Breastfeeding is Biologically Normal So Why Do I Feel Like a Freak?

As always, I feel the need to point out that being pro-breastfeeding does not make me anti-formula.  I don't care if a woman immediately chooses to use formula with her newborn.  It's not my baby, it's not my choice.  I am pro-breastfeeding and I want every woman to be able to reach her breastfeeding goals - whatever those goals may be.

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I think it's safe to say that people tend to say stupid things when they are uniformed and/or uneducated.  Few things bring out the crazy-talk quite like things that make us feel threatened, judged, or inferior.  Take breastfeeding, for example. 

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding continue until AT LEAST 2-years of age.  Yeah, but we're Americans so we're supposed to thumb our noses at the rest of the world and do what we want to do, right?  Not so fast there, Cowboy. . .even the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends ONLY breastmilk until the infant reaches 6-months of age and breastmilk with solids until AT LEAST one-year of age.  Oh.

Does this mean you suck (heh!) if you didn't breastfeed that long?  No.  Does this mean you are the worst mom ever if you just plain didn't want to breastfeed.  Nope.  Does this mean you should be a judgemental douche toward women who do choose to nurse their children (their walking & possibly talking children - oh noes!) according to these guidelines.  Absolutely not! 

Unfortunately, I find that this very thing happens all too often.  I don't know what it is about information that is so damn threatening, but women frequently respond as if these recommendations are a personal attack.  That's a shame because they just might be a little less judgemental toward a mother who is breastfeeding outside of their own notion of when it is "appropriate" to feed a baby - infant or toddler.

I have a 16-month old and that child still breastfeeds several times every single day.  Some days more, some days less, but an average is 6 to 8 nursing sessions each day.  My baby eats table food and drinks from a cup. . .but my baby also still nurses straight from the tap and that's perfectly normal.

My husband has always supported me breastfeeding our children and am I thankful for that because I might not have stuck with it if I had a man-child at home whining about his babies on my breasts.  I have learned a lot about human lactation over the years so I had the education to succeed and, for that, I am thankful.  I also did not have any physical obstacles that might make breastfeeding particularly difficult and that makes me very fortunate.  I had a desire to breastfeed and I know why I'm doing it.  I'm secure in my decision to breastfeed outside of infancy. 

It's not like I'm some wild & crazy lactivist.  I don't whip my tits out and make a spectacle of myself when I'm nursing my baby.  I'm just a middle-aged suburban mother of two children.  So why is it that I'm always carrying on about breastfeeding? 

It's because even people who I know and love sometimes run their mouths and say things that are hurtful.  Things that make it sound like I'm some sort of weirdo, some fanatic, for feeding my child in the way my body was designed.  Breastfeeding is biologically normal, so why do people try to make me feel like such a freak?

As I already said, I'm secure in my decision so nothing anyone says is going to sway my decision to breastfeed my toddler.  Not all women are so comfortable.  Some women are only hanging on by a thread. . .they are just one nursing session away from giving up.  One dirty look, one snotty comment, one ill-informed opinion away from replacing their nipple with one of latex or silicone, replacing their own human breastmilk for their baby in favor of giving the babe cow milk. 

The very thought that these women might be discouraged from reaching their breastfeeding goals because someone else thinks it's strange, perverted, or "icky" is infuriating to me.  I nurse my baby anytime and anywhere because I wouldn't hesitate to do the same if he were being given a bottle and this has allowed me to hear some interesting comments.  Let's look at some utterly ridiculous statements I've heard about breastfeeding, shall we?  Buckle up, Buttercup, away we go!

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"Breastfeeding is a special moment between mother and child so it should be done in private."  Breastfeeding is eating.  Breast - FEEDING, get it?!  If you wouldn't eat your sandwich in private. . .no, if you wouldn't tell a bottle feeding mother to feed her baby in private, then you shouldn't say the same to a breastfeeding mother. 

"It's immodest to breastfeed in public."  Modesty is subjective and my personal comfort level may not be the same as yours.  Your sense of modesty does not trump my baby's right to eat.  Period.

"If they have teeth, they shouldn't be breastfeeding."  Breastfeeding is nurturing and nutritive so I don't understand why teeth matter in this arbitrary age cutoff.  Some babies are born with teeth. . .should they not be permitted to breastfeed?

"If they can ask for it, they're too old for it."  I find this interesting because usually we're excited that baby can finally communicate and we're eager to respond favorably so baby continues to communicate.  Why is nursing any different than baby asking for a cracker or a cup of water?  My baby has been able to open my nightgown, push aside my sleep bra, and latch on for a midnight snack since he was an infant.

"Are you going to use a cover?"  I have used a nursing cover and I find that they draw even more attention to what I'm doing.  That said, I don't prefer to make anyone around me uncomfortable so I do try to minimize any possibility of exposing my nipples. . .because that's the thing that freaks everyone out, right?  A nipple.  I can show cleavage, incredible amounts of cleavage, all day long and no one thinks anything about it.  A little nipple gets exposed and the entire world goes mad!

"I get that breastfeeding is natural.  Peeing is natural too so should we just start doing that in public too?"  Comparing breastfeeding in public to urination in public is comparing apples to oranges.  One has to do with eating/feeding/comforting a baby and the other has to do with the end result of eating/drinking.  The correct comparison would be:  if a woman can choose to publically feed her baby the way her body was designed to feed  her baby, then I should be able to eat in public.  Oh, wait. . .you can eat in public!  So can a breastfed baby.

"Adults can look away and be mature, but kids and teens might be weirded out by breastfeeding in public so you should be considerate and cover up."  I've heard and witnessed more nonsense from adults than from children when I've nursed my baby in public.  If anything, children seem curious about this way of feeding a baby.  Breastfeeding will never be considered normal (and it is biologically normal for mammals to breastfeed) if we continue to cover it up and hide it away. 

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I am aware that bottle feeding mothers (whether the bottle contains breastmilk or formula) also face judgement and that sucks too.  My children accepted bottles for such a short period that I have no idea what it's like to have a baby take one and feel the weight of militant milkers all up in my baby's meal.  That said, I can't think of a single instance in which a bottlefeeder was asked to leave an establishment or a public place because they were bottlefeeding their child.  This does happen to breastfeeding mothers and it is wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

I am thankful that society will eventually think nothing of nursing an infant or toddler in public and I hope that my children's generation is the one that decides that shaming breastfeeding mothers is as backward and wrong as racial segregation.

"Shouldn't He Be Weaned By Now?"

