Friday, July 29, 2011

When Did You Stop Wearing. . .

your child?

I'm 17-weeks pregnant today and I still wear my 3-year old fairly often.  Yes, I know he can walk.  Yes, I know that he's not a "baby" any longer.  Yes, I know that several people think I'm totally bonkers for wearing him at all - especially while pregnant AND in the hot Summer months.

Why do I still wear him?  Mainly because wearing him is sometimes the safest and easiest option when we're in public and he's only 3-years old so his legs tire far easier and earlier than mine.  Also, he's pretty tall and it's becoming impossible to find a stroller that he can comfortably ride in for any long periods of time.  And, I confess, whether at home or in public, both my son and I like the closeness that wearing him provides.

I weighed him today and he's finally 30-pounds.  I realize that he's far from being a heavy load, but I know that my back will only continue to ache and it will get worse as this pregnancy progresses.  At this point, however, it's not that big of a deal to toss him on my back in the Ergo or the Boba or to let him ride on my hip in the pouch or the ring sling.

But the clock is ticking and I will have to decide pretty quick when I'm going to stop wearing him.  I don't want to bar him from riding on my back or hip too close to my due date because I don't want him to draw the connection that his loss of ridership privileges is the baby's fault.  Depending on how I deliver this baby, I may not even be able to pick him up for weeks afterward - let alone hitch a ride for extended periods on my body.  Besides, I'm assuming that I'll be wearing the baby all cozied up in a wrap so that only leaves my back available for toddler rides anyway.

So, back to my original question, when did you stop wearing your child(ren)?  Did you wear your kiddos during pregnancy?  When did you stop wearing them if you wore them in pregnancy?  Was your older child jealous that the new baby was being worn and they were not?  If you had a c/s, did the older child ever want to be worn again once you were able to wear them?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I'm Back in the Saddle Again!

I thought the Aerosmith song reference is appropriate because I'm finally allowed to get back on the horse. . .so to speak.  Giddy-up!

Some more good news from my OB appointment yesterday is that my sex restriction has FINALLY been lifted.  I haven't been allowed to have sex since I got a positive pregnancy test because I ended up experiencing over a month of spotting and bleeding.  I've continued to have occasional spotting episodes so it's officially been over three months of no sex up in my house.  Not only no sex, but total pelvic rest means no masturbation and no orgasms.  Nothing, nada, zilch, zip.

As I told my OB at my previous appointment, it's become a no man's land down below.  It's been so unused that I'm pretty sure that my daily shower is the only thing keeping the cobwebs out of my c*nt.  My special fun zone was totally shut down and out of operation.  I was seriously considering rubbing myself against random strangers on the street at one point to see if it would bring at least a tiny measure of sexual satisfaction, but frottage isn't really my thing.  That and I don't really want to be labeled as a sex offender.

I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that I still experience spotting episodes.  When do I experience spotting?  After orgasm.  Now, before you think that I've been flouting the pelvic rest rule and engaging in some masturbatory fun, I feel compelled to defend myself and say that I haven't.  Only the love and concern that I have for my unborn baby could keep me from going for it on my own.  Seriously, this has been a ridiculously long dry spell in my sex life.

So how is it that I'm coming?  Well, I've been experiencing spontaneous orgasms in my sleep.  Actually, they wake me up out of a sound sleep.  I know, I know!  I'm a 35-year old middle-aged woman, not a 15-year old teenaged boy.  It is what it is and I can't explain it.

My OB was surprised that I'm having what can only be called wet dreams.  I told him that it's not like I'm doing it on purpose and I have no idea why it's happening, but that it is distressing because it results in spotting.  Of course, if it weren't for the spotting that occurs afterward, I'd be pretty freaking thrilled with myself and mentally giving my snatch a high-five. 

After I explained that I'm not intentionally doing anything to make myself come, he casually mentioned that some women would kill to have such a pleasant wake up call and indicated that he's never had a patient tell him that they have a similar experience.  I don't disagree that I'm damn lucky that this is happening (again, if it weren't for the spotting, I'd be totally thrilled), but I find it hard to believe that he's never had another patient have spontaneous orgasms in their sleep.  He's been an OB/GYN for nearly 30 years and has probably had thousands upon thousands of patients so I can't possibly be the only one!  Later, in his office, I pushed him on that point. 

