Months ago I requested prayers for a young mother. She has a six-year old daughter and she had just delivered her preemie son. The pregnancy stressed her body to the extreme. She ultimately ended up waiting for a heart transplant. This was several months ago. Her survival back then was nothing short of miraculous. Seriously.
I'm sad to report that she has taken a turn for the worst. This week she suffered a brain hemorrhage and is currently in a coma. Her family is understandably devastated.
If you pray, please pray for this family. We're seeking another miracle. A miracle that only God can grant.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Best Movies and Worst Movies
I've been a real buzz-kill the last several days, so I'm going to lighten up a bit. I thought it might be fun to list my favorite movies, my favorite movies that aren't part of a series, and the absolute worst movies I ever had the misfortune to see. I'll also give a brief explanation of why I love or loathe these movies. Break out the popcorn and enjoy!
My Favorite Movies
1. An Officer & a Gentleman - I'm a sucker for an over-the-top romantic ending. Particularly when it seems that all hope is lost. Though Louis Gosset, Jr. was the real eye candy in this movie, Richard Gere was a-okay back then. Understand that this was long before the gerbil got stuck!
2. Rocky IV - It has the best montage ever found in any movie when Rocky is driving in his Lambo. This movie kind of sucks because Apollo dies and he was the most interesting character of the series. But I love this one because Rocky beats the sh*t outta the Russian commie. Plus, I can't help but throw some punches when I watch the Rocky movies and this one really fires me up. On a somewhat related note, I came across an atlas that I had as a child and I wrote "bad guys" on the Soviet Union page. Why yes, I was a child of the cold war.
3. Pride & Prejudice (A & E version) - Love the book, it has what might be the very best opening line in all of literature. Again, I'm a sucker for over-the-top romantic endings when all hope is lost. I also think that Colin Firth nailed Mr. Darcy's cool heat. Yes, it seems contradictory, but he did it.
4. The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars Episode V) - Screw Citizen Kane and his stupid sleigh, this movie has the biggest and most shocking reveal of any movie ever made. It also has Billy Dee Williams living amongst the beautiful Cloud City - rawr!
5. Dirty Harry - Long before the PC-age, there was a gritty realism in films from the 70s and this is a perfect example. The violence wasn't over the top or cartoonish and you believed that these scenes could happen. Harry Callahan ended up dispensing vigilante justice, but at least justice was served. Do watch it, but only if you feel lucky - punk! An interesting side thought: I think this movie was kind of a dig toward SFPD over their inability to capture the Zodiac Killer.
6. The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - Clint Eastwood in Sergio Leone's epic Spaghetti Western masterpiece. Great story, outstanding camera work, an easily recognizable score, and the best Mexican standoff ever found in cinema. Eli Wallach was outstanding in this as well.
7. Star Trek - I think JJ Abrams is a little too fond of lens flare, but the story is fantastic. The actors absolutely nailed their parts, no easy task since we've known the characters for over 40 years. I can't help but tear up at the beginning of this movie every time I see it.
8. Rear Window - Alfred Hitchcock's suspenseful masterpiece. Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly, Raymond Burr, and a possible murder. What's not to like?
9. The Godfather Parts I & II - Yes, I'm aware that these are actually two movies, but I'm counting them as one because you really need to watch one after the other. Al Pacino and James Caan packed some serious heat in those days - and I'm not just talking about firearms! The third one is a total piece of sh*t that you should never watch - there, I just saved you nearly three hours of your life. The Corleone family saga has been compelling to me ever since I first touched Mario Puzo's fantastically engrossing novels.
10. Iron Man - I like superhero movies and this is the superhero movie that I measure all others against now. What's not to like about Tony Stark? He's young, he's handsome, he's wealthy, he's smart, and he's nice to his employees. And he's freaking Iron Man!
My Favorite Movies that Aren't Part of a Series
1. An Officer & a Gentleman - see list above.
2. Dances with Wolves - I'm not really a fan of blondes, but I do have a weakness for Kevin Costner. I watched this in the theater and boo-hooed like a little girl. It's uncharacteristic for me to like a movie that does not have a happy ending, but I do like this one.
3. Pride & Prejudice - see list above.
4. True Lies - Arnold Schwarzenegger blowing up plausibly "middle eastern" terrorists. Funny toss away lines. Lots of explosions. A Harrier jet demonstrating the awesomeness of a vertical take-off. Jamie Lee Curtis sports a smoking body, which she shows off during a somewhat sexy dance. But I still think that she was born a hermaphrodite. Seriously, take away the nice rack and she really does look like a dude.
5. Inglorious Basterds - I don't hate Quentin Tarantino and I don't particularly like him either, but he hit a home run with this movie. Of the Basterds, Brad Pitt gets better looking with age & he's totally believable in this role and Eli Roth is a far better actor than a director. Tarantino tends to allow the camera to linger uncomfortably long on random images, but it works here. And he can always be counted on to have a kick ass soundtrack. Using David Bowie's Cat People (Putting out the Fire) while our protagonist is getting ready to burn a sh*t load of Nazi's seems particularly inspired to me.