This is a note that I wrote on my personal Facebook page.  I thought it was important enough to publish on my blog.  Why am I so passionate about defending rights to breastfeed?  Well, that's probably another blog post but the simple answer is because it's my baby, my breasts, my choice.  Not your baby, not your breasts, not your choice.  End of story.

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"Shouldn't he be weaned by now?"

Surely I'm not the only breastfeeding mother who has heard this question and here is my answer.  I will refer to this note each and every time I am asked the above question or any variation of the question that subtly implies I should not be breastfeeding my son.

The answer is the same if you're family, friend, or foe: I will do it until we're ready to quit and I have no idea when that will be so there's no sense in pressing the topic unless you're deliberately trying to antagonize me. There are zero negatives, it's so incredibly beneficial to child and mother, and he is barely even a year old so I haven't even once considered quitting yet. He won't be doing it forever and I'm so very glad that you're so concerned about my baby and me. The next time you ask, I'll be sure to gently enlighten you further that mammals are designed for this nurturing & nutritive activity and it is as normal a biological function as you eating your meal or drinking your beverage. Feel free to try to argue with me, but your problem isn't with me or my position- your problem is with science, history, and research. I know, I know, those darn pesky facts always getting in the way of an uneducated opinion!

Why is it that people feel that it is acceptable to ask such a question to a breastfeeding mother, but they wouldn't even think to ask a similar question to a bottle feeding mother?  A friend put it very well when she said:  my baby doesn't need to get off my boobs, but you need to get off my back.  Indeed!

I don't think that people are trying to be jerks (most of the time), but I do think that there is a not-so-subtle pressure to wean long before now. It is sometimes disguised as concern (you must want a break from that baby), sometimes it's justified by anecdote (I had formula and I turned out fine), sometimes it's just sheer ignorance of human biology (they don't need breastmilk if they have teeth), and sometimes it's just douchebaggery. I prefer to believe that most people aren't in the last category. It's aggravating nonetheless and, in a less determined mother, it would probably shake her resolve to continue her breastfeeding relationship with her child.  That is a shame and many women find their breastfeeding goals are subtly or overtly undermined by friends, family, and society in general.  I'm a stubborn old mule these days and I will keep on keeping on because I'm confident in my decision. :-)

I can't necessarily blame people for thinking it's weird because society thinks it's weird and most people don't care enough about human lactation to educate themselves about it. They are just uniformed. Society says breasts are A-Ok for filling out bikinis, selling beer, and generally being sexy. Baby attached to something "sexy" is skeevy because babies are not sexy so on some level I do get why people get weirded out.  However, someone with a hangup about basic biology is not my problem and it darn sure is not my child's problem.  Educate yourself about it and you'll quickly get over it.

Once upon a time I was slack-jaw shocked to happen upon my 10-month old niece breastfeeding.  To be fair, I was only 13-years old and I'd never seen such an old infant nursing.  I almost laugh that I actually thought a ten-month old was pretty old to be nursing!  I got over it. . .boy, did I!  As my husband once teasingly said, I'm like Ms. La Leche League.  Oddly enough, I've never once been to an LLL meeting.  I just have a passion for helping women achieve their breastfeeding goals because I know that there is tremendous pressure to just give in and pop a bottle of formula in your baby's mouth.  Unfortunately, it's sooo easy for that first bottle to be the beginning of the end of a breastfeeding relationship.

I have found that most people who get weirded out by seeing my son at my breast will be weirded out no matter how many facts and truths I present. Most of you guys have seen me breastfeed and I'm hardly a whip-out-the-boob type of nurser. I don't prefer to call a lot of attention to what we're doing when he's nursing. I will, however, absolutely not withhold breastfeeding from my baby if he needs/wants it no matter where we are or who is there and that is that.  His right to eat is greater than your right to not feel icky about seeing him eat.

Did you catch that last part?  His right to eat.  It's breastfeeding.  Feeding!  My son has a right to eat.  Just like you do.  Just like I do.  My son happens to get his milk from my breasts.  He still has the right to eat.  Period!

Part of the reason why I'm so vocal about supporting a woman's breastfeeding goals is because women who choose to breastfeed really do need a cheerleader to encourage them. It is not easy and society really does not encourage it. Things are better now in some ways (laws protecting the child's right to eat!), but worse in others because breasts are more sexualized than ever and you can hardly turn on the TV without seeing someone displaying their boobs. But a baby on the breast? Well, that's just gross & indecent! I've also heard people say they find nursing to be immodest, tacky, and classless.  I'm glad that such backward thinking will eventually die out and hopeful that upcoming generations will be less likely to keep breasts solely in the "sexy" category.  I'm definitely doing my part to normalize breastfeeding to my kids so they won't even bat an eye when they see a woman nursing her child.

You know, that's something that should outrage everyone: things are/were so messed up if you want to breastfeed your child that laws actually had to be enacted to protect your child's right to eat! It is a damn shame that laws had to be written to allow the feeding of another human being! No matter your position on breastfeeding, nursing in public, or anything else, that is an outrage!

Equally outrageous is that no one would say boo to me if I were bottle feeding my son at this age. Well, one or two might, but in general no one would have a single word to say if I were bottle feeding my one-year old. Society's bias against breastfeeding will change one day, but even my husband (hardly the most crunchy guy on the block) has noted that the pressure to remove your breast from your child is intense from the moment you leave the hospital. Frankly, I think his observation depends on the hospital as I happened to deliver our boys at a very breastfeeding friendly hospital with knowledgeable and supportive nursing staff.  Even then, it was a horribly painful struggle with my first child and there were times that I questioned why I was still moving forward and trying to make breastfeeding work.  I ended up nursing him until he was 13-months and I still regret that I weaned him at such a young age.

The easiest answer to your question is this:  I'm not sure when he'll wean, but it will eventually happen.

You Can't Keep Good Breasts Down!

I'm currently 14w4d pregnant.  Though I went up a few cup sizes by the time I gave birth to my son, I was surprised that my breasts already grew by two cup sizes well before the end of the first trimester with this pregnancy.  Hubs thought my twins looked luscious, but he was forbidden from touching them because they were painfully tender.  If you've been pregnant, you probably understand.  My sweater enhancers are no longer nearly as sore, but I'm thinking he won't be interested in my bodacious ta-tas because of a new development. 

I'm leaking.

Yes, my breasts are already leaking.  I'm barely in the second trimester and my bras have already been colostrum-stained by that precious liquid gold.  I ended up having to wear nursing pads from around the fifth or sixth month on with my son and I'm amazed that my milky fountains have already kicked in hard enough that the overflow is spilling out.  Right about now I'm kicking myself in the butt for packing all of my reusable cloth nursing pads - grrr!

