I think that anyone who knows me at all or reads what I write in this blog can agree that I'm fairly direct and to the point. I have a low tolerance for bullsh*t and little interest in drama. I try not to engage in gossip and I try to be a kind & giving person even toward people who I just don't care for all that much. Indeed, I try to keep those negative thoughts to myself because I believe in treating others the way I'd like to be treated.
Yeah, I know, I sound like I'm The Last Girlscout. I'm not trying to say that I'm oh-so-evolved as an individual, but I most definitely do not suffer from emotional retardation that makes me act as though I am still a snippy teenager running the mean girls schtick. I'm 36-years old and it would be ridiculous if I were still behaving like it's the early-90s. I don't feel the need to try to push down others to elevate myself because that's a fool's way to get a temporary lift and it's just not my style. I am who I am, I know who I am, and I like who I am. Anyone who has a problem with that can just suck it.
I'm usually a good judge of character and I don't exactly shrink away from rolling in the mud with b*tches and that's why it surprises me when one chooses to square off with me over a completely chickensh*t reason that makes absolutely zero sense. Life can be so full of crap and I truly value honesty in relationships. It may sound naive, but I think it's a shame that all women don't feel the same way. I get that sometimes others are spoiling for a fight and there are certainly times that I've launched myself in the ring, but I have flesh & blood family who I haven't had a single word of contact with in over three decades and there is no way that I'll hesitate to burn down a relationship with a friend if I feel that they are not genuine with me or if I feel that they are actively out to sabotage my happiness.
Of course, using the word "friend" is debatable because friends don't try to cut down other friends. Friends don't give their friends ultimatums regarding other non-mutual friends. Friends don't ignore special times in their friends' lives; special times like birthdays, buying new houses, having a long desired baby. Friends don't make up outright lies to try to eject their friends from social groups - particularly when the lie is completely unnecessary. And friends sure as heck don't pull this c*nty behavior in the weeks and short months after their friend suffered the unexpected death of a young family member, after a friend moved to a new house while in the third trimester of pregnancy, and after the friend's mother just spent 40+ days in a rehab facility to relearn how to walk.
As I list out all this behavior, I've come to believe that this friend is impossibly pathetic and I'm surprised that I feel mainly indifference rather than righteous fury toward her unwarranted attack during what anyone can see is a difficult time in my life. Her childishness is rather lame and I feel pity more than anything at the moment. On some level I'd like to blow the lid off this situation and get others involved too, but ultimately that's her style and not mine. And I guess that I just don't care. If someone wants to act like a douche toward me, well, that's their choice. What am I supposed to do about it and why would I want to? I choose to move on because life is too short and I'm too good of a person to deserve that kind of treatment.
Why would I want a false friend? Why would I waste my energy exposing the ugliness when women like that usually do a good enough job exposing their own ugliness? Given enough rope, they do eventually hang themselves. Life is challenging enough so why would I want to stay in a group where this kind of d*ckish and duplicitous behavior occurs? Why spend my time with thoughtless and inconsiderate @ssholes?
It would be one thing if this behavior was simple insensitivity and I've pondered this possibility at length. I know that I am a hot-head and I have a tendency to fire first and ask questions later. After bouncing the entire situation off my hubs at length, I've determined that I'm neither overreacting nor reading into anything. It simply is not the case that someone is being a clueless twit. This was designed to be intentionally hurtful and that's what I can't accept and will not tolerate. While some people thrive on their own maliciousness and drama, I do not. Again, I believe it's pretty pathetic to act this way at my age and certainly at hers. I received her message loud & clear, therefore, I think I'll do this person a favor and tell them to go f*ck themselves.
Have you ever had to tangle with a middle-aged adolescent? How did you handle the situation?
PS If you think this is about you, it's a good clue that it is not. In my experience, people like this come up with all kinds of dumb excuses to justify and ignore their own shockingly bad behavior.
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Monday, November 21, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I'm Back. . .Maybe
Some of you may have noticed that I've been silent lately. It would be fair to say that I've been, for the most part, stunned silent. It's been well over six-weeks since my nephew died and I'm still unable to begin processing my grief. It's not that I can't handle grief, goodness knows that I can certainly handle grief, it's that I'm afraid to fall too deeply in to that pit of sadness and hurt during what should be - what needs to be - a happy and joyful time in my life.
I know that sounds selfish, but it's not even only for my own sake that I refuse to address my pain. It's for the sake of my children, the one I hold and the one I'm still carrying. For being such a young child, my son has witnessed far too much of my grief and I don't want his mind to somehow connect my pregnancy to my tears and despair because I don't want him to somehow think it's his little brother's fault that Mama is so sad. . .so sad yet again. I don't want my unborn son to be negatively impacted by my own mental state. I know that I don't care for myself adequately when I'm down there and that means that he won't be adequately nourished either. That's not even addressing whether or not a fetus suffers developmentally based upon the mother's depression or stress hormone levels. Without a doubt, my boys would suffer if I allowed myself to delve into the aching depths of human sadness.
Of course, it isn't all selflessness. This baby in my womb only came after two solid years of trying every month, after losing one precious babe, after subjecting myself to hormone treatments that made for an unbelievably stressful first half of pregnancy. After two years of bitter disappointment each month, I want to experience all the joy I possibly can. Is it wrong that I want to try to enjoy what will most likely be my final pregnancy? If it is, then I guess I'm wrong.
I simply can't wrap my head around a 17-year old kid dying from a heart attack. I just can't. It's like something you read about and feel sorry for the family who was impacted by such a fluke occurrence. Only it's not some random anonymous family. It's my family. It's my family who has been hurt by yet another unnaturally natural death. It's such a bizarre and unthinkable thing that I don't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, pull at my hair, or some mixture of all responses.
So how am I handling my grief? I'm not. I push it back down whenever it comes up and I generally pretend that it does not exist. Is this healthy? No, not by a long shot. Is this the most sensible way I can handle it at the moment? Yes. I know the time is coming where my grief will begin to manifest itself in other ways and I'm already having difficulty pushing it from my mind when it comes to me, but thus far only the silence of midnight's moon has been the witness to my weeping so I'm thankful my son has been spared. It's a scene that he's seen before, but I know it frightens him and he's seen it altogether too often.
