I've had the Mirena IUD since Tuesday afternoon. It sucked epic levels of ass for the first 36-hours and then the cramping started easing up quite a bit. Tylenol helped a lot and having help with my kids was necessary so I'm very thankful to the friends & family who stepped up to help me out while I was busy crying about my snatch.
My period abruptly ended late Friday morning. This was entirely unexpected as I can't recall the last time I had such a short period. I was like, "Uh-uh, I know this game," and I wore a liner all day today because I fully expected another downpour of blood because that's what my body normally deals me. It never happened so :::thumbsup::: to a super-short period. I'm hopeful that it's a sign of things to come.
Speaking of coming. . .
I woke up having an orgasm today!!!
What's that, you say? I woke up having an orgasm today!! I don't customarily have spontaneous Os and I've only had what can only be called wet dreams in pregnancy so I can't help but wonder if the IUD is to blame. Or, more accurately, to thank.
I have often suspected that the hormones of pregnancy are why my libido spikes to the stratosphere while I'm PG and this teenaged boy sex drive yields the occasional orgasmic wake up call. Pregnancy orgasms are the best anyway - something about the uterus being so much larger, I suppose - and getting one without even trying is like a special gift. If having the best wake up call ever is a side effect of having the IUD, I'm pretty sure that I will insist on having one in my uterus until the day I die.
Doctor: But, Mrs. My-Name-Here, you're 75-years old and went through menopause decades ago. There is no reason why you need an IUD.
Me: Oh, yes, there is!!
Showing posts with label orgasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orgasm. Show all posts
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I'm Back in the Saddle Again!
I thought the Aerosmith song reference is appropriate because I'm finally allowed to get back on the horse. . .so to speak. Giddy-up!
Some more good news from my OB appointment yesterday is that my sex restriction has FINALLY been lifted. I haven't been allowed to have sex since I got a positive pregnancy test because I ended up experiencing over a month of spotting and bleeding. I've continued to have occasional spotting episodes so it's officially been over three months of no sex up in my house. Not only no sex, but total pelvic rest means no masturbation and no orgasms. Nothing, nada, zilch, zip.
As I told my OB at my previous appointment, it's become a no man's land down below. It's been so unused that I'm pretty sure that my daily shower is the only thing keeping the cobwebs out of my c*nt. My special fun zone was totally shut down and out of operation. I was seriously considering rubbing myself against random strangers on the street at one point to see if it would bring at least a tiny measure of sexual satisfaction, but frottage isn't really my thing. That and I don't really want to be labeled as a sex offender.
I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that I still experience spotting episodes. When do I experience spotting? After orgasm. Now, before you think that I've been flouting the pelvic rest rule and engaging in some masturbatory fun, I feel compelled to defend myself and say that I haven't. Only the love and concern that I have for my unborn baby could keep me from going for it on my own. Seriously, this has been a ridiculously long dry spell in my sex life.
So how is it that I'm coming? Well, I've been experiencing spontaneous orgasms in my sleep. Actually, they wake me up out of a sound sleep. I know, I know! I'm a 35-year old middle-aged woman, not a 15-year old teenaged boy. It is what it is and I can't explain it.
My OB was surprised that I'm having what can only be called wet dreams. I told him that it's not like I'm doing it on purpose and I have no idea why it's happening, but that it is distressing because it results in spotting. Of course, if it weren't for the spotting that occurs afterward, I'd be pretty freaking thrilled with myself and mentally giving my snatch a high-five.
After I explained that I'm not intentionally doing anything to make myself come, he casually mentioned that some women would kill to have such a pleasant wake up call and indicated that he's never had a patient tell him that they have a similar experience. I don't disagree that I'm damn lucky that this is happening (again, if it weren't for the spotting, I'd be totally thrilled), but I find it hard to believe that he's never had another patient have spontaneous orgasms in their sleep. He's been an OB/GYN for nearly 30 years and has probably had thousands upon thousands of patients so I can't possibly be the only one! Later, in his office, I pushed him on that point.