It's debatable whether or not my body was built for easy conception and pregnancies, but my breasts sure as heck were built for easy nursing!

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If you've been pregnant, when did you notice that your breasts started leaking?  For those of you with more than one pregnancy, did you find that second (and subsequent) pregnancies yielded earlier leakage?

They're NOT Your Boobs So You Can Just Suck It!

I recently read an article about so-called extended breastfeeding and it got me thinking.  Dangerous, I know.  But it made me wonder why it is that people (even pediatricians if you can believe it!) imply that breastmilk is no longer beneficial to the child once they hit their first birthday. Why would it be so wonderful (and it is) in infancy and be of no consequence (or a detriment) in toddlerhood?? 

It just makes no sense and it aggravates me to no end that so many believe that one-year is the maximum length that a child should receive breastmilk.  I know that I fully weaned my son at just at 13-months, but I have often felt that I should have let him nurse until at least around 18-months.  Yes, I believe that I weaned him too young.  After all that I've learned about breastmilk and nursing in general, I would go so far as to say that I feel that one-year is the bare minimum that I would want to nurse a child of mine. 

Okay, I heard the groans from some of you.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it out of your system so you can pay attention and you might actually learn something or, at the very least, get a little food for thought.  Here, I'll write what you're thinking so we can get on with it:  that Heather is such a hippie (guilty!), she's just trying to keep her son a baby (uh, okay?), I suppose she would have nursed him through High School (no way), what pervert wants to nurse that long (you need to look in the mirror to see the perv), doesn't she know it's not healthy to nurse that long - SCREECH - Stop!  This is the one that boggles my head.

I have found that even people who support breastfeeding for six-months or one-year will balk at nursing that goes beyond the first birthday.  I'm sad to say that even pediatricians are guilty of using this faulty logic.  What I don't understand is how someone can believe that breastfeeding is important for an infant, but somehow also think that the milky fountains should be shut off as soon as the child hits toddlerhood.  What do they think happens?  The milk is made fresh throughout the day so it isn't like it spoils or goes bad.  It certainly isn't unhealthy from a nutritional standpoint (and oftentimes is the only nourishment that the child will accept while ill or feeling unwell) so what exactly is so "wrong" about breastfeeding after the birthday cake has been enjoyed?

Does 18-months sound too "old" for breastfeeding?  Really?  One and one-half years is too old?!  Seriously?  I suppose it might seem that way to some, but understand I'm coming from the viewpoint that breastfeeding is the normal and natural way to feed, soothe, comfort, and generally "mother" our children and a 1 1/2-year old child is still very much a young toddler who needs all of those things.  I know it's popular to believe so, but our children really aren't mini-adults who need to be pushed to grow up too soon.

What's that you say?  It weirds you out to see a walking toddler suck milk from the source?  Why would that weird anyone out?  Breasts may well be fun in the sack, keep crumbs off your lap, and help enhance sweaters, but they do definitely serve a dual purpose and producing milk for human children is the reason our breasts are equipped with milk ducts.  Why keep breasts in only the "sexy" compartment when they are also designed to fill another purpose?  Don't hold back the ta-tas, they are incredibly versatile and really can fill many roles!

Sure, breasts are hot.  But breastfeeding isn't sexy, it's simply feeding a child.  If you wouldn't be disgusted or offended by a mother bottlefeeding, you shouldn't feel either negative emotion about a mother breastfeeding.

Interestingly enough, I don't have a lot of breast tissue, but they are sensitive and I'll admit that I did worry about whether or not I'd get "turned on" when my baby nursed.  I shouldn't have wasted my time on such a dopey thought.  Seriously, it turned out that breastfeeding is probably the least sexy thing I've ever done.  Let's start with the fact that I cried when I tried to nurse in the early weeks because it hurt so darn bad!  Thanks to that awful early experience, my advice to everyone is to see a lactation consultant while still in the hospital if at all possible because I suffered needlessly for far too long!  Once the initial seven-weeks of torture was over, breastfeeding was easy and awesome though it wasn't remotely sexy.  Sex literally was the furthest thing from my mind when my son nursed, but nipples dripping (okay, spraying) milk all over the place just doesn't do it for me so I acknowledge that your results may vary.

If you have an issue with seeing a young toddler breastfeeding, well, you're the one with the issue - not the mother and certainly not the child.  You can just suck it if you don't like it. . .just don't suck them or you'll likely get a knuckle sandwich courtesy of mama.

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The benefits of nursing your child until one year of age are well documented and known to most of the general public.  I thought it would be good to list out the benefits of so-called extended nursing (that is, nursing that goes beyond one year) for your baby:

- Nutrition.  Breastmilk is still nutritious and healthy for a toddler.  Sure, it's composition is different than what you'd produce for a one-month old, but a toddler is also eating solids and doesn't require breastmilk for all nutrients.  Understand that this does not mean there aren't any nutrients in breastmilk (honestly, that's about the most absurd thing I've ever heard), it just means that the toddler also gets nutrients from other sources.
- Decreased risk of illness.  This is huge to me because sick kids aren't any fun!  Breastmilk contains anti-bodies that are very beneficial to the child's immune system.  In fact, some of these immunological factors are actually increased in the 2nd year of lactation until weaning occurs!  Breastfed children suffer far fewer colds and illnesses than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.
- Reduced allergies.  Breastfed children as a whole have far fewer allergies than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.  I've read that this is due to having a healthier gut lining, but haven't really researched it as allergies don't run in our families.
- Confidence & Independence.  Seems counterintuitive to say that extended nursing will raise a more confident child, but studies have shown that it does because that child's needs have been lovingly met and the child received plenty of consistent nurturing.  Is it possible to do both without breastfeeding?  Sure, but whipping out the twins is easy, natural, and normal and I'm all about doing whatever's easy, natural, and normal.
- It's encouraged by experts.  Don't just take it from a middle-aged suburban blogger, listen to the experts.  Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding beyond age one for the health benefits to baby and mama.  Indeed, WHO recommends it continue beyond age two! 
- Convenience.  Unlike bottles and sippy cups of formula or cow milk, your breastmilk is always there, always safe to consume, always ready for your child.
- It's comforting.  Toddlerhood can be a scary time for a child and most don't have the ability to express their concerns and fears so they throw tantrums.  Countless breastfeeding mothers can attest to the fact that a little comfort nursing can head off most tantrums and soothe even the most upset child.


In case the benefits to your child aren't enough, what about the benefits afforded you by nursing?  This list isn't specific to extended nursing. . .breastfeeding for any length of time is beneficial.