He insists that he's never had another patient indicate that they have had a similar occurrence and, due to the design of female anatomy and her sexual response, it's highly unusual to have a spontaneous orgasm with absolutely zero physical stimulation.  Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with what it takes to make me come so I already know that.  I smirked and nodded my head when he basically told me to not worry about it and just relax & enjoy.

I'm hoping to get some reassurance from readers that spontaneous orgasm is something that happens all the time in pregnancy - even if no one has told my doctor about it.  I mean, I can't be that friggin' unusual. . .can I?  Speaking anonymously, have you ever had this happen?  If you told your doctor about it (frankly, I wouldn't have if it weren't for that stupid spotting), what did they say?  My fingers are crossed that I'm not officially titled The World's Horniest Pregnant Woman.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

An Interesting Appointment

I'm 16w5d pregnant now and had a doctor's appointment today.  A few interesting things were discussed and I suspect that I'll end up with a few blog posts based on what transpired at today's visit.

We were happy to hear that my baby still has a good & strong heartbeat.  My OB was less happy to hear that I still have spotting episodes and he was surprised to hear what happens just prior to this spotting, but more on that tomorrow.  Yeah, tomorrow's post will be a doozy.  I'm measuring right even though I've only gained two pounds according to their scale.  Somewhere between my house and their office I lost two pounds (because I've actually gained four pounds), but I guess there's no need to sweat my weight since he didn't flip out over it or anything.

He asked to do a quick pelvic exam (boy, am I glad that I decided to get friendly with my razor in the shower this morning!) to determine if there was any obvious reason for the continued spotting and, as predicted, found nothing.  Well, he found that my cervix is still nice & tightly closed, but that was expected.  I almost made a crack about my super-strength cervix and somehow was able to restrain myself.  I'm pretty sure that I have the dubious distinction of being his great big horn-dog patient, so I figured there's no need to try to be funny too.  Besides, I don't do funny and I really don't do funny when a man who is sort of a stranger is three deep inside me.

So that's it for my post this evening. . .I have some, ahem, long overdue business to attend to.  ;)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

How to Help and How to Annoy a New Mother

Whether you have had one child or a dozen and whether you physically birthed the child or not, life with a brand new baby can be hectic for at least a period of time.  A dear friend of mine had a baby recently and I found myself remembering the exhausting newborn days.  A few things stand out to me about that time and here are the things that I found to be the good, the bad, and the ugly of early parenthood.

The Good
- My husband took nearly a full week off of work to be with me.  That was sooo helpful because I couldn't even lift the baby in the first few days and having him there was a great comfort to me.
- Between my husband and my MIL, I never changed even one dirty diaper in my son's first week of life.  I didn't see even one meconium-filled diaper and don't feel that I missed out on anything!
- Friends and family brought us dinners every day for nearly two full weeks.  I can't stress enough how much those meals were welcomed and appreciated when I didn't have the energy to cook and couldn't even manage my way around the kitchen. 
- A lactation consultant who seemed really interested in helping me establish an awesome breastfeeding relationship by helping me work on getting a good latch.  This was in contrast to the first LC I saw while still in the hospital.
- The friend who volunteered to watch our son when he was a couple months old so that we could go to dinner.  I still find it difficult to leave my son with a sitter who he doesn't know and it was incredibly kind that this friend offered because hubs & I definitely needed the time to reconnect at that point.