6. The Bank Job - Loosely based on a true story. A bunch of nobodies who made an extraordinary film. And they did such a good job of setting the period (clothes, vehicles, hairstyles, language) that you will find it hard to believe that this film wasn't made in the 70s. Highly recommend!
7. Deep Blue Sea - This is probably the crappiest movie on my list, but I do love this movie. It has a trio of super-smart sharks, Thomas Jane, an underwater research facility, Saffron Burrows stripping down to her panties so she can electrocute a shark, and best of all - LL COOL J! I would tune in to watch him read appliance repair manuals, he is just that damn sexy! It also boasts Samuel L. Jackson in an uncharacteristic role. He doesn't even bitch about these m*therf*ckin' sharks in this m*therf*ckin' cage!
8. Rear Window - see list above.
9. Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart at his dark & sexy best. Though Rick didn't win the girl, gave her back actually, he is one of life's winners. He doesn't get to keep the girl, but he keeps his virtue. The iconic "As Time Goes By" is instantly recognizable.
10. It's a Wonderful Life - A tear-jerking feel-good story if ever there was one. Frank Capra knew how to tug on our heartstrings and he did it masterfully in this movie. Who hasn't wished that they had never been born? We're all here for a reason, many reasons, and this movie powerfully illustrates that point.
The Worst Movies Ever Made
Homie Spumoni - Awful. Simply awful. It could have been tremendously funny, but it was painful. I smirked once, but never actually cracked a smile. I needed a healthy dose of mind bleach after watching this dreck.
The Godfather Part III - I still feel cheated because I wasted the money to watch this crap in the theater. This movie wasted nearly three freaking hours of my life. This is a particularly awful movie because the audience was tricked into watching it based on the sheer awesomeness of the first two movies in the series. You can rot, Francis Ford Coppola, for casting your talentless daughter in such a pivotal role. And, damn it, does Al Pacino even bother to read scripts anymore?
Ronin - Another movie that I actually paid to watch. I ordinarily enjoy Robert De Niro. He is an impossibly talented actor. But this is an impossibly unwatchable movie. I think De Niro is another actor who accepts any payday that he's offered.
Bram Stoker's Dracula - Another crapfest from Francis Ford Coppola and yet another that I watched in the theater. Listen up, Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, you should not do period pieces set in a foreign country. You are not convincing and you can't do accents. Gary Oldman had one of the most funny lines in cinema in this movie. . .but I don't think it was supposed to be hilarious. A miss all the way around.
Eyes Wide Shut - Yep, I saw this in the theater too. I realize that what I'm about to say is a total sacrilege to movie fans, but Stanley Kubrick wasn't a great director. He was pretentious and boring. Worse, he apparently believed that every scene he directed was gold because he simply could not edit his sh*tty movies to a reasonable length. This movie is a perfect example of that. Sure, we get to see Nicole Kidman naked on the toilet. And that pretty much sums up my view of this movie.
The Eiger Sanction - Look, I love Trevanian's books. Though Shibumi is my favorite, I was excited to learn that there was a movie of The Eiger Sanction. I must say that I'd rather have Dr. Jonathan Hemlock sanction me than watch this tripe again.
Star Wars Episodes I and II - Yes, these are two movies and, yes, both are terrible. Frankly, the only reason that Episode III isn't on this list is because I was fascinated by the genesis of Darth Vader and I think Ewan McGregor's bewhiskered face is impossibly handsome. Annoying kid, annoying Queen-cum-Senator, annoying (and seemingly neverending) pod race, annoying gungan (JarJar Binks, who else?), annoying ocean planet, annoying romance, annoying Senator-cum-Chancellor, annoying clone war sequences, and annoying clandestine marriage. Though I found Boba Fett's origination somewhat interesting, really, what's to like here? Oh, and for the love of love stories, I hope that George Lucas never again tries to pen romantic dialog. Seriously, is he a pre-pubescent girl? Bleh!
Blue Velvet - David Lynch is overrated and he's considered a genius. Why? Because he's too friggin' lazy to actually make a film that makes sense? Because he has quirky characters? I hate all of his craptastic films, but this is really the worst.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - I guess this was considered groundbreaking back in the day because it was about a white woman who was marrying a black man. Perhaps it disturbed some of the viewing audience. Frankly, race is the least disturbing aspect of this movie. What disturbed me was their shockingly brief courtship. Well, that and why a handsome & accomplished doctor would want such a vacuous ninny for a wife.
Superbad - The title sums it up perfectly.
How about you? What are your favorite and/or least favorite movies?
My Favorite Movies
1. An Officer & a Gentleman - I'm a sucker for an over-the-top romantic ending. Particularly when it seems that all hope is lost. Though Louis Gosset, Jr. was the real eye candy in this movie, Richard Gere was a-okay back then. Understand that this was long before the gerbil got stuck!
2. Rocky IV - It has the best montage ever found in any movie when Rocky is driving in his Lambo. This movie kind of sucks because Apollo dies and he was the most interesting character of the series. But I love this one because Rocky beats the sh*t outta the Russian commie. Plus, I can't help but throw some punches when I watch the Rocky movies and this one really fires me up. On a somewhat related note, I came across an atlas that I had as a child and I wrote "bad guys" on the Soviet Union page. Why yes, I was a child of the cold war.