- It's easier.  Waking up at all hours of the day and night to prepare and clean bottles & nipples wasn't very appealing to me.  What could be easier than putting the baby to breast and then putting them back to bed?  One could argue that co-sleeping mothers have it even easier as they don't even have to get out of bed.  Heck, I didn't want to deal with bottles during waking hours either!
- Easier weight loss after pregnancy.  What woman hasn't lamented how they looked after delivery?  The body expects the mother to breastfeed and stores up fat to help facilitate breastfeeding.  The easiest way to move that fat off your body is to breastfeed!  Most, not all, women find that breastfeeding makes post-partum weight loss extremely easy.  Note that this isn't a green light to chow down on double cheeseburgers or you might find that you're just as heavy or heavier as when you were pregnant!  Remember that you only need around 300 extra calories each day while breastfeeding.
- Lowered risk of many cancers.  Breast cancer risk in particular is lowered through breastfeeding, but ovarian, uterine, and endometrial cancers are also lower in women who breastfed their children.
- Delayed return of menses and ovulation/fertility.  This is primarily true for exclusive breastfeeding (ZERO supplementation with solids or formula), which is recommended for the first six months of an infant's life anyway, but most women find that menses doesn't return for a loooong time if they are committed to nursing.  While it's possible that one may ovulate without experiencing a period, it's most often true that you aren't ovulating if you aren't getting periods.  Of course, you should use a backup form of birth control if you aren't exclusively breastfeeding.
- Increased emotional well being.  Prolactin, the hormone that helps produce milk, naturally promotes relaxation and relieves stress.  Speaking for myself, I always felt the world simply fell away when I was nursing my son and sometimes would be shocked to discover that I had actually dozed during the nursing session.  Given my history with insomnia, the extra rest was awesome!  Oxytocin, stimulated during let down, is called the bonding hormone because it inspires loving feelings.  I lost count of the number of times that I felt my heart would burst out of my chest with love and joy for my son while nursing.  Sure, my love burns for my son like the fire of a thousand suns, but my feelings were somehow magnified by the oxytocin while nursing.

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A friend of mine summed it up perfectly when she said, I'll paraphrase, if it's not your kid or your boobs why do you care?

My Favorite Tools for Breastfeeding

I was thinking about breastfeeding the other day and wanted to write a post about my disappointment over people's reaction toward so-called extended breastfeeding, but somehow it became a post about the items I really appreciated having when I was breastfeeding my son.  Perhaps you have something to add to my list?

My initial instinct is to just write "BREASTS" and call this post complete, but that wouldn't be the truth because I found that I needed more than just my breasts to have a successful nursing relationship with my son.  So here's a list of my favorite items that helped me nurse my lil' guy until he was right around 13-months old.  I tried to list things in order of importance, but realize that doing so didn't really work out that way for this list.


The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins - This book was like my breastfeeding bible.  It was so helpful every step of the way!  Think your baby isn't getting enough milk because they nurse a lot?  It's covered.  Think something is wrong with your milk because your baby is fussy or spits up a lot?  It's covered.  Think maybe you should wean because baby is "old enough" or you're too tired to nurse?  It's covered.  I referred to it so often that I am kicking myself for lending it out because I never got it back and I know that I'll want it again when this baby is born.

My Brest Friend - This nursing pillow was my absolute favorite for the first several months of my son's life because it made it so much easier to get him in a good position for nursing.  I really struggled with breastfeeding while in the hospital and part of it was because it felt that he was resting directly on my incision whenever he was nursing. . .thankfully, I had this nursing pillow at home!  It has a wrap-around design that stays put until you're ready to remove it (I actually was able to walk around and nurse only because of this pillow) and it was almost like a firm shelf that he rested on right under my breasts.  It also has a handy little pocket for stuff like nursing pads, lip balm, and nipple lanolin.

Boppy - This crescent-shaped nursing pillow is much more popular than My Brest Friend, but I didn't find it helpful at all until my son was around six-months old and older.  It was nice to have at that point, but I'm afraid that I may not have continued nursing if it had been the only nursing pillow available for me to use in his first six months of life.  I guess I'm saying that you might want to save the Boppy until baby is a bit older or you might find nursing somewhat discouraging.

Lansinoh Lanolin - I never used any other nipple treatments because this worked so well for me.  It kept my nipples supple and helped heal the wounds that I received to my nipples in the very beginning. 

Lansinoh Ultra Thin Nursing Pads - I had massive over-supply and I leaked constantly so I tried a lot of different nursing pads and these ones are THE BEST if you're a heavy producer.  These nursing pads held so much leaking milk that they quite literally would make a "squish" sound the few times that they hit my tiled floor.  Though the pads were totally saturated, I was dry!  Bonus: They did not leave any little fibers on my breasts like I experienced with other brands.

Lansinoh Ultra Soft Nursing Pads - These were my favorite to use when my nipples were tender or sore, but they did look a little funny under my shirt.  They were great in the beginning and anytime that my son experienced a growth spurt.  Why mention the growth spurts?  Because during a growth spurt it can feel like your infant is hanging off your boobs 24/7 and all that extra nursing can make your nipples hurt.  Bonus (again):  They don't leave any fibers to pick off your sore nipples.

Reusable Nursing Pads - A few months after my son was weaned, I no longer had to use my standard Lansinoh Ultra Thin disposable nursing pads.  However, I still had leaking issues and it took a looooong time for my milk to dry up so I turned to cotton nursing pads that could be washed & dried.  Of the mainstream (found in BRU) pads, I liked the size of Dr. Brown's the best.  The others I tried were too small and looked really funny under my bra.

Breast Pump - I have no proof of this, but I swear that lots of pumping in the early days is what set me up with a fantastic milk supply.  I used a double electric while in the hospital and switched to the manual Avent Isis at home.  It's quiet, inexpensive, and super-easy to take apart for cleaning.  Using the Avent Isis, I was able to get ounce after ounce after ounce of milk in less than ten minutes and, as a result, I had tons of frozen breastmilk that I could use to mix with my son's cereal once he started solids.

Breast Shells - Note that I am not talking about a completely different item called breast shields!  I liked Avent's breast shells and they were so helpful when my nipples were healing (after having bad latch for the first several days) and when I suffered with engorgement issues.  I had engorgement issues off & on for around nine months so I had plenty of experience with using these babies.

