My Favorite Tools for Breastfeeding

I was thinking about breastfeeding the other day and wanted to write a post about my disappointment over people's reaction toward so-called extended breastfeeding, but somehow it became a post about the items I really appreciated having when I was breastfeeding my son.  Perhaps you have something to add to my list?

My initial instinct is to just write "BREASTS" and call this post complete, but that wouldn't be the truth because I found that I needed more than just my breasts to have a successful nursing relationship with my son.  So here's a list of my favorite items that helped me nurse my lil' guy until he was right around 13-months old.  I tried to list things in order of importance, but realize that doing so didn't really work out that way for this list.


The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins - This book was like my breastfeeding bible.  It was so helpful every step of the way!  Think your baby isn't getting enough milk because they nurse a lot?  It's covered.  Think something is wrong with your milk because your baby is fussy or spits up a lot?  It's covered.  Think maybe you should wean because baby is "old enough" or you're too tired to nurse?  It's covered.  I referred to it so often that I am kicking myself for lending it out because I never got it back and I know that I'll want it again when this baby is born.

My Brest Friend - This nursing pillow was my absolute favorite for the first several months of my son's life because it made it so much easier to get him in a good position for nursing.  I really struggled with breastfeeding while in the hospital and part of it was because it felt that he was resting directly on my incision whenever he was nursing. . .thankfully, I had this nursing pillow at home!  It has a wrap-around design that stays put until you're ready to remove it (I actually was able to walk around and nurse only because of this pillow) and it was almost like a firm shelf that he rested on right under my breasts.  It also has a handy little pocket for stuff like nursing pads, lip balm, and nipple lanolin.

Boppy - This crescent-shaped nursing pillow is much more popular than My Brest Friend, but I didn't find it helpful at all until my son was around six-months old and older.  It was nice to have at that point, but I'm afraid that I may not have continued nursing if it had been the only nursing pillow available for me to use in his first six months of life.  I guess I'm saying that you might want to save the Boppy until baby is a bit older or you might find nursing somewhat discouraging.

Lansinoh Lanolin - I never used any other nipple treatments because this worked so well for me.  It kept my nipples supple and helped heal the wounds that I received to my nipples in the very beginning. 

Lansinoh Ultra Thin Nursing Pads - I had massive over-supply and I leaked constantly so I tried a lot of different nursing pads and these ones are THE BEST if you're a heavy producer.  These nursing pads held so much leaking milk that they quite literally would make a "squish" sound the few times that they hit my tiled floor.  Though the pads were totally saturated, I was dry!  Bonus: They did not leave any little fibers on my breasts like I experienced with other brands.

Lansinoh Ultra Soft Nursing Pads - These were my favorite to use when my nipples were tender or sore, but they did look a little funny under my shirt.  They were great in the beginning and anytime that my son experienced a growth spurt.  Why mention the growth spurts?  Because during a growth spurt it can feel like your infant is hanging off your boobs 24/7 and all that extra nursing can make your nipples hurt.  Bonus (again):  They don't leave any fibers to pick off your sore nipples.

Reusable Nursing Pads - A few months after my son was weaned, I no longer had to use my standard Lansinoh Ultra Thin disposable nursing pads.  However, I still had leaking issues and it took a looooong time for my milk to dry up so I turned to cotton nursing pads that could be washed & dried.  Of the mainstream (found in BRU) pads, I liked the size of Dr. Brown's the best.  The others I tried were too small and looked really funny under my bra.

Breast Pump - I have no proof of this, but I swear that lots of pumping in the early days is what set me up with a fantastic milk supply.  I used a double electric while in the hospital and switched to the manual Avent Isis at home.  It's quiet, inexpensive, and super-easy to take apart for cleaning.  Using the Avent Isis, I was able to get ounce after ounce after ounce of milk in less than ten minutes and, as a result, I had tons of frozen breastmilk that I could use to mix with my son's cereal once he started solids.

Breast Shells - Note that I am not talking about a completely different item called breast shields!  I liked Avent's breast shells and they were so helpful when my nipples were healing (after having bad latch for the first several days) and when I suffered with engorgement issues.  I had engorgement issues off & on for around nine months so I had plenty of experience with using these babies.

Cold Packs and Warm Compresses - These were helpful to alternate when my milk came in and I had the most painful engorgement issues.  When I was so full that my nipples were stretched totally flat, I found it helpful to lean over a big bowl of warm water and let my nipples soften up.  Funky bonus is that it looks crazy to see the milk swirl out of your nipple and in to the water. I also thought that spraying down the shower with my milky fountains worked too, but it required more effort.

Breasts & Nipples - Obviously these are necessary, right?  One thing you might not realize is that the percentage of women who are biologically incapable of breastfeeding is incredibly small.  So if you want to breastfeed, the chances are incredibly good that you'll be able to do it.  Small breasts, inverted nipples, and other issues aren't necessarily a roadblock to establishing a nursing relationship.  If you have any reason to think that you have (or may have) problems with breastfeeding, do seek out the assistance of a lactation consultant as soon as possible to get help and reassurance.

Fluids - I was so thirsty and drank so much water when I was breastfeeding!  I guzzled a full glass of water at every nursing session in the early months of breastfeeding.  Fluids are important for a nursing mama, but follow your own thirst cues and avoid fluids that are diuretics.

Rest - Silly idea, resting while breastfeeding exclusively, but it's sorta possible.  Some mamas have success with side nursing, but I could never make it work for me.  If you can manage it, you can snooze while baby nurses.  Let the house fall apart and lean on others for help wherever you can find it so you can sleep when the baby sleeps.  Why rest?  Because your body will have an easier time producing milk if you're not bone-tired all the time.

Baby Carrier - I liked a stretchy wrap for the early days, but a ring sling would also work.  Actually any carrier that's appropriate for the child and used safely will be a good choice.  Why wear your baby?  Because it's easier to spot hunger cues when baby is nearby.  I also found that I was more milkalicious and produced far more milk when baby was against my body.