Why do I cry in the night? Why else? It's when I say my prayers and I can't help but cry when I pray for my nieces and nephews. Most nights I automatically put his name in there, my mind still unable to accept that he no longer has need for any of my prayers, and that's when it hits me the hardest. I begin to play the highlight reel - tears always come when I think of him joking and clowning around - and I have to muffle my cries in my pillow and begin praying that sleep comes mercifully soon.
Perhaps I'd be well on the road to healing if I'd been able to attend his funeral? I don't know and it doesn't matter since I was unable to attend. My mother fell and broke her hip just days after his death (she only just returned home), I wasn't keen to leave my little boy because it really messed with his head when I did so to attend my brother's service last year, and my OB wasn't wild about the notion of me traveling 3,000 miles away when I was still having bleeding episodes in this pregnancy. So I didn't go. I wish on some level that I had, but my parents and my children needed me to stay here and I did.
I don't know that I will be able to continue blogging, but I will make an effort. Though I have always been brutally honest in this blog, I won't be able to address these emotions because they need to stay bottled up for the time being. The way I see it, I probably have plenty to write about without participating in a bit of free therapy. So I'm back. . .maybe.
I know that sounds selfish, but it's not even only for my own sake that I refuse to address my pain. It's for the sake of my children, the one I hold and the one I'm still carrying. For being such a young child, my son has witnessed far too much of my grief and I don't want his mind to somehow connect my pregnancy to my tears and despair because I don't want him to somehow think it's his little brother's fault that Mama is so sad. . .so sad yet again. I don't want my unborn son to be negatively impacted by my own mental state. I know that I don't care for myself adequately when I'm down there and that means that he won't be adequately nourished either. That's not even addressing whether or not a fetus suffers developmentally based upon the mother's depression or stress hormone levels. Without a doubt, my boys would suffer if I allowed myself to delve into the aching depths of human sadness.
Of course, it isn't all selflessness. This baby in my womb only came after two solid years of trying every month, after losing one precious babe, after subjecting myself to hormone treatments that made for an unbelievably stressful first half of pregnancy. After two years of bitter disappointment each month, I want to experience all the joy I possibly can. Is it wrong that I want to try to enjoy what will most likely be my final pregnancy? If it is, then I guess I'm wrong.
I simply can't wrap my head around a 17-year old kid dying from a heart attack. I just can't. It's like something you read about and feel sorry for the family who was impacted by such a fluke occurrence. Only it's not some random anonymous family. It's my family. It's my family who has been hurt by yet another unnaturally natural death. It's such a bizarre and unthinkable thing that I don't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, pull at my hair, or some mixture of all responses.
So how am I handling my grief? I'm not. I push it back down whenever it comes up and I generally pretend that it does not exist. Is this healthy? No, not by a long shot. Is this the most sensible way I can handle it at the moment? Yes. I know the time is coming where my grief will begin to manifest itself in other ways and I'm already having difficulty pushing it from my mind when it comes to me, but thus far only the silence of midnight's moon has been the witness to my weeping so I'm thankful my son has been spared. It's a scene that he's seen before, but I know it frightens him and he's seen it altogether too often.
Why do I cry in the night? Why else? It's when I say my prayers and I can't help but cry when I pray for my nieces and nephews. Most nights I automatically put his name in there, my mind still unable to accept that he no longer has need for any of my prayers, and that's when it hits me the hardest. I begin to play the highlight reel - tears always come when I think of him joking and clowning around - and I have to muffle my cries in my pillow and begin praying that sleep comes mercifully soon.
Perhaps I'd be well on the road to healing if I'd been able to attend his funeral? I don't know and it doesn't matter since I was unable to attend. My mother fell and broke her hip just days after his death (she only just returned home), I wasn't keen to leave my little boy because it really messed with his head when I did so to attend my brother's service last year, and my OB wasn't wild about the notion of me traveling 3,000 miles away when I was still having bleeding episodes in this pregnancy. So I didn't go. I wish on some level that I had, but my parents and my children needed me to stay here and I did.
I don't know that I will be able to continue blogging, but I will make an effort. Though I have always been brutally honest in this blog, I won't be able to address these emotions because they need to stay bottled up for the time being. The way I see it, I probably have plenty to write about without participating in a bit of free therapy. So I'm back. . .maybe.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Are You Down There Too?
A quote came to me a few weeks ago while thinking about an ugly situation. I'll paraphrase: so long as you hold someone down, some part of you is down there with them so you can't rise up as high as you might. I suppose that it can quite literally mean to hold someone down, but I believe that the author is talking about emotional abuse and the mean things we say rather than the things we physically do.
Putting people down, talking badly about others, and being duplicitous are some of the most unbecoming behaviors in humans. In my experience, I have found that women are far more likely to engage in said behaviors than men. Even worse, they act that way toward each other and that makes me particularly sad. I'm not naive enough to believe that there is a cohesive sisterhood of women, but it would be refreshingly nice to have it demonstrated that they might outgrow high school at some point and start acting like the grown women they are instead of the teenagers they once were.
I'm certainly not trying to pretend that I've never given in to the urge to gossip or otherwise act like a b*tch toward other women because I have. I may not always be successful, but I do try to resist those urges. How about you? Are you busily holding someone else down? If you are, remember that you're down there too.
Putting people down, talking badly about others, and being duplicitous are some of the most unbecoming behaviors in humans. In my experience, I have found that women are far more likely to engage in said behaviors than men. Even worse, they act that way toward each other and that makes me particularly sad. I'm not naive enough to believe that there is a cohesive sisterhood of women, but it would be refreshingly nice to have it demonstrated that they might outgrow high school at some point and start acting like the grown women they are instead of the teenagers they once were.
I'm certainly not trying to pretend that I've never given in to the urge to gossip or otherwise act like a b*tch toward other women because I have. I may not always be successful, but I do try to resist those urges. How about you? Are you busily holding someone else down? If you are, remember that you're down there too.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Moderation or Censorship?
I'm don't have an axe to grind here because it's never happened to me that I know of, but I've noticed that some bloggers who I follow share a particularly nasty habit: they remove comments from their blog and their Facebook wall.