Cold Packs and Warm Compresses - These were helpful to alternate when my milk came in and I had the most painful engorgement issues.  When I was so full that my nipples were stretched totally flat, I found it helpful to lean over a big bowl of warm water and let my nipples soften up.  Funky bonus is that it looks crazy to see the milk swirl out of your nipple and in to the water. I also thought that spraying down the shower with my milky fountains worked too, but it required more effort.

Breasts & Nipples - Obviously these are necessary, right?  One thing you might not realize is that the percentage of women who are biologically incapable of breastfeeding is incredibly small.  So if you want to breastfeed, the chances are incredibly good that you'll be able to do it.  Small breasts, inverted nipples, and other issues aren't necessarily a roadblock to establishing a nursing relationship.  If you have any reason to think that you have (or may have) problems with breastfeeding, do seek out the assistance of a lactation consultant as soon as possible to get help and reassurance.

Fluids - I was so thirsty and drank so much water when I was breastfeeding!  I guzzled a full glass of water at every nursing session in the early months of breastfeeding.  Fluids are important for a nursing mama, but follow your own thirst cues and avoid fluids that are diuretics.

Rest - Silly idea, resting while breastfeeding exclusively, but it's sorta possible.  Some mamas have success with side nursing, but I could never make it work for me.  If you can manage it, you can snooze while baby nurses.  Let the house fall apart and lean on others for help wherever you can find it so you can sleep when the baby sleeps.  Why rest?  Because your body will have an easier time producing milk if you're not bone-tired all the time.

Baby Carrier - I liked a stretchy wrap for the early days, but a ring sling would also work.  Actually any carrier that's appropriate for the child and used safely will be a good choice.  Why wear your baby?  Because it's easier to spot hunger cues when baby is nearby.  I also found that I was more milkalicious and produced far more milk when baby was against my body.

Attitude - It's true in breastfeeding and any other area of your life:  Don't "try," just "do."  In other words, don't let your attitude be a contributor to failure.  Why take home hospital samples of formula if you're planning to breastfeed?  Leave them there and believe that you will not need them.  Believe that you can do it and you probably will.  I think it was Henry Ford who said it best, whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right.

Education - No, you don't need to become a lactation consultant, but ignorance is not always bliss and many women, even mothers, are not very well informed about breastfeeding.  Devour books and scour websites to learn all you can about breastfeeding.  Find out if you can have meet with a lactation consultant or if there are any La Leche League meetings in your area.  Talk with friends who breastfed their own children for any length of time and pay particular attention to those who were able to nurse as long as they wanted because they probably have a lot of handy information to share that they learned while breastfeeding.  Arm yourself with the knowledge you'll need to succeed.


Did you breastfeed?  What were your favorite tools for breastfeeding?

Someone is Definitely Not on the Wagon!

Like a violent drunk who needs all weapons locked up prior to going on a bender, I apparently need my laptop taken away before I decide to go off the wagon.  Following is e-mail evidence that I wish I was making up for the purpose of writing this post.  Alas, it is verbatim and I'm mortified.  I'm only sharing it here because I'm guessing that it might be amusing to some of you and, if read after yesterday's post, the amusement will probably go off the charts.

Perhaps I shouldn't always try to out-drink frat boys when I'm cozying up to Al Co Hall.  Just so all the boys & girls out there know for sure, martinis really are like breasts:  one isn't enough, but three is just too many. . .particularly when said three glasses of vodka are following a bottle of wine.

* * *

To: My OB at 1:42 am
Sub:  Is Pelvic Rest Really Necessary

So, Doctor, I'm not really your patient at this point, but is a six-week period of pelvic rest really necessary in my situation? I've totally ignored the pelvic restriction (after one week) and now I'm wondering if I've broken something up inside of me since I didn't hold fast to the six-weeks? ( you'll say it's all good) For the record, everything feels just fine from my standpoint and I'm not taking any

* * *

To:  My OB at 1:58 am
Sub:  Pt. II - Laptops Suck!!

I swear that laptops will be the death of me!

So anyway, hubs wants to know if everything is cool up in my babyworks since I've (we've) ignored the restrictions (?!) (so sue me!) and we enjoyed each other tonight. I said it was probably cool, but he had his misgivings. I feel totally fine so I'm hoping that means that everything is, in fact, fine. This six-weeks isn't really necessary, is it?! Really, six-weeks is an awful long time and your advice would be appreciated. . .

* * *

From:  My OB at 5:38 am

How can you say that you're not my patient! I certainly hope to continue to be your doctor!
OK, so now to your answer. Many times in medicine we are asked to give advice when no data is available. Our advice of abstaining after a miscarriage is an example. I usually use a 2-3 week advice, never 6 weeks.
No, you didn't harm anything. I do sugget the use of a condom for 2 months after the miscariage to let all heal prior to trying agin.
And I advise continued daily vitamins.

* * *

To:  My OB at 9:02 am

Well, I was quite the busy girl last night! I'm impressed at my polite phrasing and it makes for hilarious blog fodder, but cringing at my silly messages to you for the last hour hasn't made them go away and I feel the need to respond.

Not that I'm in the habit of sending e-mails to physicians at 2:00 am or anything, but you can't get too worked up over anything that I say at that time of day if you know what I mean. It just seems awkward to say that you are my doctor since I'm not PG.

Thanks for the reassurance and advice. I am still taking the vitamins and I'll do my best to follow the rest of your suggestions. And, of course, should I find myself knocked up in the future, you will be my doctor!

Best regards, (insert my name here)

PS I'm glad I was right! Ha! :)

* * *

I must be a freaking marvelous patient.  Thank goodness that I have a wonderful vagina because I don't think there's much else to recommend me to this poor doctor!

What is it with Women?

What is it with women?  If we can't be supportive, can't we at least be respectful toward each other?  Do we always have to disdain women who have different opinions or make different choices than us?  My specific gripe is with women who insert themselves into your personal choice about how to feed your own baby.

If you've had a baby, you know that you have a choice right off the bat:  formula feed or breastfeed.  We all know that breast milk is best, but the fact is that not everyone wants to go through the effort to establish a nursing relationship.  I can totally understand their feelings as I had a loooong learning curve when it came to breastfeeding.  I suffered mightily for seven weeks before I didn't hurt with every feeding.  And feedings occurred every ninety minutes.  Imagine pain visited upon your impossibly tender and sore nipples every ninety minutes around the clock for nearly two months.  Breastfeeding may be perfectly natural, but it sure did not come easily to me!

I really hated breastfeeding in the early days and it's hard to say who cried more in those early weeks, the baby or me.  Okay, I'll admit that it was definitely me.  I was stubborn though and I wanted to give my son the very best nutrition so I kept moving forward in my attempts to establish a good nursing relationship with my son.  I'm very thankful that I was able to become a SAHM for many reasons and a big one is that I know I would have quit breastfeeding and just went with formula had I returned to work.

