"Shouldn't He Be Weaned By Now?"

This is a note that I wrote on my personal Facebook page.  I thought it was important enough to publish on my blog.  Why am I so passionate about defending rights to breastfeed?  Well, that's probably another blog post but the simple answer is because it's my baby, my breasts, my choice.  Not your baby, not your breasts, not your choice.  End of story.

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"Shouldn't he be weaned by now?"

Surely I'm not the only breastfeeding mother who has heard this question and here is my answer.  I will refer to this note each and every time I am asked the above question or any variation of the question that subtly implies I should not be breastfeeding my son.

The answer is the same if you're family, friend, or foe: I will do it until we're ready to quit and I have no idea when that will be so there's no sense in pressing the topic unless you're deliberately trying to antagonize me. There are zero negatives, it's so incredibly beneficial to child and mother, and he is barely even a year old so I haven't even once considered quitting yet. He won't be doing it forever and I'm so very glad that you're so concerned about my baby and me. The next time you ask, I'll be sure to gently enlighten you further that mammals are designed for this nurturing & nutritive activity and it is as normal a biological function as you eating your meal or drinking your beverage. Feel free to try to argue with me, but your problem isn't with me or my position- your problem is with science, history, and research. I know, I know, those darn pesky facts always getting in the way of an uneducated opinion!

Why is it that people feel that it is acceptable to ask such a question to a breastfeeding mother, but they wouldn't even think to ask a similar question to a bottle feeding mother?  A friend put it very well when she said:  my baby doesn't need to get off my boobs, but you need to get off my back.  Indeed!

I don't think that people are trying to be jerks (most of the time), but I do think that there is a not-so-subtle pressure to wean long before now. It is sometimes disguised as concern (you must want a break from that baby), sometimes it's justified by anecdote (I had formula and I turned out fine), sometimes it's just sheer ignorance of human biology (they don't need breastmilk if they have teeth), and sometimes it's just douchebaggery. I prefer to believe that most people aren't in the last category. It's aggravating nonetheless and, in a less determined mother, it would probably shake her resolve to continue her breastfeeding relationship with her child.  That is a shame and many women find their breastfeeding goals are subtly or overtly undermined by friends, family, and society in general.  I'm a stubborn old mule these days and I will keep on keeping on because I'm confident in my decision. :-)

I can't necessarily blame people for thinking it's weird because society thinks it's weird and most people don't care enough about human lactation to educate themselves about it. They are just uniformed. Society says breasts are A-Ok for filling out bikinis, selling beer, and generally being sexy. Baby attached to something "sexy" is skeevy because babies are not sexy so on some level I do get why people get weirded out.  However, someone with a hangup about basic biology is not my problem and it darn sure is not my child's problem.  Educate yourself about it and you'll quickly get over it.

Once upon a time I was slack-jaw shocked to happen upon my 10-month old niece breastfeeding.  To be fair, I was only 13-years old and I'd never seen such an old infant nursing.  I almost laugh that I actually thought a ten-month old was pretty old to be nursing!  I got over it. . .boy, did I!  As my husband once teasingly said, I'm like Ms. La Leche League.  Oddly enough, I've never once been to an LLL meeting.  I just have a passion for helping women achieve their breastfeeding goals because I know that there is tremendous pressure to just give in and pop a bottle of formula in your baby's mouth.  Unfortunately, it's sooo easy for that first bottle to be the beginning of the end of a breastfeeding relationship.

I have found that most people who get weirded out by seeing my son at my breast will be weirded out no matter how many facts and truths I present. Most of you guys have seen me breastfeed and I'm hardly a whip-out-the-boob type of nurser. I don't prefer to call a lot of attention to what we're doing when he's nursing. I will, however, absolutely not withhold breastfeeding from my baby if he needs/wants it no matter where we are or who is there and that is that.  His right to eat is greater than your right to not feel icky about seeing him eat.

Did you catch that last part?  His right to eat.  It's breastfeeding.  Feeding!  My son has a right to eat.  Just like you do.  Just like I do.  My son happens to get his milk from my breasts.  He still has the right to eat.  Period!

