I really wanted to address the South Park v militant Islamic fundamentalists brouhaha, but something else has preempted that post. Perhaps I can find a way to tie them both together? I'm crossing my fingers, now here I go:
I'm sorry to have to break it to all the 1st Amendment chest-thumpers, but free speech isn't exactly free. We do not have the right to say many things in this country. You don't have the right to shout, "FIRE!" in a crowded theater. You don't have the right to threaten bodily harm toward anyone - including, most importantly, the President. In some states, you don't even have the right to anonymously bully and harass people over the internet.
Politics is ugly and divisive. Individuals with no knowledge of this nation's history believe that politics is more partisan now than ever before. That is simply not true and it is only easy to believe that because we have far more information flying than at any point in history. We have several 24-hour news channels, we have countless legitimate news websites (all biased in some way to one side or the other) to peruse, and, of course, we have innumerable sources of information and opinion on the blogosphere.
I've become aware of a squabble on Facebook in the last few days. I don't want to direct any traffic to either group, so I will be calling them Group A and Group B. There is a group, Group B, that is outraged over another the very existence of another group, I'll call them Group A since they existed first. Group A is titled with a mock-prayer in which they indicated that God has taken various favorite celebrities in the last year. They finish the prayer by mentioning that our current President is their favorite. The implication, in case anyone is too thick to get it, is that they want God to take the President too.
I personally don't find the title terribly offensive, but I do acknowledge that I have a thick skin and it takes a lot to offend me. Of course, I clearly remember far worse things that the rabble said and illustrated about our last President. Comedians had an absolute field day with President Bush and I find this to be fairly tame in comparison. Besides, I'm not humorless and I realize that it is a joke. It's even somewhat funny, what with the very obvious misspellings in the title. I find it difficult to take anyone too seriously if they can't even be bothered to double-check their spelling. Of course, by stating that, I am virtually guaranteed to make several errors in this very post!
Back to the topic at hand, taken literally, they are praying for death in an otherwise healthy man. The head of our federal government. I can't speak for God, but I don't think those are the types of prayers that He's looking for from his people. Indeed, He wants us to pray for our leaders and respect & obey our government. Heck, we are even instructed to pay our taxes - even if we don't approve of how they are being used! See 1 Timothy 2:1-4, Romans 13:1-7, and Matthew 22:15-22 for a very clear examples. I think it's obvious though that the creator of Group A isn't a Christian. Therefore, why would his mock-prayer, to a God that they don't even believe in or respect, mean anything to anybody?
Side note: Before anyone starts squawking that the creator of Group A may be Jewish or Muslim, I'll grant those two possibilities because it is often bandied about that the three Abrahamic religions all share the same God. However, followers of Judaism and Islam don't exactly have a "Hey God, I need a favor. . ." relationship with their deity. I suppose it's possible, not probable, that a Jew or a Muslim created Group A, but I'm going to ignore the possibility since I just showed evidence why a Christian wouldn't create such a group, based on New Testament teachings, and I'm not well versed in the Torah or the Koran. More than likely, I'd guess the creator of Group A is an agnostic or an atheist because they are so irreverent.
Again, I get the joke. I just don't think it's all that funny, but I do recognize that humor is subjective and acknowledge that the title of this group may be the height of cleverness to others. Frankly, the biggest prank of all would be if Group A were created by an Obama-supporter! Now that irony would tickle my funnybone.
Look, I didn't vote for the man, but he is in fact our sitting President. I believe he is still deserving of the honor and respect of that position, even if you detest his policies. Even if his personal behavior is a complete embarrassment to the country. Even if you hate him personally, assuming you know him personally. He is still our President for three more years and no amount of bellyaching is going to change that fact. If, God forbid, anything happened to our President, remember who would take his place. . .
I realize that I take a more mature view on this than most people on the left or the right. To those who were full of hate & vitriol during the Bush years and to those who are full of hate & vitriol now, I say this: You can disagree with civility. You can even decide to agree to disagree. It's really not that tough to suck it up and be a grown up about such things. Your anger and frustration is openly mocked by the so-called other side and your behavior, more often than not, only serves to highlight your childishness.
To Group A: Congratulations. Your trolling and attention-whoring has caught the attention of thin-skinned humorless prigs. Enjoy it and try not to make too big of an ass of yourselves.
To Group B: Do not feed trolls and do not pay attention to attention whores because doing so only encourages their outrageous words and behavior. Forming Group B only serves to get them off, so to speak, because they've garnered attention. Had you ignored them, they would have been easily forgotten by next week.