As I've indicated in previous blog posts about breastfeeding, I am a fan of the practice.  I exclusively breastfed my son until he was around five months old.  That means that he only received nourishment from my breasts for that entire time.  I continued to nurse him until he was over one year old and fully weaned him shortly after his first birthday.  Though we had a rocky start, I ended up having a remarkably easy breastfeeding relationship with my son.

Look, we all know that breast is best, but it is no one's business how someone else chooses to feed their own baby.  Some moms don't get the support and resources to establish a good breastfeeding relationship so they turn to a bottle of formula out of desperation.  Some just don't want to for other reasons; maybe they think it will make their boobs droop, maybe they don't want to be tied down to their new baby, maybe it's some other reason.  A very small percentage are physically unable to produce enough milk no matter what they do to increase their milk supply.  And some simply cannot because their medications are contraindicated; chemotherapy patients, for example.  Regardless of the reasons, it doesn't matter because it is ultimately their decision how they feed their own baby and *it has nothing to do with anyone else.

Breastfeeding was the best way for me to feed my son, but that doesn't mean that I should be hurtful toward someone who chooses to formula feed - for whatever reason.  Since I was so determined to nurse our son, formula feeding was NOT going to happen, my husband is always surprised by my opinions on this topic.  I know that I'm incredibly opinionated.  Heck, this blog is primarily made up of my opinions and thoughts.  While I've been known to forcefully state an opinion or two, I hope that it's clear that my opinions aren't indictments toward others who feel, act, or raise their children differently - vaccination being the notable exception.  Vive la difference, as our French friends would say. . .

Women tend to judge themselves harshly and it's a rare woman who meets her own standards.  No matter what we do, it's never enough and this causes plenty of Mom Guilt.  Since we are our own worst critic, we don't need other moms heaping it on too. 

Come on, ladies, you don't have to approve of or even support different parenting choices, but can we just try to be nice toward each other?


*Ignoring the long term health impact of mothers & children and the societal impact of breastfeeding v formula feeding infants.

Hear Me RAWR!

Sometimes I swear that my body is out to get me. 

I haven't been able to fall asleep until after 2:00 am for a couple of nights.  Guess what?  I still have to get up and take care of my son whether I've slept enough or not.  That might not have been a problem 10 or 15 years ago, but I really have a hard time handling life when I'm over-tired.  I don't eat dinner at 4:30 pm or watch Matlock reruns, but I'm not exactly a spry teenager or young adult any longer.  My exhaustion got the better of me late this afternoon and I crashed out on the couch.  I don't generally fall asleep easily, and certainly not on the couch, but I could not keep my eyes open for one more second.  Thank goodness my husband was home for a little bit before returning to work this evening!

My breastmilk finally dried up completely around a month ago.  I haven't had any leakage since then.  My breasts have been a tingly mess since last night.  I often felt the tingling right before let down or right after a nursing session.  Maybe eating most of an entire bunch of kale (two batches of kale chips and colcannon) wasn't such a great idea.  Don't think that eating kale has anything to do with anything?  Guess again.  Apparently kale is a food that can help increase breastmilk supply.  Great.  Just what I need.  So much for my new favorite snack.  Oh, man, it was so good though that it was totally worth my discomfort.  Since my boobs hurt, that naturally means that my son has headbutted me in the breasts twice since yesterday.  Ouch!

I'm tired, my boobs hurt, and I'm in a pretty irritable mood all around.  Don't mess with me tonight, world, I'll take you all down if you so much as look at me funny!  Sounds a lot like PMS to me.  I think this might be one of those rare occasions that I go to sleep before my husband arrives home from work.

Farewell to My Sweet Leche

Sometimes big things come in small packages.  Case in point:  my breasts.  My breasts were small, but mighty. 

I have had to wear nursing pads since around January 2008.  Those who are quick at math can easily calculate that my son wasn't born for several months after I began wearing nursing pads.  Why was I wearing nursing pads for months before my son was born?  Because my breasts were already leaking.  Really, that should have been my first clue as to what was in my future.

By the time my son was born, my breasts had increased by three cup sizes.  After his birth, they went up one more.  Ouch!  I guess you just can't stretch skin that tightly and that quickly without ending up with stretch marks.  The only place that I have stretch marks are on my breasts.

Knowing that I was going to have a c-section left me distraught for many reasons.  I am afraid of regional nerve blocks.  I had never had a surgery.  I wanted to spend as little time in a hospital as possible.  And, mainly, I was concerned about the impact it would have on my breastfeeding relationship with my son. 

My concerns were so great that I actually inquired if my OB thought I should attempt a vaginal birth.  My son was breech and, while my OB had attended plenty of vaginal breech births in his career, he didn't seem too keen on the idea.  He didn't outright say he thought it was a bad idea, but he did caution me that they are generally a much more painful birth and they do carry higher risks.  So I had a c-section.  My son was breech and sunny-side up, so I guess it really was the best that I didn't attempt a vaginal delivery.

I was in a recovery room for two hours after my son was born.  I had fallen asleep during delivery and, other than when I saw him pulled from my abdomen, I didn't remember seeing my newborn.  I spent those two lonely hours pleading with the nurse to let me see my son.  I cried a lot and I was desperate to make my legs move enough that she would send me up to my room. 

I was in such a hurry because I knew the clock was ticking.  The longer I spent screwing around in recovery, the more likely that some "helpful" nurse might stick a bottle (artificial nipple) in my son's mouth.  Worse, they might try to satisfy his natural sucking need by giving him a pacifier.  My husband was given two very firm instructions from me:  Do not let the baby out of your sight for one moment and do not let them give the baby a bottle or a pacifier.

"I want to see my baby.  Please let me see my baby," was my constant refrain.  I finally regained enough mobility that they sent me to my room.  Of course, I immediately asked for my baby.

My husband brought me our son and I wept at the sight of his sweet face.  Once everyone left us alone, I put him to my breast.  It HURT!  It REALLY HURT!  I kept telling myself that this must be normal and to push ahead.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  Yes, breastfeeding can feel somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning.  But it shouldn't make you cry every single time you put your child to your breast.  And it sure as heck shouldn't leave you with bloody scabs on your nipples.

I ended up getting the hospital's double electric pump and I used it after every feeding while I was in the hospital. I actually credit this with giving me my remarkably high milk supply. I ended up with bottle after bottle of colostrum by the time I left the hospital. When we gathered all of my bottles from the nursery refrigerator, one of the nurses said, "Oh, you're the one with all the colostrum."

