They're NOT Your Boobs So You Can Just Suck It!

I recently read an article about so-called extended breastfeeding and it got me thinking.  Dangerous, I know.  But it made me wonder why it is that people (even pediatricians if you can believe it!) imply that breastmilk is no longer beneficial to the child once they hit their first birthday. Why would it be so wonderful (and it is) in infancy and be of no consequence (or a detriment) in toddlerhood?? 

It just makes no sense and it aggravates me to no end that so many believe that one-year is the maximum length that a child should receive breastmilk.  I know that I fully weaned my son at just at 13-months, but I have often felt that I should have let him nurse until at least around 18-months.  Yes, I believe that I weaned him too young.  After all that I've learned about breastmilk and nursing in general, I would go so far as to say that I feel that one-year is the bare minimum that I would want to nurse a child of mine. 

Okay, I heard the groans from some of you.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it out of your system so you can pay attention and you might actually learn something or, at the very least, get a little food for thought.  Here, I'll write what you're thinking so we can get on with it:  that Heather is such a hippie (guilty!), she's just trying to keep her son a baby (uh, okay?), I suppose she would have nursed him through High School (no way), what pervert wants to nurse that long (you need to look in the mirror to see the perv), doesn't she know it's not healthy to nurse that long - SCREECH - Stop!  This is the one that boggles my head.

I have found that even people who support breastfeeding for six-months or one-year will balk at nursing that goes beyond the first birthday.  I'm sad to say that even pediatricians are guilty of using this faulty logic.  What I don't understand is how someone can believe that breastfeeding is important for an infant, but somehow also think that the milky fountains should be shut off as soon as the child hits toddlerhood.  What do they think happens?  The milk is made fresh throughout the day so it isn't like it spoils or goes bad.  It certainly isn't unhealthy from a nutritional standpoint (and oftentimes is the only nourishment that the child will accept while ill or feeling unwell) so what exactly is so "wrong" about breastfeeding after the birthday cake has been enjoyed?

Does 18-months sound too "old" for breastfeeding?  Really?  One and one-half years is too old?!  Seriously?  I suppose it might seem that way to some, but understand I'm coming from the viewpoint that breastfeeding is the normal and natural way to feed, soothe, comfort, and generally "mother" our children and a 1 1/2-year old child is still very much a young toddler who needs all of those things.  I know it's popular to believe so, but our children really aren't mini-adults who need to be pushed to grow up too soon.

What's that you say?  It weirds you out to see a walking toddler suck milk from the source?  Why would that weird anyone out?  Breasts may well be fun in the sack, keep crumbs off your lap, and help enhance sweaters, but they do definitely serve a dual purpose and producing milk for human children is the reason our breasts are equipped with milk ducts.  Why keep breasts in only the "sexy" compartment when they are also designed to fill another purpose?  Don't hold back the ta-tas, they are incredibly versatile and really can fill many roles!

Sure, breasts are hot.  But breastfeeding isn't sexy, it's simply feeding a child.  If you wouldn't be disgusted or offended by a mother bottlefeeding, you shouldn't feel either negative emotion about a mother breastfeeding.

Interestingly enough, I don't have a lot of breast tissue, but they are sensitive and I'll admit that I did worry about whether or not I'd get "turned on" when my baby nursed.  I shouldn't have wasted my time on such a dopey thought.  Seriously, it turned out that breastfeeding is probably the least sexy thing I've ever done.  Let's start with the fact that I cried when I tried to nurse in the early weeks because it hurt so darn bad!  Thanks to that awful early experience, my advice to everyone is to see a lactation consultant while still in the hospital if at all possible because I suffered needlessly for far too long!  Once the initial seven-weeks of torture was over, breastfeeding was easy and awesome though it wasn't remotely sexy.  Sex literally was the furthest thing from my mind when my son nursed, but nipples dripping (okay, spraying) milk all over the place just doesn't do it for me so I acknowledge that your results may vary.

If you have an issue with seeing a young toddler breastfeeding, well, you're the one with the issue - not the mother and certainly not the child.  You can just suck it if you don't like it. . .just don't suck them or you'll likely get a knuckle sandwich courtesy of mama.

