The title is a fair warning, right?
I guess that I'm as qualified as anyone to give sex toy advice and here is mine: Don't waste your time or money on bullets, rabbits, alligators, or butterflies. Go directly to the big gun of quivering pleasure and buy yourself a Hitachi Magic Wand. Click the link to the left and buy it now! NOW, I say!
I've discussed vibrators at length on three or four occasions in the last couple of weeks. I don't know why my friends seem to think that I know about such things, but I suppose that I do so they aren't wrong to seek my opinion. A convo I had on a friend's Facebook wall led to the creation of this post.
My friend and I were discussing the benefit of having a snorgasm before going to bed at night and I inquired if she had a Magic Wand in her sex-toy arsenal. She did not and I suggested that she really should cuddle up with one to experience the "magic" for herself. I told her to beg, borrow, cheat or steal, but find a way to get a Magic Wand of her own. It truly is magic! And I am sure she will send me a thank you note after she receives what is sure to become her new best friend.
Readers of this blog realize that I freely speak my mind on most topics and this will not an exception. This is a post about the best vibrator ever invented. It is the vibrator that I will forever measure all other vibrators against. It is a vibrator that is so wonderful and so fantastically exciting that I rave about it to every woman who asks me about my thoughts on vibrators or sex toys in general. I really can't say enough good things about it. From a personal satisfaction standpoint, it just might be the most important invention ever!
My husband works a lot and, in his absence, the Magic Wand is my magic man. The Wand can make me come within a minute. . .two minutes at the very most! Did you catch that? I can usually get The Big O within a minute when I use the Wand! That's only sixty-freaking-seconds! Oh, Magic Wand, I love you so much and wonder how I ever lived without your delightful ministrations!
Why am I in such a rush to have an orgasm? Because I'm a busy mama and I usually don't have a lot of time to make love to myself. And, really, I see no point in screwing around with a weak vibe that takes ten minutes when I can finish in a tenth of the time.
I know that it looks intimidating and I held off on asking for one for a looong time because I was a little embarrassed to own a vibrator that actually plugs into a wall socket. I mean, that just seems so hard-core to me and I'm kinda traditional & old-fashioned. Looking back now, I can say that the Magic Wand has probably paid for itself in battery savings alone!
I also didn't think that I could handle the 5,000 to 6,000 rpm that the Wand provides. It really does pack quite the punch and the high setting is just too strong for my taste. Of course, if I keep cozying up to the darn thing, I'll probably develop a callus and need the high setting to feel anything down below. Um, that's totally just a joke; all is well with my ladyparts now that the yeasty beasties have been eradicated.
I have found that it's necessary to keep a thick layer of something (a hand towel, for example) between my own skin and the head of the Wand or my girlie bits end up over-stimulated. Yes, that is possible and it doesn't exactly feel good to be engorged down below for hours afterward. From personal experience, I will caution anyone using a Magic Wand to limit themselves to no more than five to seven minutes of direct clitoral playtime. Don't worry, that should be enough time for anyone to peak at least twice.
Remember that, although there are several after-market attachments available for internal use, the Magic Wand itself is for external use only so you will also need to invest in a dildo if you like being penetrated while enjoying a little self-love. Yeah, it sucks to spend more money on another sex-toy when you've already dropped at least $60 on just one vibe. It might make you feel a little better to know that the Magic Wand is truly a double-duty appliance because it not only can make you come within two minutes, but the tennis-ball shaped head can also be used to effectively massage the knots out of any sore muscles in your back.
Besides, I think it is money well spent if it brings such pleasure and joy to your life. Don't you?