For much of my life, I have had extraordinarily disappointing birthdays. I wouldn't go so far as to curse the day of my birth, but it has been decades since I've looked forward to my special day. To put it mildly, it has most often left something to be desired.
My husband knows the reasons why I feel particularly unloved and uncared about on my birthday and, to his credit, he has always tried very hard to make that day a good one for me. Last year, he was out of town for my birthday. . .other than when I was attending my brother's service, it has been the only time we've slept apart since we got together. It wasn't all badness & sadness though because I met up with some friends at a local theme park that day and they treated me to a very tasty funnel cake.
My birthday this year wasn't all that great, I swear that my son went out of his way to make me cry that day, but my husband certainly came through with what can only be called The Best Birthday Present of All Time!
After five or so years of casually looking and ten months of serious looking, we bought another house. Not only did we buy another house, but we bought a FREAKING AWESOME house that is exactly what we both wanted. It is the perfect place to raise our boys and we both fell in love with the location, the floor plan, the backyard.
When did escrow close on this house? On my birthday. As I said, best birthday present ever!
My husband has already told me that I shouldn't expect him to buy me another house for my birthday next year. . .geez, what a cheapskate! Ha!
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I HATE SHOPPING!
I've probably mentioned how much I hate shop and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I HATE TO SHOP! I can tolerate grocery shopping since, well, my family needs to eat. Other than that though, I can think of dozens of activities that I'd rather do than shopping. I know that a lot of women are shopaholics. . .I guess I'm more of an alcoholic - haha! Just a joke, people, lighten up! Anyway, circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to do a fair amount of shopping lately and it is totally getting on my nerves. So wish me luck and send prayers that this particular bit of shopping is over for at least thirty years. ;-)
Monday, October 25, 2010
Legacy of The Weirdo with the Beard-O
Billy Mays has been gone for over a year, but his legacy endures. What, exactly, is his legacy? Is it the devastatingly fashionable pairing of blue shirts with khaki pants? Is it sporting facial hair that makes barbers and hairless young men cry? No, his legacy is found in cupboards, closets, drawers, and garages across America. Useless crap that solves a non-existent problem yet somehow simplifies your life while cluttering up your house.
I'm willing to bet that you've seen some of his commercials a time or two. That is, unless you've been living under a rock for the last ten years. Or if you're one of those pseudo-intellectuals who likes to claim that you not only "never" watch television, but you don't even own one. Somehow watching television programming and movies on your laptop is okay though, amirite?
Here's the skinny on each and every one of his commercials: A bunch of morons demonstrate that they should not be trusted to walk among us in normal society. Seriously, the most mundane tasks are a challenge for these dolts and I wonder how they were capable of getting out of bed in the morning. Putting a nail in the wall? Too difficult! Grating cheese? It's so hard! Making a hamburger patty? Impossible! They put on a ridiculously sad face and are, no doubt, lamenting that they are such dipshits. At that point, our esteemed pitchman arrives on the scene and screams, "BILLY MAYS HERE. . ." and he explains that you just can't live without a metal hook to hang things on your wall, a cheese grater that is a plate, or a mold to make hamburgers.
His message was pretty simple: Chaos ensues if you don't buy Hercules Hooks, Grater Platers, or Big City Slider Stations. Then he appeals to our desire to get a good bargain. See, this crap is actually worth $40 or more, but they are able to sell it for $19.99 (+ Shipping & Handling). But WAIT! If you call in the next ten minutes, they will double your order. . .blah, blah, blah.
Why have one plate that grates cheese when you can have two? I always wondered why you would need two of the exact same object. It just seems to scream that the item must be totally flimsy crap that would break if you gave it so much as a hard look. Am I alone in not understanding the appeal of the double your order offer?
Perhaps I'm being too harsh on The Weirdo with the Beard-O. Some of the stuff that he hawked actually does work. OxiClean and Kaboom! both come to mind, but the vast majority of the items he represented were completely unnecessary useless junk.
His commercials were so pervasive and he was so persuasive that thousands upon thousands of television viewers succumbed to his sales pitch and picked up the phone (or the laptop) with credit card in hand. Maybe even someone you know. After all, if you buy in the next ten minutes they will double your order. . .of course, the additional shipping charges are quickly glossed over. But you should call and call right now!
Unfortunately, the people who are most susceptible to this sales style are generally the least able to afford whatever is being pitched. Not that any of it was expensive, but making credit card purchases when you are already in debt is the worst thing you can do. If there is one thing that people with a spending problem love to do, it's whip out credit cards and spend money that they do not have.