Part of the reason why I'm so vocal about supporting a woman's breastfeeding goals is because women who choose to breastfeed really do need a cheerleader to encourage them. It is not easy and society really does not encourage it. Things are better now in some ways (laws protecting the child's right to eat!), but worse in others because breasts are more sexualized than ever and you can hardly turn on the TV without seeing someone displaying their boobs. But a baby on the breast? Well, that's just gross & indecent! I've also heard people say they find nursing to be immodest, tacky, and classless.  I'm glad that such backward thinking will eventually die out and hopeful that upcoming generations will be less likely to keep breasts solely in the "sexy" category.  I'm definitely doing my part to normalize breastfeeding to my kids so they won't even bat an eye when they see a woman nursing her child.

You know, that's something that should outrage everyone: things are/were so messed up if you want to breastfeed your child that laws actually had to be enacted to protect your child's right to eat! It is a damn shame that laws had to be written to allow the feeding of another human being! No matter your position on breastfeeding, nursing in public, or anything else, that is an outrage!

Equally outrageous is that no one would say boo to me if I were bottle feeding my son at this age. Well, one or two might, but in general no one would have a single word to say if I were bottle feeding my one-year old. Society's bias against breastfeeding will change one day, but even my husband (hardly the most crunchy guy on the block) has noted that the pressure to remove your breast from your child is intense from the moment you leave the hospital. Frankly, I think his observation depends on the hospital as I happened to deliver our boys at a very breastfeeding friendly hospital with knowledgeable and supportive nursing staff.  Even then, it was a horribly painful struggle with my first child and there were times that I questioned why I was still moving forward and trying to make breastfeeding work.  I ended up nursing him until he was 13-months and I still regret that I weaned him at such a young age.

The easiest answer to your question is this:  I'm not sure when he'll wean, but it will eventually happen.

You Can't Keep Good Breasts Down!

I'm currently 14w4d pregnant.  Though I went up a few cup sizes by the time I gave birth to my son, I was surprised that my breasts already grew by two cup sizes well before the end of the first trimester with this pregnancy.  Hubs thought my twins looked luscious, but he was forbidden from touching them because they were painfully tender.  If you've been pregnant, you probably understand.  My sweater enhancers are no longer nearly as sore, but I'm thinking he won't be interested in my bodacious ta-tas because of a new development. 

I'm leaking.

Yes, my breasts are already leaking.  I'm barely in the second trimester and my bras have already been colostrum-stained by that precious liquid gold.  I ended up having to wear nursing pads from around the fifth or sixth month on with my son and I'm amazed that my milky fountains have already kicked in hard enough that the overflow is spilling out.  Right about now I'm kicking myself in the butt for packing all of my reusable cloth nursing pads - grrr!

It's debatable whether or not my body was built for easy conception and pregnancies, but my breasts sure as heck were built for easy nursing!

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If you've been pregnant, when did you notice that your breasts started leaking?  For those of you with more than one pregnancy, did you find that second (and subsequent) pregnancies yielded earlier leakage?

They're NOT Your Boobs So You Can Just Suck It!

I recently read an article about so-called extended breastfeeding and it got me thinking.  Dangerous, I know.  But it made me wonder why it is that people (even pediatricians if you can believe it!) imply that breastmilk is no longer beneficial to the child once they hit their first birthday. Why would it be so wonderful (and it is) in infancy and be of no consequence (or a detriment) in toddlerhood?? 

It just makes no sense and it aggravates me to no end that so many believe that one-year is the maximum length that a child should receive breastmilk.  I know that I fully weaned my son at just at 13-months, but I have often felt that I should have let him nurse until at least around 18-months.  Yes, I believe that I weaned him too young.  After all that I've learned about breastmilk and nursing in general, I would go so far as to say that I feel that one-year is the bare minimum that I would want to nurse a child of mine. 

Okay, I heard the groans from some of you.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it out of your system so you can pay attention and you might actually learn something or, at the very least, get a little food for thought.  Here, I'll write what you're thinking so we can get on with it:  that Heather is such a hippie (guilty!), she's just trying to keep her son a baby (uh, okay?), I suppose she would have nursed him through High School (no way), what pervert wants to nurse that long (you need to look in the mirror to see the perv), doesn't she know it's not healthy to nurse that long - SCREECH - Stop!  This is the one that boggles my head.

