Here's a real quick English lesson before the post: Irony is the opposite of what most people think it means. You'd expect a big guy to be called "Fatty" so that is not ironic, but calling him "Slim" fits the definition. I've always been clumsy and accident prone and my parents bestowed upon me the ironic nickname "Grace" at an early age. After my OB appointment yesterday, I think I have earned a new ironic nickname. Just call me "Class" from now on. It all started a couple of days ago. . .
I've written about how I primp before a doctor visit and, knowing that I had an upcoming appointment, I decided to get reacquainted with my razor. All was going well until I got to the main attraction. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned the dangers in shaving areas that you can't see after I cut my labia a month or two ago. That sucked, but it was a clean slice and it healed quickly.
So I've established that shaving by touch alone can be hazardous. This time around I not only couldn't see because my belly obscures my line of sight, but also because I've been wearing my glasses and I obviously don't wear those in the shower. Even if I could see my sn@tch around my belly, I wouldn't be able to see it without working eyes. I was blind x 2 and using a sharp instrument on tender areas - what could possibly go wrong?
I passed my razor over what I thought were the edges of the hedges. A rinse revealed to my fingers that I had instead cut a hole right around the middle of the turf up top. How I so badly misjudged where my razor actually was, I have no idea. I might add that things aren't so bushy down below that I could just fluff things up with a hair pick later to disguise the damage. That's right; I may be a hippie, but I still don't sport a pubic 'fro. Figuring that I was probably thinking it looked worse than it really did, I left well enough alone and put my razor away. I actually went to bed and forgot about it.
As is customary, I surveyed the landscape the next morning as I was getting dressed and HOLY CRAP! I had a giant freaking hole in the middle of my pubic hair. I stared at it, wondering how to fix this horrible hair cut when the obvious solution came to me. In for a penny, in for a pound. Yep, I decided to shave it all off.
After I removed every last hair, I remembered why I had used the razor in the first place. I had a dang doctor's appointment. I might tell my doctor about my spontaneous orgasms, I might smile during breast exams, but I have NEVER presented a completely bald vulva for a pelvic exam and the very thought of someone other than my husband seeing EVERYTHING made me feel terribly uncomfortable.
It's not that my vulva is weird or anything (well, any weirder than any of them look), but I just feel ultra-ultra naked when I go totally bare. What woman wants to be ultra-ultra naked with a stranger fingering her in front of her husband? Actually, that might fly in certain circumstances but not with a doctor who I like and trust. Not only that, but friction tends to engorge the area when I don't have a little bit of hair up top to help buffer things and that leaves me feeling extremely turned on and/or looking extremely irritated. I wouldn't care if I was all red and inflamed looking, but I sure as heck don't want the doctor to think that I'm presenting a wet & horny looking pu$$y because of the stupid pelvic exam.
I could have tried to reschedule the appointment, but his schedule is usually very full and I didn't want to risk losing the appointment I did have. I was trying to think when the last time was that I had a pelvic exam and why. All I could come up with was it was when I was still having significant bleeding problems in this pregnancy and I think the last one I had was right after I had completed my first trimester. I decided that I probably wouldn't need another pelvic exam although I'd experienced another spotting episode over Labor Day so I kept my appointment.
You know, I did not have a pelvic exam yesterday so all my worries were for nothing. That's not to say that I didn't do something so totally boneheaded that I still cringe to think of it. Read on. . .
Yesterday was a hot day. It may not have felt all that hot to the non-pregnant members of the population, but it was hot as the blazes to me. When it's hot out, I prefer to nap wearing as little as possible. With this in mind, I stripped off my clothes (including panties & bra) and slipped on a nightgown when it was naptime. I've been sleeping poorly now for weeks upon weeks so I let naptime last as long as I possibly could before having to jam over to the doctor's office.
My hubs woke me up and said that I had to get dressed because we had to go. He grabbed our son and, while getting ready to put our boy in the car, our dumb dog ran out of the house. This happened as I was pulling a dress out of the closet. The yelling, barking, and resulting mayhem caused me to slip the dress over my head and run outside. I grabbed my son, fearing that our dog might become roadkill, and pulled him in the house while hubs dealt with the dog. Hubs got the dog under control and put back in the house. He put the kiddo in the car while I grabbed my shoes and hopped in the car.