* * *

The benefits of nursing your child until one year of age are well documented and known to most of the general public.  I thought it would be good to list out the benefits of so-called extended nursing (that is, nursing that goes beyond one year) for your baby:

- Nutrition.  Breastmilk is still nutritious and healthy for a toddler.  Sure, it's composition is different than what you'd produce for a one-month old, but a toddler is also eating solids and doesn't require breastmilk for all nutrients.  Understand that this does not mean there aren't any nutrients in breastmilk (honestly, that's about the most absurd thing I've ever heard), it just means that the toddler also gets nutrients from other sources.
- Decreased risk of illness.  This is huge to me because sick kids aren't any fun!  Breastmilk contains anti-bodies that are very beneficial to the child's immune system.  In fact, some of these immunological factors are actually increased in the 2nd year of lactation until weaning occurs!  Breastfed children suffer far fewer colds and illnesses than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.
- Reduced allergies.  Breastfed children as a whole have far fewer allergies than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.  I've read that this is due to having a healthier gut lining, but haven't really researched it as allergies don't run in our families.
- Confidence & Independence.  Seems counterintuitive to say that extended nursing will raise a more confident child, but studies have shown that it does because that child's needs have been lovingly met and the child received plenty of consistent nurturing.  Is it possible to do both without breastfeeding?  Sure, but whipping out the twins is easy, natural, and normal and I'm all about doing whatever's easy, natural, and normal.
- It's encouraged by experts.  Don't just take it from a middle-aged suburban blogger, listen to the experts.  Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding beyond age one for the health benefits to baby and mama.  Indeed, WHO recommends it continue beyond age two! 
- Convenience.  Unlike bottles and sippy cups of formula or cow milk, your breastmilk is always there, always safe to consume, always ready for your child.
- It's comforting.  Toddlerhood can be a scary time for a child and most don't have the ability to express their concerns and fears so they throw tantrums.  Countless breastfeeding mothers can attest to the fact that a little comfort nursing can head off most tantrums and soothe even the most upset child.


In case the benefits to your child aren't enough, what about the benefits afforded you by nursing?  This list isn't specific to extended nursing. . .breastfeeding for any length of time is beneficial.

- It's easier.  Waking up at all hours of the day and night to prepare and clean bottles & nipples wasn't very appealing to me.  What could be easier than putting the baby to breast and then putting them back to bed?  One could argue that co-sleeping mothers have it even easier as they don't even have to get out of bed.  Heck, I didn't want to deal with bottles during waking hours either!
- Easier weight loss after pregnancy.  What woman hasn't lamented how they looked after delivery?  The body expects the mother to breastfeed and stores up fat to help facilitate breastfeeding.  The easiest way to move that fat off your body is to breastfeed!  Most, not all, women find that breastfeeding makes post-partum weight loss extremely easy.  Note that this isn't a green light to chow down on double cheeseburgers or you might find that you're just as heavy or heavier as when you were pregnant!  Remember that you only need around 300 extra calories each day while breastfeeding.
- Lowered risk of many cancers.  Breast cancer risk in particular is lowered through breastfeeding, but ovarian, uterine, and endometrial cancers are also lower in women who breastfed their children.
- Delayed return of menses and ovulation/fertility.  This is primarily true for exclusive breastfeeding (ZERO supplementation with solids or formula), which is recommended for the first six months of an infant's life anyway, but most women find that menses doesn't return for a loooong time if they are committed to nursing.  While it's possible that one may ovulate without experiencing a period, it's most often true that you aren't ovulating if you aren't getting periods.  Of course, you should use a backup form of birth control if you aren't exclusively breastfeeding.
- Increased emotional well being.  Prolactin, the hormone that helps produce milk, naturally promotes relaxation and relieves stress.  Speaking for myself, I always felt the world simply fell away when I was nursing my son and sometimes would be shocked to discover that I had actually dozed during the nursing session.  Given my history with insomnia, the extra rest was awesome!  Oxytocin, stimulated during let down, is called the bonding hormone because it inspires loving feelings.  I lost count of the number of times that I felt my heart would burst out of my chest with love and joy for my son while nursing.  Sure, my love burns for my son like the fire of a thousand suns, but my feelings were somehow magnified by the oxytocin while nursing.

* * *

A friend of mine summed it up perfectly when she said, I'll paraphrase, if it's not your kid or your boobs why do you care?

My Favorite Tools for Breastfeeding

I was thinking about breastfeeding the other day and wanted to write a post about my disappointment over people's reaction toward so-called extended breastfeeding, but somehow it became a post about the items I really appreciated having when I was breastfeeding my son.  Perhaps you have something to add to my list?