No, I will not divulge the names of these blogs because I'm not interested in driving traffic their way or starting an internet bitch-fight with someone who I don't even know. Besides, I think we all can agree that women are bitchy enough to each other in real life so there's no need to act cunty toward a stranger who's never personally done a single thing to me.
Why would someone want to delete comments from their blog or their FB wall? It could be that the comment is spam, in which case it's perfectly understandable why someone would want it deleted. Unfortunately, I find that all too often comments are deleted because the commenter is being combative or because the author of the blog simply disagrees with the comment that was made. Whatever the reason, the author of the blog justifies their decision by indicating that it's their space to moderate and they can delete whatever they'd like. I don't disagree with that sentiment though I wish they'd be honest about what they're really doing when they remove comments.
What is it that they're doing? What habit do I find so distasteful? Actively engaging in censorship.
I'm more than a little disgusted that creative individuals would purposely censor others. I'm not against moderation, but I am against censorship and removing disliked comments is most definitely censorship. If you think I'm incorrect, please enlighten me and let me know what else it should be called.
My blog only has 20 followers and I've sometimes received comments that I think are a little dickish. That's life, right? It's true that I can't imagine how irritated bloggers with thousands of followers must feel by daily dickish comments made by women who have so much bitchiness that it overflows their real lives and spills out on the internet. However, as adults we generally accept that everyone doesn't always agree with our viewpoints. Get that? Everyone who hears or reads what we have to say is not going to agree. And, FFS, you should expect to receive flak if you write about something controversial. You would be a moron if you don't expect a strong counter to your own strong opinion.
I don't live off of asskissing (either variety) and think that life would be really boring without a little debate every now and then. As the tired saying goes, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." I think a nice alternative is, If you're intolerant toward a difference of opinion, why are you busy voicing your own?
No, I will not divulge the names of these blogs because I'm not interested in driving traffic their way or starting an internet bitch-fight with someone who I don't even know. Besides, I think we all can agree that women are bitchy enough to each other in real life so there's no need to act cunty toward a stranger who's never personally done a single thing to me.
Why would someone want to delete comments from their blog or their FB wall? It could be that the comment is spam, in which case it's perfectly understandable why someone would want it deleted. Unfortunately, I find that all too often comments are deleted because the commenter is being combative or because the author of the blog simply disagrees with the comment that was made. Whatever the reason, the author of the blog justifies their decision by indicating that it's their space to moderate and they can delete whatever they'd like. I don't disagree with that sentiment though I wish they'd be honest about what they're really doing when they remove comments.
What is it that they're doing? What habit do I find so distasteful? Actively engaging in censorship.
I'm more than a little disgusted that creative individuals would purposely censor others. I'm not against moderation, but I am against censorship and removing disliked comments is most definitely censorship. If you think I'm incorrect, please enlighten me and let me know what else it should be called.
My blog only has 20 followers and I've sometimes received comments that I think are a little dickish. That's life, right? It's true that I can't imagine how irritated bloggers with thousands of followers must feel by daily dickish comments made by women who have so much bitchiness that it overflows their real lives and spills out on the internet. However, as adults we generally accept that everyone doesn't always agree with our viewpoints. Get that? Everyone who hears or reads what we have to say is not going to agree. And, FFS, you should expect to receive flak if you write about something controversial. You would be a moron if you don't expect a strong counter to your own strong opinion.
I don't live off of asskissing (either variety) and think that life would be really boring without a little debate every now and then. As the tired saying goes, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." I think a nice alternative is, If you're intolerant toward a difference of opinion, why are you busy voicing your own?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
You Talk To Your Children With That Mouth?!
I suppose an alternate title for this post could be Be Careful What You Call Them Because Kids Tend to Live Up to Labels.
I was at Knott's Berry Farm for around nine-hours the other day. I wasn't able to go on many rides so I was able to do quite a bit of people watching while I was there. Not just watching, but I unfortunately got the full hearing experience too.
Boy, did I my ears get worked over! I'm certainly not a prude - as anyone who reads what I write or knows me personally can no doubt attest. I've been known to have quite the, ahem, colorful vocabulary, but I could not believe some of the things that I heard people saying out loud at a family-friendly venue. Even worse, I was stunned by the things some people said to their own children while at a theme park for what I assume was supposed to be a day of fun for the family.
Here is the worst thing I overheard:
"You little fucker! Stop acting like a prick!"
A trashy mother talking to an insolent teenager, right? Wrong.
The child was perhaps four years old and was bawling his eyes out while Sharpie-eyebrow mother walked ahead, tossing insults over her shoulders. Sure, it appeared that he'd been teasing his little sister, but come on! Who talks to their kid that way? Even on their worst day, what parent would say those things to a little kid?
Can that boy possibly have a bright future when he's been the target of such a heinous verbal attack by his mother? Yes, I know that this was just one incident and I don't know all the details. However, I can't help but think that this poor boy has probably heard a lot worse at home and is probably berated unmercifully if she's unashamed and able to talk to her child like this in public.
I'm trying really hard to tamp down anything in this post that sounds like I'm up on my high horse because I know that I suck as a parent plenty of times too. I've got to say though that I'm appalled by the way some people choose to talk to their children. Again, I know that I've bit my son's head off plenty of times. . .but I would never consider calling him hurtful names and cursing at him. Yes, I reserve the right to reverse my opinion on the matter when the teen years come around!
I know that kids can go totally bonkers with all the sights and sounds of an amusement park. I know that they can easily get whipped into a sugar frenzy. I know that sometimes they can really get on their parents' nerves. I have a high energy kid, I get that it's exhausting and that sometimes all patience is gone.
What I don't get is how anyone can possibly justify cursing at their child while calling them a mean name. I really do not understand this at all. Frankly, I hope to never understand it lest I become too comfortable with the notion and risk becoming that which I despise.
I was at Knott's Berry Farm for around nine-hours the other day. I wasn't able to go on many rides so I was able to do quite a bit of people watching while I was there. Not just watching, but I unfortunately got the full hearing experience too.