Attitude - It's true in breastfeeding and any other area of your life:  Don't "try," just "do."  In other words, don't let your attitude be a contributor to failure.  Why take home hospital samples of formula if you're planning to breastfeed?  Leave them there and believe that you will not need them.  Believe that you can do it and you probably will.  I think it was Henry Ford who said it best, whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right.

Education - No, you don't need to become a lactation consultant, but ignorance is not always bliss and many women, even mothers, are not very well informed about breastfeeding.  Devour books and scour websites to learn all you can about breastfeeding.  Find out if you can have meet with a lactation consultant or if there are any La Leche League meetings in your area.  Talk with friends who breastfed their own children for any length of time and pay particular attention to those who were able to nurse as long as they wanted because they probably have a lot of handy information to share that they learned while breastfeeding.  Arm yourself with the knowledge you'll need to succeed.


Did you breastfeed?  What were your favorite tools for breastfeeding?

Favorite Funny Websites

Another loooong day means that I can barely keep my eyes open.  I'm trying really hard to stay awake so that I can watch the season premiere of South Park, but I'm pretty sure that I'll be snoozing long before the opening song begins.  Since I'm thinking things that I find funny, I thought I'd quickly share my favorite funny websites. 

One site that I check every day is fark.com and it is HILARIOUS.  It's a news aggregator and the "headlines" are submitted by the readers. . .also known as "farkers."  The headlines are great, but the comment section is often chock-full of comedy gold.  I can always count on Fark to crack me up.

Speaking of cracking up. . .cracked.com is another one of my favorites.  I frequently check this site and often share the fun articles with my hubs or on my FB wall.  Their articles somewhat irritate me because I hate having to click to read the second page, but I almost always get a chuckle when I visit this site.

My latest favorite funny site is awkwardfamilyphotos.com and some of those pictures leave me with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I truly hope that I never find one of my family's photos on that site.  Of course, the chances are slim because we don't pose in front of phallic rocks, wear peculiar garb, or otherwise do goofy things in photos.  What isn't captured on film is an entirely different matter. 

The Best Vibrator in History!!!

The title is a fair warning, right? 

I guess that I'm as qualified as anyone to give sex toy advice and here is mine:  Don't waste your time or money on bullets, rabbits, alligators, or butterflies.  Go directly to the big gun of quivering pleasure and buy yourself a Hitachi Magic Wand.  Click the link to the left and buy it now!  NOW, I say!

I've discussed vibrators at length on three or four occasions in the last couple of weeks.  I don't know why my friends seem to think that I know about such things, but I suppose that I do so they aren't wrong to seek my opinion.  A convo I had on a friend's Facebook wall led to the creation of this post. 

My friend and I were discussing the benefit of having a snorgasm before going to bed at night and I inquired if she had a Magic Wand in her sex-toy arsenal.  She did not and I suggested that she really should cuddle up with one to experience the "magic" for herself.  I told her to beg, borrow, cheat or steal, but find a way to get a Magic Wand of her own.  It truly is magic!  And I am sure she will send me a thank you note after she receives what is sure to become her new best friend.

Readers of this blog realize that I freely speak my mind on most topics and this will not an exception.  This is a post about the best vibrator ever invented.  It is the vibrator that I will forever measure all other vibrators against.  It is a vibrator that is so wonderful and so fantastically exciting that I rave about it to every woman who asks me about my thoughts on vibrators or sex toys in general.  I really can't say enough good things about it.  From a personal satisfaction standpoint, it just might be the most important invention ever!

My husband works a lot and, in his absence, the Magic Wand is my magic man.  The Wand can make me come within a minute. . .two minutes at the very most!  Did you catch that?  I can usually get The Big O within a minute when I use the Wand!  That's only sixty-freaking-seconds!  Oh, Magic Wand, I love you so much and wonder how I ever lived without your delightful ministrations! 

Why am I in such a rush to have an orgasm?  Because I'm a busy mama and I usually don't have a lot of time to make love to myself.  And, really, I see no point in screwing around with a weak vibe that takes ten minutes when I can finish in a tenth of the time.

I know that it looks intimidating and I held off on asking for one for a looong time because I was a little embarrassed to own a vibrator that actually plugs into a wall socket.  I mean, that just seems so hard-core to me and I'm kinda traditional & old-fashioned.  Looking back now, I can say that the Magic Wand has probably paid for itself in battery savings alone!

I also didn't think that I could handle the 5,000 to 6,000 rpm that the Wand provides.  It really does pack quite the punch and the high setting is just too strong for my taste.  Of course, if I keep cozying up to the darn thing, I'll probably develop a callus and need the high setting to feel anything down below.  Um, that's totally just a joke; all is well with my ladyparts now that the yeasty beasties have been eradicated.

I have found that it's necessary to keep a thick layer of something (a hand towel, for example) between my own skin and the head of the Wand or my girlie bits end up over-stimulated.  Yes, that is possible and it doesn't exactly feel good to be engorged down below for hours afterward.  From personal experience, I will caution anyone using a Magic Wand to limit themselves to no more than five to seven minutes of direct clitoral playtime.  Don't worry, that should be enough time for anyone to peak at least twice.

Remember that, although there are several after-market attachments available for internal use, the Magic Wand itself is for external use only so you will also need to invest in a dildo if you like being penetrated while enjoying a little self-love.  Yeah, it sucks to spend more money on another sex-toy when you've already dropped at least $60 on just one vibe.  It might make you feel a little better to know that the Magic Wand is truly a double-duty appliance because it not only can make you come within two minutes, but the tennis-ball shaped head can also be used to effectively massage the knots out of any sore muscles in your back.

Besides, I think it is money well spent if it brings such pleasure and joy to your life.  Don't you?