I guess that's his real legacy. An America deeper in debt, but with a bunch of stupid gadgets in our kitchens and garages. Thanks, Billy Mays, thanks a lot!
But never fear, compulsive spenders of the United States, Vince has stepped in to fill the super-sales void with Sham-Wows and Slap Chops. Call now and he'll send you two Slap Chops plus a Graty! Wonderful, just wonderful.
I'm willing to bet that you've seen some of his commercials a time or two. That is, unless you've been living under a rock for the last ten years. Or if you're one of those pseudo-intellectuals who likes to claim that you not only "never" watch television, but you don't even own one. Somehow watching television programming and movies on your laptop is okay though, amirite?
Here's the skinny on each and every one of his commercials: A bunch of morons demonstrate that they should not be trusted to walk among us in normal society. Seriously, the most mundane tasks are a challenge for these dolts and I wonder how they were capable of getting out of bed in the morning. Putting a nail in the wall? Too difficult! Grating cheese? It's so hard! Making a hamburger patty? Impossible! They put on a ridiculously sad face and are, no doubt, lamenting that they are such dipshits. At that point, our esteemed pitchman arrives on the scene and screams, "BILLY MAYS HERE. . ." and he explains that you just can't live without a metal hook to hang things on your wall, a cheese grater that is a plate, or a mold to make hamburgers.
His message was pretty simple: Chaos ensues if you don't buy Hercules Hooks, Grater Platers, or Big City Slider Stations. Then he appeals to our desire to get a good bargain. See, this crap is actually worth $40 or more, but they are able to sell it for $19.99 (+ Shipping & Handling). But WAIT! If you call in the next ten minutes, they will double your order. . .blah, blah, blah.
Why have one plate that grates cheese when you can have two? I always wondered why you would need two of the exact same object. It just seems to scream that the item must be totally flimsy crap that would break if you gave it so much as a hard look. Am I alone in not understanding the appeal of the double your order offer?
Perhaps I'm being too harsh on The Weirdo with the Beard-O. Some of the stuff that he hawked actually does work. OxiClean and Kaboom! both come to mind, but the vast majority of the items he represented were completely unnecessary useless junk.
His commercials were so pervasive and he was so persuasive that thousands upon thousands of television viewers succumbed to his sales pitch and picked up the phone (or the laptop) with credit card in hand. Maybe even someone you know. After all, if you buy in the next ten minutes they will double your order. . .of course, the additional shipping charges are quickly glossed over. But you should call and call right now!
Unfortunately, the people who are most susceptible to this sales style are generally the least able to afford whatever is being pitched. Not that any of it was expensive, but making credit card purchases when you are already in debt is the worst thing you can do. If there is one thing that people with a spending problem love to do, it's whip out credit cards and spend money that they do not have.
I guess that's his real legacy. An America deeper in debt, but with a bunch of stupid gadgets in our kitchens and garages. Thanks, Billy Mays, thanks a lot!
But never fear, compulsive spenders of the United States, Vince has stepped in to fill the super-sales void with Sham-Wows and Slap Chops. Call now and he'll send you two Slap Chops plus a Graty! Wonderful, just wonderful.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Where Do You Buy Bras?
Blogging is serious business for me tonight. If you're a dude, you'll probably want to skip this one though because I don't think you'll have anything constructive to offer.
We all have them, both males and females. The female version is celebrated in the media and adored by men the world over - well, at least in the US. They are called many things: mammaries, chest, sweater puppies, bosom, chi-chis, cans, boobies, maracas, The Twins, hooters, jugs, ta-tas, titties. You know, breasts.
I prefer to call mine "boobs" and I like my boobs to be unfettered by undergarments. I know society frowns upon it, but I rarely wore a bra as an adult. I had a couple of bras that I'd purchased way back when I was in my late teens, but I just didn't see the need to wear them very often. I didn't even bother to wear a bra when I got married - either time!
I'm sure I would have learned to love how a brassiere supports my breasts if I had actually had enough breast tissue to support. But I did not. My chest very closely resembled nipples on a ribcage. . .until I got pregnant. My bra size went from being maybe a 32A (I couldn't bring myself to purchase a AA bra as an adult) to a 32D while pregnant. I wore a sports bra nearly 24/7 while pregnant to support my burgeoning bosom. Not surprisingly, my chest (and nipples) ached nearly nonstop throughout my pregnancy. The Twins further inflated to DD+ status once I began breastfeeding.
While still pregnant, I bought several different nursing bras to use once my son was born. They were as comfortable as I could expect them to be and I needed all the support up top that I could get. I think those bras were really the best that money could buy. Medela Comfort Bra and Sleep Bra for the Win!!