The Bad
- People who suggested that I stop struggling with breastfeeding and just go with a bottle of formula.  It is no one's business how any mother chooses to feed her child.  Period.  So STFU about it unless you are asked for your opinion or advice.
- People who suddenly developed opinions on my dietary choices. . .and I lost my pregnancy weight by my post-partum checkup!  Yeah, I gained that weight right back (and then some!) once my son was weaned, but it was gone for a period of time.  A woman's doctor is just about the only one who can voice concern about her weight.  If you aren't her personal physician, you just sound like a jerk.
- People who give unrequested advice.  OMFG, this one gripes me!  It's unbelievable how many people try to undermine a new mother's authority over her own child.  The worst was when my husband would be given some choice nugget and he'd take it back to me because then it felt like my husband was being used against me.
- People who expected their dishes back within some unknown timeframe and badger the mother about them.  It is very kind to bring meals to a new mother, but it is very stressful if you call every day to inquire about getting back your dishes.  It's even more stressful if the mother has had a c/s and can't even freaking drive yet!  Drop off meals in dishes that you don't need back right away (or dishes that are disposable) or don't bother.
- People who try to scare you about your new baby by indicating that something completely normal and expected is abnormal and unexpected.  New babies generally do not sleep through the night, new babies do go through a peak fussy period, new babies do experience growth spurts in which they nurse significantly more than they did the week previously, and newborns tend to spit up a bit.

The Ugly
- People who stopped by unannounced and wanted to see the baby.  When a new mother is walking around nearly topless and totally sleep deprived 24/7, this is not an appreciated visit and her ability to shoot the breeze is impossibly impaired.
- People who stayed for what seemed like forever.  When you're operating on two total hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, an hour-long visit is just too long and it's time that could be used for napping.
-  People who are uptight about Thank You notes.  Look, I am kind of obsessive about writing out thank yous and I do it the day that I receive a gift so if you didn't receive one from me at some point, it was most likely lost in the mail (or I held it because I usually see you in person).  But I wouldn't dream of acting like a snarky witch if a new mother hasn't found the time to write a stupid thank you note.  Seriously, is the recipient going to frame it or something?
- People who have the nerve to ask when you're going to clean and do housework.  WTF?!  I swear that my response will be, "as soon as you can help me," if I am ever asked such a ridiculously rude question ever again.
- People who question your parental choices.  I ordinarily have pretty thick skin and can take criticism fairly well, but not when I'm in the midst of the post-partum hormone crash.  I think that these people have no idea how lousy they made me feel when I was at my most vulnerable.

What are your top tips for helping out a new mother?  Do you have any early motherhood horror stories?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Moderation or Censorship?

I'm don't have an axe to grind here because it's never happened to me that I know of, but I've noticed that some bloggers who I follow share a particularly nasty habit:  they remove comments from their blog and their Facebook wall. 

No, I will not divulge the names of these blogs because I'm not interested in driving traffic their way or starting an internet bitch-fight with someone who I don't even know.  Besides, I think we all can agree that women are bitchy enough to each other in real life so there's no need to act cunty toward a stranger who's never personally done a single thing to me.

Why would someone want to delete comments from their blog or their FB wall?  It could be that the comment is spam, in which case it's perfectly understandable why someone would want it deleted.  Unfortunately, I find that all too often comments are deleted because the commenter is being combative or because the author of the blog simply disagrees with the comment that was made.  Whatever the reason, the author of the blog justifies their decision by indicating that it's their space to moderate and they can delete whatever they'd like.  I don't disagree with that sentiment though I wish they'd be honest about what they're really doing when they remove comments.

What is it that they're doing?  What habit do I find so distasteful?  Actively engaging in censorship. 

I'm more than a little disgusted that creative individuals would purposely censor others.  I'm not against moderation, but I am against censorship and removing disliked comments is most definitely censorship.  If you think I'm incorrect, please enlighten me and let me know what else it should be called.

My blog only has 20 followers and I've sometimes received comments that I think are a little dickish.  That's life, right?  It's true that I can't imagine how irritated bloggers with thousands of followers must feel by daily dickish comments made by women who have so much bitchiness that it overflows their real lives and spills out on the internet.  However, as adults we generally accept that everyone doesn't always agree with our viewpoints.  Get that?  Everyone who hears or reads what we have to say is not going to agree.  And, FFS, you should expect to receive flak if you write about something controversial.  You would be a moron if you don't expect a strong counter to your own strong opinion.

I don't live off of asskissing (either variety) and think that life would be really boring without a little debate every now and then.  As the tired saying goes, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen."  I think a nice alternative is, If you're intolerant toward a difference of opinion, why are you busy voicing your own?

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Whole You is the Best Gift to Your Child

A good friend and I had a deep conversation around five months ago.  She mentioned that her therapist said that a whole you is the best gift to give to your child.  A whole you is the best gift to give your child. 