Observant readers may notice what I did not put on. What was I not wearing? Panties.
A bare vulva, no panties (bra was missing too, BTW), and a dress. Class, man, pure class. When did I notice my missing undergarments? When we were half-way to the office and were already running late. Wonderful, just wonderful.
I did not have a pelvic exam so one might think that my whorish attire wouldn't be noticed, right? Wrong! Remember that I was wearing a dress? That means that I need to lift my dress to expose my abdomen so the Doppler can amplify the sound of my baby's heartbeat. Generally, my doctor grabs a sheet and tucks it in the waistband of my skirt or pants while performing this part of his exam.
Guess what? There was nothing for him to tuck the sheet into yesterday. Not only that, but he also took a fundal height measurement and that most definitely revealed that not only was I not wearing panties, but that I was ultra-ultra naked down below.
Ever the professional, even with who I assume is his nuttiest (and perhaps sluttiest) patient, he inquired if there was a reason I'd disrobed and if there was something I wanted him to check out. Uh, no Doc, that's pretty f*cking far from what I'd like because now I feel ultra-ultra naked and hella embarrassed. It was like I was the only one who showed up naked on the nude beach. Sure that I could see my husband's smirk in my peripheral vision, I gave a dismissive wave of the hand and simply said, "No. It's a long story." The doctor wisely kept his mouth shut.
I'd say that I'm officially "that" patient and I have most definitely earned my new ironic nickname. Have you ever had an embarrassing mishap while visiting the doctor? Please share and help me feel like I might still have some tiny lingering shred of dignity left intact.
Showing posts with label underpants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label underpants. Show all posts
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Panty Post
I was going to write a post about a d-bag who I'll never have to see again, but a friend's Facebook status totally hijacked my thought process. I give you this instead: The Panty Post.
My friend was curious about panty preferences. Specifically thong or booty shorts. As you would expect, I weighed in with my opinion. I always thought I was pretty mainstream in the underpants department, but I guess not.
I hate booty shorts. Hate, hate, hate them. My friend, being a smart mouth, said that they figured I'd love booty shorts. Yeah, yeah, I have a big ass. My friend has known me since high school and can attest that I have always had a big butt. An unfair fact is that I sported an uncommonly small waist, no boobs, and a ginormous ass. Funny side story, I had another friend from high school who used to swear that I was the inspiration for Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back.
I think my large posterior is the reason why I don't like booty shorts. See, all that extra material on my buttcheeks inevitably travels when I walk or sit. This results in a huge wad of fabric up my crack. My butt is big, but my buttcrack is normal sized (I think???) so all that material is really uncomfortable and I end up picking my seat all the time if I wear this type of underpants.
I prefer thongs, bikinis, the occasional pair of granny panties, and going commando. None of these seem all that out of the norm, but my granny panty admission stimulated quite a bit of conversation. I thought that every chick wears granny panties at some point, but I guess I'm the Lone Ranger. Except, perhaps, for actual Grannies. I mean, I don't wear them every day or anything, but I don't see anything wrong with wearing them at certain times. You know, like at that time of the month.
I actually figured that my commando admission would have been more scandalous. My mother was definitely scandalized by it when we were talking about panties several years ago. I told her that it wasn't bad because I never go bare when wearing pants. Her jaw dropped and she said it was way worse to go out sans panties when wearing a dress or skirt. I guess I hadn't thought of it in an easy-access sort of way. It's not like I do it all the time or anything, but I kinda think the airflow downstairs is refreshing. To each her own, right?
Thongs & bikinis are so mainstream that they really don't need any explanation. I will say one thing, though. I think that fat chick thongs suck. And I say this as a fat chick. Seriously, it becomes a looong thong. Think of the sex scene in the movie Shallow Hal and you'll know exactly what I mean.
I don't imagine that anyone will give their opinions on underpants, but I thought I'd toss out this post anyway. Let's face it, ladies, our men don't generally give a crap about what panties we're wearing. . .they just want what's underneath. Feel sexy and act sexy and you'll be sexy - no matter what you're wearing. ;-)
My friend was curious about panty preferences. Specifically thong or booty shorts. As you would expect, I weighed in with my opinion. I always thought I was pretty mainstream in the underpants department, but I guess not.