3. Pride & Prejudice (A & E version) - Love the book, it has what might be the very best opening line in all of literature. Again, I'm a sucker for over-the-top romantic endings when all hope is lost. I also think that Colin Firth nailed Mr. Darcy's cool heat. Yes, it seems contradictory, but he did it.
4. The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars Episode V) - Screw Citizen Kane and his stupid sleigh, this movie has the biggest and most shocking reveal of any movie ever made. It also has Billy Dee Williams living amongst the beautiful Cloud City - rawr!
5. Dirty Harry - Long before the PC-age, there was a gritty realism in films from the 70s and this is a perfect example. The violence wasn't over the top or cartoonish and you believed that these scenes could happen. Harry Callahan ended up dispensing vigilante justice, but at least justice was served. Do watch it, but only if you feel lucky - punk! An interesting side thought: I think this movie was kind of a dig toward SFPD over their inability to capture the Zodiac Killer.
6. The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - Clint Eastwood in Sergio Leone's epic Spaghetti Western masterpiece. Great story, outstanding camera work, an easily recognizable score, and the best Mexican standoff ever found in cinema. Eli Wallach was outstanding in this as well.
7. Star Trek - I think JJ Abrams is a little too fond of lens flare, but the story is fantastic. The actors absolutely nailed their parts, no easy task since we've known the characters for over 40 years. I can't help but tear up at the beginning of this movie every time I see it.
8. Rear Window - Alfred Hitchcock's suspenseful masterpiece. Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly, Raymond Burr, and a possible murder. What's not to like?
9. The Godfather Parts I & II - Yes, I'm aware that these are actually two movies, but I'm counting them as one because you really need to watch one after the other. Al Pacino and James Caan packed some serious heat in those days - and I'm not just talking about firearms! The third one is a total piece of sh*t that you should never watch - there, I just saved you nearly three hours of your life. The Corleone family saga has been compelling to me ever since I first touched Mario Puzo's fantastically engrossing novels.
10. Iron Man - I like superhero movies and this is the superhero movie that I measure all others against now. What's not to like about Tony Stark? He's young, he's handsome, he's wealthy, he's smart, and he's nice to his employees. And he's freaking Iron Man!
My Favorite Movies that Aren't Part of a Series
1. An Officer & a Gentleman - see list above.
2. Dances with Wolves - I'm not really a fan of blondes, but I do have a weakness for Kevin Costner. I watched this in the theater and boo-hooed like a little girl. It's uncharacteristic for me to like a movie that does not have a happy ending, but I do like this one.
3. Pride & Prejudice - see list above.
4. True Lies - Arnold Schwarzenegger blowing up plausibly "middle eastern" terrorists. Funny toss away lines. Lots of explosions. A Harrier jet demonstrating the awesomeness of a vertical take-off. Jamie Lee Curtis sports a smoking body, which she shows off during a somewhat sexy dance. But I still think that she was born a hermaphrodite. Seriously, take away the nice rack and she really does look like a dude.
5. Inglorious Basterds - I don't hate Quentin Tarantino and I don't particularly like him either, but he hit a home run with this movie. Of the Basterds, Brad Pitt gets better looking with age & he's totally believable in this role and Eli Roth is a far better actor than a director. Tarantino tends to allow the camera to linger uncomfortably long on random images, but it works here. And he can always be counted on to have a kick ass soundtrack. Using David Bowie's Cat People (Putting out the Fire) while our protagonist is getting ready to burn a sh*t load of Nazi's seems particularly inspired to me.
6. The Bank Job - Loosely based on a true story. A bunch of nobodies who made an extraordinary film. And they did such a good job of setting the period (clothes, vehicles, hairstyles, language) that you will find it hard to believe that this film wasn't made in the 70s. Highly recommend!
7. Deep Blue Sea - This is probably the crappiest movie on my list, but I do love this movie. It has a trio of super-smart sharks, Thomas Jane, an underwater research facility, Saffron Burrows stripping down to her panties so she can electrocute a shark, and best of all - LL COOL J! I would tune in to watch him read appliance repair manuals, he is just that damn sexy! It also boasts Samuel L. Jackson in an uncharacteristic role. He doesn't even bitch about these m*therf*ckin' sharks in this m*therf*ckin' cage!
8. Rear Window - see list above.
9. Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart at his dark & sexy best. Though Rick didn't win the girl, gave her back actually, he is one of life's winners. He doesn't get to keep the girl, but he keeps his virtue. The iconic "As Time Goes By" is instantly recognizable.
10. It's a Wonderful Life - A tear-jerking feel-good story if ever there was one. Frank Capra knew how to tug on our heartstrings and he did it masterfully in this movie. Who hasn't wished that they had never been born? We're all here for a reason, many reasons, and this movie powerfully illustrates that point.
The Worst Movies Ever Made
Homie Spumoni - Awful. Simply awful. It could have been tremendously funny, but it was painful. I smirked once, but never actually cracked a smile. I needed a healthy dose of mind bleach after watching this dreck.