I've been pondering this comment ever since we had the conversation. I have several thoughts and opinions on the matter (shocking, right?), but I'm interested in reading what other people think. 

What do you think it means to be the "whole you?"  Do you think the "whole you" is the best gift you can give your child?  Why or why not?  Do you feel like you're being the "whole you?"  Why or why not?  How do you keep your self "whole?'

Thursday, July 21, 2011

You Talk To Your Children With That Mouth?!

I suppose an alternate title for this post could be Be Careful What You Call Them Because Kids Tend to Live Up to Labels.

I was at Knott's Berry Farm for around nine-hours the other day.  I wasn't able to go on many rides so I was able to do quite a bit of people watching while I was there.  Not just watching, but I unfortunately got the full hearing experience too. 

Boy, did I my ears get worked over!  I'm certainly not a prude - as anyone who reads what I write or knows me personally can no doubt attest.  I've been known to have quite the, ahem, colorful vocabulary, but I could not believe some of the things that I heard people saying out loud at a family-friendly venue.  Even worse, I was stunned by the things some people said to their own children while at a theme park for what I assume was supposed to be a day of fun for the family.

Here is the worst thing I overheard:

"You little fucker!  Stop acting like a prick!"

A trashy mother talking to an insolent teenager, right?  Wrong. 

The child was perhaps four years old and was bawling his eyes out while Sharpie-eyebrow mother walked ahead, tossing insults over her shoulders.  Sure, it appeared that he'd been teasing his little sister, but come on!  Who talks to their kid that way?  Even on their worst day, what parent would say those things to a little kid?

Can that boy possibly have a bright future when he's been the target of such a heinous verbal attack by his mother?  Yes, I know that this was just one incident and I don't know all the details.  However, I can't help but think that this poor boy has probably heard a lot worse at home and is probably berated unmercifully if she's unashamed and able to talk to her child like this in public.

I'm trying really hard to tamp down anything in this post that sounds like I'm up on my high horse because I know that I suck as a parent plenty of times too.  I've got to say though that I'm appalled by the way some people choose to talk to their children.  Again, I know that I've bit my son's head off plenty of times. . .but I would never consider calling him hurtful names and cursing at him.  Yes, I reserve the right to reverse my opinion on the matter when the teen years come around!

I know that kids can go totally bonkers with all the sights and sounds of an amusement park.  I know that they can easily get whipped into a sugar frenzy.  I know that sometimes they can really get on their parents' nerves.  I have a high energy kid, I get that it's exhausting and that sometimes all patience is gone.

What I don't get is how anyone can possibly justify cursing at their child while calling them a mean name.  I really do not understand this at all.  Frankly, I hope to never understand it lest I become too comfortable with the notion and risk becoming that which I despise.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bumps, Thumps, & Twinges

I'll be 16-weeks in two days and I think there's some movement afoot.  You know the kind of movement I'm talking about; the kind that makes you smile and offers further undeniable proof (besides a heartbeat, of course) that there's a tiny living being inside of your own body.  Yep, I'm talking about fetal movement.

It started a couple of weeks ago.  It was just a random bump or twinge that I could feel here and there every now and then.  It certainly isn't what I remember fetal movement felt like.  After all, I was pretty sure that my son was going to kick his way right out of my abdomen toward the end of that pregnancy and I kinda expected a stronger feeling.  This was a far more subtle sensation and, had I not been resting when I felt it, it's something I easily could have missed.

Unsure if I was feeling fetal movement or just random gas bubbles, I forgot about it.  Until I felt it again.  A soft thump inside that wasn't accompanied by any pain.  I rolled to my back to feel around and clearly felt my fundus (how's that for your word of the day!) a couple of inches below my belly-button and the hard little lump inside my uterus.  I was trying to get baby to give a kick or throw a punch at the pressure of my hand, two things my son would have definitely done, but had no luck so I filed the incident away in my mind in case it happened again.