I have found that even people who support breastfeeding for six-months or one-year will balk at nursing that goes beyond the first birthday.  I'm sad to say that even pediatricians are guilty of using this faulty logic.  What I don't understand is how someone can believe that breastfeeding is important for an infant, but somehow also think that the milky fountains should be shut off as soon as the child hits toddlerhood.  What do they think happens?  The milk is made fresh throughout the day so it isn't like it spoils or goes bad.  It certainly isn't unhealthy from a nutritional standpoint (and oftentimes is the only nourishment that the child will accept while ill or feeling unwell) so what exactly is so "wrong" about breastfeeding after the birthday cake has been enjoyed?

Does 18-months sound too "old" for breastfeeding?  Really?  One and one-half years is too old?!  Seriously?  I suppose it might seem that way to some, but understand I'm coming from the viewpoint that breastfeeding is the normal and natural way to feed, soothe, comfort, and generally "mother" our children and a 1 1/2-year old child is still very much a young toddler who needs all of those things.  I know it's popular to believe so, but our children really aren't mini-adults who need to be pushed to grow up too soon.

What's that you say?  It weirds you out to see a walking toddler suck milk from the source?  Why would that weird anyone out?  Breasts may well be fun in the sack, keep crumbs off your lap, and help enhance sweaters, but they do definitely serve a dual purpose and producing milk for human children is the reason our breasts are equipped with milk ducts.  Why keep breasts in only the "sexy" compartment when they are also designed to fill another purpose?  Don't hold back the ta-tas, they are incredibly versatile and really can fill many roles!

Sure, breasts are hot.  But breastfeeding isn't sexy, it's simply feeding a child.  If you wouldn't be disgusted or offended by a mother bottlefeeding, you shouldn't feel either negative emotion about a mother breastfeeding.

Interestingly enough, I don't have a lot of breast tissue, but they are sensitive and I'll admit that I did worry about whether or not I'd get "turned on" when my baby nursed.  I shouldn't have wasted my time on such a dopey thought.  Seriously, it turned out that breastfeeding is probably the least sexy thing I've ever done.  Let's start with the fact that I cried when I tried to nurse in the early weeks because it hurt so darn bad!  Thanks to that awful early experience, my advice to everyone is to see a lactation consultant while still in the hospital if at all possible because I suffered needlessly for far too long!  Once the initial seven-weeks of torture was over, breastfeeding was easy and awesome though it wasn't remotely sexy.  Sex literally was the furthest thing from my mind when my son nursed, but nipples dripping (okay, spraying) milk all over the place just doesn't do it for me so I acknowledge that your results may vary.

If you have an issue with seeing a young toddler breastfeeding, well, you're the one with the issue - not the mother and certainly not the child.  You can just suck it if you don't like it. . .just don't suck them or you'll likely get a knuckle sandwich courtesy of mama.

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The benefits of nursing your child until one year of age are well documented and known to most of the general public.  I thought it would be good to list out the benefits of so-called extended nursing (that is, nursing that goes beyond one year) for your baby:

- Nutrition.  Breastmilk is still nutritious and healthy for a toddler.  Sure, it's composition is different than what you'd produce for a one-month old, but a toddler is also eating solids and doesn't require breastmilk for all nutrients.  Understand that this does not mean there aren't any nutrients in breastmilk (honestly, that's about the most absurd thing I've ever heard), it just means that the toddler also gets nutrients from other sources.
- Decreased risk of illness.  This is huge to me because sick kids aren't any fun!  Breastmilk contains anti-bodies that are very beneficial to the child's immune system.  In fact, some of these immunological factors are actually increased in the 2nd year of lactation until weaning occurs!  Breastfed children suffer far fewer colds and illnesses than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.
- Reduced allergies.  Breastfed children as a whole have far fewer allergies than their formula/cow milk fed counterparts.  I've read that this is due to having a healthier gut lining, but haven't really researched it as allergies don't run in our families.
- Confidence & Independence.  Seems counterintuitive to say that extended nursing will raise a more confident child, but studies have shown that it does because that child's needs have been lovingly met and the child received plenty of consistent nurturing.  Is it possible to do both without breastfeeding?  Sure, but whipping out the twins is easy, natural, and normal and I'm all about doing whatever's easy, natural, and normal.
- It's encouraged by experts.  Don't just take it from a middle-aged suburban blogger, listen to the experts.  Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding beyond age one for the health benefits to baby and mama.  Indeed, WHO recommends it continue beyond age two! 
- Convenience.  Unlike bottles and sippy cups of formula or cow milk, your breastmilk is always there, always safe to consume, always ready for your child.
- It's comforting.  Toddlerhood can be a scary time for a child and most don't have the ability to express their concerns and fears so they throw tantrums.  Countless breastfeeding mothers can attest to the fact that a little comfort nursing can head off most tantrums and soothe even the most upset child.