The Godfather Part III - I still feel cheated because I wasted the money to watch this crap in the theater. This movie wasted nearly three freaking hours of my life. This is a particularly awful movie because the audience was tricked into watching it based on the sheer awesomeness of the first two movies in the series. You can rot, Francis Ford Coppola, for casting your talentless daughter in such a pivotal role. And, damn it, does Al Pacino even bother to read scripts anymore?
Ronin - Another movie that I actually paid to watch. I ordinarily enjoy Robert De Niro. He is an impossibly talented actor. But this is an impossibly unwatchable movie. I think De Niro is another actor who accepts any payday that he's offered.
Bram Stoker's Dracula - Another crapfest from Francis Ford Coppola and yet another that I watched in the theater. Listen up, Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, you should not do period pieces set in a foreign country. You are not convincing and you can't do accents. Gary Oldman had one of the most funny lines in cinema in this movie. . .but I don't think it was supposed to be hilarious. A miss all the way around.
Eyes Wide Shut - Yep, I saw this in the theater too. I realize that what I'm about to say is a total sacrilege to movie fans, but Stanley Kubrick wasn't a great director. He was pretentious and boring. Worse, he apparently believed that every scene he directed was gold because he simply could not edit his sh*tty movies to a reasonable length. This movie is a perfect example of that. Sure, we get to see Nicole Kidman naked on the toilet. And that pretty much sums up my view of this movie.
The Eiger Sanction - Look, I love Trevanian's books. Though Shibumi is my favorite, I was excited to learn that there was a movie of The Eiger Sanction. I must say that I'd rather have Dr. Jonathan Hemlock sanction me than watch this tripe again.
Star Wars Episodes I and II - Yes, these are two movies and, yes, both are terrible. Frankly, the only reason that Episode III isn't on this list is because I was fascinated by the genesis of Darth Vader and I think Ewan McGregor's bewhiskered face is impossibly handsome. Annoying kid, annoying Queen-cum-Senator, annoying (and seemingly neverending) pod race, annoying gungan (JarJar Binks, who else?), annoying ocean planet, annoying romance, annoying Senator-cum-Chancellor, annoying clone war sequences, and annoying clandestine marriage. Though I found Boba Fett's origination somewhat interesting, really, what's to like here? Oh, and for the love of love stories, I hope that George Lucas never again tries to pen romantic dialog. Seriously, is he a pre-pubescent girl? Bleh!
Blue Velvet - David Lynch is overrated and he's considered a genius. Why? Because he's too friggin' lazy to actually make a film that makes sense? Because he has quirky characters? I hate all of his craptastic films, but this is really the worst.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - I guess this was considered groundbreaking back in the day because it was about a white woman who was marrying a black man. Perhaps it disturbed some of the viewing audience. Frankly, race is the least disturbing aspect of this movie. What disturbed me was their shockingly brief courtship. Well, that and why a handsome & accomplished doctor would want such a vacuous ninny for a wife.
Superbad - The title sums it up perfectly.
How about you? What are your favorite and/or least favorite movies?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Is It Rock-Bottom Yet?
Apparently not.
How do you save someone who doesn't even recognize that they need salvation? I'm not talking about religion here, I literally mean that their life is in danger because of their actions. Yet they still can't admit that they have a problem. Even worse, they blame their family for the situation that they have found themselves in. A situation that they have entirely brought upon themselves.
I realize that rock-bottom is different for everyone, but I would think that most people would have stopped fighting by now. Actually, just fighting the current circumstances would be preferable. This individual is making their situation far, far worse than it has to be. And it doesn't appear that they're going to straighten up anytime soon.
At this point, this individual seems content to terrorize their own family. Making serious threats and accusations. Directing the most evil vitriol toward the family who they had always loved and cherished. The family who still, even with all the pain and havoc that addiction has wrought, the family who still loves and cares about this individual.
Dammit all so much! It's like we don't even know who this person is anymore! Who has this person become? No one who I would ever recognize in a million years.
I've had an incredibly difficult day. The last several weeks, months actually, have been emotionally draining. Yesterday was pretty damn bad, but I think today takes the taco.
I am angry, appalled, bewildered, frightened, frustrated, scared, stunned, and upset by this most recent turn of events. I think I'm mostly angry and frightened. Maybe stunned too.
I have so many emotions warring inside myself that I can hardly get my thoughts together. Goodness knows that I'm having trouble writing my thoughts. I'm sure I'll read this post at another time and think it's a jumbled mess of words. Typing through tears has never been my forte.
My heart is just breaking for this person and their family. I'm afraid that I don't see a happy outcome. Even the best case scenario in my mind can't really be called a happy outcome because an entire family has been so completely wounded.
I've witnessed an absolute tragedy. It took several years to unfold, but it is tragic nonetheless. And I hate that I didn't do something, couldn't do anything, to stop it from happening. It's a true nightmare.
One person's addiction. It's hurting so many people. More than anything, it's so damn sad.
How do you save someone who doesn't even recognize that they need salvation? I'm not talking about religion here, I literally mean that their life is in danger because of their actions. Yet they still can't admit that they have a problem. Even worse, they blame their family for the situation that they have found themselves in. A situation that they have entirely brought upon themselves.
