So What Do You Call It?

I love words, but sometimes I'm unsure what words to use.  Case in point, what to call sexy parts when you have a toddler.  I'm on the fence on the issue and still not entirely comfortable with how I've chosen to handle the situation because I haven't exactly answered his question.

Penis and vagina may be technically correct terms, but they're so clinical-sounding and I'm not one to generally use such accurate language in everyday conversation.  My favorite names for genitals aren't appropriate for a toddler to use so I settled on calling my son's penis a "wiener" early on.  Wiener is such a fun word, totally neutral and almost universally liked.

I know that some parents will think I'm doing him a disservice by not using the proper term, but I don't care that he calls it a wiener.  I mean, we also call the lower abdomen a tummy or a belly when the stomach is not exactly in that area (it's more like intestines & reproductive organs) so it's not like we always use the most accurate term for human anatomy.  I don't see why I should a stickler for penis (hehe) if I'm not with other body parts.  And I'll bet that even the most penisy and vaginey parents are guilty not always using the correct term for every body part.  Specifically, most of them use the word vagina incorrectly whether they realize it or not. 

I have trouble with what to call girly bits.  As I stated above, my normal words for that part of my anatomy would probably cause some women to curl their toes.  Vulva is the obvious choice since it does, in fact, refer to the exterior area of a woman's nether regions.  I've thought about "vadge" as it is half of the name for the immediate interior of my lady parts and vagina is widely, though erroneously, used as the blanket term for the general vicinity. 

Why does this come up?  Well, because he still does occasionally see me undressed and he's asked, "What's that?"  My answer has been a simple, "It's Mama's."  Sometimes I'll just say, "Pubic hair," as that's technically what he's pointing at and, so far, that seems to satisfy his question. 

What do you call male and female genitalia when talking with toddlers?  Why did you choose the words you chose?

The Penis Post

The Centers for Disease Control indicates that circumcision is on the decline in America.  I have some thoughts on why that might be, but I don't want to turn this post into a dry discussion of cultural norms as they relate to the infant penis.  Instead, I want to have a little fun talking about something serious.

I like 'em long, short, thick, & thin. I like them circumcised and uncircumcised. I like the pubes trimmed and I like the pubes unruly. I'm okay with them a little musky and I'm okay with them smelling of bath soap. Basically, I like dick, no matter what. After all, we all know that the only thing that matters is how it feels.

Uh, but I've only been with three guys.  And two were husbands.  ;-)

I never really gave any thought to whether or not my love interest possessed a circumcised penis or not; like I said, they are all pretty great in their own way and there is something to like about just about each one you encounter. Prior to childbirth, I assumed that I would not circumcise any sons that I may have because foreskins just don't really matter to me.  I'm not an intactivist, but I'm also not running around with a scalpel on the hunt for foreskins.  I just don't care all that much about it.

I was fraught with worry once I discovered that I was expecting a boy. To circumcise or not circumcise, that was the question. I ultimately felt strongly that I did not want to circumcise - until I began talking about it with people I know. I discovered not one, not two, but three grown men who had experienced the horrific pain of post-infant circumcision. These men endured medically necessary circumcisions long after they grew out of infancy.

One individual was three, one was in his pre-teens, and one was just about 70. The youngest male reports that he refused to go to his mother for weeks because in his young mind, she was the one who brought him to the doctor for this operation and, therefore, she was the one to blame for his pain. The male who was around 11-years of age when he was snipped reports that the biggest problem he had (besides the problems that necessitated the circumcision in the first place) was with avoiding an erection while his wound healed. He says that, at that age, he could get an erection if the wind blew. And the elderly man who ended up with a necessary circumcision at the end of his life. . .well, I suppose that he enjoyed his foreskin all those years, but it was impossibly painful to have his dick cut in his 7th decade.

I conducted an admittedly un-scientific survey of woman friends to determine what type of dick they preferred. The women I surveyed were in their mid-20s - 40s and they encompassed various ethnicities; white, hispanic, black, & asian, to be specific. I asked if they preferred a circumcised penis or an uncircumcised penis. Circumcision won out by about 9 to 1. Indeed, uncircumcised penises (penii?) were roundly ridiculed and there were many unsolicited, derisive comments made about the so-called anteater.

I found the ridicule directed at uncircumcised wieners to be a little out of line. I dated an uncircumcised individual for three years and I can attest that they have their own special charms. But I also realize that we all have our preferences and, frankly, I've grown quite used to having a circumcised penis in bed beside me.

My husband was a staunch defender of circumcision. I kind of thought that it would probably be better to do it in infancy if there were a chance that he'd experience and remember the pain of circumcision later in life, but I ended up not really having a strong feeling about it either way.  I don't even have a penis and I find it hard to get all worked up about circumcision one way or another.

Ultimately, it really wasn't our decision after all.  I won't say whether he was or wasn't circumcised, but there were legitimate medical reasons why we either had to circumcise or had to leave him intact.  And, you know, I don't spend any time at all worrying about my son's wiener. 

What are your thoughts on male circumcision?  Would you circumcise your male children?  Why or why not?  Whether or not your male children are circumcised, do you regret your decision?  Why?