In case the benefits to your child aren't enough, what about the benefits afforded you by nursing?  This list isn't specific to extended nursing. . .breastfeeding for any length of time is beneficial.

- It's easier.  Waking up at all hours of the day and night to prepare and clean bottles & nipples wasn't very appealing to me.  What could be easier than putting the baby to breast and then putting them back to bed?  One could argue that co-sleeping mothers have it even easier as they don't even have to get out of bed.  Heck, I didn't want to deal with bottles during waking hours either!
- Easier weight loss after pregnancy.  What woman hasn't lamented how they looked after delivery?  The body expects the mother to breastfeed and stores up fat to help facilitate breastfeeding.  The easiest way to move that fat off your body is to breastfeed!  Most, not all, women find that breastfeeding makes post-partum weight loss extremely easy.  Note that this isn't a green light to chow down on double cheeseburgers or you might find that you're just as heavy or heavier as when you were pregnant!  Remember that you only need around 300 extra calories each day while breastfeeding.
- Lowered risk of many cancers.  Breast cancer risk in particular is lowered through breastfeeding, but ovarian, uterine, and endometrial cancers are also lower in women who breastfed their children.
- Delayed return of menses and ovulation/fertility.  This is primarily true for exclusive breastfeeding (ZERO supplementation with solids or formula), which is recommended for the first six months of an infant's life anyway, but most women find that menses doesn't return for a loooong time if they are committed to nursing.  While it's possible that one may ovulate without experiencing a period, it's most often true that you aren't ovulating if you aren't getting periods.  Of course, you should use a backup form of birth control if you aren't exclusively breastfeeding.
- Increased emotional well being.  Prolactin, the hormone that helps produce milk, naturally promotes relaxation and relieves stress.  Speaking for myself, I always felt the world simply fell away when I was nursing my son and sometimes would be shocked to discover that I had actually dozed during the nursing session.  Given my history with insomnia, the extra rest was awesome!  Oxytocin, stimulated during let down, is called the bonding hormone because it inspires loving feelings.  I lost count of the number of times that I felt my heart would burst out of my chest with love and joy for my son while nursing.  Sure, my love burns for my son like the fire of a thousand suns, but my feelings were somehow magnified by the oxytocin while nursing.

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A friend of mine summed it up perfectly when she said, I'll paraphrase, if it's not your kid or your boobs why do you care?

Hear Me RAWR!

Sometimes I swear that my body is out to get me. 

I haven't been able to fall asleep until after 2:00 am for a couple of nights.  Guess what?  I still have to get up and take care of my son whether I've slept enough or not.  That might not have been a problem 10 or 15 years ago, but I really have a hard time handling life when I'm over-tired.  I don't eat dinner at 4:30 pm or watch Matlock reruns, but I'm not exactly a spry teenager or young adult any longer.  My exhaustion got the better of me late this afternoon and I crashed out on the couch.  I don't generally fall asleep easily, and certainly not on the couch, but I could not keep my eyes open for one more second.  Thank goodness my husband was home for a little bit before returning to work this evening!