My Thoughts On Wine

Like any alcoholic (kidding-ish), I have strong opinions on my liquor.  Here are my 7 Points on Wine:

1.  Wine drinkers are often pretentious douches.  That's not to say that they aren't fun, but they usually are pretty full of themselves. . .and guy wine aficionados are the worst!  Seriously, guys, stick to hard liquor like whiskey or gin because you often sound like asses when you pontificate about wine to the ladies.  If you're going to drink wine, just enjoy it and don't try to show off.
2.  Wine coolers ARE NOT WINE!!!!!  End of story!
3.  White Zinfandel is what high school girls drink.  Seriously, it's exactly like boozy punch and it's friggin' awful!  And, I should add, the hangovers are dreadful on this sweet dreck.
4.  Chardonnay is a nice wine-y transition to adulthood.  I actually liked Chardonnay for almost ten years, but now I'm put off by it and I find that most Chardonnays rely too heavily on oak-y tastes to make a positive impact.  Indeed, oak-y tastes turn me off completely these days.  I feel that the oak taste tries to mask that it's an inferior wine.  Yes, my hubs hails from OK and he's an okey, but I don't mind his kind of taste!  haha
5.  Pinot Grigio/Pinot Gris is a nice and light white wine that often has fruity undertones without being too terribly sweet.  It's fun for a lazy afternoon with friends or with dinner.  I liked this varietal for quite a long time too.
6.  Sauvignon Blanc is frequently a grassy or minerally wine and it has a crisp finish.  This is my current favorite for a wine to relax with and enjoy.  I would not have liked it even five years ago, but I tremendously enjoy it now!
7.  Reds aren't for children!  Honestly, reds are great and there was a time that I was all about the Cab and the occasional glass of Merlot or Pinot Noir, but understand that you can easily end up feeling way more tipsy on reds than whites.  At least, that's my personal experience.  I'm totally gauche, so I usually put an ice cube or two in my wine, but I still found myself struggling to find a way to straddle the red wine line without falling over to the drunky side.

Do you like wine?  Have your varietal preferences changed over the years?  What are your current favorites?  Cheers!

My Favorite Bee Gees Video Clips

The Bee Gees are most often associated with a certain dance music of the late-70s, but they created some breathtakingly beautiful music long before the advent of Disco.  Of course, I was just a kid when disco was popular (the first time around) so I don't share the hate that many music lovers from the era feel for that particular style of music.  Here are a few of my favorite Bee Gees songs, disco or otherwise.

I have to confess something: I watched this clip of Stayin' Alive three times in a row because I was practically drooling over Barry Gibb.  How sucky that Robin and Maurice had to stand next to this fine specimen of late-70s sexiness.  That lion's mane, his fuzzy face, those skinny hips. . .oh my!

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart is one of my all-time favorite songs and this is a damn-near perfect live performance of the song.

I'm pretty sure that everyone can relate to the chorus of To Love Somebody.   And, if you can't, consider yourself lucky.

Too Much Heaven really lets their wonderful harmonies sparkle.  I read on Wiki that they donated their earnings from this song to UNICEF and it has yielded more than $11 million for the charity.

Another one of my all-time favorite songs is Night Fever.  I was surprised to see a Disco-era Barry without his face of fuzz in this video.

I've Got to Get A Message To You was written by Maurice or Robin after a fight with wifey.  Uh, listen to the lyrics and tell me if you think maybe wifey was like, "Say WHAT?!"

I'm not normally a fan of covers, but I do like A Day in the Life and most of the other songs from the utterly craptastic Sgt.Pepper's movie starring the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton.

The song One is the last Bee Gees hit I can think of off the top of my head and I think it came out in the very early 90s.  These guys had an awesome career that spanned over 40-years!

* * *

Technically these aren't "Bee Gees" songs, but they either sang back up or wrote the songs so I'm including them in this post.

Emotion by Samantha Sang has enough of the Gibb's voices that it darn near is one of their songs.  Besides providing awesome backup vocals, Barry and Robin wrote the song. 

Barry had a well-received collaboration with Barbara Streisand over 30-years ago (and I think they had another around five years ago?), but Guilty, Woman in Love, are my clear favorites.  I also like this clip of What Kind of Fool because, you've got to admit that Barry found his "look" and he works it.  I almost didn't include this clip of Guilty because it makes no friggin' sense, but the song is great so whatever.

Barry wrote the song Grease, but Frankie Valli sang the song for the movie of the same name.

* * *

Okay, enough of my musical nostalgia.  I'm going for an easy post tomorrow.  Hopefully one that doesn't require a ton of time clicking through youtube!

My Favorite CSN Video Clips

There are only two bands that I can think of who had incredibly perfect harmonies:  Crosby, Stills, Nash (and sometimes Young) and the Bee Gees.  I've been on a CSN (& sometimes Y) kick for the last 24-hours and thought I'd share some youtube clips of my favorite songs in their catalog.  My husband has seen these guys at least three times and I feel a little cheated that I was born too late to see such epic concerts.  Enjoy the post and the clips - I know I have!


Our House is one of my all-time favorite songs because it's an unabashed ode to monogamy and this is a good live version of this song.  As a bonus, this clip showcases Graham Nash at his hirsute sexiest - RAWR!

If you like the song (and who doesn't?), this wonderful acoustic version of Helplessly Hoping will stay in your mind for hours after watching.

Who can't relate to the lyrics of Wasted on the Way?  If you can't yet, I guarantee that you will one day.  This clip is a little funny because it's of Wasted on the Way, but I think David Crosby was Wasted on the Stage - shocking, eh?

I think ripping off United's "friendly skies" tagline is a little cheesy, but Just a Song Before I Go this is a hauntingly beautiful song.

I'm partial to Jimmy Buffett's version, but Southern Cross is awesome no matter who sings it.  My hubby says this is his favorite Stephen Stills song.

I'm sad that the version of A Long Time Gone that I wanted to use had really poor sound quality, but this is a cool live version.

Great guitar work on Wooden Ships and I think this was off their debut album.

I have no clue where Stephen Stills was here and I think David Crosby looks high as a kite, but it's a cool clip of Marrakesh Express.  When my son was a baby, he used to smile and laugh whenever this song came on the radio.  What can I say?  The kid has great taste in music.