I realize that rock-bottom is different for everyone, but I would think that most people would have stopped fighting by now. Actually, just fighting the current circumstances would be preferable. This individual is making their situation far, far worse than it has to be. And it doesn't appear that they're going to straighten up anytime soon.
At this point, this individual seems content to terrorize their own family. Making serious threats and accusations. Directing the most evil vitriol toward the family who they had always loved and cherished. The family who still, even with all the pain and havoc that addiction has wrought, the family who still loves and cares about this individual.
Dammit all so much! It's like we don't even know who this person is anymore! Who has this person become? No one who I would ever recognize in a million years.
I've had an incredibly difficult day. The last several weeks, months actually, have been emotionally draining. Yesterday was pretty damn bad, but I think today takes the taco.
I am angry, appalled, bewildered, frightened, frustrated, scared, stunned, and upset by this most recent turn of events. I think I'm mostly angry and frightened. Maybe stunned too.
I have so many emotions warring inside myself that I can hardly get my thoughts together. Goodness knows that I'm having trouble writing my thoughts. I'm sure I'll read this post at another time and think it's a jumbled mess of words. Typing through tears has never been my forte.
My heart is just breaking for this person and their family. I'm afraid that I don't see a happy outcome. Even the best case scenario in my mind can't really be called a happy outcome because an entire family has been so completely wounded.
I've witnessed an absolute tragedy. It took several years to unfold, but it is tragic nonetheless. And I hate that I didn't do something, couldn't do anything, to stop it from happening. It's a true nightmare.
One person's addiction. It's hurting so many people. More than anything, it's so damn sad.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Addiction Hurts More Than the Addict
I feel like addiction has always been in my life. I have had close relationships with addicts at various stages in my life. From very early childhood to adolescence to adulthood, there has nearly always been an addict in my life.
Thanks to addiction, I have cried oceans of tears. I have worried, I have feared. I have bargained and I have begged. I have pleaded, I have prayed.
More than anything though, I have wept. Wept for the damage that the addict is doing. Wept over my helplessness to remove the addiction from their life. Wept in frustration that someone I love (or loved) is powerless to fight a substance that beckons them.
Addiction is seductive and it doesn't take no for an answer. It lures the addict back with promises of good times. Of course, those good times are increasingly hollow and eventually fade away altogether.
Addiction is a thief. It steals the addict's health, time, and money. Even worse, it steals the very soul of the addict. They become someone their own family doesn't recognize. And, if they live long enough, the addict wouldn't even recognize themselves.
Addiction consumes the heart and mind of the addict. The addict eventually loves their addiction more than their own family. More than themselves.
I hate addiction. I just hate it. I hate what it does to the addict and I hate the pain it inflicts upon their family. It hurts friends and family so much more than the addict could ever guess.
I'm very concerned about someone I love. I have maintained their anonymity out of consideration and respect, but I'm worried. They refuse to participate in the program that they are currently enrolled in and they are growing increasingly combative. Please take a moment to say a prayer that this individual can break free from the bondage of addiction and give this person's family the strength to stand firm in demanding sobriety. With God, all things are possible. Please ask, and continue to ask, for His help with this painful situation.
Happy Easter. . .He is Risen!
Thanks to addiction, I have cried oceans of tears. I have worried, I have feared. I have bargained and I have begged. I have pleaded, I have prayed.
More than anything though, I have wept. Wept for the damage that the addict is doing. Wept over my helplessness to remove the addiction from their life. Wept in frustration that someone I love (or loved) is powerless to fight a substance that beckons them.
Addiction is seductive and it doesn't take no for an answer. It lures the addict back with promises of good times. Of course, those good times are increasingly hollow and eventually fade away altogether.
Addiction is a thief. It steals the addict's health, time, and money. Even worse, it steals the very soul of the addict. They become someone their own family doesn't recognize. And, if they live long enough, the addict wouldn't even recognize themselves.
Addiction consumes the heart and mind of the addict. The addict eventually loves their addiction more than their own family. More than themselves.
I hate addiction. I just hate it. I hate what it does to the addict and I hate the pain it inflicts upon their family. It hurts friends and family so much more than the addict could ever guess.
I'm very concerned about someone I love. I have maintained their anonymity out of consideration and respect, but I'm worried. They refuse to participate in the program that they are currently enrolled in and they are growing increasingly combative. Please take a moment to say a prayer that this individual can break free from the bondage of addiction and give this person's family the strength to stand firm in demanding sobriety. With God, all things are possible. Please ask, and continue to ask, for His help with this painful situation.
Happy Easter. . .He is Risen!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
SCUBA = Stupid Crap Unless Being Attacked
We're celebrating Easter tomorrow with good friends who we haven't seen in far too long. They are a great couple who have had to suffer through the worst heartbreak I can ever imagine. I'm really looking forward to having some fun with them tomorrow.
I'm pretty open to new things. I'm willing to try damn near anything at least once. I'm even willing to try things that I know I won't like. Take SCUBA, for instance.