My breastmilk finally dried up completely around a month ago.  I haven't had any leakage since then.  My breasts have been a tingly mess since last night.  I often felt the tingling right before let down or right after a nursing session.  Maybe eating most of an entire bunch of kale (two batches of kale chips and colcannon) wasn't such a great idea.  Don't think that eating kale has anything to do with anything?  Guess again.  Apparently kale is a food that can help increase breastmilk supply.  Great.  Just what I need.  So much for my new favorite snack.  Oh, man, it was so good though that it was totally worth my discomfort.  Since my boobs hurt, that naturally means that my son has headbutted me in the breasts twice since yesterday.  Ouch!

I'm tired, my boobs hurt, and I'm in a pretty irritable mood all around.  Don't mess with me tonight, world, I'll take you all down if you so much as look at me funny!  Sounds a lot like PMS to me.  I think this might be one of those rare occasions that I go to sleep before my husband arrives home from work.

Farewell to My Sweet Leche

Sometimes big things come in small packages.  Case in point:  my breasts.  My breasts were small, but mighty. 

I have had to wear nursing pads since around January 2008.  Those who are quick at math can easily calculate that my son wasn't born for several months after I began wearing nursing pads.  Why was I wearing nursing pads for months before my son was born?  Because my breasts were already leaking.  Really, that should have been my first clue as to what was in my future.

By the time my son was born, my breasts had increased by three cup sizes.  After his birth, they went up one more.  Ouch!  I guess you just can't stretch skin that tightly and that quickly without ending up with stretch marks.  The only place that I have stretch marks are on my breasts.

Knowing that I was going to have a c-section left me distraught for many reasons.  I am afraid of regional nerve blocks.  I had never had a surgery.  I wanted to spend as little time in a hospital as possible.  And, mainly, I was concerned about the impact it would have on my breastfeeding relationship with my son. 

My concerns were so great that I actually inquired if my OB thought I should attempt a vaginal birth.  My son was breech and, while my OB had attended plenty of vaginal breech births in his career, he didn't seem too keen on the idea.  He didn't outright say he thought it was a bad idea, but he did caution me that they are generally a much more painful birth and they do carry higher risks.  So I had a c-section.  My son was breech and sunny-side up, so I guess it really was the best that I didn't attempt a vaginal delivery.

I was in a recovery room for two hours after my son was born.  I had fallen asleep during delivery and, other than when I saw him pulled from my abdomen, I didn't remember seeing my newborn.  I spent those two lonely hours pleading with the nurse to let me see my son.  I cried a lot and I was desperate to make my legs move enough that she would send me up to my room. 

I was in such a hurry because I knew the clock was ticking.  The longer I spent screwing around in recovery, the more likely that some "helpful" nurse might stick a bottle (artificial nipple) in my son's mouth.  Worse, they might try to satisfy his natural sucking need by giving him a pacifier.  My husband was given two very firm instructions from me:  Do not let the baby out of your sight for one moment and do not let them give the baby a bottle or a pacifier.

"I want to see my baby.  Please let me see my baby," was my constant refrain.  I finally regained enough mobility that they sent me to my room.  Of course, I immediately asked for my baby.

My husband brought me our son and I wept at the sight of his sweet face.  Once everyone left us alone, I put him to my breast.  It HURT!  It REALLY HURT!  I kept telling myself that this must be normal and to push ahead.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  Yes, breastfeeding can feel somewhat uncomfortable in the beginning.  But it shouldn't make you cry every single time you put your child to your breast.  And it sure as heck shouldn't leave you with bloody scabs on your nipples.

I ended up getting the hospital's double electric pump and I used it after every feeding while I was in the hospital. I actually credit this with giving me my remarkably high milk supply. I ended up with bottle after bottle of colostrum by the time I left the hospital. When we gathered all of my bottles from the nursery refrigerator, one of the nurses said, "Oh, you're the one with all the colostrum."

My problem was ever a lack of supply, it was that my son and I just couldn't get a proper latch.  The lactation nurse at the hospital wasn't very helpful and I got the distinct impression that she thought I should just bottle feed.  I would not even consider it, so I kept trying.  The nipples on their bottles had a ridiculously unnatural shape and the flow was altogether way too fast - two things that a breastfeeding mama doesn't want from a supplemental bottle.  When I was too sore to even attempt a latch, we fed him my colostrum with a tiny plastic syringe.  Drop by golden drop.