I've been noticing these bumps, thumps, & twinges for a couple of weeks now.  There is no discernible pattern that I can see other than I only feel them when I'm at rest and able to notice that they've actually happened.  I have been experiencing a bit of gas lately, thanks to that delightful side effect of pregnancy - a sluggish digestive system, but I'm beginning to think that it might be fetal movement that I'm feeling rather than gas bubbles.

I didn't feel any fetal movement with my son until I was well beyond twenty-weeks so this seems ridiculously early to me if I am indeed feeling fetal movement.  What are your thoughts?  When did you first feel fetal movement in your pregnancy(ies)?

Monday, July 18, 2011

My Big Mouth - Weekend Edition

This was a banner weekend for my big mouth!  Here's a sampling of some things that annoyed or amused those who were near enough to hear me.

I put all my eggs in my butt. - This might sound like a really gross fetish, but I meant to say that I put all my eggs in one basket and that basket is my butt. . .actually, that sounds horrible too.  Perhaps I should have just left the conversation alone without my input.  I kept trying to explain my comment and finally just had to give up.

It's really not funny.  - This doesn't sound so amusing at first glance, but it was accompanied by peals of shrieking laughter that was brought on by thinking about my previous comment.  What topic made me have such an opposite reaction of my words?  A man who my husband knew was hit by a car a long time ago.  I blame my husband for bringing it up at the height of my funny fit because it made me look like a heartless @sshole.

There's a biological reason why I sometimes have an inappropriate response to conversations and it's that I'm a dick.  - Good excuse or nice try?  You decide.

I don't expect to see a low bid paint job on a house that's priced significantly higher than any other house in the neighborhood.  - What's that?  This doesn't sound so bad?  Well, it is when the woman of the house unexpectedly showed up and overheard this comment and the rest of my complaints about her house.  Ouch!

He's being a joy kill.  - Of course the last two words are transposed, but my head was hurting too much to even bother with trying to correct myself.  No worries, my 16-year old nephew took the opportunity to crack wise.

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Lasting Ache of Parental Rejection

A friend was lamenting recently that her child's father is a truly absentee parent.  They are divorced and, as is sadly often the case, the non-custodial parent seems to be confusing their offspring with their former spouse.  He not only doesn't contact his child, but he doesn't even appear to want any kind of relationship with his firstborn.  In his anger toward his ex-wife (I guess), he is willing to reject and hurt his own child.

Words can't express how I feel for her child.  A lasting ache is created when a parent deliberately wounds their child.  It doesn't matter why the injury occurs, though it frequently seems to be for completely selfish reasons on the part of the parent, and it doesn't matter how old the child is who has been hurt.  Physical and emotional wounds may heal, scars may fade, but the ache remains and it will always be a painful reminder for the child.  The sting of parental rejection never goes away - NEVER!  The child may move on and appear to be fine, but they are painfully aware that they were rejected and hurt by one person who should always be there for them. . .their own parent.

I can only believe that one day this individual will regret his neglect and he'll realize that he missed out on quite a lot. No, not just that he missed out; that he CHOSE to miss out.  He abdicated his position as father. If his child can somehow find the desire to forgive and try to forget this emotional abuse (and, make no mistake, that's exactly what it is), good.  If not, well, who could blame the poor soul for staying far, far away?

The good news is that one can always choose to rise above and be better than that which was modeled to us.  The most carelessly injured women can become the best mothers and the most heartlessly treated men can become the best fathers.  We can always choose to do better than was done to us.  Unfortunately, it doesn't always turn out that way and sometimes the abuse will continue to play out for generations. . .the root being one parent and their horrible decisions. 

Parenthood is a great responsibility and it's a damn shame that all parents don't realize this fact and rise to the challenge of the role that they willingly chose to accept.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Happiness Tied to Sadness

One of my brother's children is out for a long desired visit.  They had never met before, but I'm pretty sure my son has a new best friend!  The kiddo wakes up and asks if he'll be seeing "cousin" at Grandma & Grandpa's that day.  He had the best fun today while cousin was trying to teach him how to swim.

Watching them play in the pool today was sweet, but it did leave me feeling a tender pang because I wish that my brother had been able to meet my boy.  The age difference between our kids is greater than the age difference that separated us, but I couldn't help thinking that the two of them playing was probably very similar to how we played together in our youth. . .so many years ago.  It's been over ten months and I still miss him so much that I find myself silently crying as I drift off to sleep at least one or two times per week.