Boy, did I my ears get worked over! I'm certainly not a prude - as anyone who reads what I write or knows me personally can no doubt attest. I've been known to have quite the, ahem, colorful vocabulary, but I could not believe some of the things that I heard people saying out loud at a family-friendly venue. Even worse, I was stunned by the things some people said to their own children while at a theme park for what I assume was supposed to be a day of fun for the family.
Here is the worst thing I overheard:
"You little fucker! Stop acting like a prick!"
A trashy mother talking to an insolent teenager, right? Wrong.
The child was perhaps four years old and was bawling his eyes out while Sharpie-eyebrow mother walked ahead, tossing insults over her shoulders. Sure, it appeared that he'd been teasing his little sister, but come on! Who talks to their kid that way? Even on their worst day, what parent would say those things to a little kid?
Can that boy possibly have a bright future when he's been the target of such a heinous verbal attack by his mother? Yes, I know that this was just one incident and I don't know all the details. However, I can't help but think that this poor boy has probably heard a lot worse at home and is probably berated unmercifully if she's unashamed and able to talk to her child like this in public.
I'm trying really hard to tamp down anything in this post that sounds like I'm up on my high horse because I know that I suck as a parent plenty of times too. I've got to say though that I'm appalled by the way some people choose to talk to their children. Again, I know that I've bit my son's head off plenty of times. . .but I would never consider calling him hurtful names and cursing at him. Yes, I reserve the right to reverse my opinion on the matter when the teen years come around!
I know that kids can go totally bonkers with all the sights and sounds of an amusement park. I know that they can easily get whipped into a sugar frenzy. I know that sometimes they can really get on their parents' nerves. I have a high energy kid, I get that it's exhausting and that sometimes all patience is gone.
What I don't get is how anyone can possibly justify cursing at their child while calling them a mean name. I really do not understand this at all. Frankly, I hope to never understand it lest I become too comfortable with the notion and risk becoming that which I despise.
Monday, July 18, 2011
My Big Mouth - Weekend Edition
This was a banner weekend for my big mouth! Here's a sampling of some things that annoyed or amused those who were near enough to hear me.
I put all my eggs in my butt. - This might sound like a really gross fetish, but I meant to say that I put all my eggs in one basket and that basket is my butt. . .actually, that sounds horrible too. Perhaps I should have just left the conversation alone without my input. I kept trying to explain my comment and finally just had to give up.
It's really not funny. - This doesn't sound so amusing at first glance, but it was accompanied by peals of shrieking laughter that was brought on by thinking about my previous comment. What topic made me have such an opposite reaction of my words? A man who my husband knew was hit by a car a long time ago. I blame my husband for bringing it up at the height of my funny fit because it made me look like a heartless @sshole.
There's a biological reason why I sometimes have an inappropriate response to conversations and it's that I'm a dick. - Good excuse or nice try? You decide.
I don't expect to see a low bid paint job on a house that's priced significantly higher than any other house in the neighborhood. - What's that? This doesn't sound so bad? Well, it is when the woman of the house unexpectedly showed up and overheard this comment and the rest of my complaints about her house. Ouch!
He's being a joy kill. - Of course the last two words are transposed, but my head was hurting too much to even bother with trying to correct myself. No worries, my 16-year old nephew took the opportunity to crack wise.
I put all my eggs in my butt. - This might sound like a really gross fetish, but I meant to say that I put all my eggs in one basket and that basket is my butt. . .actually, that sounds horrible too. Perhaps I should have just left the conversation alone without my input. I kept trying to explain my comment and finally just had to give up.
It's really not funny. - This doesn't sound so amusing at first glance, but it was accompanied by peals of shrieking laughter that was brought on by thinking about my previous comment. What topic made me have such an opposite reaction of my words? A man who my husband knew was hit by a car a long time ago. I blame my husband for bringing it up at the height of my funny fit because it made me look like a heartless @sshole.
There's a biological reason why I sometimes have an inappropriate response to conversations and it's that I'm a dick. - Good excuse or nice try? You decide.
I don't expect to see a low bid paint job on a house that's priced significantly higher than any other house in the neighborhood. - What's that? This doesn't sound so bad? Well, it is when the woman of the house unexpectedly showed up and overheard this comment and the rest of my complaints about her house. Ouch!
He's being a joy kill. - Of course the last two words are transposed, but my head was hurting too much to even bother with trying to correct myself. No worries, my 16-year old nephew took the opportunity to crack wise.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
So What Do You Call It?
I love words, but sometimes I'm unsure what words to use. Case in point, what to call sexy parts when you have a toddler. I'm on the fence on the issue and still not entirely comfortable with how I've chosen to handle the situation because I haven't exactly answered his question.
Penis and vagina may be technically correct terms, but they're so clinical-sounding and I'm not one to generally use such accurate language in everyday conversation. My favorite names for genitals aren't appropriate for a toddler to use so I settled on calling my son's penis a "wiener" early on. Wiener is such a fun word, totally neutral and almost universally liked.
I know that some parents will think I'm doing him a disservice by not using the proper term, but I don't care that he calls it a wiener. I mean, we also call the lower abdomen a tummy or a belly when the stomach is not exactly in that area (it's more like intestines & reproductive organs) so it's not like we always use the most accurate term for human anatomy. I don't see why I should a stickler for penis (hehe) if I'm not with other body parts. And I'll bet that even the most penisy and vaginey parents are guilty not always using the correct term for every body part. Specifically, most of them use the word vagina incorrectly whether they realize it or not.
I have trouble with what to call girly bits. As I stated above, my normal words for that part of my anatomy would probably cause some women to curl their toes. Vulva is the obvious choice since it does, in fact, refer to the exterior area of a woman's nether regions. I've thought about "vadge" as it is half of the name for the immediate interior of my lady parts and vagina is widely, though erroneously, used as the blanket term for the general vicinity.
Why does this come up? Well, because he still does occasionally see me undressed and he's asked, "What's that?" My answer has been a simple, "It's Mama's." Sometimes I'll just say, "Pubic hair," as that's technically what he's pointing at and, so far, that seems to satisfy his question.
What do you call male and female genitalia when talking with toddlers? Why did you choose the words you chose?
Penis and vagina may be technically correct terms, but they're so clinical-sounding and I'm not one to generally use such accurate language in everyday conversation. My favorite names for genitals aren't appropriate for a toddler to use so I settled on calling my son's penis a "wiener" early on. Wiener is such a fun word, totally neutral and almost universally liked.