Once my son was born, I inexplicably thought that my breasts would shrink when the two of us established a strong nursing relationship and I bought a 32B nursing bra at a large retailer. I never used that bra once while I was breastfeeding because my breasts were never smaller than a D-cup the entire time I was nursing. Of course, once the milk went away, so did my supremely awesome ta-tas.
I stopped nursing my son nearly a year ago. I have been wearing that same 32B nursing bra for nearly one year. I do laundry every single night, so it's not totally gross. But I am freaking tired of wearing this same nursing bra, day after freaking day. I'm not nursing and I have no need to wear such a decidedly "mom-ish" undergarment. However, I don't really know where to look for a nice & normal bra because I've never really bought one before. That's where I hope my readership comes through for me.
My boobs, previously (well, pre-pregnancy anyway) always so upright and sweet, now point downward without a little support. My husband thinks they're awesome, but I think they look like sad puppy dogs. I'm glad that I have photographic evidence of how great my boobies used to look because they no longer remotely resemble their former tiny greatness. My boobs droop a bit and I have more breast tissue than I'd prefer. I think I'm a B-cup, but I'll measure and make sure prior to making any purchase.
I realize this next series of questions are ones that are usually answered around the time that a girl goes through puberty, but I never really grew any boobs so I never had a big conversation with my own mother about bras. That's why I'm asking you, my friends, my readership. I'm looking for advice and I hope you come through.
Where do you shop for bras? What kind of bras do you like and why? What features make a good bra? How much does a good bra cost? Any tips or other advice? This Mama would appreciate your input, so please share!
We all have them, both males and females. The female version is celebrated in the media and adored by men the world over - well, at least in the US. They are called many things: mammaries, chest, sweater puppies, bosom, chi-chis, cans, boobies, maracas, The Twins, hooters, jugs, ta-tas, titties. You know, breasts.
I prefer to call mine "boobs" and I like my boobs to be unfettered by undergarments. I know society frowns upon it, but I rarely wore a bra as an adult. I had a couple of bras that I'd purchased way back when I was in my late teens, but I just didn't see the need to wear them very often. I didn't even bother to wear a bra when I got married - either time!
I'm sure I would have learned to love how a brassiere supports my breasts if I had actually had enough breast tissue to support. But I did not. My chest very closely resembled nipples on a ribcage. . .until I got pregnant. My bra size went from being maybe a 32A (I couldn't bring myself to purchase a AA bra as an adult) to a 32D while pregnant. I wore a sports bra nearly 24/7 while pregnant to support my burgeoning bosom. Not surprisingly, my chest (and nipples) ached nearly nonstop throughout my pregnancy. The Twins further inflated to DD+ status once I began breastfeeding.
While still pregnant, I bought several different nursing bras to use once my son was born. They were as comfortable as I could expect them to be and I needed all the support up top that I could get. I think those bras were really the best that money could buy. Medela Comfort Bra and Sleep Bra for the Win!!
Once my son was born, I inexplicably thought that my breasts would shrink when the two of us established a strong nursing relationship and I bought a 32B nursing bra at a large retailer. I never used that bra once while I was breastfeeding because my breasts were never smaller than a D-cup the entire time I was nursing. Of course, once the milk went away, so did my supremely awesome ta-tas.
I stopped nursing my son nearly a year ago. I have been wearing that same 32B nursing bra for nearly one year. I do laundry every single night, so it's not totally gross. But I am freaking tired of wearing this same nursing bra, day after freaking day. I'm not nursing and I have no need to wear such a decidedly "mom-ish" undergarment. However, I don't really know where to look for a nice & normal bra because I've never really bought one before. That's where I hope my readership comes through for me.
My boobs, previously (well, pre-pregnancy anyway) always so upright and sweet, now point downward without a little support. My husband thinks they're awesome, but I think they look like sad puppy dogs. I'm glad that I have photographic evidence of how great my boobies used to look because they no longer remotely resemble their former tiny greatness. My boobs droop a bit and I have more breast tissue than I'd prefer. I think I'm a B-cup, but I'll measure and make sure prior to making any purchase.
I realize this next series of questions are ones that are usually answered around the time that a girl goes through puberty, but I never really grew any boobs so I never had a big conversation with my own mother about bras. That's why I'm asking you, my friends, my readership. I'm looking for advice and I hope you come through.
Where do you shop for bras? What kind of bras do you like and why? What features make a good bra? How much does a good bra cost? Any tips or other advice? This Mama would appreciate your input, so please share!
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