This version of Guinnevere is long, but so worth it.  I've never heard such a silent audience during a live performance. . .I guess they didn't want to miss a single note.  One guitar + two voices = magic.


They just don't make music like this nowadays and I suspect that these guys never would have acheived any measure of success if they were trying to get started in music today.  Well, Graham Nash might make it because he's a good-looking guy.  But still, my point is that looks are more important than any talent in music today and I think that's a damn shame.  Looks like The Buggles were right:  Video did, in fact, kill the radio star.

My Favorite Scents

Once upon a time, I wore fragrance every single day.  I delighted in covering my mirrored vanity tray in an assortment of lovely glass flacons and atomizers.  However, I haven't worn a store-bought scent regularly in many years.

I don't know exactly when I stopped wearing scents.  I seem to recall that my ex-husband didn't care for perfume. . .big surprise, eh?  So I'm guessing that it was around the year 2000 when I stopped covering up or enhancing my natural scent with something that I could purchase.

Oh, how I adored wearing scent!  I was really all about the perfume at certain times in my life.  And I would do my best to layer the scent if at all possible by acquiring the body wash, lotion, powder, whatever was available.

What scents have I loved in my life?  As a young girl, I loved Baby Soft.  Though my Grandma consistently gave me Windsong for gifts, I never really warmed up to the scent.  Navy was a fragrance that I rocked in my high school years.  Samsara and, to a lesser degree, Shalimar by Guerlain fueled my college-lite days.  Actually, add in Vanilla Fields and my young adult line up will be complete.  Imari by Avon was a favorite for nearly a decade.

Some people like floral and sweet honeyed scents, but I clearly prefer Sandalwood, Musk, Amber, and sometimes Vanilla scents.  I used to burn incense way back when and I really liked patchouli at that time too.  Heavy and earthy scents are impossibly sexy to me and I regularly sought them out when I made my purchases.

Somehow I lost my way and I started using the body sprays and lotions that popped up at The Body Shop, Bath & Body Works, and darn near every other retailer on the planet.  I guess that I wanted to smell edible. . .like a juicy peach.  Or a ripe pear.  Sometimes a delicious pineapple.  That's nice and all, but it doesn't exactly have the heady sexiness of the ambered and woody notes that I prefer to wear.

I've noted that people don't wear fragrance very often these days, but I'm considering using it again and want to hear your opinions on the matter.  Do you like it?  Does it bother you?  Do you wear fragrance?  What fragrances do you like?

My Favorite Songs - Part III

Do I love music or what?  I've already posted my favorite songs (Part I and Part II) on my old blog, but I have a lot more!  I'm sure there will be a Part IV of this series.


Woodstock by Matthews Southern Comfort - CSN (& possibly Y?) and Joni Mitchell also recorded this song, it was written by Mitchell, but this is still my favorite version because it perfectly creates a dreamy vibe.

I Go Crazy by Paul Davis - This song has been a favorite since I was a child and I must have heard it at least a half a million times by now, but it's still as lovely as ever.

Any Song by Roberta Flack - Seriously, any song.  There's a story about one of her greatest hits albums that wouldn't play one evening, but that's a story for my husband to share. . .we ended up with Pink Floyd instead.

Bad Company or Shooting Star by Bad Company - A supergroup with some super-bitchin' hits, I couldn't pick just one and I'm almost tempted to toss in the other two hits that get frequent airplay:  Feel Like Makin' Love and Rock N Roll Fantasy.

Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon - I ordinarily would not have included this on a favorite list, but it makes my dog go totally cuckoo when I sing it.  Naturally, that means that I sing it a lot.  Ow-ooo!

Break Up to Make Up by The Stylistics - Hasn't everyone had a relationship that this song so perfectly describes?  These guys were so smooth and their music is unrivaled.  It was really hard to pick just one of their songs to include on the list.

The Joker by Steve Miller Band - I know that this song is picked to play on the jukebox by every lowlife in every billiard hall in America, but I like it.  I guess it's a holdover from my days of slumming around lowlifes in pool halls.  No, I still can't play worth a darn.

Touch Me by The Doors - It's altogether too brief, but it's fast, hot, and to the point.

I Like the Way You Love Me by Brenton Wood - Really, you could pick any one of his songs and I'd probably like it.  I recall that a friend (you know who you are!) and I cruised to Montebello as teenagers to catch him live in a bar.  Montebello PD was incredulous and suggested that we return back to Orange County.  Good times, good times.

Popcorn by Hot Butter - A synthesizer and the 70s, need I say more?

(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want To Be Right by Luther Ingram - Adultery has never sounded so freaking fantastic.  Billy Paul warbling about Mrs. Jones comes pretty close, but this one still is sinfully delicious.

Rock Lobster by The B-52s - Such a silly song by such a silly group.  I totally cracked up when it showed up in an episode of Family Guy.

Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogleberg - If you've ever run across an old flame, you'll understand why this song is on the list.  Speaking of the accidental-meeting-of-a-former-lover style of songs, this one is far better than Harry Chapin's Taxi.

Border Song by Elton John - At the risk of sounding like a total puss or peacenik, I get a little teary at the final verse each and every time I hear this song.  I'll probably start crying at insurance commercials next.

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard - Every stripper's song of choice, eh?  Yep, makes me want to shake my ass and get naked too.

Cowboys to Girls by (I have no idea) - This is an old-school jam from waaaay back in the day, but I still remember cruising and listening to it all these years later.


What are some of your favorite songs?  Please share!

Favorite Television Theme Songs

Whew! I am a lazy old heifer. I didn't write an blog post tonight on California politics. Instead, I'm offering much lighter fare. In no particular order, here are some instantly recognizably television theme songs that I love:


Bonanza - I LOVE BONANZA! I love, love, love it! I'm a little embarrassed to admit that even my two-year old son and my German Shepherd Dog (GSD) can recognize this theme song! The Cartwright men were always embroiled in some drama, the good guys were always honest, and justice was always served. I know that Little Joe (Michael Landon) was supposed to be the heartthrob on the show, but I personally prefer Adam (Pernell Roberts) or Pa (Lorne Greene). Even Hoss (Dan Blocker) had some appealing traits.

