Okay, that title isn't exactly true. My vagina is freaking wonderful and I love it. My vulva is nice so no complaints there. I have a hate-hate relationship with my cervix, but I don't usually have to monkey around with the gatekeeper of my innermost ladyparts so we have an unspoken understanding that it won't mess with me if I don't mess with it. But my uterus. . .oh, man, I swear that my uterus actively plots against me.
As if on cue, some wonderfully fantastic cue, I suddenly stopped bleeding four weeks after having the Mirena IUD inserted. Four friggin' weeks of bleeding was finally over! Yee-haw! I was ecstatic. Not surprisingly, I stopped feeling like I was slowly bleeding to death and felt energized. My mood improved almost overnight and all was looking right in my world.
Then I started spotting. Then I stopped the very next day. Then I started again the day after that. Oh, yes, you're reading this right. I'm in a daily loop of on-again, off-again spotting. Whoop-de-freaking-do!
If I weren't gripped by vomit-inducing fear at the thought of having my cervix meet with any implements or unnatural pressure any time soon, I'm pretty sure that I would demand to have this IUD removed. I am trying to keep in mind that my doctor said it's not uncommon for irregular bleeding to potentially persist for a couple of months after having an IUD inserted, but this is really getting old. The upside is that I would have had two periods by now and they would have no doubt included a couple of days of the ridiculous bleeding/gushing/flooding that prompted me to seek this option in the first place so it's nice that I've been spared that experience. Of course, I'm just having "normal" bleeding and/or spotting nearly non-stop instead so I'm not sure that I'm exactly better off at this point.
Stay turned for the next installment of As the Womb Turns. . .