I hate booty shorts. Hate, hate, hate them. My friend, being a smart mouth, said that they figured I'd love booty shorts. Yeah, yeah, I have a big ass. My friend has known me since high school and can attest that I have always had a big butt. An unfair fact is that I sported an uncommonly small waist, no boobs, and a ginormous ass. Funny side story, I had another friend from high school who used to swear that I was the inspiration for Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back.
I think my large posterior is the reason why I don't like booty shorts. See, all that extra material on my buttcheeks inevitably travels when I walk or sit. This results in a huge wad of fabric up my crack. My butt is big, but my buttcrack is normal sized (I think???) so all that material is really uncomfortable and I end up picking my seat all the time if I wear this type of underpants.
I prefer thongs, bikinis, the occasional pair of granny panties, and going commando. None of these seem all that out of the norm, but my granny panty admission stimulated quite a bit of conversation. I thought that every chick wears granny panties at some point, but I guess I'm the Lone Ranger. Except, perhaps, for actual Grannies. I mean, I don't wear them every day or anything, but I don't see anything wrong with wearing them at certain times. You know, like at that time of the month.
I actually figured that my commando admission would have been more scandalous. My mother was definitely scandalized by it when we were talking about panties several years ago. I told her that it wasn't bad because I never go bare when wearing pants. Her jaw dropped and she said it was way worse to go out sans panties when wearing a dress or skirt. I guess I hadn't thought of it in an easy-access sort of way. It's not like I do it all the time or anything, but I kinda think the airflow downstairs is refreshing. To each her own, right?
Thongs & bikinis are so mainstream that they really don't need any explanation. I will say one thing, though. I think that fat chick thongs suck. And I say this as a fat chick. Seriously, it becomes a looong thong. Think of the sex scene in the movie Shallow Hal and you'll know exactly what I mean.
I don't imagine that anyone will give their opinions on underpants, but I thought I'd toss out this post anyway. Let's face it, ladies, our men don't generally give a crap about what panties we're wearing. . .they just want what's underneath. Feel sexy and act sexy and you'll be sexy - no matter what you're wearing. ;-)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Potty Training Post
Several moms have asked me how I potty trained my son. I certainly don't mind talking about potty training, but I decided to write this post so that I don't have to continue repeating myself. On May 4th, I began a six-day series in this blog on potty training, but this is a much more exhaustive detail of how I actually approached potty training. It has been over two months since my son has worn a diaper. We do not (and have never) used pull-up style diapers.
For starters, I used Lora Jensen's 3-Day Potty Training method. I didn't follow it completely and I totally rejected one part of it, but I went with a lot of her method. I highly recommend that you purchase her e-book to read the entire method for yourself. My son was about ten days shy of his second birthday when I decided to go for it. It worked for us and it might work for you too!
Note that all of this is not from Lora Jensen's method (quite a bit is my own), but here's a quick breakdown of the potty training journey that I had with my son (whenever possible, the links go to the actual products I used/use):
BEFORE
- My husband & I let our son see us use the restroom and we would sing-song "Daddy (or Mommy) has to go pot-ty. . ." when we went. My purpose in doing this is so that he would make a connection that not only do we all go potty, but that it's a normal event. It isn't shameful and we go potty in the toilet. We sang the song because the boy likes singing.
- Get the entire household on-board with the potty training method you choose to use. You do not want to send mixed messages to a new learner. This includes using the same terminology. Some might say that I'm doing my son a disservice by not using proper words (urine, feces, etc.), but I use pee, poo-poo, potty, and toilet.
- Commit to whatever method you choose to use. This is really important. Potty training one day, not the next, and again in another couple of days is terribly confusing. The child doesn't know if you're serious or not and, well, it's easier to soil yourself than run to the potty so why should they bother taking this seriously?
- It might be messy and it might be stressful, but believe in your child's ability to do this! If you don't believe in them, how can you expect them to believe in themselves? They will pick up on your attitude, whether or not you say a word. It is entirely doable to potty train a child in three days - my son is proof. Well, proof that it can be done in four days anyway.