Our friends met while diving. He was a divemaster at the time and she was a student. Their story is pretty interesting and they enjoyed diving together for a long time. His son was my husband's diving partner. Our friend joined his son and my husband on the occasion of their last dive. . .
Anyway, I'm not really a fan of SCUBA diving. I kind of feel that I would have been born with gills if I was meant to breathe underwater. I don't even like to put my face in water; I won't even do that in the bathtub. But my ex-husband was really, really into diving, so I gave diving a shot.
What a freaking mistake!
Though I wasn't yet certified, he told me I should purchase all of my own gear. For those not in the know, SCUBA gear is freaking expensive. But he was hassling me, so I dropped a mint just to shut him the eff up.
Then we started taking classes. He was already certified, but he wanted to take the classes with me. He knew that I don't like my head submerged. He knew that I'm not very comfortable in open water; frankly, I'm not terribly fond of being in swimming pools either. He knew that death by drowning and death by fire are my two big fears. I'm also prone to sea-sickness. All in all, I'm not really someone who would enjoy diving. But I tried it.
Our classes were relatively uneventful, but Mr. Know-It-All sometimes would advise me to do something that ran counter to what our instructor said. Needless to say, I wasn't particularly comfortable with my dive partner disregarding what the instructor said to do. But whatever.
So we reached the point where we only had two dives left to do. Jerkoff swam away from me while I was, in my mind, being attacked by kelp. I finally found my way out and surfaced. I went back to the boat, wondering where A-hole was. When he finally saw fit to rejoin the group and board the boat, he had the nerve to say that he was in trouble and I was nowhere around to help.
I should repeat that he was already a certified diver; he'd been diving for years. He was very comfortable underwater. And, most importantly for the purpose of this story, HE SWAM AWAY FROM ME!!!
Years later, I still feel completely pissed at this. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life as I did in those frantic moments. Hearing my own heart pound in my head, sucking air down so fast that my tank was nearly empty by the time I boarded the boat.
Feeling attacked, I gave as good as I got. We created quite the spectacle. The other students averted their gazes or went below deck. Our instructor finally grabbed the two of us and took us aside. He chewed us both out for leaving our partner. Then he told us to straighten up before our final dive or there would be no final dive.
I took off my suit and went below deck. For me, there would never be another dive again.
Was I wrong? Perhaps. I just knew that I would feel uncomfortable with him underwater. I was sure that he would get behind me, close off my air, hold me down, easily overpower me, and drown me.
SCUBA. . .the only way I'll ever do it again is if my very life is in danger and it is my only escape.
Oh, and when we divorced, the creep kept all of my gear. Prick!
I'm pretty open to new things. I'm willing to try damn near anything at least once. I'm even willing to try things that I know I won't like. Take SCUBA, for instance.
Our friends met while diving. He was a divemaster at the time and she was a student. Their story is pretty interesting and they enjoyed diving together for a long time. His son was my husband's diving partner. Our friend joined his son and my husband on the occasion of their last dive. . .
Anyway, I'm not really a fan of SCUBA diving. I kind of feel that I would have been born with gills if I was meant to breathe underwater. I don't even like to put my face in water; I won't even do that in the bathtub. But my ex-husband was really, really into diving, so I gave diving a shot.
What a freaking mistake!
Though I wasn't yet certified, he told me I should purchase all of my own gear. For those not in the know, SCUBA gear is freaking expensive. But he was hassling me, so I dropped a mint just to shut him the eff up.
Then we started taking classes. He was already certified, but he wanted to take the classes with me. He knew that I don't like my head submerged. He knew that I'm not very comfortable in open water; frankly, I'm not terribly fond of being in swimming pools either. He knew that death by drowning and death by fire are my two big fears. I'm also prone to sea-sickness. All in all, I'm not really someone who would enjoy diving. But I tried it.
Our classes were relatively uneventful, but Mr. Know-It-All sometimes would advise me to do something that ran counter to what our instructor said. Needless to say, I wasn't particularly comfortable with my dive partner disregarding what the instructor said to do. But whatever.
So we reached the point where we only had two dives left to do. Jerkoff swam away from me while I was, in my mind, being attacked by kelp. I finally found my way out and surfaced. I went back to the boat, wondering where A-hole was. When he finally saw fit to rejoin the group and board the boat, he had the nerve to say that he was in trouble and I was nowhere around to help.
I should repeat that he was already a certified diver; he'd been diving for years. He was very comfortable underwater. And, most importantly for the purpose of this story, HE SWAM AWAY FROM ME!!!
Years later, I still feel completely pissed at this. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life as I did in those frantic moments. Hearing my own heart pound in my head, sucking air down so fast that my tank was nearly empty by the time I boarded the boat.
Feeling attacked, I gave as good as I got. We created quite the spectacle. The other students averted their gazes or went below deck. Our instructor finally grabbed the two of us and took us aside. He chewed us both out for leaving our partner. Then he told us to straighten up before our final dive or there would be no final dive.
I took off my suit and went below deck. For me, there would never be another dive again.
Was I wrong? Perhaps. I just knew that I would feel uncomfortable with him underwater. I was sure that he would get behind me, close off my air, hold me down, easily overpower me, and drown me.