He insists that he's never had another patient indicate that they have had a similar occurrence and, due to the design of female anatomy and her sexual response, it's highly unusual to have a spontaneous orgasm with absolutely zero physical stimulation. Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with what it takes to make me come so I already know that. I smirked and nodded my head when he basically told me to not worry about it and just relax & enjoy.
I'm hoping to get some reassurance from readers that spontaneous orgasm is something that happens all the time in pregnancy - even if no one has told my doctor about it. I mean, I can't be that friggin' unusual. . .can I? Speaking anonymously, have you ever had this happen? If you told your doctor about it (frankly, I wouldn't have if it weren't for that stupid spotting), what did they say? My fingers are crossed that I'm not officially titled The World's Horniest Pregnant Woman.
Some more good news from my OB appointment yesterday is that my sex restriction has FINALLY been lifted. I haven't been allowed to have sex since I got a positive pregnancy test because I ended up experiencing over a month of spotting and bleeding. I've continued to have occasional spotting episodes so it's officially been over three months of no sex up in my house. Not only no sex, but total pelvic rest means no masturbation and no orgasms. Nothing, nada, zilch, zip.
As I told my OB at my previous appointment, it's become a no man's land down below. It's been so unused that I'm pretty sure that my daily shower is the only thing keeping the cobwebs out of my c*nt. My special fun zone was totally shut down and out of operation. I was seriously considering rubbing myself against random strangers on the street at one point to see if it would bring at least a tiny measure of sexual satisfaction, but frottage isn't really my thing. That and I don't really want to be labeled as a sex offender.
I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that I still experience spotting episodes. When do I experience spotting? After orgasm. Now, before you think that I've been flouting the pelvic rest rule and engaging in some masturbatory fun, I feel compelled to defend myself and say that I haven't. Only the love and concern that I have for my unborn baby could keep me from going for it on my own. Seriously, this has been a ridiculously long dry spell in my sex life.
So how is it that I'm coming? Well, I've been experiencing spontaneous orgasms in my sleep. Actually, they wake me up out of a sound sleep. I know, I know! I'm a 35-year old middle-aged woman, not a 15-year old teenaged boy. It is what it is and I can't explain it.
My OB was surprised that I'm having what can only be called wet dreams. I told him that it's not like I'm doing it on purpose and I have no idea why it's happening, but that it is distressing because it results in spotting. Of course, if it weren't for the spotting that occurs afterward, I'd be pretty freaking thrilled with myself and mentally giving my snatch a high-five.
After I explained that I'm not intentionally doing anything to make myself come, he casually mentioned that some women would kill to have such a pleasant wake up call and indicated that he's never had a patient tell him that they have a similar experience. I don't disagree that I'm damn lucky that this is happening (again, if it weren't for the spotting, I'd be totally thrilled), but I find it hard to believe that he's never had another patient have spontaneous orgasms in their sleep. He's been an OB/GYN for nearly 30 years and has probably had thousands upon thousands of patients so I can't possibly be the only one! Later, in his office, I pushed him on that point.
He insists that he's never had another patient indicate that they have had a similar occurrence and, due to the design of female anatomy and her sexual response, it's highly unusual to have a spontaneous orgasm with absolutely zero physical stimulation. Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with what it takes to make me come so I already know that. I smirked and nodded my head when he basically told me to not worry about it and just relax & enjoy.
I'm hoping to get some reassurance from readers that spontaneous orgasm is something that happens all the time in pregnancy - even if no one has told my doctor about it. I mean, I can't be that friggin' unusual. . .can I? Speaking anonymously, have you ever had this happen? If you told your doctor about it (frankly, I wouldn't have if it weren't for that stupid spotting), what did they say? My fingers are crossed that I'm not officially titled The World's Horniest Pregnant Woman.
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