- I put a potty chair in our bathroom for weeks, maybe months, beforehand. I let him sit on it fully clothed (or with his diaper down) whenever he wanted. I'd let him know that this special potty chair was for him to use when he becomes a big boy. I liked this specific potty chair because it had a deep cup to catch the urine/poo, it comes apart incredibly easily for cleaning, and it was really cheap. Plus, the top part can be used as a toilet ring on top of the toilet.
- I also put a simple toilet ring in the bathroom, next to the toilet. The one I bought had Winnie the Pooh on it and the play on words (Pooh, poo) still makes me laugh; I guess I'm easily amused. Every now & then I would put it on the toilet and let him know that he can go potty in the toilet whenever he wants when he's a big boy. I liked this specific toilet ring because it has handles on the side. That might not sound important to you or me, but it is when you're a 25-pound child sitting on what must appear to be a huuuuge toilet for the first time. Plus, it just sits on top of the toilet so there is no need to fight with removal when you need to go to the restroom - easy on, easy off.
- I picked up a couple of step stools to help the boy reach the sink and the toilet on his own. I have a single step for the toilet and a double step for reaching the sink. The single step has rubber grips on the top and on the bottom of the legs so it is sturdy on a tiled floor and it is curved so it sort of hugs the shape of the toilet. The double step one has a little storage space under the top step. I stored fun stuff for him in there: stickers, silly little toys, stuff like that.
- I bought some fun foaming handsoaps in bright colors that he could use to wash his hands. I said that these soaps were for him to use once he's a big boy who uses the toilet.
- I also bought a Peter Potty toddler urinal and set it up in the bathroom, but he still hasn't used it even once. I'm a little frustrated since it cost me $40, but it's easier to just have them pee in the toilet so I really can't complain.
- Though my son's crib mattress has a plasticky cover, I always have a fitted waterproof mattress pad under the fitted crib sheet to prevent stains and/or odors. Though it costs a few dollars more, I have found that the Carter's brand holds up significantly better than the Circo brand.
- I made sure to have a small waterproof pad (I actually just used a small sheet saver) to protect the carseat. I also have a big waterproof pad that I spread out for him whenever he is on my bed.
- I took him to the store weeks before I decided to start PTing. I enthusiastically told him that he was "going to be a big boy soon" and that he was allowed to pick out his very own "big boy underpants!" I held out some options and he picked Elmo (shocker!) and Nick Jr. cartoon characters. I excitedly told him that Daddy wears big boy underpants and he (my son) would be wearing them soon too! I ended up buying the little guy 20 pair of underpants.
- I stocked up on Clorox wipes to clean up messes and sanitize the potty chair after each use. Though I'm partial to the Orange scent, the Fresh and Lemon scents aren't too bad. Costco & Sam's Club each have a 4-pack that works out to pretty darn cheap per container.
- For several weeks leading up to PTing, I would remind him that he was going to be a big boy soon and that meant that he could use the potty! I was always upbeat and excited, like it was something to look forward to rather than something to dread.
- I would have him follow me to the toilet to rinse out his poopy diapers and toss all the dirty dipes in the diaper pail. I would let him know that babies go potty in a diaper, but big boys wear underpants and go potty in the toilet.
- I also would point out younger children wearing diapers and specifically say that they are wearing "baby diapers" and I'd follow that up by mentioning that he'd be a "big boy" soon and wear his "big boy underpants."
- I cooked up plenty of meals that I packaged in single serve containers so that I wouldn't be distracted away from my son during the three days that I originally committed to potty training.
- Make sure to have plenty of snacks, juices, and fruits/veggies/high fiber foods on hand. You do not want the child to get constipated while learning about the potty because it could scare them away from using the toilet.
- Make sure you have no reason to dash out to the store during the first three days. Stock up on toilet paper, paper towels, tampons, milk, eggs, whatever you might need in those three days.
- Remember that accidents, while messy, are very helpful learning experiences. How's that for a silver lining??