My initial instinct is to just write "BREASTS" and call this post complete, but that wouldn't be the truth because I found that I needed more than just my breasts to have a successful nursing relationship with my son.  So here's a list of my favorite items that helped me nurse my lil' guy until he was right around 13-months old.  I tried to list things in order of importance, but realize that doing so didn't really work out that way for this list.


The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins - This book was like my breastfeeding bible.  It was so helpful every step of the way!  Think your baby isn't getting enough milk because they nurse a lot?  It's covered.  Think something is wrong with your milk because your baby is fussy or spits up a lot?  It's covered.  Think maybe you should wean because baby is "old enough" or you're too tired to nurse?  It's covered.  I referred to it so often that I am kicking myself for lending it out because I never got it back and I know that I'll want it again when this baby is born.

My Brest Friend - This nursing pillow was my absolute favorite for the first several months of my son's life because it made it so much easier to get him in a good position for nursing.  I really struggled with breastfeeding while in the hospital and part of it was because it felt that he was resting directly on my incision whenever he was nursing. . .thankfully, I had this nursing pillow at home!  It has a wrap-around design that stays put until you're ready to remove it (I actually was able to walk around and nurse only because of this pillow) and it was almost like a firm shelf that he rested on right under my breasts.  It also has a handy little pocket for stuff like nursing pads, lip balm, and nipple lanolin.

Boppy - This crescent-shaped nursing pillow is much more popular than My Brest Friend, but I didn't find it helpful at all until my son was around six-months old and older.  It was nice to have at that point, but I'm afraid that I may not have continued nursing if it had been the only nursing pillow available for me to use in his first six months of life.  I guess I'm saying that you might want to save the Boppy until baby is a bit older or you might find nursing somewhat discouraging.

Lansinoh Lanolin - I never used any other nipple treatments because this worked so well for me.  It kept my nipples supple and helped heal the wounds that I received to my nipples in the very beginning. 

Lansinoh Ultra Thin Nursing Pads - I had massive over-supply and I leaked constantly so I tried a lot of different nursing pads and these ones are THE BEST if you're a heavy producer.  These nursing pads held so much leaking milk that they quite literally would make a "squish" sound the few times that they hit my tiled floor.  Though the pads were totally saturated, I was dry!  Bonus: They did not leave any little fibers on my breasts like I experienced with other brands.

Lansinoh Ultra Soft Nursing Pads - These were my favorite to use when my nipples were tender or sore, but they did look a little funny under my shirt.  They were great in the beginning and anytime that my son experienced a growth spurt.  Why mention the growth spurts?  Because during a growth spurt it can feel like your infant is hanging off your boobs 24/7 and all that extra nursing can make your nipples hurt.  Bonus (again):  They don't leave any fibers to pick off your sore nipples.

Reusable Nursing Pads - A few months after my son was weaned, I no longer had to use my standard Lansinoh Ultra Thin disposable nursing pads.  However, I still had leaking issues and it took a looooong time for my milk to dry up so I turned to cotton nursing pads that could be washed & dried.  Of the mainstream (found in BRU) pads, I liked the size of Dr. Brown's the best.  The others I tried were too small and looked really funny under my bra.

Breast Pump - I have no proof of this, but I swear that lots of pumping in the early days is what set me up with a fantastic milk supply.  I used a double electric while in the hospital and switched to the manual Avent Isis at home.  It's quiet, inexpensive, and super-easy to take apart for cleaning.  Using the Avent Isis, I was able to get ounce after ounce after ounce of milk in less than ten minutes and, as a result, I had tons of frozen breastmilk that I could use to mix with my son's cereal once he started solids.

Breast Shells - Note that I am not talking about a completely different item called breast shields!  I liked Avent's breast shells and they were so helpful when my nipples were healing (after having bad latch for the first several days) and when I suffered with engorgement issues.  I had engorgement issues off & on for around nine months so I had plenty of experience with using these babies.

Cold Packs and Warm Compresses - These were helpful to alternate when my milk came in and I had the most painful engorgement issues.  When I was so full that my nipples were stretched totally flat, I found it helpful to lean over a big bowl of warm water and let my nipples soften up.  Funky bonus is that it looks crazy to see the milk swirl out of your nipple and in to the water. I also thought that spraying down the shower with my milky fountains worked too, but it required more effort.