I know that some parents will think I'm doing him a disservice by not using the proper term, but I don't care that he calls it a wiener. I mean, we also call the lower abdomen a tummy or a belly when the stomach is not exactly in that area (it's more like intestines & reproductive organs) so it's not like we always use the most accurate term for human anatomy. I don't see why I should a stickler for penis (hehe) if I'm not with other body parts. And I'll bet that even the most penisy and vaginey parents are guilty not always using the correct term for every body part. Specifically, most of them use the word vagina incorrectly whether they realize it or not.
I have trouble with what to call girly bits. As I stated above, my normal words for that part of my anatomy would probably cause some women to curl their toes. Vulva is the obvious choice since it does, in fact, refer to the exterior area of a woman's nether regions. I've thought about "vadge" as it is half of the name for the immediate interior of my lady parts and vagina is widely, though erroneously, used as the blanket term for the general vicinity.
Why does this come up? Well, because he still does occasionally see me undressed and he's asked, "What's that?" My answer has been a simple, "It's Mama's." Sometimes I'll just say, "Pubic hair," as that's technically what he's pointing at and, so far, that seems to satisfy his question.
What do you call male and female genitalia when talking with toddlers? Why did you choose the words you chose?
Friday, June 10, 2011
An Interesting Search
I check my blog stats every day to see which posts are read most frequently. Among other things, I can find out which country readers reside in, what operating systems they use, and which search words readers use to find this blog. That last bit is rather interesting at times and it certainly is this morning.
Some of you know that I felt forced to censor myself by destroying my old blog, my old blogger name, and making this new blog viewable by invitation only for a period of time. I'm not going to rehash my reasons why because I didn't feel it was fair or right, but I suppose that someone dear to me felt they were good reasons. Let's just say that although I was fully in the right and standing on the side of truth, it made my life easier to not have my every word, thought, and opinion dissected and perverted by certain readers who were offended by the plain truth and my personal opinions.
I find it interesting that someone found this blog yesterday by searching for my old blogger name. Should I be concerned that those who clearly can't handle the truth might actually be exposed to it by reading this blog? Should I ready myself for an attack? Should I go through the nonsense to delete this blog and create yet another one?
No, I don't think I should do a damn thing.
I don't feel it's my problem if someone is so freakishly obsessed with me, my words, or my thoughts that they actually took the time to search for me after I took great pains to remain anonymous these last several months. I guess I'm just not all that concerned if someone has actively sought me out because they were completely and totally cut from my life and my son's life as a result of their actions and perhaps this is a way to learn a little about what's going on with us. I guess at some point everyone realizes that their hateful actions have very real consequences; their poison pen acted as a saw to effectively cut us away forever. I can forgive their heinous words, but I will not forget them and I will never allow myself to be put in a position to be hurt by them again.
It's debatable whether or not they're missing out on anything important by not being allowed a relationship with me, but they absolutely are missing out on quite a lot by not being allowed contact with my son. He's a spectacular little boy and I'm actually thankful that he no longer asks about seeing those people because I found it very difficult to hold my tongue and simply say that we won't be seeing them again. I guess that's something they should have thought about before attacking this child's mother who absolutely did nothing to provoke such a venomous letter.
Lest you think I'm being petty and using my son as a weapon, it was their own stated wish that we remain out of their lives. I'm sure they had their own dark and bitter reasons, but thinking such hateful language was spewed forth because they are emotionally wounded almost makes me feel sorry for them. Almost. . .
Some of you know that I felt forced to censor myself by destroying my old blog, my old blogger name, and making this new blog viewable by invitation only for a period of time. I'm not going to rehash my reasons why because I didn't feel it was fair or right, but I suppose that someone dear to me felt they were good reasons. Let's just say that although I was fully in the right and standing on the side of truth, it made my life easier to not have my every word, thought, and opinion dissected and perverted by certain readers who were offended by the plain truth and my personal opinions.
I find it interesting that someone found this blog yesterday by searching for my old blogger name. Should I be concerned that those who clearly can't handle the truth might actually be exposed to it by reading this blog? Should I ready myself for an attack? Should I go through the nonsense to delete this blog and create yet another one?
No, I don't think I should do a damn thing.
I don't feel it's my problem if someone is so freakishly obsessed with me, my words, or my thoughts that they actually took the time to search for me after I took great pains to remain anonymous these last several months. I guess I'm just not all that concerned if someone has actively sought me out because they were completely and totally cut from my life and my son's life as a result of their actions and perhaps this is a way to learn a little about what's going on with us. I guess at some point everyone realizes that their hateful actions have very real consequences; their poison pen acted as a saw to effectively cut us away forever. I can forgive their heinous words, but I will not forget them and I will never allow myself to be put in a position to be hurt by them again.
It's debatable whether or not they're missing out on anything important by not being allowed a relationship with me, but they absolutely are missing out on quite a lot by not being allowed contact with my son. He's a spectacular little boy and I'm actually thankful that he no longer asks about seeing those people because I found it very difficult to hold my tongue and simply say that we won't be seeing them again. I guess that's something they should have thought about before attacking this child's mother who absolutely did nothing to provoke such a venomous letter.
Lest you think I'm being petty and using my son as a weapon, it was their own stated wish that we remain out of their lives. I'm sure they had their own dark and bitter reasons, but thinking such hateful language was spewed forth because they are emotionally wounded almost makes me feel sorry for them. Almost. . .
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
More Fun From My Son
My son was tugging at the front of his pants and I inquired, "Does your wiener hurt?" His classic response? "No, mine wiener's fine."
My son woke up from his nap today and asserted that he was three. I agreed that he was. Then he said, "Mama's FIVE!" I replied that I was quite a bit older than that. His response to a woman who is impossibly vain about her age? "You're FORTY-FIVE!" Gee, thanks kid!
My son had what I'm pretty sure were his very first hot dogs this weekend and he loved them. I served Big Salad for dinner this evening and included kidney beans in the meal. My son apparently thought the beans looked like cut up hot dogs and he declared that he loved hot dogs. I let him know that those were kidney beans he was eating and he christened them, "Hot dog beans!"