Gilligan's Island - I will not change the channel if The Ballad of Gilligan's Island is on the radio. I listen to Sirius and I have heard it a time or two.

The Brady Bunch - Those rascally Brady children and their unflappable housekeeper, Alice! How is it that the father was an architect and he couldn't design a house big enough for his brood?

Hawaii Five-0 - I have never watched a single episode. But I know the theme song from the first notes and I'll bet you do too!

Scooby Do - There were at least a couple of theme songs for this show, but I like both that I can recall. Looking back, I wonder if the entire crew of the Mystery Machine were totally high. Seriously, they not only thought their dog talked, but they looked to him for advice. They cruised around in their groovy duds looking for sweet gigs. At least one of them (Shaggy) would do stuff for dog snacks. And they were always seeing ghosts. It's, like, creepy, man!

Jeopardy! - Merv Griffin wrote this theme song as a lullaby for his son in about a minute. I read the other day that he has earned somewhere around $70 to $80 million dollars in royalties from this theme song alone. Having that kind of scratch sort of makes up for having the supremely crappy name "Merv."

Taxi - They were always so grubby looking, those cab drivers. I never really got the humor as a young child, but I thought this show was absolutely hilarious as a young adult.

Star Trek - I love the original Star Trek. Only Captain James T. Kirk could be so awesome as to kick ass all over the galaxy while sporting a pot-belly in his super-tight Federation-issued shirt.

The Twilight Zone - Rod Serling. Eye of the Beholder. People are Alike All Over. Monsters Are Due on Maple Street. This series was so awesome, so dark, so cynical, and the host's lungs were so filled with smoke. I love the Twilight Zone. I could watch an episode every single day and never tire of the series.

The Love Boat - I'm partial to Isaac or Gopher myself, but I guess it was the weekly guest stars who the viewership was supposed to lust over.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show - Mary Tyler Moore was so sweet and (ahem) perky, who could resist her charms? I love this show and it boasted plenty of television sweethearts besides the titular MTM: Ted Knight (Too Close for Comfort), Gavin McLeod (The Love Boat), Betty White (The Golden Girls), Ed Asner (Lou Grant), Valerie Harper (Rhoda), and Oscar-winner Cloris Leachman (Phyllis).

Hogan's Heroes - I wanted to hate this show. I really did. But it somehow made a WWII POW camp seem so hilarious and heartwarming. I'm totally not going to address Bob Crane's pervy proclivities. . .HOOOGAAAAAN!

Welcome Back Kotter - Weeeelcome back, to that same old show I laughed about. I don't know what Gabe Kaplan's done since this show, but I loved seeing the weekly exploits of Mr. Kotter and his Sweathogs. I guess the only other notable thing about this show is that it gave John Travolta his start. . .and somehow he took that to mean that he should record a music album. I do not recommend listening to said music album.

The Beverly Hillbilly's - The Clampett's. Guided by their mountain smarts, they were often wiser than those silly citified folks who had the benefit of book learnin'.

Rawhide - Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them doggies rollin'. . .it's very recognizable, but I've never seen a single episode so I'm unable to comment on the series itself.

Bewitched - My husband tells me that he had a crush on Elizabeth Montgomery when he was a child. I don't know what to think of that, but I thought the show was okay enough to at least watch the opening credits.

I Dream of Jeannie - When JR Ewing was a young man, he had a genie named Barbara Eden under his command. Somehow he parlayed this good fortune to become an oil magnate in Dallas. ;-)

Fantasy Island - De plane, boss! De plane! Tattoo (Herve Villechaize) was kind of the star of the show, and it was typically a spooky show. But my 2nd grade self loved this show.

The Munsters - The residents of 1313 Mockingbird Lane are forever etched in my heart. They were such creeps, but they were so sweet & so cool. In his later years, Grandpa Al Lewis frequently visited the Howard Stern radio show and he was always a riot. Fred Gywnne was such a perfect Herman Munster that I'm sad to say that I imagine him as that character in every roll I've ever seen him in. Yvonne De Carlo was so lovely, the perfect Lily, and probably the reason I love both names (Yvonne and Lily) to this day.

The Addams Family - I don't like it. I realize it came out before The Munsters, but I always kinda think that The Addams Family is the Poor Man's Munsters. Sorry.

Batman - Bang! Pow! Whap! Adam West, prior to becoming a running punchline on a Seth MacFarlane television series, wore the Batsuit with campy pride. However, I have to say that the Catwoman stole the show. Thank you Julie Newmar, and posthumous thanks to Eartha Kitt, your character was so awesome that it inspired a feature film nearly forty years later. Smack!

Mission Impossible - Prior to Bono & The Edge mangling it, this theme song was totally bitchin'. Not that they totally ruined it, but they inserted themselves in the song altogether too much. Uh, other than the totally bitchin' theme song, I know absolutely nothing about this show.

The Andy Griffith Show - Very recognizable, even if you don't know Barney Fife, Opie, or Aunt Bea. Too bad I can't whistle. . .


So what have I missed? What are your favorite theme songs from television shows? I look forward to hearing your suggestions! :-)

My Favorite Songs - Part II

After I posted on my favorite songs, I realized that I left off so many that really needed to be included. I don't know that anyone gives a rip about my musical taste and I've heard that many readers haven't even heard of most of the songs (really?!), but these lists of songs will be handy if my husband ever wants to make me the most awesome mix tape of all time. I haven't received a mix tape from a boy in probably 20 years, so I'd think that would be pretty rad. I learned the other day that kids probably don't make mix tapes anymore. So, Big Daddy, I'll also accept an iPod. :)

Purple Rain by Prince - It was a toss up between several Prince songs, but this is kinda like his signature song.