Breasts & Nipples - Obviously these are necessary, right?  One thing you might not realize is that the percentage of women who are biologically incapable of breastfeeding is incredibly small.  So if you want to breastfeed, the chances are incredibly good that you'll be able to do it.  Small breasts, inverted nipples, and other issues aren't necessarily a roadblock to establishing a nursing relationship.  If you have any reason to think that you have (or may have) problems with breastfeeding, do seek out the assistance of a lactation consultant as soon as possible to get help and reassurance.

Fluids - I was so thirsty and drank so much water when I was breastfeeding!  I guzzled a full glass of water at every nursing session in the early months of breastfeeding.  Fluids are important for a nursing mama, but follow your own thirst cues and avoid fluids that are diuretics.

Rest - Silly idea, resting while breastfeeding exclusively, but it's sorta possible.  Some mamas have success with side nursing, but I could never make it work for me.  If you can manage it, you can snooze while baby nurses.  Let the house fall apart and lean on others for help wherever you can find it so you can sleep when the baby sleeps.  Why rest?  Because your body will have an easier time producing milk if you're not bone-tired all the time.

Baby Carrier - I liked a stretchy wrap for the early days, but a ring sling would also work.  Actually any carrier that's appropriate for the child and used safely will be a good choice.  Why wear your baby?  Because it's easier to spot hunger cues when baby is nearby.  I also found that I was more milkalicious and produced far more milk when baby was against my body.

Attitude - It's true in breastfeeding and any other area of your life:  Don't "try," just "do."  In other words, don't let your attitude be a contributor to failure.  Why take home hospital samples of formula if you're planning to breastfeed?  Leave them there and believe that you will not need them.  Believe that you can do it and you probably will.  I think it was Henry Ford who said it best, whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right.

Education - No, you don't need to become a lactation consultant, but ignorance is not always bliss and many women, even mothers, are not very well informed about breastfeeding.  Devour books and scour websites to learn all you can about breastfeeding.  Find out if you can have meet with a lactation consultant or if there are any La Leche League meetings in your area.  Talk with friends who breastfed their own children for any length of time and pay particular attention to those who were able to nurse as long as they wanted because they probably have a lot of handy information to share that they learned while breastfeeding.  Arm yourself with the knowledge you'll need to succeed.


Did you breastfeed?  What were your favorite tools for breastfeeding?

Did I Suffer from Estrogen Dominance? Do You?

I've documented my problems with progesterone and, unless you skip those blog posts or your eyes simply glaze over, you're aware that I've had some hormonal difficulties.  Progesterone is but one hormone that rises and falls throughout the month and I began thinking about that other hormone that rules the menstrual cycle:  estrogen.  Specifically, I began to question whether my estrogen levels were balanced.

What do you think I discovered?  I think that I not only have had low progesterone levels, but I think my estrogen levels were too high.  Estrogen dominance can occur no matter what your estrogen levels may be if you're low on progesterone.  I may have been suffering from estrogen dominance for a long time.

What are the symptoms of estrogen dominance?  Irregular menstrual cycles, heavy bleeding, infertility, irritability, mood swings, fatigue, headaches, and the list goes on.  Yep, sounds like me!

Adding to the hormonal havoc is that there are chemicals in certain foods that mimic estrogen in the body.  These compounds are called phytoestrogens.  Naturally, some of my favorite foods contain phytoestrogens!

Indeed, over 300 foods have been identified as having phytoestrogens.  Lignans and isoflavones are probably the most well known classes of phytoestrogens and, courtesy of my love of flax and soy, I have had a daily (or almost daily) dose of those two for MANY, MANY YEARS!  Why am I yelling about this?  Because studies have indicated that animals who consume diets high in phytoestrogens have documented reproductive problems!!!

I'm not saying that my diet was the reason that I found conception so difficult.  I'm also not saying that it wasn't a factor.  Combined with the low progesterone levels, I think it definitely could have had a negative impact on my pregnancy quest.  Note that I'm not saying that diet causes fertility difficulties because a correlation does not equal causation.  I'm just saying that it's a fascinating coincidence that I consumed a diet high in phytoestrogens and I have had a difficult time conceiving and carrying children even though I was well younger than my mid-30s.