SCUBA. . .the only way I'll ever do it again is if my very life is in danger and it is my only escape.
Oh, and when we divorced, the creep kept all of my gear. Prick!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Ah, Memories
I was reminiscing about good times while I was in the shower this evening. Perhaps it was the warm steam swirling around me? Or maybe it was the deliciously silky feel of my hair mask? Whatever it was that stimulated my memory, I thought about the early days of my relationship with my husband as I massaged my scalp.
We began dating after I'd signed my final divorce documents. I wasn't technically divorced because I was still counting down California's minimum six months + one day for a dissolution, but I was darn close. Anyway, I felt it was morally acceptable to begin dating because I'd already signed the final papers.
Though we have a 19-year age difference, we clicked from the start. I found him handsome (I think he looks like Kevin Costner - except my husband still has all of his own hair!), funny, charming, witty, and incredibly sexy. We went to dinner, strolled the beach, and had cocktails on our first date. The date went so well that it lasted until the next morning. Like I said, we clicked from the start.
It wasn't long after that first date that my husband & I exchanged "I love you's." We were sitting on the back porch. Back then there was nothing on the porch - we sat on the ground. My husband's GSD, Boris, loved when we sat on the back porch because we often had some sort of alcoholic beverage with us. Boris was a typical
German Shepherd, very sure-footed. But he became the clumsiest dog ever when he noticed that there was beer around and he'd "accidentally" knock over the mug o' suds so that he could get away with lapping up the hoppy goodness. We loved that good dog and he left us far too soon.
So we were sitting on his back porch and I said my husband's name and shyly asked, "Do you love me?" in a small voice. I was so relieved when he smiled and said that of course he loved me. He added that he had loved me almost from the moment he met me. Oh, how my heart soared to hear those beautiful words!
There have been so many more lovely memories in the last 7 years. The way that he gave his time, energy, & talent to help remodel my condo. How he patiently held me as I sobbed on the day that California officially recognized that my first marriage was over. The time he sent for me while he was in Vegas for the weekend because he missed me and wanted to see me. His ultra-casual marriage proposal and my ultra-casual acceptance. Our laid-back and fun wedding and honeymoon. His tender care on a wild night in DC. The first time I mentioned that I might be knocked up. The pregnancy test debacle: negative, positive, negative, positive, positive! My thumbs up to him at that final test. The first time we saw and heard our baby's heartbeat - unbelievably at only six-weeks gestation! The first time we saw our son. . .
I look forward to countless more precious memories to cherish in the coming years.
We began dating after I'd signed my final divorce documents. I wasn't technically divorced because I was still counting down California's minimum six months + one day for a dissolution, but I was darn close. Anyway, I felt it was morally acceptable to begin dating because I'd already signed the final papers.
Though we have a 19-year age difference, we clicked from the start. I found him handsome (I think he looks like Kevin Costner - except my husband still has all of his own hair!), funny, charming, witty, and incredibly sexy. We went to dinner, strolled the beach, and had cocktails on our first date. The date went so well that it lasted until the next morning. Like I said, we clicked from the start.
It wasn't long after that first date that my husband & I exchanged "I love you's." We were sitting on the back porch. Back then there was nothing on the porch - we sat on the ground. My husband's GSD, Boris, loved when we sat on the back porch because we often had some sort of alcoholic beverage with us. Boris was a typical
German Shepherd, very sure-footed. But he became the clumsiest dog ever when he noticed that there was beer around and he'd "accidentally" knock over the mug o' suds so that he could get away with lapping up the hoppy goodness. We loved that good dog and he left us far too soon.
So we were sitting on his back porch and I said my husband's name and shyly asked, "Do you love me?" in a small voice. I was so relieved when he smiled and said that of course he loved me. He added that he had loved me almost from the moment he met me. Oh, how my heart soared to hear those beautiful words!
There have been so many more lovely memories in the last 7 years. The way that he gave his time, energy, & talent to help remodel my condo. How he patiently held me as I sobbed on the day that California officially recognized that my first marriage was over. The time he sent for me while he was in Vegas for the weekend because he missed me and wanted to see me. His ultra-casual marriage proposal and my ultra-casual acceptance. Our laid-back and fun wedding and honeymoon. His tender care on a wild night in DC. The first time I mentioned that I might be knocked up. The pregnancy test debacle: negative, positive, negative, positive, positive! My thumbs up to him at that final test. The first time we saw and heard our baby's heartbeat - unbelievably at only six-weeks gestation! The first time we saw our son. . .
I look forward to countless more precious memories to cherish in the coming years.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Now I Believe that Demonic Influences Exist
I spent many years running from God. I filled the God-shaped hole in my heart with all sorts of unpleasant substances and I chose to embrace substitute religions in my quest to find spiritual truth. I was an angry young woman for a very long time, prone to fits of rage that would burst forth with very little provocation.
I didn't just reject God, I was openly hostile toward Him. I actively tried to debunk the "lies of man" contained in the Bible. Being full of post-feminist bullshit, I ignorantly maintained that Christianity subjugates women.