Vehicle by Ides of March - A rockin' one-hit wonder. I find that the passionate chorus is impossible to listen to without singing it at the top of my lungs.

Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty - It reminds me of someone I once knew very well, right down to the dream.

Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf - The only thing better than a magic carpet ride is a. . .well, it has to do with mustaches, I'll let you figure it out!

Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest - Another one-hit wonder and a fun song that often reminds me of the next song on this list.

Slow Dancing by Johnny Rivers - A romantic song that often reminds me of the previous song on this list.

I Touch Myself by The Divinyls - So sexy and so fun. Hasn't everyone had one martini too many and made an ass of themselves while discoing around to this song on the jukebox? No? Er, yeah, me neither!

What's Going On by Marvin Gaye - I could have included every single one of his songs because I love, love, love Marvin Gaye.

El Condor Pasa by Simon & Garfunkel - A Peruvian song that is just lovely.

Beautiful Boy by John Lennon - I'm not a fan of hippies in general or Lennon specifically, but this is a song that is so sweet and so poignant because he didn't live to see his own beautiful boy grow to become a man.

Suzie Q by Creedence Clearwater Revival - I like the extended version and I admire the balls of these guys to create an eight minute plus song.

Wild World by Cat Stevens - Yes, yes it is. I don't like who Cat Stevens has become, but I liked the musician he once was.


What are some of your favorite songs?

My Favorite Songs

I like writing posts about my favorite things because, well, I like my favorite things and find them very easy to write about. I've been plagued with headaches lately and I don't want to exert too much effort, so I'll stick with my favorites in this post tonight.

I adore music. I love music so much that I'd rather lose my sight than lose my sense of hearing. My tastes are varied in that I like music from a variety of styles and eras. However, I am not a fan of most music that receives airplay on terrestrial radio. As I commented in this blog earlier, I find that "modern music is soulless dreck. Musicianship appears to be a dying art. It appears the most important thing about music today is a good "look" and the sound engineer's ability to manipulate auto-tune. Nowadays, we would never have a famous Joe Walsh, Janis Joplin, CSNY (well, maybe Nash), James Taylor, etc."

Here are my favorite songs, in no particular order:

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You by Elvis Presley - It reminds me of the earliest days of my relationship with my husband. This is "Our Song" and I always get a stupid smile on my face whenever I hear it - even after nearly five years of marriage.

Affair on 8th Avenue by Gordon Lightfoot - Rarely heard and not found on his Greatest Hits, it's beautifully haunting.

I've Got a Name by Jim Croce - My husband reports that this was totally played out on the radio when it came out and, as a result, he still doesn't care for this song. I wasn't born when it came out and I'm not sick of it yet.

Brandi by Looking Glass - A one-hit wonder, but a great song. It's my favorite at karaoke.

Color My World by Chicago - It's short, but sweet.

You're So Vain by Carly Simon - Who is it about? Who friggin' cares, it's a great song. But why are there clouds in her coffee???

Let it Grow by Eric Clapton - Great music, great lyrics. It strikes me as hauntingly sexy, but I'm probably reading a little too hard between the lines.

Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - It's a fun song that reminds me of fun times.

Fire and Rain by James Taylor - I've heard several theories about the meaning of this song. It's moody and it's great, no matter what the meaning.

Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues - Really, the entire album was fantastic, but this was their orchestral masterpiece.

Volare and That's Amore by Dean Martin - I love Dino and I couldn't just pick one of his songs, so I gave two.

Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young - Beautiful harmonies are found in every CSN song, with or without Y. I like this one because it so sweetly idealizes monogamy.

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor - What woman hasn't cranked this song and shook her ass around after a breakup?

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart and Night Fever by The Bee Gees - Both good songs with great harmonies.

Southern Cross by Jimmy Buffett - Yes, it's originally a CSN song, but I like Jimmy's version and he rocks it at concerts. As an interesting side note, the guests at our wedding overwhelmingly chose "Why Don't We Get Drunk & Screw" as the song that they most closely associate with us. Freaking Parrotheads!

California Love by Tupac - Such a fun song & it reminds me of cruising around with my BFF.

Drowning Man by U2 - I think I'm the only person on the planet who knows this song, but I love it.

The Very Thought of You by Billie Holiday - An endlessly romantic classic.


You know, I thought this would be a super-short post with just a few songs. I have at least twenty more songs that I'd like to add to the list, but I'm tired and my head hurts. What about you? I'd love to learn your favorite songs.

My Favorite Guitarists

I was going to write a serious post tonight about pubic hair (bet you didn't know pubic hair was serious business, huh?), but I thought a lighthearted post would be easier to finish at this late hour. I chose to write about my favorite guitarists because it is a topic that I discuss often with my husband. Over the last seven years, we have discussed my favorite guitarists at least 1,007 times. I don't know why I keep bringing it up since our conversation is almost always exactly the same each time. I know what they say about opinions, but here you go:

1. Eric Clapton - Love, love, love him. He's so talented, so prolific, so handsome. "Let it Grow" is my favorite song of his, followed closely by "Running on Faith." I prefer traditional names, but I seriously wanted to name my son Clapton. My hubby, assuming our son might grow up to become a judge or doctor or something, said F-no!

2. Eddie Van Halen - Very original, very talented, and so cute back in the day. Everyone knows the Frankenstrat on sight and he blew everyone's mind when he played on Michael Jackson's "Beat It."

3. Joe Walsh - So talented, but so tortured. I suspect that most people only know him for his work with The Eagles, but he was legitimately famous before joining one of my favorite bands. Of course, if you're picking a favorite Joe Walsh tune, you have to pick "Life in the Fast Lane." He didn't just have a hand in writing that song, he freaking lived it.

4. Jimi Hendrix - I'm not really a Hendrix fan, but I am aware that he fundamentally changed music. Plus, he knew how to dress for attention and he rocked that 'fro. Of course, he literally followed the youthful advice to live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse, so we can only guess what he might have accomplished had he not bought it at age 27. I know he didn't write it, Bob Dylan did, but my favorite Hendrix song is "All Along the Watchtower."