How does this tie in with the South Park v militant Islamic fundamentalists? Well, it's really the same damn thing, isn't it? South Park pokes fun at what's "allowed" in regard to images of Muhammad and, predictably, militant Islamic fundamentalists react as we have come to expect from followers of the "Religion of Peace." Matt Parker and Trey Stone are Group A personified. Militant Islamic fundamentalists are Group B personified - only they tend to murder people who they disagree with instead of forming ineffectual Facebook groups.
Personally, I see no problem with South Park showing Muhammad. They did it like nine years ago on the Super Best Friends episode. No one flipped out. No one called for death. No one really seemed to care at all - I guess because they were lampooning so many other religious figures. Before anyone suggests that I feel this way because they don't rip on Jesus, you really need to see the series. They rip on everybody. Everybody!
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a joke is just a joke. You might not find it funny, but it is still just a joke. Get over it and move on with your life or you run risk of finding yourself in the trollish attention-whore category as well.
I hope all this made sense, I wrote it while my son was busy watching his beloved Elmo video! :-)
Showing posts with label response. Show all posts
Showing posts with label response. Show all posts
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
You Have Cancer - Good Luck with That?!
What are you supposed to say when someone tells you that they have cancer? It's not good news, so a hearty congratulations isn't in order. But it isn't necessarily a death sentence, so you want to go easy on the reminiscing. And platitudes are so meaningless that you might as well save your breath. So what exactly are you supposed to say?
I've been told that a loved one has cancer three times in my life. The first person who told me they had cancer was my best friend, Vernissa. She called me late one evening and I asked what was wrong. She replied, "I have cancer, girl." The news hit me like a sledgehammer, but I asked questions about what stage the cancer was and, though it already sounded ominous, I remained upbeat and asked about her treatment plan. V elected to treat her cancer with a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. The cancer was gone after the first round of treatments. But it quickly returned - seemingly stronger than before. It spread from her breasts to her lymph system, bones, and brain. One of my most painful memories is remembering how tiny she looked lying in a coma in that hospital bed at the very end. She almost looked like a sleeping child if you could ignore the equipment that kept her living. She was never married and she never gave birth, but she packed a lot of living in her life - even after her diagnosis. She had a true joie de vivre. And she died when she was only 36 years old.
The second person who told me they had cancer is my good friend, Mary. We were at a party and I found out because another friend (who is also a co-worker of hers) was asking about her treatment options. Mary also had breast cancer. I heard this news not long after Vernissa's passing and I couldn't really offer any encouragement because I kept thinking that cancer had just killed my best friend. I literally had nothing to say and the news completely took me by surprise because she's one of the healthiest people I know. She works out every day of the week before 5:00 am, she participates in 100 mile bike rides, and she eats a very healthy diet. She also chose to treat her cancer with a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. One of her biggest concerns was whether or not she'd still be able to work out while undergoing treatment. Mary beat her cancer and is living cancer-free.
The third person who shared their cancer diagnosis with me is my father. We already knew that he has a potentially life-threatening health problem and he just got the cancer diagnosis over the holidays. I assumed something was up because they called to ask if we could get together for dinner and we generally don't see each other unless we're celebrating a special occasion. Though they live less than 20 miles away, I guess we just aren't that close these days. My head wasn't in the dinner because I had an emotionally trying day and I had my own bad news that I was mulling over. They casually dropped his colon cancer diagnosis in dinner conversation. I responded that I knew something was up because they were acting strange and I asked if it has metastasized. They replied that at this point it is believed to be contained, so I inquired about the treatment plan. As far as they knew it would be effectively treated by removing a couple feet of his intestine. I replied that if you have to have cancer, this sounds like the best way to have it and the outlook sounds good.
They made a big deal of telling me that my siblings had already been told about this colon cancer diagnosis. I didn't quite understand the point of telling me that, and I still don't, but okay. I explained that they should have called me while they were calling everyone else. They kept going on and on about how they wanted to tell me in person. Why, exactly, I don't know.
I could tell that they were a little puzzled at my response because they kept repeating themselves. It's as though they were looking for a different reaction so they kept rewording things to get a new response. They even went so far as to imply that I should have told them that I wouldn't be up for company. My husband has told me that my reaction left my parents highly perplexed.
I'm not a highly emotional person and I have to be somewhat guarded with these two people anyway. I would have probably responded differently a couple of years ago, but I wasn't going to fake a reaction to please their expectations for drama - so sue me. I would have felt more concerned if they told me that his cancer has metastasized and it's considered Stage II or higher. But at this point it hasn't and it isn't.