I became a Christian in my mid-20s. I was taking a class about the Gospel. I was so sure that I'd learn even more about it and have further evidence to back my claims that Christianity was an emotional crutch used by the weak-minded and intellectually inferior masses. I sound like I was a real treat to hang with, huh?
Long story short, I converted while in that class. I've regretted many things in my life, but I've never regretted giving my soul to Christ. I believe the Bible. I believe that it is the inspired Word of God.
But there are certain things in the Bible that left me cold. Demonic possession, for one. I can believe that such things happened in biblical times, but it was hard for me to believe that demonic influences still exist today. However, a couple of things have changed my mind on the topic.
I have friends who are missionaries in the Dominican Republic. They were some of the first people who learned that I was pregnant with my son. They are two very sweet, down to earth people. They are very faithful and loving. Most importantly, they don't seem prone to exaggeration.
I've been following their blog about their seed-planting in the DR for over a year now. It's informative and immensely helpful to know what specific prayers they need. As they like to remind us in e-mails, we are holding the rope while they go down into the pit.
In their blog, he detailed an encounter with a young man. It was an odd encounter from the beginning. As I read the post, I realized that there was a spiritual battle going on for this individual's soul. When my friend asked to whom he was speaking, the demon identified himself by name. I couldn't help but recall Jesus' encounter with Legion.
I'd easily dismiss this encounter if my friend was only looking for something interesting to post, but I don't believe that was his purpose. He's not a writer, he's not crafting a fine story. He wants to communicate the real needs that he needs addressed through prayer. I believe that he did have a confrontation with a demon and that this young man was being tormented by a very real force of evil.
The other thing that makes me believe in demonic possession is a little hard to explain because I must maintain some anonymity, but try to follow me. Abusing mind-altering substances opens yourself to demonic influence. I'm not saying having a few drinks means that you are under demonic control, but I am saying that consistently overindulging might mean that something else is at work in your life.
I know someone who has been suffering with addiction for several years. This individual was someone who was generous, industrious, and always in control of themselves. Addiction has left this individual's life in shambles. Once the hardest-working individual I have ever known, now this individual can hardly write their own name. This individual is physically abusive toward themselves, this individual speaks to people/things that aren't visible or just don't exist, their personality has completely changed - even when they aren't under the influence. This individual has become unbearably unpleasant to be around because all they seem to care about is remaining under the influence. I wonder now, under the influence of what exactly?
I believe in demonic possession. I think I've witnessed it with my own two eyes. . .
I didn't just reject God, I was openly hostile toward Him. I actively tried to debunk the "lies of man" contained in the Bible. Being full of post-feminist bullshit, I ignorantly maintained that Christianity subjugates women.
I became a Christian in my mid-20s. I was taking a class about the Gospel. I was so sure that I'd learn even more about it and have further evidence to back my claims that Christianity was an emotional crutch used by the weak-minded and intellectually inferior masses. I sound like I was a real treat to hang with, huh?
Long story short, I converted while in that class. I've regretted many things in my life, but I've never regretted giving my soul to Christ. I believe the Bible. I believe that it is the inspired Word of God.
But there are certain things in the Bible that left me cold. Demonic possession, for one. I can believe that such things happened in biblical times, but it was hard for me to believe that demonic influences still exist today. However, a couple of things have changed my mind on the topic.
I have friends who are missionaries in the Dominican Republic. They were some of the first people who learned that I was pregnant with my son. They are two very sweet, down to earth people. They are very faithful and loving. Most importantly, they don't seem prone to exaggeration.
I've been following their blog about their seed-planting in the DR for over a year now. It's informative and immensely helpful to know what specific prayers they need. As they like to remind us in e-mails, we are holding the rope while they go down into the pit.
In their blog, he detailed an encounter with a young man. It was an odd encounter from the beginning. As I read the post, I realized that there was a spiritual battle going on for this individual's soul. When my friend asked to whom he was speaking, the demon identified himself by name. I couldn't help but recall Jesus' encounter with Legion.
I'd easily dismiss this encounter if my friend was only looking for something interesting to post, but I don't believe that was his purpose. He's not a writer, he's not crafting a fine story. He wants to communicate the real needs that he needs addressed through prayer. I believe that he did have a confrontation with a demon and that this young man was being tormented by a very real force of evil.
The other thing that makes me believe in demonic possession is a little hard to explain because I must maintain some anonymity, but try to follow me. Abusing mind-altering substances opens yourself to demonic influence. I'm not saying having a few drinks means that you are under demonic control, but I am saying that consistently overindulging might mean that something else is at work in your life.
I know someone who has been suffering with addiction for several years. This individual was someone who was generous, industrious, and always in control of themselves. Addiction has left this individual's life in shambles. Once the hardest-working individual I have ever known, now this individual can hardly write their own name. This individual is physically abusive toward themselves, this individual speaks to people/things that aren't visible or just don't exist, their personality has completely changed - even when they aren't under the influence. This individual has become unbearably unpleasant to be around because all they seem to care about is remaining under the influence. I wonder now, under the influence of what exactly?
I believe in demonic possession. I think I've witnessed it with my own two eyes. . .
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