Sometimes happiness brings up sadness and that was certainly the case while I was watching our kids today.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Six Things I No Longer Worry About in Pregnancy

I was obsessed with a lot of stupid things when I was pregnant with my son.  How stupid?  See the list of things I'm no longer concerned about and judge for yourself.

My belly button - I was such a total spaz about keeping an innie that I actually would poke my belly button for several minutes each day in an attempt to keep it in.  I never did pop an outie, but I can't really say if all my navel poking had anything to do with that outcome.  This time around, I just don't care what happens to my belly button because suddenly sporting an outie would hardly be the worst thing I've ever experienced.

Weight gain - I really obsessed over my daily eating while I was PG with my son.  I credit that attention with keeping my weight gain to a sensible 27-pounds.  You know, I have totally given up any worries about weight this time around and am only eating while following my body's cues of hunger and fullness.  I'm also only listening to my body when it comes to what I eat - with the exception of looking for calcium wherever I can handle it.  Guess what?  I've gained significantly fewer pounds at this point in pregnancy than I did before.

Stretch marks - I didn't get a single stretch mark on my body during pregnancy and that's great, but I did end up with a roadmap of stretch marks on my breasts once my boobs finished growing and breastfeeding began.  Those stretch marks used to bug me, but I stopped caring about them when I realized that the only reason I had them is because my breasts grew so heavy with the milk that nourished my baby.  I'm proud of what my breasts did and the stretch marks are just a souvenir of a very special time.  I'm not saying that I want stretch marks from pregnancy, but I'm not particularly concerned about them either.

Hairy breasts - I don't have dog tits or anything, but sometimes I do get a few of these weird dark hairs around my areolas.  I suppose it's a hormonal thing because it's not really a problem when I'm not PG.  I used to be mortified by those hairs (as if I walk around topless all the time and everyone can see them or something), but find that simply plucking them out is a solution that easily works.  And I guess that I don't really care about random hairs now since I just admitted to having them on a public site.

Acne - I suffered with severe acne as a teenager/young adult and it's a big deal to me when I get even a single pimple.  I felt so horrible about the occasional breakout that I'd experience while pregnant that I'd have rather gained an additional 27-pounds of pregnancy weight than have another zit.  I don't know if I can thank the progesterone or what, but I have a raging case of bacne right now (with a few facial pimples thrown in for god measure) and it's not that big of a deal because, let's face it, a few zits is hardly the end of the world.

Childbirth - I've previously detailed that a drug-free vaginal birth is like my personal holy grail.  I felt like a failure for YEARS not achieving that outcome when I delivered my son.  I changed my feelings toward my son's birth a few months ago in the wake of my failed natural miscarriage and I realize now that I just don't care how my children are born as long as they are born healthy and I am able to care for them.  Cut out or pushed out, I just don't care.

Have I mellowed out because I'm older?  Because I tried so hard to get pregnant?  Or because it's old hat when it's the second, third, or forth time around?  I don't know.  I just find myself thinking about things that I feel matter more than these.  You know, things like fetal heartbeats and the like.

What things did you worry about in pregnancy?  Did you worry about any of these things?  Did you find your concerns were lessened in subsequent pregnancies?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

You Can't Keep Good Breasts Down!

I'm currently 14w4d pregnant.  Though I went up a few cup sizes by the time I gave birth to my son, I was surprised that my breasts already grew by two cup sizes well before the end of the first trimester with this pregnancy.  Hubs thought my twins looked luscious, but he was forbidden from touching them because they were painfully tender.  If you've been pregnant, you probably understand.  My sweater enhancers are no longer nearly as sore, but I'm thinking he won't be interested in my bodacious ta-tas because of a new development. 

I'm leaking.

Yes, my breasts are already leaking.  I'm barely in the second trimester and my bras have already been colostrum-stained by that precious liquid gold.  I ended up having to wear nursing pads from around the fifth or sixth month on with my son and I'm amazed that my milky fountains have already kicked in hard enough that the overflow is spilling out.  Right about now I'm kicking myself in the butt for packing all of my reusable cloth nursing pads - grrr!