So what exactly would have been the correct reaction? What were they looking for me to do? Was I supposed to cry and tear at my clothes? Would it have been more appropriate to say, "Wow, you have cancer. Good luck with that!", and punch him on the arm? Should I have begun wailing and moaning in grief? I mean, it sounds pretty straightforward and the prognosis sounds excellent. It isn't like he has a pancreatic cancer or lung cancer diagnosis. It's colon cancer and it's very treatable if it's caught early - and it sounds like it has been.
Maybe I'm a jerk. Maybe I'm a lousy daughter. Maybe I should have responded like an emotional wreck if it would have pleased them. But, in retrospect, I wouldn't have responded any differently. I'm not a fraud and, like them or not, my thoughts and feelings were true.
I've been told that a loved one has cancer three times in my life. The first person who told me they had cancer was my best friend, Vernissa. She called me late one evening and I asked what was wrong. She replied, "I have cancer, girl." The news hit me like a sledgehammer, but I asked questions about what stage the cancer was and, though it already sounded ominous, I remained upbeat and asked about her treatment plan. V elected to treat her cancer with a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. The cancer was gone after the first round of treatments. But it quickly returned - seemingly stronger than before. It spread from her breasts to her lymph system, bones, and brain. One of my most painful memories is remembering how tiny she looked lying in a coma in that hospital bed at the very end. She almost looked like a sleeping child if you could ignore the equipment that kept her living. She was never married and she never gave birth, but she packed a lot of living in her life - even after her diagnosis. She had a true joie de vivre. And she died when she was only 36 years old.
The second person who told me they had cancer is my good friend, Mary. We were at a party and I found out because another friend (who is also a co-worker of hers) was asking about her treatment options. Mary also had breast cancer. I heard this news not long after Vernissa's passing and I couldn't really offer any encouragement because I kept thinking that cancer had just killed my best friend. I literally had nothing to say and the news completely took me by surprise because she's one of the healthiest people I know. She works out every day of the week before 5:00 am, she participates in 100 mile bike rides, and she eats a very healthy diet. She also chose to treat her cancer with a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. One of her biggest concerns was whether or not she'd still be able to work out while undergoing treatment. Mary beat her cancer and is living cancer-free.
The third person who shared their cancer diagnosis with me is my father. We already knew that he has a potentially life-threatening health problem and he just got the cancer diagnosis over the holidays. I assumed something was up because they called to ask if we could get together for dinner and we generally don't see each other unless we're celebrating a special occasion. Though they live less than 20 miles away, I guess we just aren't that close these days. My head wasn't in the dinner because I had an emotionally trying day and I had my own bad news that I was mulling over. They casually dropped his colon cancer diagnosis in dinner conversation. I responded that I knew something was up because they were acting strange and I asked if it has metastasized. They replied that at this point it is believed to be contained, so I inquired about the treatment plan. As far as they knew it would be effectively treated by removing a couple feet of his intestine. I replied that if you have to have cancer, this sounds like the best way to have it and the outlook sounds good.
They made a big deal of telling me that my siblings had already been told about this colon cancer diagnosis. I didn't quite understand the point of telling me that, and I still don't, but okay. I explained that they should have called me while they were calling everyone else. They kept going on and on about how they wanted to tell me in person. Why, exactly, I don't know.
I could tell that they were a little puzzled at my response because they kept repeating themselves. It's as though they were looking for a different reaction so they kept rewording things to get a new response. They even went so far as to imply that I should have told them that I wouldn't be up for company. My husband has told me that my reaction left my parents highly perplexed.
I'm not a highly emotional person and I have to be somewhat guarded with these two people anyway. I would have probably responded differently a couple of years ago, but I wasn't going to fake a reaction to please their expectations for drama - so sue me. I would have felt more concerned if they told me that his cancer has metastasized and it's considered Stage II or higher. But at this point it hasn't and it isn't.
So what exactly would have been the correct reaction? What were they looking for me to do? Was I supposed to cry and tear at my clothes? Would it have been more appropriate to say, "Wow, you have cancer. Good luck with that!", and punch him on the arm? Should I have begun wailing and moaning in grief? I mean, it sounds pretty straightforward and the prognosis sounds excellent. It isn't like he has a pancreatic cancer or lung cancer diagnosis. It's colon cancer and it's very treatable if it's caught early - and it sounds like it has been.
Maybe I'm a jerk. Maybe I'm a lousy daughter. Maybe I should have responded like an emotional wreck if it would have pleased them. But, in retrospect, I wouldn't have responded any differently. I'm not a fraud and, like them or not, my thoughts and feelings were true.
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