Although I'm currently pregnant, I'm avoiding foods that are high in phytoestrogens.  Forgoing my daily doses of flaxseed oil isn't so difficult, but I know that I'm going to have some real difficulty when the heat is on and cold tofu with soy sauce, green onions, & ginger is all that sounds good to eat.  My AC kicked on about twenty minutes ago so I suppose the heat is on right now! 

Hm, looks like a lot of frozen yogurt might be in my future!  Bummer.  ;-)

Defending Birth Decisions

The sisterhood of women can really be full of snarky b*tches sometimes, huh?  Yes, I say that knowing fully well that some of you are saying, "Try looking in the mirror, Sweetcheeks."  I may be a snarky b*tch from time to time (okay, most of the time), but I always favor allowing for freedom of choice in darn near all areas of life.

Did you hear a loud KA-BOOM around 1:15 PST?  It's my head exploding over women who clearly don't believe that other women can make decisions for themselves.  What has me particularly pissed at the moment?  Women who attack other women due to their childbirth choices.  I wish I was making this up, but it's something I've witnessed in various forums and I think it completely and totally sucks that anyone would try to make a mother feel bad or inferior based upon her childbirth experience.

Who specifically is acting so douchey?  It pains me to say it because I identify with them in so many ways, but it is most often the more crunchy types of mothers who go batsh*t crazy when a woman decides to have an elective Cesarean or an elective repeat c/s.  In my naivete, I didn't expect a group of "peaceful" parents to be so hateful and attack others just because they have a difference of opinion. I guess that when people say they believe in freedom of opinion, they really mean you are free to believe in their own opinions rather than your own.

As someone who struggled to find peace with my son's c/s, I feel for any mother who feels uncomfortable about her childbirthing experience and I know how emotionally wounded childbirth can leave the mother.  My feelings of dissatisfaction toward my son's birth persisted until well beyond his second birthday.  To say that I felt cheated is an understatement.  It's more that I felt like less of a mother because I didn't get the full experience of pushing a baby out of my vagina.  I felt like I wasn't as good as other mothers I knew. . .the ones who had the dubious joy of vaginal birth.

Looking back now, my feelings seem silly to me.  Seriously, why would I think that having a baby's head pushed out a vadge would make anyone a better mother?  I don't know. . .it's not like vaginal birth confers some special power or wisdom to a new mother.  Regardless, I was tormented by my feelings and they were very real and very painful for a long time.

Over time, I stopped feeling as bad when I thought about his birth.  However, I still felt that I missed out on something special because I missed out on something that was important to me.  Those feelings completely evaporated in the aftermath of my failed natural miscarriage and I decided outright that I will never, ever have an experience like that again. 

Judge me if you must, but I absolutely will not even consider trial of labor, let alone attempt a VBAC.  I've tried to visualize a nice & normal, drug-free vaginal birth and I can't do it.  Even thinking about what labor may be like leaves me shaking, thinking of that ill-fated day where I was in so much pain that I was certain something was so wrong that I was not going to live through the night.  It was so horrific that I truly wish that I had elected to have the D & C from the get-go.  I may have been wounded from my c/s, but I have been scarred and left feeling broken from my miscarriage experience.

Perhaps my own experience is why I find it so disheartening when I read snide comments directed toward women based upon their birth decisions.  As a side note, it's hypocritically fascinating when staunchly pro-choice people get up in arms at the notion of a woman choosing to have an elective cesarean.  I guess "her body, her choice" only applies when it's convenient and in agreement with their personal agenda. 

I think sometimes that we forget that to be respectful of someone's choices doesn't necessarily mean that we are agreeing with them.  I have been against the notion of abortion for roughly ten years because I learned that it ends life, stops a beating heart.  But I'm not going to get up in a woman's business if she chooses to have one because it's not my decision to make and I have no right to try to impose my will on her.  If she can live with her choice, let her and STFU about it.  Understand that I am painfully aware that most women don't choose abortion as easily as they choose their breakfast. . .it's more like an animal gnawing off their own leg to escape a terrifying situation.

I call BS on anyone giving any mother any bit of grief about her childbirth choices and, while I have and had very definite ideas about what I want/wanted personally for myself, I would never try to make a mother feel bad about her choices.  Why?  Because it's not my vagina, my abdomen, my uterus, or my freaking choice!  It is not my right to try to exert my will over any other woman as it relates to childbirth or anything else.  Don't like someone's birth decisions?  You don't have to and it's no one else's problem but your own if you don't like someone else's choices.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how your child arrived in the world (or if you were the one who delivered your child at all) because we're all mothers and we all can use a lot more support and a lot less judgement.