It's debatable whether or not my body was built for easy conception and pregnancies, but my breasts sure as heck were built for easy nursing!

* * *

If you've been pregnant, when did you notice that your breasts started leaking?  For those of you with more than one pregnancy, did you find that second (and subsequent) pregnancies yielded earlier leakage?

Monday, July 11, 2011

I'm Baaaack! (and possibly grosser than ever)

Guess who's back?  I took a looong overdue vacation and gave my blog a break at the same time.  Now it's time to shield your kiddo's eyes from your monitor because this blog is back up & running.

I wasn't sure if I'd be allowed to go on this trip since I've been on a travel restriction once this pregnancy began.  My doctor made it clear than car travel would not terminate this pregnancy, but since the pregnancy did begin with a solid month of experiencing a majorly bloody mess, he recommended staying close to home so I could see him right away if further problems arose.  Considering that I've had spotting after the initial daily bleeding stopped, it seems like it was prudent to follow his advice.

I saw my doctor on the 1st and we not only heard our sweet baby's heartbeat via doppler (I never tire of hearing that sound!), but we also were given the auditory treat of several jarring THWAP! sounds.  Yes, that would be my baby kicking the heck out of me.  I wouldn't have thought it possible, but this baby seems even more active than my son was in the womb.  I might end up with internal bruises by the time 40-weeks rolls around!

The doctor gave a tepid green light to our travel plans so we set out after leaving his office.  My husband was in the office with me and I'm glad I had his interpretation of what the doctor actually said versus what I thought I heard or I may not have gone.  I really have a bad way of not hearing anything that a doctor says, any doctor, and it really is helpful to have hubs' ears help me out.

I should add that, much to our dismay, my pelvic rest has been ordered to continue.  I don't think I've mentioned it in this blog, but I haven't been allowed to have sex since I got a positive pregnancy test and I bled for over a month afterward.  I guess my pelvis must need further rest because I've had additional episodes of spotting in the last two weeks (I also did it for several days on vacation), but it really is getting old to not be allowed to sex up my husband.  Heck, it was already old once the initial bleeding stopped and I was up for some action.  Never let it be said that I don't sacrifice for my children, right?

I've been resting my pelvis according to the doctor's orders, but I find that I have scant spotting after I have an orgasm.  No, I'm not getting a little self-love on the side.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I've actually been awakened out of a sound sleep from the spasms of an O.  Yes, really.  Apparently all this pelvic rest is causing my body to behave like an unsatisfied teenaged boy and I'm getting my orgasms wherever I can. . .even if it's only from dreams.

Other than a couple of tearful hormone-fueled meltdowns in front of my family (I'm oh-so-classy, eh?), I had a great trip and feel somewhat refreshed.  I only feel somewhat refreshed because I'm actually more fatigued now than I was just a couple of short weeks ago.  I can't figure out what the problem is other than I did follow my doctor's orders and discontinued taking the progesterone suppositories (I weaned off vs going cold turkey, for those who are interested) while I was on vacation.  So the upside is that my vadge is no longer a constantly drippy suppository-filled mess, but the downside is that I want to sleep all the time.

I've spent months feeling constantly wet down below, courtesy of the progesterone suppositories, and I was looking forward to finally being able to wear panties without a pad to catch the, uh, drippings.  It is nice to not wear a pad, but I've discovered that my ladyparts are still a bit on the moist side.  I don't know if I'm constantly feeling this sensation because I'm chronically horny of if pregnancy-induced leukorrhea has finally made an appearance.  Actually, it could have been there all along for all I know and the melting suppositories just masked what was naturally occurring.  It is an uncomfortable feeling, particularly with my history of bleeding and spotting, and sometimes I'm not sure what I might find when I wipe.  Honestly though, as long as it isn't pink or red, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I'm over 14-weeks now and, though I've gained less than five pounds, I am inexplicably showing.  This makes absolutely zero sense to me and fills me with particular dread because ALL of my maternity clothes are packed and gone.  The few clothes that I still have in the house will have to last for another couple of months or I'll have to drag my old bones out to the store and do a bit of shopping before too long - bleh!