DURING
- The day that I decided to start began a little different than most days. I had an early morning appointment and the little one tagged along. On the way home, I talked up that this was the day he was going to become a big boy.
- We arrived home and I had him help me "throw away" his disposable diapers and pack away his cloth diapers. I'll admit that I kept the disposable diapers - those suckers are wildly expensive! The entire time, I kept chatting that he was going to be a big boy very soon.
- I let him pick out a pair of underpants. I removed his diaper and put him in the underpants. I told him that it was his responsibility to keep his underpants clean & dry. He only had on a shirt and underpants, but no pants.
- I told him that he needs to let Mama know if he has to go potty so we can run to the toilet. I congratulated him on becoming a big boy and we started our day.
- I plied him with fluids and high-fiber snacks. The idea is that you want to give them plenty of opportunities to go potty.
- I probably said, "You need to let Mama know when you need to go potty," and "Do you have to go potty?" about 1,000 times in that first day alone. I probably checked to see if he was clean & dry at least 500 times. Okay, okay, those are exaggerations. But I did both of these things every ten to fifteen minutes. All. Day. Long.
- We didn't turn on the television once or have any friends over during the four days that we were at home so that I could remain totally focused on my son. He was always within an arm's reach so that I could catch every accident as it was happening.
- We hugged and cuddled so much in these first days of potty training. I did this for a couple of reasons: I wanted him to be close so that I could catch an accident as it was happening and I wanted to give him plenty of reassurance and love.
- When he started to have an accident, I'd hustle him to the restroom and on the potty chair. I'd reassure him that everyone has accidents when they are learning how to be a big boy and I'd remind him that it's his responsibility to keep his underpants clean & dry.
- I'd have him help me clean up (and put the dirty underpants in what was formerly a diaper pail) after accidents and then let him pick out his fresh underpants. Sometimes he'd want a new pair for no reason and I let him change if he wanted a different pair. I think he liked having that control and, for being such a small thing, it sure made him happy.
- I found that the second day was worse than the first. I think he was testing me to see if I'd give him back his diapers. Once or twice I reminded him that we don't have diapers for him to use anymore. I stuck with the plan and he ultimately ended up catching himself having accidents a couple of times and ran to the toilet on his own.
- My son was resistant to defecating in the toilet or potty chair. I kept pushing the fruit juice (something he rarely gets so it really gets things, um, moving) and high-fiber foods. The first time he did it in his potty chair, I gave him a special stuffed animal. It wasn't like I made a big deal, though I did clap and let him know that he was such a big boy to make poo-poo in his potty chair, but I wanted to reward him for doing something that he clearly did not want to do. I gave him a packet of gummy snacks or a cup of juice for each bowel movement for the first couple of weeks of potty training. I phased it out pretty quickly though because I didn't want him to always expect a treat for doing something that he could easily do.
- I still used baby wipes to clean him up for a few weeks after beginning to potty train. However, I called them "bathroom wipes" instead of "baby wipes" so as not to confuse him. Remember, he was a big boy now so he wouldn't be using baby wipes. These days I just use toilet paper on his bottom, which makes going potty in public much easier.
- I've found that my son doesn't usually have accidents during sleep. This means that I don't have to change his bedsheets if I can grab him right when he wakes up. I'll admit that this is tougher to do than it sounds and he still has the occasional night time accident.
- I initially began training him to use a potty chair, but I got him using the regular toilet as soon as he got it. My reason is that cleaning a potty chair is just as unappealing as a diaper and using the regular toilet is less messy. I also feared that he'd develop a potty chair habit that would make using a regular toilet somewhat uncomfortable. That's also the reason that I didn't let him get used to going potty in the portable potty chair or using a portable toilet ring. Life is easier and less messy this way.
- I have found that nocturnal accidents have stopped (except the night he had a high fever) since he moved to a big boy bed. Perhaps he somehow made the connection that babies sleep in cribs and babies soil themselves so it must be okay to soil yourself if you sleep in a crib? Or maybe it's just easier to get up, get out of bed, and call for help to get on the toilet? I guess it could also be that he's all puffed up about being a big boy (with a big boy bed!) so he doesn't want to do "baby" things anymore? I don't know the reason, but I thought I'd share the info in case your little one has a lot of night time accidents and is still in a crib. Moving him to a toddler bed sure did end bed wetting for my son.