My son asked for "more cookies" and that's not all that unusual because he loves to beg for cookies. What made me crack up was the way he said it. The best way I can describe it is that it sounded a bit like Pee-Wee Herman. My husband and I really lost it when I got the lil' guy to say, "I am not an animal."
My son stripped out of his clothes right before bathtime and delighted in dancing around the house while saying, "I'm stinky." Not for long, you little stinker!
* * *
My son woke up from his nap today and asserted that he was three. I agreed that he was. Then he said, "Mama's FIVE!" I replied that I was quite a bit older than that. His response to a woman who is impossibly vain about her age? "You're FORTY-FIVE!" Gee, thanks kid!
* * *
My son had what I'm pretty sure were his very first hot dogs this weekend and he loved them. I served Big Salad for dinner this evening and included kidney beans in the meal. My son apparently thought the beans looked like cut up hot dogs and he declared that he loved hot dogs. I let him know that those were kidney beans he was eating and he christened them, "Hot dog beans!"
* * *
My son asked for "more cookies" and that's not all that unusual because he loves to beg for cookies. What made me crack up was the way he said it. The best way I can describe it is that it sounded a bit like Pee-Wee Herman. My husband and I really lost it when I got the lil' guy to say, "I am not an animal."
* * *
My son stripped out of his clothes right before bathtime and delighted in dancing around the house while saying, "I'm stinky." Not for long, you little stinker!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Taking Weekends Off
I've had a few people notice that I didn't write any blog posts this last weekend. I also didn't write one the Sunday before last. I didn't really think anyone would notice and I purposely didn't submit anything. I decided to stop writing on the weekend for no other reasons than I'm ridiculously tired lately and my weekend blogs are historically not well-read or shared by many people. So there it is, my laziness and vanity dictate that I scale back to a Monday through Friday writing schedule.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Why is it. . .
- that there is only one serving of noodles when I'm queasy and only noodles sound good? Naturally, my son wanted noodles too.
- that my one month prescription contains only 50 suppositories? How exactly am I'm supposed to use two each day when I only get 50 for the month?
- that cable shows are so much better than what the networks offer?
- that buying another house has turned into a never-freaking-ending saga that goes on and on and on?
- that beer is suddenly the absolute worst-smelling substance on the planet?
- that Braveheart was a bigger success than Rob Roy?
- that my back begins to ache after riding in my husband's car for a few hours?
- that my husband's house is pretty much looking exactly the way I've wanted it to look and we're selling it to someone else to enjoy?
- that my son is so sweet one moment and such a terror the next?
- that I'm screwing around on-line when I could be catching up on The Borgias?
- that my one month prescription contains only 50 suppositories? How exactly am I'm supposed to use two each day when I only get 50 for the month?
- that cable shows are so much better than what the networks offer?
- that buying another house has turned into a never-freaking-ending saga that goes on and on and on?
- that beer is suddenly the absolute worst-smelling substance on the planet?
- that Braveheart was a bigger success than Rob Roy?
- that my back begins to ache after riding in my husband's car for a few hours?
- that my husband's house is pretty much looking exactly the way I've wanted it to look and we're selling it to someone else to enjoy?
- that my son is so sweet one moment and such a terror the next?
- that I'm screwing around on-line when I could be catching up on The Borgias?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
It's Mother's Day and I've tried my darndest to do as little as possible today so I'm taking the night off from blogging too.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
What An Exhausting Day
It's been a long time since I've done this, but I am just too exhausted to even write a post today. It doesn't seem like I did much today, but I attended a playdate, witnessed my toddler's lunchtime mega-tantrum (seriously, it was epic), and had a naptime that was frustrated a few times before I just gave up on getting any rest this afternoon. I headed off my son's inevitable dinnertime tantrum when he discovered that I wasn't up to take him to Chuck E. Cheese's by telling him that we'd visit his Grandma & Grandpa. That was awesome and it was fun, but we stayed late and now I'm totally beat. Besides, it's time for me to deal with my prog suppos so I have to go to lie down in bed anyway.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Joy + Fear = ?
Have you ever really wanted to say something (shout it from the rooftops, really), but were afraid to do so because you don't want to jinx it somehow? I'm in that spot at the moment. I know exactly what I want to write, but I'm afraid to be bold.
I tried to come up with another topic to blog about, but this one is all I can think about at the moment. I find it interesting that my joy and my fear are woven together in such a perfectly seamless tapestry of emotion. I can't feel one emotion without the other and that's frustrating to me. I want to only know the joy, but experience has taught me to know the fear as well.
Until I find the courage, the strength, to say what I want, know that there's something brewing over here. Something big, something special, something marvelously wonderful. Something I just can't bring myself to write about at this moment.
I tried to come up with another topic to blog about, but this one is all I can think about at the moment. I find it interesting that my joy and my fear are woven together in such a perfectly seamless tapestry of emotion. I can't feel one emotion without the other and that's frustrating to me. I want to only know the joy, but experience has taught me to know the fear as well.
Until I find the courage, the strength, to say what I want, know that there's something brewing over here. Something big, something special, something marvelously wonderful. Something I just can't bring myself to write about at this moment.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Funny Search Phrases
This site (Blogger) allows the blogger to check many different stats. I frequently raise my eyebrows or get a chuckle out of the Google search phrases/words that drive people to this blog. Here's a baker's dozen of my latest faves (in no particular order) and the posts that they directed web traffic toward:
"me so hooooorny" this blog post
"epiphany vibrator massager" this blog post
"mosque at ground zero robot chicken" this blog post
"my midlife crisis is killing me" this blog post
"why do thin mints suck now" this blog post
"guitarists chicks dig" this blog post
"blogger has a baby" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"dildo sculpture" this blog post
"sapphic love blog" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"fuck shopping!" this blog post
"quotes about selfies" this blog post
"jerking off blog" this blog post
"grey pubes pluck out" this blog post
I can see how my blog might show up on a Google search with some of those, but others are leave me thinking, "Uh, what?"
Do I ever come across as someone who is even remotely interested in sapphic love? I think it's pretty obvious that I like the c*ck so why did Google grab my blog with that search? I don't know, but it did and I was read by someone who wanted to know about getting a little chick on chick action. I'm afraid that I may have disappointed them. . .
