Monday, November 21, 2011

Middle-Aged Adolescents

I think that anyone who knows me at all or reads what I write in this blog can agree that I'm fairly direct and to the point.  I have a low tolerance for bullsh*t and little interest in drama.  I try not to engage in gossip and I try to be a kind & giving person even toward people who I just don't care for all that much.  Indeed, I try to keep those negative thoughts to myself because I believe in treating others the way I'd like to be treated. 

Yeah, I know, I sound like I'm The Last Girlscout.  I'm not trying to say that I'm oh-so-evolved as an individual, but I most definitely do not suffer from emotional retardation that makes me act as though I am still a snippy teenager running the mean girls schtick.  I'm 36-years old and it would be ridiculous if I were still behaving like it's the early-90s.  I don't feel the need to try to push down others to elevate myself because that's a fool's way to get a temporary lift and it's just not my style.  I am who I am, I know who I am, and I like who I am.  Anyone who has a problem with that can just suck it.

I'm usually a good judge of character and I don't exactly shrink away from rolling in the mud with b*tches and that's why it surprises me when one chooses to square off with me over a completely chickensh*t reason that makes absolutely zero sense.  Life can be so full of crap and I truly value honesty in relationships.  It may sound naive, but I think it's a shame that all women don't feel the same way.  I get that sometimes others are spoiling for a fight and there are certainly times that I've launched myself in the ring, but I have flesh & blood family who I haven't had a single word of contact with in over three decades and there is no way that I'll hesitate to burn down a relationship with a friend if I feel that they are not genuine with me or if I feel that they are actively out to sabotage my happiness.

Of course, using the word "friend" is debatable because friends don't try to cut down other friends.  Friends don't give their friends ultimatums regarding other non-mutual friends.  Friends don't ignore special times in their friends' lives; special times like birthdays, buying new houses, having a long desired baby.  Friends don't make up outright lies to try to eject their friends from social groups - particularly when the lie is completely unnecessary.  And friends sure as heck don't pull this c*nty behavior in the weeks and short months after their friend suffered the unexpected death of a young family member, after a friend moved to a new house while in the third trimester of pregnancy, and after the friend's mother just spent 40+ days in a rehab facility to relearn how to walk.

As I list out all this behavior, I've come to believe that this friend is impossibly pathetic and I'm surprised that I feel mainly indifference rather than righteous fury toward her unwarranted attack during what anyone can see is a difficult time in my life.  Her childishness is rather lame and I feel pity more than anything at the moment.  On some level I'd like to blow the lid off this situation and get others involved too, but ultimately that's her style and not mine.  And I guess that I just don't care.  If someone wants to act like a douche toward me, well, that's their choice.  What am I supposed to do about it and why would I want to?  I choose to move on because life is too short and I'm too good of a person to deserve that kind of treatment.

Why would I want a false friend?  Why would I waste my energy exposing the ugliness when women like that usually do a good enough job exposing their own ugliness?  Given enough rope, they do eventually hang themselves.  Life is challenging enough so why would I want to stay in a group where this kind of d*ckish and duplicitous behavior occurs?  Why spend my time with thoughtless and inconsiderate @ssholes?

It would be one thing if this behavior was simple insensitivity and I've pondered this possibility at length.  I know that I am a hot-head and I have a tendency to fire first and ask questions later.  After bouncing the entire situation off my hubs at length, I've determined that I'm neither overreacting nor reading into anything.  It simply is not the case that someone is being a clueless twit.  This was designed to be intentionally hurtful and that's what I can't accept and will not tolerate.  While some people thrive on their own maliciousness and drama, I do not.  Again, I believe it's pretty pathetic to act this way at my age and certainly at hers.  I received her message loud & clear, therefore, I think I'll do this person a favor and tell them to go f*ck themselves.

Have you ever had to tangle with a middle-aged adolescent?  How did you handle the situation?

PS  If you think this is about you, it's a good clue that it is not.  In my experience, people like this come up with all kinds of dumb excuses to justify and ignore their own shockingly bad behavior.

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