Friday, February 8, 2013

Motherhood. . .Sooo Gross!

My baby has been cutting the same teeth since around Thanksgiving.  He's been drooly, pukey, weepy, clingy, and screamy.  He's demanded snuggles, cuddles, nursie, and chewie toys.  One tiny tooth finally started peeking from his pink gums a couple of weeks ago.  I took a breath and enjoyed having my sweet & happy baby back again.

Then the molars started erupting.  His upper left gum gave the first indication of what was to come when I noticed one night that it was swollen and black.  My first thought was that the poor little guy had a rotten tooth before it even showed up.  No, he had an eruption hematoma.  It looked terrible, within a week, he had another one show up on his lower right gum.  I have never seen gums nearly this swollen and it was painful just to look at it so I really felt for my baby.

I've tried everything to relieve the poor child's pain and nothing really works for long.  The only thing that seems to make him happy for very long is to be cradled and nursed.  So I've done a lot of that in the last few weeks to get the kid through this tough time. 

Those molars finally started appearing and I was looking forward to getting my sweet baby back.  I probably would have, but he caught a little cold.  Or, at least, I think it's possible that he has a cold.  He tends to get a runny nose when teeth are coming, but it normally only lasts a couple of days.  He's had a runny nose now for several days and it doesn't seem to be improving. 

Teething and a cold. . .just the ticket to getting a good night of sleep!  Yeah, no, it pretty much is guaranteed that I won't sleep tonight any more than I have the last three nights.  The upside is that I can doze a little while he's tucked in bed and nursing.  The downside is that I have a bitey baby in bed with my breast in his mouth.  Babies don't use their teeth at all when actively nursing, but he tends to clamp down as he drifts off to sleep.  That's right, I've ended up with bleeding nipples a time or two this week.  Yeouch!

So bleeding nipples and two eruption hematomas are gross enough, but it's nowhere near the zenith of grossness.  You might even think that it doesn't even warrant a blog post whining about the grossness of motherhood.  Keep reading you sickos.

One of the things that is most amazing about breastfeeding is that the body will produce antibodies in response to what the mother is exposed to and this helps strengthen the immune system of the breastfed child.  It is one of the reasons that breastfed children tend to not get ill as frequently as their formula fed counterparts.  With this in mind, I frequently kiss my kids.  Well, I'd kiss them anyway, but I make sure to up the kissy-kissy stuff when anyone in the family is feeling poorly so that baby can get the maximum benefit. 

I fed my baby some chicken dinosaurs for lunch earlier this week.  Yeah, yeah, I fed my baby chicken dinosaurs - go ahead and judge.  They take less than a minute and he eagerly eats them.  Heck, even I like them and I generally hate kiddie fare.  I suspect that the secret ingredient is crack.  There is  no secret ingredient?  Well, damn, I just like crappy chicken dinosaurs!

So baby has had a runny nose and I've been all kissy monster on him lately because I want to help him fight whatever he's fighting.  Or he just has a runny nose from teething and I don't need to kiss his sticky little face.  I'll stick with kissing. . .but I'll make sure from here on out to really look where I'm planting my pucker. 

I kissed his cheek after lunch and something ended up in my mouth.  Typing that makes me realize just how gross it is, but it was not my thought process at the time.  "Hey, a little bit of chicken dinosaur.  Awesome!  Hey, this chicken dinosaur bit is kinda salty.  Why was it on his cheek?  What is this bit of whatever in my mouth and why am I thinking about eating it??"  I pulled it out and it was not a tiny bit of a chicken dinosaur.

It was a booger.


Another gross thing happened.  I know, another thing?!  Yes, another thing.  Some people ride the gravy train, but I apparently have a round trip ticket on the gross train.  All aboard!

My baby was toddling around one day and I caught a stinky whiff of something.  I figured that he had either tooted or pooped so I did the normal mom thing to check.  No, not the novice mom thing where you sweep their crack with your finger.  I just pulled the back of the diaper open and took a quick look.

A quick look - ha!  Some things can not be unseen.  Even things that were seen with a quick look!

What did I see?  What was so gross?  I saw him actually pooping in his diaper.  Remember how I mentioned that he's all drooly & stuff from the teething?  Liquid pouring out his mouth usually means liquid pouring out of his butt.  I saw soft & liquidy poo filling the diaper.

I will never eat chocolate soft serve again.  Never!


  1. I've actually had to catch my kid's poop as he pooped it. After bathtime...right into my hand. But I've never eaten a booger! That really is gross! Lol

  2. To be fair, it's not like I sat down and scarfed up a heaping helping of boogers. But, yes, it was really gross! I've never had to catch a poo (never so much as got poo on my hand even with cloth diapers!) so I'd say we're about even on the motherhood's grossness scale. haha