My problem was ever a lack of supply, it was that my son and I just couldn't get a proper latch.  The lactation nurse at the hospital wasn't very helpful and I got the distinct impression that she thought I should just bottle feed.  I would not even consider it, so I kept trying.  The nipples on their bottles had a ridiculously unnatural shape and the flow was altogether way too fast - two things that a breastfeeding mama doesn't want from a supplemental bottle.  When I was too sore to even attempt a latch, we fed him my colostrum with a tiny plastic syringe.  Drop by golden drop.

My son lost just at 10% of his body weight and they told me that they'd begin to bottle feed him if he didn't start putting that weight back on.  I spent all night with him at my breast before they were going to weigh him again.  I actually woke him every 90 minutes to try and force in another cc or so of colostrum.  I was so thankful that he gained enough weight that they'd send us home.

My nipples were sore as heck and still sported scabs, but the real pain didn't kick in until I'd been home a couple of days.  My milk came in.  I was literally reduced to tears.  At that moment, I would have to say that my breasts hurt far more than my incision.  Yes, it was that painful. 

Compounding the problem was that we still didn't have a good latch.  Every single feeding session was still impossibly painful.  Now my breasts grew another cup size and they were heavy with milk.  My skin was stretched so tight that it looked shiny.  My nipples were nearly flattened by the stretching.  Ouch!

I visited the lactation clinic and actually got some good pointers on positioning and latching.  By weighing before and after a nursing session, they also verified that my son was getting plenty when he was at my breasts.  But it still hurt.

My husband was very bothered by all of this.  I think he hated seeing me weep every time I fed the baby and I fed the baby every ninety-minutes.  He actually said that he could understand why people give up on nursing and just decide to formula-feed.  I said I'd give it another week.

I promised myself that I'd try just one more week for weeks.  And weeks.  And weeks.  I was surprised when I realized one day that it didn't hurt. 

It took seven weeks.

Once we got the latching down, breastfeeding was pretty darn simple.  No need to measure or mix formula,  my boob juice was ready to go at all times.  No need to warm bottles, my breastmilk was a perfect temp every time.  No need to wash bottles, my nipples were clean to use whenever they were needed.  I'm sure my husband was also thankful that I breastfed because he never had to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.  As a bonus for my son, my milk was never the same flavor every time.  It took the delicious flavors of whatever foods I was eating.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my son likes a wide variety of foods and tastes - he's been exposed to them his entire life!

It wasn't all totally awesome though.  Remember that plentiful milk supply I boasted about?  As a result, I ended up having engorgement problems for months after my son was born.  For those not in the know, your breasts get so full of milk that they actually get hard.  It's painful, but the pain immediately disappears once the pressure is relieve by expressing milk.  Even that isn't really a bad thing though because I ended up with tons of milk stored in our freezer.  This milk was great for mixing in with my son's first solids - rice, barley, and oat single grain cereals.

Breastmilk is an amazing thing.  Everyone knows the obvious reasons why breastmilk is so awesome, but there are so many other wonderful things about it.  Did you know that your milk changes as your baby grows?  Did you know that breastmilk changes even during the same nursing session?  Foremilk is in the beginning of the nursing session; it's thin and somewhat watery.  Hindmilk is found toward the end of a nursing session; it's fatty and creamy.  The foremilk quenches thirst, while the hindmilk satisfies hunger.  Amazing stuff, huh?

My son was exclusively breastfed until he was five months old.  He received no other nourishment other than the milk from my breasts.  I would have EBFd longer, but the pediatrician suggested that it might decrease my son's spitting up.  It didn't.  Knowing what I know now, I think I should have expressed out all my foremilk and only let my son have the fatty hindmilk.

I promised my husband that I'd stop nursing before our son turned one.  I broke that promise by about a month.  I didn't really want to stop, but my son was less interested in nursing by then anyway.  He knew how to use a cup and a straw so I guess my breasts weren't as novel. 

Though I looked forward to actually having my first martini in nearly two years (hard liquor in particular takes a long time to process out of your body), I was sad the first night that I put him to bed without any nursing.  I cried when he went right to sleep without wanting to nurse.

I thought that was the end of it.  As is often the case, it wasn't that easy.  My son occasionally would stick his face in my shirt when he was upset or tired, but he didn't really seem to miss my milk at all.  But I didn't stop producing it.  Not by a long shot.

I bought some cloth nursing pads because disposable pads were expensive.  Plus, I didn't generally leak that much milk any longer.  However, months after I last nursed my son, I still would experience let down so hard that my shirt was drenched.  This was particularly true if I saw or heard a baby.  If the baby was crying, my nipples were guaranteed to run like a faucet of breastmilk.  I wore nursing pads for over a year after I weaned my son.  I didn't particularly want to, but they were a necessity.

I stopped wearing nursing pads two weeks ago.  I haven't had any leakage and I'm hoping that I won't.  But, I must confess, I'm a little sad to bid farewell to my sweet milk.


Postscript:  Lest you think that I'm some militant milker who gets up in everyone's business about how they choose to feed their own baby, I'm not.  I overheard someone giving a co-worker grief about her decision not to breastfeed her new baby.  I know that I'm usually so shy & retiring, but I couldn't stop myself from telling the other person that it was none of their business how she chooses to feed her baby and to stay out of her personal decision.  My husband was surprised and said, "And you're like Ms. La Leche herself!"  Yes, I am a big fan of breastmilk.  Yes, it is the very best thing to feed a baby.  Yes, I believe that it was the only thing good enough for my son.  But I also feel that no one has the right to insert themselves in another parent's decisions (with one notable exception) and it really rankles me to hear someone laying guilt on a new mother.

Am I a Hippie?

WARNING - WARNING - WARNING:  There are one or two segments of this post that probably aren't for everyone since they deal with what might be considered potentially yucky stuff or they contain forceful opinions that go against popular thinking.  Note that most of it is not gross or potentially offensive though and it might be an interesting read.

I am not a damn dirty hippie!  Yes, I heard that sentence in my head in Eric Cartman's voice.  At least, I don't like to think that I am all that crunchy or granola.  But even I must admit that I have some really crunchy & granola tendencies.  Read for yourself and decide.