5. I always have trouble picking #5. I want to say Prince, but I recognize that he's not a particularly awesome guitarist - he is a fantastically awesome lyricist though. Any suggestions?

The Genesis of Vito Corleone

A necessarily short blog post tonight.


I'd like to say that Francis Ford Coppola owes everything to The Godfather I & II and he pretty much sucks as a director without those two movies in his filmography. And, as a matter of personal preference, his wines aren't that great either. But I feel charitable tonight. Therefore, I will say that Francis Ford Coppola is a very uneven director. He has directed absolute masterpieces (The Godfather I & II, The Outsiders), but he has also directed absolute pieces of you-know-what (The Godfather III, Bram Stoker's Dracula) over his lengthy career.

Tonight I'm enjoying The Godfather II, hence the short blog post. The scenes set in Lake Tahoe and Cuba are fairly interesting, with stunning revelations, but the scenes that depict the genesis of Vito Corleone are truly fascinating.

His family decimated by Mafia violence, a nine-year old orphan flees his native Sicily and arrives in America, unable to speak English. Years pass and he begins raising his family in the shadow of Don Fanucci, a bully to his own people. Stop reading if you've never seen this movie and would like to one day.

SPOILER ALERT!!







He kills Don Fanucci and, ultimately, ends up being that which he despised in the first place. And his son is arguably worse!

It's an age-old cautionary tale and we recognize these characters by their actions, even if we don't recognize them by name. In fantastically dreamy casting, this film stars true masters of their craft: Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Lee Strasberg.

If you've never seen this movie, particularly if you've seen The Godfather I, do take a few hours and immerse yourself in the Corleone family saga.

He Made Me An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

My husband wanted to watch a movie tonight. He suggested Pulp Fiction (yawn) or The Godfather (yay!) We're watching The Godfather. I'd like to squeeze in The Godfather Part II, but these movies are probably a little too long to attempt both on a work night.

With his deep eyes and dark hair, Al Pacino was so hot in those days! He was hotter in Serpico, I have a thing for fuzzy faces, but he still packed some serious heat portraying the calculating Michael Corleone.

One thing that I always forget is that Abe Vigoda played Tessio. Abe Vigoda looked 1,001 years old back then in 1972; how in the world is he still alive today?! I guess that's part of the joke when internet rumors pop up to claim that he finally died - everyone assumes he died years ago.

My favorite quote, besides the nod in this post title, comes from the famously hot-headed Santino "Sonny" Corleone and is delivered to his brother, Michael:

"Nice college boy, didn't want to get mixed up in the family business. Now you want to gun down a police Captain. Why? Because he slapped you in the face a little. What, do you think this is like the Army where you can shoot 'em from a mile away? No, you gotta get up like this and bada-BING! You blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit!"

Anyway, sorry this is such a lame post, but I don't want to miss a single scene of this very awesome movie.

Best Movies and Worst Movies

I've been a real buzz-kill the last several days, so I'm going to lighten up a bit. I thought it might be fun to list my favorite movies, my favorite movies that aren't part of a series, and the absolute worst movies I ever had the misfortune to see. I'll also give a brief explanation of why I love or loathe these movies. Break out the popcorn and enjoy!


My Favorite Movies

1. An Officer & a Gentleman - I'm a sucker for an over-the-top romantic ending. Particularly when it seems that all hope is lost. Though Louis Gosset, Jr. was the real eye candy in this movie, Richard Gere was a-okay back then. Understand that this was long before the gerbil got stuck!

2. Rocky IV - It has the best montage ever found in any movie when Rocky is driving in his Lambo. This movie kind of sucks because Apollo dies and he was the most interesting character of the series. But I love this one because Rocky beats the sh*t outta the Russian commie. Plus, I can't help but throw some punches when I watch the Rocky movies and this one really fires me up. On a somewhat related note, I came across an atlas that I had as a child and I wrote "bad guys" on the Soviet Union page. Why yes, I was a child of the cold war.

3. Pride & Prejudice (A & E version) - Love the book, it has what might be the very best opening line in all of literature. Again, I'm a sucker for over-the-top romantic endings when all hope is lost. I also think that Colin Firth nailed Mr. Darcy's cool heat. Yes, it seems contradictory, but he did it.

4. The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars Episode V) - Screw Citizen Kane and his stupid sleigh, this movie has the biggest and most shocking reveal of any movie ever made. It also has Billy Dee Williams living amongst the beautiful Cloud City - rawr!

5. Dirty Harry - Long before the PC-age, there was a gritty realism in films from the 70s and this is a perfect example. The violence wasn't over the top or cartoonish and you believed that these scenes could happen. Harry Callahan ended up dispensing vigilante justice, but at least justice was served. Do watch it, but only if you feel lucky - punk! An interesting side thought: I think this movie was kind of a dig toward SFPD over their inability to capture the Zodiac Killer.

6. The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly - Clint Eastwood in Sergio Leone's epic Spaghetti Western masterpiece. Great story, outstanding camera work, an easily recognizable score, and the best Mexican standoff ever found in cinema. Eli Wallach was outstanding in this as well.

7. Star Trek - I think JJ Abrams is a little too fond of lens flare, but the story is fantastic. The actors absolutely nailed their parts, no easy task since we've known the characters for over 40 years. I can't help but tear up at the beginning of this movie every time I see it.

8. Rear Window - Alfred Hitchcock's suspenseful masterpiece. Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly, Raymond Burr, and a possible murder. What's not to like?

9. The Godfather Parts I & II - Yes, I'm aware that these are actually two movies, but I'm counting them as one because you really need to watch one after the other. Al Pacino and James Caan packed some serious heat in those days - and I'm not just talking about firearms! The third one is a total piece of sh*t that you should never watch - there, I just saved you nearly three hours of your life. The Corleone family saga has been compelling to me ever since I first touched Mario Puzo's fantastically engrossing novels.