I must say that the "dildo sculpture" search left me in stitches. Who in the world was looking for dildo sculptures? I know the blog post that showed up and was read, but really - what the heck?? Did they want a sculpture of dildos? Or were they as retarded as me wanted to molest some sculptures with dildos? I'm still chuckling over their motivation in doing the search.
The jerking off search made me initially wonder which post would show up and I quickly realized that it was one in which I mocked a commercial about a dumbbell that vibrates. It totally looks like manual masturbation of a man when you use said piece of exercise equipment. I had a good laugh about it and I hope that the reader on another continent got my sense of humor.
Anyway, I was amused by the searches that lead readers to my blog and hope that you are as well.
"me so hooooorny" this blog post
"epiphany vibrator massager" this blog post
"mosque at ground zero robot chicken" this blog post
"my midlife crisis is killing me" this blog post
"why do thin mints suck now" this blog post
"guitarists chicks dig" this blog post
"blogger has a baby" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"dildo sculpture" this blog post
"sapphic love blog" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"fuck shopping!" this blog post
"quotes about selfies" this blog post
"jerking off blog" this blog post
"grey pubes pluck out" this blog post
I can see how my blog might show up on a Google search with some of those, but others are leave me thinking, "Uh, what?"
Do I ever come across as someone who is even remotely interested in sapphic love? I think it's pretty obvious that I like the c*ck so why did Google grab my blog with that search? I don't know, but it did and I was read by someone who wanted to know about getting a little chick on chick action. I'm afraid that I may have disappointed them. . .
I must say that the "dildo sculpture" search left me in stitches. Who in the world was looking for dildo sculptures? I know the blog post that showed up and was read, but really - what the heck?? Did they want a sculpture of dildos? Or were they as retarded as me wanted to molest some sculptures with dildos? I'm still chuckling over their motivation in doing the search.
The jerking off search made me initially wonder which post would show up and I quickly realized that it was one in which I mocked a commercial about a dumbbell that vibrates. It totally looks like manual masturbation of a man when you use said piece of exercise equipment. I had a good laugh about it and I hope that the reader on another continent got my sense of humor.
Anyway, I was amused by the searches that lead readers to my blog and hope that you are as well.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Facebook Brings Unexpected Connections
I found my ex-husband on Facebook. I feaking found my ex-husband on Facebook!! I found him and. . .and. . .and I wanted to help him.
I am a soft touch and, God help me, I still feel for him. No, I am not in love with him. . . but the love I had for him at one time didn't cease to exist because I no longer wanted to be married to him. I have regarded him with furious anger to outright indifference for a long time and, over the last several years, I've realized that I want him to have the same happiness that I now experience.
I don't want anyone to suffer and, when I read of his pain and desperation, I couldn't help but be moved. I felt his hurt. I felt his loneliness. I felt his separation. I teared up and damn near wept for him and his situation.
And so I reached out to him.
I didn't offer him money or a place to stay or an invitation to get back together. I offered him hope and encouragement- along with my unsolicited advice. I thought it was important to tell him that I forgive him and that there is nothing anyone can do that is unforgivable because everything can be forgiven. He knows this truth, but sometimes we all need the reminder.
I know that I'll regret my kind & loving heart and I kinda feel like a total @sshole for caring at all, but there you go. I'd rather be the @sshole who is an @sshole for caring too much about people than the @sshole who is the @sshole for not caring at all about others.
I am a soft touch and, God help me, I still feel for him. No, I am not in love with him. . . but the love I had for him at one time didn't cease to exist because I no longer wanted to be married to him. I have regarded him with furious anger to outright indifference for a long time and, over the last several years, I've realized that I want him to have the same happiness that I now experience.
I don't want anyone to suffer and, when I read of his pain and desperation, I couldn't help but be moved. I felt his hurt. I felt his loneliness. I felt his separation. I teared up and damn near wept for him and his situation.
And so I reached out to him.
I didn't offer him money or a place to stay or an invitation to get back together. I offered him hope and encouragement- along with my unsolicited advice. I thought it was important to tell him that I forgive him and that there is nothing anyone can do that is unforgivable because everything can be forgiven. He knows this truth, but sometimes we all need the reminder.
I know that I'll regret my kind & loving heart and I kinda feel like a total @sshole for caring at all, but there you go. I'd rather be the @sshole who is an @sshole for caring too much about people than the @sshole who is the @sshole for not caring at all about others.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Did I Just Say THAT?!
My hubs and I are currently watching Chinatown. If you've never seen this modern-ish film noir (feels weird to call an over 30-year old film "modern"), I highly recommend it! Director Roman Polanski is most definitely a creepy fucking rapist and sodomizer of severely underaged girls, but that midget sure could make a freaking movie!
Anyway, we were watching the scene where Jake arrived at Catalina. His contact at Avalon harbor was driving a woody. My husband said, "That's a nice woody!" My response was a classic and one that I'm sure you can see a mile away. . .
"I'd rather ride on a woody than in a woody."
Yeah, I'm classy in that way. I always knew there was something he liked about me! I'm sure that my hubs found my admission tremendously amusing and enlightening. At least, I hope he did! haha
Anyway, we were watching the scene where Jake arrived at Catalina. His contact at Avalon harbor was driving a woody. My husband said, "That's a nice woody!" My response was a classic and one that I'm sure you can see a mile away. . .
"I'd rather ride on a woody than in a woody."
Yeah, I'm classy in that way. I always knew there was something he liked about me! I'm sure that my hubs found my admission tremendously amusing and enlightening. At least, I hope he did! haha
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Christmas Letter - II
Here is the Christmas letter I never sent out last year. No photos, of course, unless you'd like to see some awesome pics of our family. Let me know if you'd like to see some pics and I'll send them via e-mail. . .I have an entire year of my lil' guy and his super-cute photos.
"We ended 2009 full of promise and hope, sure that 2010 would be our year. Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way we expect. This year has been wildly difficult and, as a result, this Christmas letter is far more somber than one I'd normally write.
Where to begin? For starters, it's important to say that Bill, Heather, & (our son) are all enjoying good health at the moment. Our family is together and healthy and that is really the most important thing in life and it's what we are most thankful for every year, but especially this year.