I really, really, really wanted a completely natural drug-free vaginal birth.  I totally bought the line about it being so much easier and healthier to do things as nature intended - I still do.  However, my sweet little breech baby had other plans and I ended up with a c-section.  To this very day (over two years later), I still feel bitter that I was cheated out of that experience.  The logical part of my brain is aghast that I'm not simply thankful that I surgically delivered a healthy baby.  But my personal holy grail is to have a completely natural drug-free vaginal birth.  I will do anything within my power to have that experience for the second child, should we ever have one.
Verdict:  I might be a hippie.

I really, really, really wanted to breastfeed.  I had scabs on my nipples by the second day of my son's life.  Bleeding scabs on my nipples!  I was so freaking determined that my son would not have formula that I suffered for days in the hospital and for SEVEN WEEKS at home to make breastfeeding work.  I don't quit anything without a fight and I gave it my all.  I won.  He was exclusively breastfed (no formula - other than what they gave him in the hospital!, cereal, or anything else) for five months.  I'm proud that I nursed my son for over one year.  And I'm a little sad that I didn't breastfeed through his second year.
Verdict (until last line):  I might be a hippie.
Verdict (including last line):  Yes, I am a hippie.

I wanted to exclusively cloth diaper my son.  Everyone told me that I was totally nuts.  After I returned home, I realized that I could not physically reach down into our washing machine.  I already felt bad about my husband having to do regular laundry (I folded & put it away though), so I didn't ask him to wash diapers.  My son didn't use cloth for the first few months.  Once he started using cloth, I only used it at home.  Eventually I ended up using cloth all day (whether or not we were at home) and disposable diapers for overnights.  The only reason I used 'sposies overnight is because his little bottom would always be red after wearing cloth for twelve-plus hours.  I think that using cloth diapers may have helped him get potty trained before he turned two years old.  I anticipate primarily using cloth diapers with my second child, should I have one.
Verdict:  I might be a hippie.

I quit using disposable tampons around six months ago or so.  My red has gone green I guess you could say.  Who knew your period could be so damned hip?!  I was truly surprised at all the options for reusable menstrual products.  I personally like the Diva Cup.  I'm also considering purchasing some mama cloth as backup for my heavy flow days.
Verdict:  Oh, yes, I am definitely a hippie.

I'm pretty comfortable with my body.  I don't think there's anything wrong with going to nude beaches (RIP Trail 6) and I used to frequent them fairly often.  I don't like regular volleyball either, but nude volleyball has always been tremendously off-putting to me.  But I love how the sun's rays feel on my bare skin.  Being naked and being outside feels good!
Verdict:  Yes, I am a hippie.

I don't worry about "toxins" or "chemicals."  I don't see the benefit of chelation therapy, colonic irrigation/cleansing, enemas, douching, or detox diets.  I don't buy anything organic and I have no problem using fertilizers or pesticides in my own vegetable garden or for my own fruit trees.  I think vaccines have saved far more lives than they have ruined.  I trust modern medicine and I don't put any faith in witch-doctory nonsense.  If you think supplements, vitamins, herbs, tinctures, reflexology, aromatherapy, fill in the blank works, well, I'm glad you do.  But I do not.
Verdict:  I am not a hippie.

I believe having a good and honest chiropractor is a gift.  But I do not believe they are worth much more than adjusting your spine when it's out of alignment.  I do not believe that the alignment (or mis-alignment) of your spine has any impact on whether or not you end up suffering from a major medical illness, such as cancer.  Chiropractors massage your back and neck and that feels good & all, but it doesn't prevent or cure any major diseases.  True story:  I dated a Chiropractor once and it made him mental when I'd ask him to "crack my back" - small wonder that we didn't date long.  Witch-doctor.  And a cheater.
Verdict:  I am not a hippie.

I don't get the whole hybrid vehicle craze.  Driving one means, what?  That you get good mileage in stop & go traffic?  Whoop-de-doo.  Plenty of vehicles get highway mileage that totally smokes that of hybrids and many get comparable city mileage.  Yet hybrid owners frequently act like they are single-handedly saving the planet because they are driving what is is essentially a disposable car.  Um, okay.  Sorry, I love a big & mean V-8 with plenty of ponies under the hood and I hate the pussified look of most hybrids.  I ADORE the look of the new Dodge Challenger and I really like the new Chevy Camaro.  So call me an eco-criminal.
Verdict:  I am not a hippie.

Ever since I turned 18, I've nearly always voted Republican.  As I've matured, I find that I'm far less conservative and far more libertarian.  I don't give a crap what someone does with their own time and their own body.  Wanna do drugs?  Go ahead.  Wanna marry a guy/girl?  I don't care.  Wanna burn the American flag, pray to rocks, howl at the moon?  Go for it!  Wanna take even more tax dollars from hard-working Americans to benefit those who don't pay nearly the same amount into the system?  Now we have a big problem.  Wanna punish people for working hard by taxing their income at a higher rate?  I definitely have a problem with that.  I guess you could say that I'm socially libertarian and fiscally conservative.  Unfortunately, so many politicians who have the nerve to call themselves "conservative" are anything but that.  To paraphrase the late President Ronald Reagan:  I didn't leave my party.  My party left me.
Verdict (based on first sentence):  I am not a hippie.
Verdict (based on entire statement):  I might be a hippie.

Abortion?  I saw and heard my son's heartbeat at my 6-week prenatal checkup.  At just six-weeks, that little one has a heartbeat that is unique.  Like it or not, abortion stops a beating heart.  That makes it murder to me.  However, if a woman can live with the blood of an innocent on her hands, well, I guess that's her choice.  I don't have to live with her choice.  Please don't think that I'm being callous because I'm not.  I feel for women who have had abortions and I'm painfully aware of the emotionally pain they often suffer afterward.  In an ideal world, contraception would be 100% effective (and morning-after pills would be OTC) and abortion would not exist.  But this is not an ideal world.
Verdict:  You know, I'm not sure what my opinion means here?

I don't really care one way or another about male circumcision.  I love my husband, but I've been friendly with a variety of penii in my life.  Um, only three though - haha!  Though the majority were cut, I had a three-year relationship with an uncircumcised man and I've known others.  I don't care if it's a mushroom cap or an anteater, I like them all and they all are unique.  When I learned that I was having a son, I spoke with several men on the matter.  Three men had to have circumcision later in life.  And they thought it was the worst pain imaginable.  Their ages were three, eleven and in their 70s when they had their circumcisions.  I did not make the ultimate decision on whether or not my son was cut.  I don't have a penis and I don't really have an opinion on the matter.  Though I'll share all sorts of personal info about myself, I will not divulge whether or not my son has been circumcised because that's his personal business and it's not my place to share.
Verdict:  I am not a hippie.


I don't like to think that I am a hippie, but I might be.  What's your verdict?