- If you cloth diaper (or even if you don't), I wonder if a fleece or wool pull-up style cover would help with night time accidents? Has anyone tried this theory? If so, please let me know. I'm a PUL kinda gal and I never used either fleece or wool.
IN PUBLIC
- You will probably need to leave your house at some point and you'll have to have a plan to deal with toileting, and possible accidents, while away from home. It's helpful to plan this in advance.
- I liked having the Kalencom Potette Plus 2 in 1 because it is both a travel toilet ring, but also a stand-alone travel potty. It uses plastic bags with an absorbent thing at the bottom so that urine doesn't splash around in the bag. I keep it set up in the back of my car (for emergencies) and he had to use it a few times in the early weeks.
- I began telling him to squeeze his muscles like he was stopping his pee so he could hold it when we were out. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not, but these days he can keep his muscles squeezed long enough that we can always make it to a toilet.
- I have found that I must let him know that each place we visit has a toilet that he can use whenever he has to go potty. Doing this has stopped all accidents when we're in public.
- I keep a fresh change of clothes in both my handbag and in my car. Nothing fancy, just underpants and shorts in case they are needed.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I liked the all-or-nothing approach and it clearly worked well for us. It's true that my primary objective was to get my son out of diapers, but it was very important to me that I not injure his psyche in the pursuit of a diaper-free household. I know it's Freudian and all, but I did not want to cause him long-term damage because I was zealously pursuing my objective. With that in mind, had my son been fearful (fear that I couldn't soothe) or tearful (tears that I couldn't soothe), I would have held off for another few weeks.
Other than my one breakdown (which I detailed in one of the previous potty training posts), I was impossibly upbeat, encouraging, and enthusiastic during the entire process. I never once raised my voice or was critical in the least. This is a very foreign concept to a child and they may stubbornly cling to their diaper. Losing their diaper might feel like a loss of security to a young child. The longer they've had the diaper, I suspect the longer they want to keep it - up to a certain age anyway.
Lora Jensen gives a specific age that she says is idea for PTing - 22 months. I don't know about that, but I do think that young toddlers are certainly more pliable than an older child. Possibly even more eager to please their parents too. My son needed a fourth day at home and he was a little older (just shy of 24 months) than the age she specifies, so maybe she is right after all. I'll also add that I needed the fourth day to boost my confidence in his ability to hold his potty until he was on a toilet.
My personal parenting philosophy is that I don't turn everyday events into battlegrounds. This means that I don't fight with my son to eat meals, go to bed, use the toilet, and stuff like that. I don't think that my way is the only way, but it worked wonderfully for us and I hope that this post has been helpful to potty training (or wanting to potty train) parents in my readership.
For starters, I used Lora Jensen's 3-Day Potty Training method. I didn't follow it completely and I totally rejected one part of it, but I went with a lot of her method. I highly recommend that you purchase her e-book to read the entire method for yourself. My son was about ten days shy of his second birthday when I decided to go for it. It worked for us and it might work for you too!
Note that all of this is not from Lora Jensen's method (quite a bit is my own), but here's a quick breakdown of the potty training journey that I had with my son (whenever possible, the links go to the actual products I used/use):
BEFORE
- My husband & I let our son see us use the restroom and we would sing-song "Daddy (or Mommy) has to go pot-ty. . ." when we went. My purpose in doing this is so that he would make a connection that not only do we all go potty, but that it's a normal event. It isn't shameful and we go potty in the toilet. We sang the song because the boy likes singing.
- Get the entire household on-board with the potty training method you choose to use. You do not want to send mixed messages to a new learner. This includes using the same terminology. Some might say that I'm doing my son a disservice by not using proper words (urine, feces, etc.), but I use pee, poo-poo, potty, and toilet.
- Commit to whatever method you choose to use. This is really important. Potty training one day, not the next, and again in another couple of days is terribly confusing. The child doesn't know if you're serious or not and, well, it's easier to soil yourself than run to the potty so why should they bother taking this seriously?
