Monday, March 4, 2013

My Vagina Hates Me

Okay, that title isn't exactly true.  My vagina is freaking wonderful and I love it.  My vulva is nice so no complaints there.  I have a hate-hate relationship with my cervix, but I don't usually have to monkey around with the gatekeeper of my innermost ladyparts so we have an unspoken understanding that it won't mess with me if I don't mess with it.  But my uterus. . .oh, man, I swear that my uterus actively plots against me.

As if on cue, some wonderfully fantastic cue, I suddenly stopped bleeding four weeks after having the Mirena IUD inserted.  Four friggin' weeks of bleeding was finally over!  Yee-haw!  I was ecstatic.  Not surprisingly, I stopped feeling like I was slowly bleeding to death and felt energized.  My mood improved almost overnight and all was looking right in my world.

Then I started spotting.  Then I stopped the very next day.  Then I started again the day after that.  Oh, yes, you're reading this right.  I'm in a daily loop of on-again, off-again spotting.  Whoop-de-freaking-do!

If I weren't gripped by vomit-inducing fear at the thought of having my cervix meet with any implements or unnatural pressure any time soon, I'm pretty sure that I would demand to have this IUD removed.  I am trying to keep in mind that my doctor said it's not uncommon for irregular bleeding to potentially persist for a couple of months after having an IUD inserted, but this is really getting old.  The upside is that I would have had two periods by now and they would have no doubt included a couple of days of the ridiculous bleeding/gushing/flooding that prompted me to seek this option in the first place so it's nice that I've been spared that experience.  Of course, I'm just having "normal" bleeding and/or spotting nearly non-stop instead so I'm not sure that I'm exactly better off at this point.

Stay turned for the next installment of As the Womb Turns. . .

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