My son lost just at 10% of his body weight and they told me that they'd begin to bottle feed him if he didn't start putting that weight back on.  I spent all night with him at my breast before they were going to weigh him again.  I actually woke him every 90 minutes to try and force in another cc or so of colostrum.  I was so thankful that he gained enough weight that they'd send us home.

My nipples were sore as heck and still sported scabs, but the real pain didn't kick in until I'd been home a couple of days.  My milk came in.  I was literally reduced to tears.  At that moment, I would have to say that my breasts hurt far more than my incision.  Yes, it was that painful. 

Compounding the problem was that we still didn't have a good latch.  Every single feeding session was still impossibly painful.  Now my breasts grew another cup size and they were heavy with milk.  My skin was stretched so tight that it looked shiny.  My nipples were nearly flattened by the stretching.  Ouch!

I visited the lactation clinic and actually got some good pointers on positioning and latching.  By weighing before and after a nursing session, they also verified that my son was getting plenty when he was at my breasts.  But it still hurt.

My husband was very bothered by all of this.  I think he hated seeing me weep every time I fed the baby and I fed the baby every ninety-minutes.  He actually said that he could understand why people give up on nursing and just decide to formula-feed.  I said I'd give it another week.

I promised myself that I'd try just one more week for weeks.  And weeks.  And weeks.  I was surprised when I realized one day that it didn't hurt. 

It took seven weeks.

Once we got the latching down, breastfeeding was pretty darn simple.  No need to measure or mix formula,  my boob juice was ready to go at all times.  No need to warm bottles, my breastmilk was a perfect temp every time.  No need to wash bottles, my nipples were clean to use whenever they were needed.  I'm sure my husband was also thankful that I breastfed because he never had to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.  As a bonus for my son, my milk was never the same flavor every time.  It took the delicious flavors of whatever foods I was eating.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my son likes a wide variety of foods and tastes - he's been exposed to them his entire life!

It wasn't all totally awesome though.  Remember that plentiful milk supply I boasted about?  As a result, I ended up having engorgement problems for months after my son was born.  For those not in the know, your breasts get so full of milk that they actually get hard.  It's painful, but the pain immediately disappears once the pressure is relieve by expressing milk.  Even that isn't really a bad thing though because I ended up with tons of milk stored in our freezer.  This milk was great for mixing in with my son's first solids - rice, barley, and oat single grain cereals.

Breastmilk is an amazing thing.  Everyone knows the obvious reasons why breastmilk is so awesome, but there are so many other wonderful things about it.  Did you know that your milk changes as your baby grows?  Did you know that breastmilk changes even during the same nursing session?  Foremilk is in the beginning of the nursing session; it's thin and somewhat watery.  Hindmilk is found toward the end of a nursing session; it's fatty and creamy.  The foremilk quenches thirst, while the hindmilk satisfies hunger.  Amazing stuff, huh?

My son was exclusively breastfed until he was five months old.  He received no other nourishment other than the milk from my breasts.  I would have EBFd longer, but the pediatrician suggested that it might decrease my son's spitting up.  It didn't.  Knowing what I know now, I think I should have expressed out all my foremilk and only let my son have the fatty hindmilk.

I promised my husband that I'd stop nursing before our son turned one.  I broke that promise by about a month.  I didn't really want to stop, but my son was less interested in nursing by then anyway.  He knew how to use a cup and a straw so I guess my breasts weren't as novel. 

Though I looked forward to actually having my first martini in nearly two years (hard liquor in particular takes a long time to process out of your body), I was sad the first night that I put him to bed without any nursing.  I cried when he went right to sleep without wanting to nurse.

I thought that was the end of it.  As is often the case, it wasn't that easy.  My son occasionally would stick his face in my shirt when he was upset or tired, but he didn't really seem to miss my milk at all.  But I didn't stop producing it.  Not by a long shot.

I bought some cloth nursing pads because disposable pads were expensive.  Plus, I didn't generally leak that much milk any longer.  However, months after I last nursed my son, I still would experience let down so hard that my shirt was drenched.  This was particularly true if I saw or heard a baby.  If the baby was crying, my nipples were guaranteed to run like a faucet of breastmilk.  I wore nursing pads for over a year after I weaned my son.  I didn't particularly want to, but they were a necessity.