- It might be messy and it might be stressful, but believe in your child's ability to do this! If you don't believe in them, how can you expect them to believe in themselves? They will pick up on your attitude, whether or not you say a word. It is entirely doable to potty train a child in three days - my son is proof. Well, proof that it can be done in four days anyway.
- I put a potty chair in our bathroom for weeks, maybe months, beforehand. I let him sit on it fully clothed (or with his diaper down) whenever he wanted. I'd let him know that this special potty chair was for him to use when he becomes a big boy. I liked this specific potty chair because it had a deep cup to catch the urine/poo, it comes apart incredibly easily for cleaning, and it was really cheap. Plus, the top part can be used as a toilet ring on top of the toilet.
- I also put a simple toilet ring in the bathroom, next to the toilet. The one I bought had Winnie the Pooh on it and the play on words (Pooh, poo) still makes me laugh; I guess I'm easily amused. Every now & then I would put it on the toilet and let him know that he can go potty in the toilet whenever he wants when he's a big boy. I liked this specific toilet ring because it has handles on the side. That might not sound important to you or me, but it is when you're a 25-pound child sitting on what must appear to be a huuuuge toilet for the first time. Plus, it just sits on top of the toilet so there is no need to fight with removal when you need to go to the restroom - easy on, easy off.
- I picked up a couple of step stools to help the boy reach the sink and the toilet on his own. I have a single step for the toilet and a double step for reaching the sink. The single step has rubber grips on the top and on the bottom of the legs so it is sturdy on a tiled floor and it is curved so it sort of hugs the shape of the toilet. The double step one has a little storage space under the top step. I stored fun stuff for him in there: stickers, silly little toys, stuff like that.
- I bought some fun foaming handsoaps in bright colors that he could use to wash his hands. I said that these soaps were for him to use once he's a big boy who uses the toilet.
- I also bought a Peter Potty toddler urinal and set it up in the bathroom, but he still hasn't used it even once. I'm a little frustrated since it cost me $40, but it's easier to just have them pee in the toilet so I really can't complain.
- Though my son's crib mattress has a plasticky cover, I always have a fitted waterproof mattress pad under the fitted crib sheet to prevent stains and/or odors. Though it costs a few dollars more, I have found that the Carter's brand holds up significantly better than the Circo brand.
- I made sure to have a small waterproof pad (I actually just used a small sheet saver) to protect the carseat. I also have a big waterproof pad that I spread out for him whenever he is on my bed.
- I took him to the store weeks before I decided to start PTing. I enthusiastically told him that he was "going to be a big boy soon" and that he was allowed to pick out his very own "big boy underpants!" I held out some options and he picked Elmo (shocker!) and Nick Jr. cartoon characters. I excitedly told him that Daddy wears big boy underpants and he (my son) would be wearing them soon too! I ended up buying the little guy 20 pair of underpants.
- I stocked up on Clorox wipes to clean up messes and sanitize the potty chair after each use. Though I'm partial to the Orange scent, the Fresh and Lemon scents aren't too bad. Costco & Sam's Club each have a 4-pack that works out to pretty darn cheap per container.
- For several weeks leading up to PTing, I would remind him that he was going to be a big boy soon and that meant that he could use the potty! I was always upbeat and excited, like it was something to look forward to rather than something to dread.
- I would have him follow me to the toilet to rinse out his poopy diapers and toss all the dirty dipes in the diaper pail. I would let him know that babies go potty in a diaper, but big boys wear underpants and go potty in the toilet.
- I also would point out younger children wearing diapers and specifically say that they are wearing "baby diapers" and I'd follow that up by mentioning that he'd be a "big boy" soon and wear his "big boy underpants."
- I cooked up plenty of meals that I packaged in single serve containers so that I wouldn't be distracted away from my son during the three days that I originally committed to potty training.
- Make sure to have plenty of snacks, juices, and fruits/veggies/high fiber foods on hand. You do not want the child to get constipated while learning about the potty because it could scare them away from using the toilet.
- Make sure you have no reason to dash out to the store during the first three days. Stock up on toilet paper, paper towels, tampons, milk, eggs, whatever you might need in those three days.
- Remember that accidents, while messy, are very helpful learning experiences. How's that for a silver lining??