We Heard Our Baby's Heartbeat!

I saw my baby's heartbeat at 6w2d and I expected (hoped, really) that my husband & I would get to see the heartbeat again today.  I didn't expect that we'd get to hear it, but we did!  Yes, we heard our baby's heartbeat!

Today I am 8w6d along and I can't believe that any medical equipment is so sensitive that it can already pick up the sound of such a tiny beating heart.  What a sweet auditory treat. . .listening to the sound of your unborn child's heartbeat.  Miscarriage risk drops dramatically once a healthy heartbeat is seen/heard and this heartbeat sounded good & strong!  It was such a relief to hear!

This baby is still measuring perfectly (8w6d on the nose!) and my OB was really happy with the look/sound of the heartbeat.  Of course, he cautioned me that he can't offer any guarantees that the worst won't happen again this time, but he was confident enough to ask his nurse to schedule the rest of my prenatal visits!

I don't have to return for another month and I've been advised to go ahead and continue using the progesterone suppositories until my next appointment.  I'm so excited over the great news that my baby has a strong & healthy-sounding heart that I can't feel the slightest bit upset over having to use the horribly gross & messy suppositories on a twice daily dose for another month.  Honestly, I'd use them for the entire 40-weeks if that's what was necessary to carry a perfectly healthy baby to term.

I know that many of my friends and family have graciously kept me and this baby in their prayers and I appreciate this more than I can ever say.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your loving care.  Most importantly, praise God for carrying me through all those horribly dark months that I felt so empty, hopeless.  I am so thankful that He truly has restored my spirit, my joy.

Makin' Whoopie!

Relax, Prudence, this isn't a post about a certain game show host's favorite euphemism for doing it. 

While hunting for party supplies and goodie bag filler, I came across a Whoopie Cushion.  Thinking of all the fun times I've had with Whoopie Cushions, I immediately started cackling and grabbed one for my son.  The cashier smirked at me when she rang up my purchase.

I explained, "It's for my son." 

"Uh-huh."  She already wasn't buying my line and raised a skeptical eyebrow in my direction when she started scanning the crayons, stickers, and number 3 candle.

"No, really, it's for my little boy." 

She forced an uncomfortable smile and said, "Right."

Okay, okay, so I think toots are hilarious and Whoopie Cushions are one of the most fun inventions ever.  So sue me!  Eh, whatever.  I paid and hustled home because I had some serious pranks to pull.

I got home and excitedly shared my purchase with my husband.  I told him that I thought it would be epic to hide it and get our son to sit on it.  The lil' guy was righteously nicknamed King Toot when he was only a couple of weeks old and he seriously delights in making his toots.

I readied the Whoopie Cushion and hid it under a blanket on one of the two chairs that are currently in my living room.  As a side note, I really freaking hate selling & buying real estate and I'm totally over this whole moving thing.  Anyway, the trap was set and I just needed to get the kiddo to sit on the chair.

I asked him to come to the living room and to take a seat.  He sat on my ottoman.  I kept my cool and requested that he sit on the big chair.  He climbed up and plopped down and

TOOOOOOOOT!

The look on his face was priceless!  His jaw dropped and his eyes were wide as he looked around at us.  I was laughing so hard that I nearly peed myself as I wrestled the Whoopie Cushion out from under him.  He realized that it was a joke and he started laughing too.

Now he is obsessed with blowing up the Whoopie Cushion and stomping on it while yelling, "Toot!"  Every so often he adds, "Oh, excuse me," after stepping on it.  I think it's the best impulse purchase that I've ever made. 

I'm either a shoo-in for Mother of the Year or I'm officially out of the running!

Kid Food - Blast from the Past

I'm not trying to claim that I only ponder deep thoughts, but sometimes I find myself thinking of things that have absolutely zero impact on anything.  This morning was one of those times.  What lametastic thoughts went through my head?  I was remembering food that I liked as a kid.  If you're in my age bracket, perhaps you have fond memories of these foods too!