I stopped wearing nursing pads two weeks ago.  I haven't had any leakage and I'm hoping that I won't.  But, I must confess, I'm a little sad to bid farewell to my sweet milk.


Postscript:  Lest you think that I'm some militant milker who gets up in everyone's business about how they choose to feed their own baby, I'm not.  I overheard someone giving a co-worker grief about her decision not to breastfeed her new baby.  I know that I'm usually so shy & retiring, but I couldn't stop myself from telling the other person that it was none of their business how she chooses to feed her baby and to stay out of her personal decision.  My husband was surprised and said, "And you're like Ms. La Leche herself!"  Yes, I am a big fan of breastmilk.  Yes, it is the very best thing to feed a baby.  Yes, I believe that it was the only thing good enough for my son.  But I also feel that no one has the right to insert themselves in another parent's decisions (with one notable exception) and it really rankles me to hear someone laying guilt on a new mother.

Where Do You Buy Bras?

Blogging is serious business for me tonight. If you're a dude, you'll probably want to skip this one though because I don't think you'll have anything constructive to offer.

We all have them, both males and females. The female version is celebrated in the media and adored by men the world over - well, at least in the US. They are called many things: mammaries, chest, sweater puppies, bosom, chi-chis, cans, boobies, maracas, The Twins, hooters, jugs, ta-tas, titties. You know, breasts.

I prefer to call mine "boobs" and I like my boobs to be unfettered by undergarments. I know society frowns upon it, but I rarely wore a bra as an adult. I had a couple of bras that I'd purchased way back when I was in my late teens, but I just didn't see the need to wear them very often. I didn't even bother to wear a bra when I got married - either time!

I'm sure I would have learned to love how a brassiere supports my breasts if I had actually had enough breast tissue to support. But I did not. My chest very closely resembled nipples on a ribcage. . .until I got pregnant. My bra size went from being maybe a 32A (I couldn't bring myself to purchase a AA bra as an adult) to a 32D while pregnant. I wore a sports bra nearly 24/7 while pregnant to support my burgeoning bosom. Not surprisingly, my chest (and nipples) ached nearly nonstop throughout my pregnancy. The Twins further inflated to DD+ status once I began breastfeeding.

While still pregnant, I bought several different nursing bras to use once my son was born. They were as comfortable as I could expect them to be and I needed all the support up top that I could get. I think those bras were really the best that money could buy. Medela Comfort Bra and Sleep Bra for the Win!!

Once my son was born, I inexplicably thought that my breasts would shrink when the two of us established a strong nursing relationship and I bought a 32B nursing bra at a large retailer. I never used that bra once while I was breastfeeding because my breasts were never smaller than a D-cup the entire time I was nursing. Of course, once the milk went away, so did my supremely awesome ta-tas.

I stopped nursing my son nearly a year ago. I have been wearing that same 32B nursing bra for nearly one year. I do laundry every single night, so it's not totally gross. But I am freaking tired of wearing this same nursing bra, day after freaking day. I'm not nursing and I have no need to wear such a decidedly "mom-ish" undergarment. However, I don't really know where to look for a nice & normal bra because I've never really bought one before. That's where I hope my readership comes through for me.

My boobs, previously (well, pre-pregnancy anyway) always so upright and sweet, now point downward without a little support. My husband thinks they're awesome, but I think they look like sad puppy dogs. I'm glad that I have photographic evidence of how great my boobies used to look because they no longer remotely resemble their former tiny greatness. My boobs droop a bit and I have more breast tissue than I'd prefer. I think I'm a B-cup, but I'll measure and make sure prior to making any purchase.

I realize this next series of questions are ones that are usually answered around the time that a girl goes through puberty, but I never really grew any boobs so I never had a big conversation with my own mother about bras. That's why I'm asking you, my friends, my readership. I'm looking for advice and I hope you come through.

Where do you shop for bras? What kind of bras do you like and why? What features make a good bra? How much does a good bra cost? Any tips or other advice? This Mama would appreciate your input, so please share!