We've attended eight funerals this year; we lost close friends, Bill's last grandparent, and, most painfully, we suffered the loss of Heather's only brother who died unexpectedly at age 41. One of Heather's family members endured six surgeries this year and very nearly passed away on two different occasions. There is a particular type of turmoil on two fronts that has been on-going since early this year and there is little chance for a rapid resolution.
It might sound like this has been a terrible year for our family. And, yes, it has been very difficult at times. Our faith has been challenged often in 2010. But these challenges have only served to push us closer to God, to lean on Him, and seek comfort in the shelter of His loving arms. I find it hard to say that I'm thankful for the pain that we've suffered this year, but I am thankful that I can always fall on my knees in prayer when I can't possibly stand on my own two feet - and 2010 brought many days just like that.
Our little (our son) is 2 1/2-years old now and, if we do say so ourselves, he is so smart and adorable. He was fully potty trained just before his second birthday and he transitioned out of the crib soon after to help curb night time accidents. His verbal communication isn't always clear, but he has a lot to say and he's become quite the chatterbox. Of course, being a typical toddler, some days are better than others. Most days are a joy and Heather stays busy taking him to playdates, pre-pre-school, and other activities with friends.
We are very happy to announce that (our son) will get a sibling next year. Yes, after 19-months of trying, Heather is eight-weeks pregnant. This baby has already brought us such happiness and we're eager to meet the final member of our family next August. (We lost this baby in the first trimester. . . )
If I've learned anything in this year, it's that life is fleeting. We might not see you as often as we would like, and some of you we haven't seen even once this year, but we still do care about you and want you in our lives. In the end, nothing else matters except the love we have for and demonstrate toward each other.
We end 2010 full of promise and hope, sure that 2011 will be our year.
* * *
"We ended 2009 full of promise and hope, sure that 2010 would be our year. Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way we expect. This year has been wildly difficult and, as a result, this Christmas letter is far more somber than one I'd normally write.
Where to begin? For starters, it's important to say that Bill, Heather, & (our son) are all enjoying good health at the moment. Our family is together and healthy and that is really the most important thing in life and it's what we are most thankful for every year, but especially this year.
We've attended eight funerals this year; we lost close friends, Bill's last grandparent, and, most painfully, we suffered the loss of Heather's only brother who died unexpectedly at age 41. One of Heather's family members endured six surgeries this year and very nearly passed away on two different occasions. There is a particular type of turmoil on two fronts that has been on-going since early this year and there is little chance for a rapid resolution.
It might sound like this has been a terrible year for our family. And, yes, it has been very difficult at times. Our faith has been challenged often in 2010. But these challenges have only served to push us closer to God, to lean on Him, and seek comfort in the shelter of His loving arms. I find it hard to say that I'm thankful for the pain that we've suffered this year, but I am thankful that I can always fall on my knees in prayer when I can't possibly stand on my own two feet - and 2010 brought many days just like that.
Our little (our son) is 2 1/2-years old now and, if we do say so ourselves, he is so smart and adorable. He was fully potty trained just before his second birthday and he transitioned out of the crib soon after to help curb night time accidents. His verbal communication isn't always clear, but he has a lot to say and he's become quite the chatterbox. Of course, being a typical toddler, some days are better than others. Most days are a joy and Heather stays busy taking him to playdates, pre-pre-school, and other activities with friends.
We are very happy to announce that (our son) will get a sibling next year. Yes, after 19-months of trying, Heather is eight-weeks pregnant. This baby has already brought us such happiness and we're eager to meet the final member of our family next August. (We lost this baby in the first trimester. . . )
If I've learned anything in this year, it's that life is fleeting. We might not see you as often as we would like, and some of you we haven't seen even once this year, but we still do care about you and want you in our lives. In the end, nothing else matters except the love we have for and demonstrate toward each other.
We end 2010 full of promise and hope, sure that 2011 will be our year.
"For unto you is born this day in the City of David
a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."
Luke 2:11"
Aw, well, we lost that darling baby. . .one day, God willing, we will give our darling boy a cherished sibling.
Aw, well, we lost that darling baby. . .one day, God willing, we will give our darling boy a cherished sibling.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Computers Suck
I am so completely pissed off with computers at the moment. Why is nothing simple when it comes to technology? ARGH! You suck, computers, you suck so much!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Fun Quotes from My Family
My son & I were driving to baby school the other day and he suddenly said, "Clapton-Time!" Yes, an Eric Clapton song was on the radio. I'm definitely back in the running for Mother of the Year, right??
My son was watching a youtube video of While My Guitar Gently Weeps from Concert for Bangladesh with my husband and, after it was over, the little one loudly exclaimed, "GOOD MUSIC!" Hubs and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement that our son might be the coolest toddler ever.
We were listening to Steve Miller Band in the car yesterday and he said, "Elvis." Uh, what? So he's two for three on music this week and that's perfectly respectable for a 2 1/2-year old.
My super-awesome quote of the day: "This curry is so damn good that I think my mouth is having an orgasm."
To my husband after leaving the restaurant and still carrying on about my awesome curry, "You're right to be jealous of my delicious curry because, while I'm jealous of your iPhone, at least my curry can actually get inside of me and give me great satisfaction." I totally do not want to know if there's an app for iPhone penetration and I will not do a GIS! I won't dangit!!
My son was watching a youtube video of While My Guitar Gently Weeps from Concert for Bangladesh with my husband and, after it was over, the little one loudly exclaimed, "GOOD MUSIC!" Hubs and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement that our son might be the coolest toddler ever.
We were listening to Steve Miller Band in the car yesterday and he said, "Elvis." Uh, what? So he's two for three on music this week and that's perfectly respectable for a 2 1/2-year old.
My super-awesome quote of the day: "This curry is so damn good that I think my mouth is having an orgasm."
To my husband after leaving the restaurant and still carrying on about my awesome curry, "You're right to be jealous of my delicious curry because, while I'm jealous of your iPhone, at least my curry can actually get inside of me and give me great satisfaction." I totally do not want to know if there's an app for iPhone penetration and I will not do a GIS! I won't dangit!!
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