Rectangle shaped pizza from Little Ceasars - I can't be the only one who remembers when you'd get two rectangle-shaped pizzas in a ridiculously long cardboard box bottom with the entire thing covered by paper, can I?  My father does not eat cheese and, as a result, this was my first experience with pizza that wasn't in the lunchroom at school.  Speaking of such things. . .

French bread pizza - Who thought it would be a good idea to take a really thick piece of bread and pretend that it's an adequate pizza crust?  I don't know and I think it's awful as an adult, but I always begged my parents for lunch money on pizza day and this was always the pizza on the menu at the cafeteria.  I don't know if it's still a hit with kids, but I found a frozen one and tried it to see if I was missing something.  I wasn't.

English muffin pizzas - My mother usually bought brown bread (I think it was white bread with brown food coloring added) and that was it, but every now & then English muffins would end up in the house.  I loved topping them with everything from butter, peanut butter, honey, jelly, and most of all, pizza toppings.  My mom had a toaster oven on the counter and it was the perfect size to make a little English muffin pizza.  Kid cuisine at it's easiest!

Canned chocolate pudding - Yes, canned!  This was long before the plastic pudding snack cups showed up on the market and it was a perfect single serving of rich & delicious pudding.  I know it sounds horrible and I'll admit that it did have a slightly metallic taste, but this stuff was soooo good!  I don't recall exactly who made it, but I want to say it was Hunts or Del Monte.  I used to jam home after school, grab a tin of pudding, turn on the animated version of Dennis the Menace (followed by Heathcliff!) and chill out for an hour.

Canned macaroni & cheese - Yes, canned!  I want to say that Franco-American or Chef Boyardee provided this impossibly cheesy lunch favorite.  The cheese sauce was incredible (to my not-all-that-particular tastebuds), but the pasta is what made it so darn good.  It was mushy & weird like all canned pastas and it was perfect with the creamy-cheesy sauce.  It was in a blue-colored can and I've looked for it for years to see if it was really all that good or if nostalgia was swaying my memory.

Canned spaghetti - Are you seeing a theme here?  I swear that my mother did not raise me on canned foods (except vegetables, it was all about the canned vegetables - BLECH!), but she did buy them for weekend lunches so I've definitely had my fair share of preservatives.  This stuff from Franco-American looked like wormy brains, but it was really tasty with a sprinkle of garlic powder.  Yes, I added it to canned goods as a kid too.

Canned asparagus / canned spinach - Do they even still make this stuff?  Having enjoyed the deliciousness that are both of these vegetables freshly prepared, I can confidently say that I will never eat the limp and stinky (just what someone looks for in food, right?) canned versions ever again.

Ice-Cream Cones cereal - It was a cereal shaped like, well, ice-cream cones.  The jingle has stuck in my head for YEARS though I'm pretty sure it went off the market when I was still in elementary school.  "My name's Ice-Cream Jones.  I'm bringing the kids my ice-cream cones!"  My mother never, ever bought this cereal, so I can only dream how it might have tasted.  What cereal did I get?  Bags of puffed wheat, puffed rice, and other horrors.  I'm not being dramatic.  Seriously, did you even know that cereal comes just in bags?  No box, just a sack o' cereal.  Anyway, it was all horrible, but the puffed wheat turned into something that can only be described as Elmer's glue when it came in contact with milk. :::shudder:::

Tribbles - You know, I'm not positive on the spelling of these.  My Star Trek dorkiness might be why I think they were called Tribbles so they might actually be called Trebles?  It was a bag (like M & M size) of little cookies (again, about the size of an M & M).  I had these one glorious Summer and they disappeared off the shelf and out of my life. 

Astro-Pops - My all-time favorite lollipop!  These things seemed like they lasted all day long and they were kinda shaped like a rocket.  I'm embarrassed to admit that the Astros were my favorite baseball team for a long period of time because my under-6 aged brain thought they had something to do with my favorite lolly.  How much did I love these suckers?  I can vividly recall crying because I dropped one in the sand at the beach when I was around four.

Vienna sausages - I know these still exist, but I feel the need to admit the shameful truth:  I freaking loved these disgusting wieners.  The smell would probably make me gag now and sticking my fingers in the weird jelly that they are packed in definitely would, but OMG I LOVED these things.  How much did I love them?  I'd eat them straight from the can.  No need to class up these babies!

Have you ever eaten any of this stuff?  If so, did you like it?  What crazy food did you eat as a kid?