What a Cool Kid!

Sometimes I pinch myself because I can't believe that I have such a wonderful son!  I love that little guy so much and I think he's so darn cool.  Here's the latest & greatest on my sweet boy:

~ I told him we were going to visit a friend and her son and he replied that he liked her.  I responded that I know he does.  Then he asserted, "I love her.  She's a nice lady."

~ He gets very excited on "school" days because he loves his teachers.  He chatters on about both of them and usually claims to love them.  Of course, he gets really shy when either of them are around and he'll hardly say a word.  He does, however, stare at them from afar. . .I think he's experiencing his first crush.

~ He lit up when I told him that we were going to visit one of his friends.  I asked if he was happy to see his friend and he said that he was and added that, "(child's name) my best friend."

~ He ran out of his room at nearly ten o'clock last night.  His latest bedtime stall tactic is to request socks so I asked him if he wanted his socks.  He said, "No.  I want PASTA!"  This is the same child who just three hours earlier made it very clear that he would not eat pasta that night.  I gave him socks and put him back to bed.

~ We were driving home yesterday evening and "Another Brick in the Wall - Part 2" came on the radio.  He said, "Pink Floyd."  I'm not really a fan so I blamed my husband.  Hubs claims that they've never listened to Pink Floyd together.  So how did the kiddo know who it was??

~ He was watching a program that he likes and the protagonist played three keys on the piano.  My son hummed the notes.  This might not be cool to anyone else, but I thought it showed a remarkable attention to detail and a good ear.

~ He flipped his fork and spoon over and began hitting the table, his plate, his placemat, and his cup.  I asked him what he thought he was doing and he replied, "I'm a drummer, Mama."  I let him know that we don't play drums at the table, but inside I thought his drum kit was pretty inventive.

Why Chicks Dig Guitarists

I might be horn-dog, but I'll let you decide after reading this post.  What's that?  You don't need to read this post to form an opinion on that matter?  Hm. . .

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you may have noticed that I've been cruising youtube a lot lately.  I love music and I've discovered that the site offers a plethora of live performances that are, quite simply, amazing to enjoy.  Over the last several weeks, I've had a blast spending several hours watching clips from long-forgotten television programs and epic concerts from long before my birth.

I was born around twenty-years too late and my musical appetite usually is only sated by late-60s to mid-70s folk music, yacht rock, and the sublime harmonies & polished arrangements that seem to be completely absent in modern music.  And guitars, baby.  Lord of mercy, I do love guitarists!

My great regret in life is that I never learned how to play an instrument - any instrument.  I was actually kicked out of band in school because I couldn't make sound happen when I blew a flute.  Uh, settle down, that's not a euphemism for anything sexy.  I really could not figure out how to hold my mouth when working with a flute. . .thankfully, the skin variety is far more receptive to my oral manipulations.  And, yes, that last part means exactly what you think!  Insert a saucy wink here!

I realize that I'm not dead and I still can find the time to learn how to pluck a few chords, but I don't see that happening.  In typical parent fashion, I am instead giving my son solid encouragement to take up an instrument.  I get the impression that most parents probably hate musical toys, but I actively have bought my son several instruments in an effort to encourage musical exploration.  Sure, there are times that the cacophony is a little hard to take, but I'm generally delighted by his artful performances. 

The best motherly advice I've given my son to date is this, "Be sure to learn how to be an instrument, the guitar or possibly the piano, because musicians get all the chicks."  So sue me, I want him to get laid by hot chicks when he's a grown up.  Yeah, I'm sure all this will be worked out in his therapy sessions in about 18-years.

I ran across a clip that effectively demonstrates why chicks dig guitarists.  And, to keep the horny vibe going, it's a song by Cream.  Heh, I wrote "vibe!"  And "horny" and "cream."  All in the same sentence!  That might be the dirtiest-sounding sentence I've ever written.  Okay, you're right; it's nowhere near reaching the notoriety of being the winner in the contest to find the top selection (or would that be bottom?) of my artistic literary depravity.

The entire performance is fantastically awesome, but Clapton is in full God-mode from about 4:05 through the end of the clip.  DAMN!  That mofo sure can play!  Add that he looks high as Hell in this performance and I'm just blown away by his gift.

Check at the 5:20 (to about 5:30) mark to see why I'm captivated by guitarists.  Honestly, even the most pug-ugly guitarist can get the chicks if he do that with his hands.  I don't think it would take more than around fifteen seconds with that kind of concentrated pressure and vibration - if you catch my drift!  I think I got wet just from watching it and I'm not talking about peeing myself. 

If a guitarist can work his instrument with that kind of skill and precision, just imagine what he could do with his hands on the instrument of your body.  Granted, there is no other guitarist who can come remotely close to the greatness that is Eric Clapton, but the point still stands.

You know, I don't think the word "might" is really necessary in my opening sentence. . .

My Favorite Guitarists

I was going to write a serious post tonight about pubic hair (bet you didn't know pubic hair was serious business, huh?), but I thought a lighthearted post would be easier to finish at this late hour. I chose to write about my favorite guitarists because it is a topic that I discuss often with my husband. Over the last seven years, we have discussed my favorite guitarists at least 1,007 times. I don't know why I keep bringing it up since our conversation is almost always exactly the same each time. I know what they say about opinions, but here you go:

1. Eric Clapton - Love, love, love him. He's so talented, so prolific, so handsome. "Let it Grow" is my favorite song of his, followed closely by "Running on Faith." I prefer traditional names, but I seriously wanted to name my son Clapton. My hubby, assuming our son might grow up to become a judge or doctor or something, said F-no!

2. Eddie Van Halen - Very original, very talented, and so cute back in the day. Everyone knows the Frankenstrat on sight and he blew everyone's mind when he played on Michael Jackson's "Beat It."

3. Joe Walsh - So talented, but so tortured. I suspect that most people only know him for his work with The Eagles, but he was legitimately famous before joining one of my favorite bands. Of course, if you're picking a favorite Joe Walsh tune, you have to pick "Life in the Fast Lane." He didn't just have a hand in writing that song, he freaking lived it.

4. Jimi Hendrix - I'm not really a Hendrix fan, but I am aware that he fundamentally changed music. Plus, he knew how to dress for attention and he rocked that 'fro. Of course, he literally followed the youthful advice to live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse, so we can only guess what he might have accomplished had he not bought it at age 27. I know he didn't write it, Bob Dylan did, but my favorite Hendrix song is "All Along the Watchtower."

5. I always have trouble picking #5. I want to say Prince, but I recognize that he's not a particularly awesome guitarist - he is a fantastically awesome lyricist though. Any suggestions?