10. Iron Man - I like superhero movies and this is the superhero movie that I measure all others against now. What's not to like about Tony Stark? He's young, he's handsome, he's wealthy, he's smart, and he's nice to his employees. And he's freaking Iron Man!


My Favorite Movies that Aren't Part of a Series

1. An Officer & a Gentleman - see list above.

2. Dances with Wolves - I'm not really a fan of blondes, but I do have a weakness for Kevin Costner. I watched this in the theater and boo-hooed like a little girl. It's uncharacteristic for me to like a movie that does not have a happy ending, but I do like this one.

3. Pride & Prejudice - see list above.

4. True Lies - Arnold Schwarzenegger blowing up plausibly "middle eastern" terrorists. Funny toss away lines. Lots of explosions. A Harrier jet demonstrating the awesomeness of a vertical take-off. Jamie Lee Curtis sports a smoking body, which she shows off during a somewhat sexy dance. But I still think that she was born a hermaphrodite. Seriously, take away the nice rack and she really does look like a dude.

5. Inglorious Basterds - I don't hate Quentin Tarantino and I don't particularly like him either, but he hit a home run with this movie. Of the Basterds, Brad Pitt gets better looking with age & he's totally believable in this role and Eli Roth is a far better actor than a director. Tarantino tends to allow the camera to linger uncomfortably long on random images, but it works here. And he can always be counted on to have a kick ass soundtrack. Using David Bowie's Cat People (Putting out the Fire) while our protagonist is getting ready to burn a sh*t load of Nazi's seems particularly inspired to me.

6. The Bank Job - Loosely based on a true story. A bunch of nobodies who made an extraordinary film. And they did such a good job of setting the period (clothes, vehicles, hairstyles, language) that you will find it hard to believe that this film wasn't made in the 70s. Highly recommend!

7. Deep Blue Sea - This is probably the crappiest movie on my list, but I do love this movie. It has a trio of super-smart sharks, Thomas Jane, an underwater research facility, Saffron Burrows stripping down to her panties so she can electrocute a shark, and best of all - LL COOL J! I would tune in to watch him read appliance repair manuals, he is just that damn sexy! It also boasts Samuel L. Jackson in an uncharacteristic role. He doesn't even bitch about these m*therf*ckin' sharks in this m*therf*ckin' cage!

8. Rear Window - see list above.

9. Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart at his dark & sexy best. Though Rick didn't win the girl, gave her back actually, he is one of life's winners. He doesn't get to keep the girl, but he keeps his virtue. The iconic "As Time Goes By" is instantly recognizable.

10. It's a Wonderful Life - A tear-jerking feel-good story if ever there was one. Frank Capra knew how to tug on our heartstrings and he did it masterfully in this movie. Who hasn't wished that they had never been born? We're all here for a reason, many reasons, and this movie powerfully illustrates that point.


The Worst Movies Ever Made

Homie Spumoni - Awful. Simply awful. It could have been tremendously funny, but it was painful. I smirked once, but never actually cracked a smile. I needed a healthy dose of mind bleach after watching this dreck.

The Godfather Part III - I still feel cheated because I wasted the money to watch this crap in the theater. This movie wasted nearly three freaking hours of my life. This is a particularly awful movie because the audience was tricked into watching it based on the sheer awesomeness of the first two movies in the series. You can rot, Francis Ford Coppola, for casting your talentless daughter in such a pivotal role. And, damn it, does Al Pacino even bother to read scripts anymore?

Ronin - Another movie that I actually paid to watch. I ordinarily enjoy Robert De Niro. He is an impossibly talented actor. But this is an impossibly unwatchable movie. I think De Niro is another actor who accepts any payday that he's offered.

Bram Stoker's Dracula - Another crapfest from Francis Ford Coppola and yet another that I watched in the theater. Listen up, Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, you should not do period pieces set in a foreign country. You are not convincing and you can't do accents. Gary Oldman had one of the most funny lines in cinema in this movie. . .but I don't think it was supposed to be hilarious. A miss all the way around.

Eyes Wide Shut - Yep, I saw this in the theater too. I realize that what I'm about to say is a total sacrilege to movie fans, but Stanley Kubrick wasn't a great director. He was pretentious and boring. Worse, he apparently believed that every scene he directed was gold because he simply could not edit his sh*tty movies to a reasonable length. This movie is a perfect example of that. Sure, we get to see Nicole Kidman naked on the toilet. And that pretty much sums up my view of this movie.

The Eiger Sanction - Look, I love Trevanian's books. Though Shibumi is my favorite, I was excited to learn that there was a movie of The Eiger Sanction. I must say that I'd rather have Dr. Jonathan Hemlock sanction me than watch this tripe again.

Star Wars Episodes I and II - Yes, these are two movies and, yes, both are terrible. Frankly, the only reason that Episode III isn't on this list is because I was fascinated by the genesis of Darth Vader and I think Ewan McGregor's bewhiskered face is impossibly handsome. Annoying kid, annoying Queen-cum-Senator, annoying (and seemingly neverending) pod race, annoying gungan (JarJar Binks, who else?), annoying ocean planet, annoying romance, annoying Senator-cum-Chancellor, annoying clone war sequences, and annoying clandestine marriage. Though I found Boba Fett's origination somewhat interesting, really, what's to like here? Oh, and for the love of love stories, I hope that George Lucas never again tries to pen romantic dialog. Seriously, is he a pre-pubescent girl? Bleh!

Blue Velvet - David Lynch is overrated and he's considered a genius. Why? Because he's too friggin' lazy to actually make a film that makes sense? Because he has quirky characters? I hate all of his craptastic films, but this is really the worst.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - I guess this was considered groundbreaking back in the day because it was about a white woman who was marrying a black man. Perhaps it disturbed some of the viewing audience. Frankly, race is the least disturbing aspect of this movie. What disturbed me was their shockingly brief courtship. Well, that and why a handsome & accomplished doctor would want such a vacuous ninny for a wife.

Superbad - The title sums it up perfectly.


How about you? What are your favorite and/or least favorite movies?