DURING
- The day that I decided to start began a little different than most days. I had an early morning appointment and the little one tagged along. On the way home, I talked up that this was the day he was going to become a big boy.
- We arrived home and I had him help me "throw away" his disposable diapers and pack away his cloth diapers. I'll admit that I kept the disposable diapers - those suckers are wildly expensive! The entire time, I kept chatting that he was going to be a big boy very soon.
- I let him pick out a pair of underpants. I removed his diaper and put him in the underpants. I told him that it was his responsibility to keep his underpants clean & dry. He only had on a shirt and underpants, but no pants.
- I told him that he needs to let Mama know if he has to go potty so we can run to the toilet. I congratulated him on becoming a big boy and we started our day.
- I plied him with fluids and high-fiber snacks. The idea is that you want to give them plenty of opportunities to go potty.
- I probably said, "You need to let Mama know when you need to go potty," and "Do you have to go potty?" about 1,000 times in that first day alone. I probably checked to see if he was clean & dry at least 500 times. Okay, okay, those are exaggerations. But I did both of these things every ten to fifteen minutes. All. Day. Long.
- We didn't turn on the television once or have any friends over during the four days that we were at home so that I could remain totally focused on my son. He was always within an arm's reach so that I could catch every accident as it was happening.
- We hugged and cuddled so much in these first days of potty training. I did this for a couple of reasons: I wanted him to be close so that I could catch an accident as it was happening and I wanted to give him plenty of reassurance and love.
- When he started to have an accident, I'd hustle him to the restroom and on the potty chair. I'd reassure him that everyone has accidents when they are learning how to be a big boy and I'd remind him that it's his responsibility to keep his underpants clean & dry.
- I'd have him help me clean up (and put the dirty underpants in what was formerly a diaper pail) after accidents and then let him pick out his fresh underpants. Sometimes he'd want a new pair for no reason and I let him change if he wanted a different pair. I think he liked having that control and, for being such a small thing, it sure made him happy.
- I found that the second day was worse than the first. I think he was testing me to see if I'd give him back his diapers. Once or twice I reminded him that we don't have diapers for him to use anymore. I stuck with the plan and he ultimately ended up catching himself having accidents a couple of times and ran to the toilet on his own.
- My son was resistant to defecating in the toilet or potty chair. I kept pushing the fruit juice (something he rarely gets so it really gets things, um, moving) and high-fiber foods. The first time he did it in his potty chair, I gave him a special stuffed animal. It wasn't like I made a big deal, though I did clap and let him know that he was such a big boy to make poo-poo in his potty chair, but I wanted to reward him for doing something that he clearly did not want to do. I gave him a packet of gummy snacks or a cup of juice for each bowel movement for the first couple of weeks of potty training. I phased it out pretty quickly though because I didn't want him to always expect a treat for doing something that he could easily do.
- I still used baby wipes to clean him up for a few weeks after beginning to potty train. However, I called them "bathroom wipes" instead of "baby wipes" so as not to confuse him. Remember, he was a big boy now so he wouldn't be using baby wipes. These days I just use toilet paper on his bottom, which makes going potty in public much easier.
- I've found that my son doesn't usually have accidents during sleep. This means that I don't have to change his bedsheets if I can grab him right when he wakes up. I'll admit that this is tougher to do than it sounds and he still has the occasional night time accident.
- I initially began training him to use a potty chair, but I got him using the regular toilet as soon as he got it. My reason is that cleaning a potty chair is just as unappealing as a diaper and using the regular toilet is less messy. I also feared that he'd develop a potty chair habit that would make using a regular toilet somewhat uncomfortable. That's also the reason that I didn't let him get used to going potty in the portable potty chair or using a portable toilet ring. Life is easier and less messy this way.
- I have found that nocturnal accidents have stopped (except the night he had a high fever) since he moved to a big boy bed. Perhaps he somehow made the connection that babies sleep in cribs and babies soil themselves so it must be okay to soil yourself if you sleep in a crib? Or maybe it's just easier to get up, get out of bed, and call for help to get on the toilet? I guess it could also be that he's all puffed up about being a big boy (with a big boy bed!) so he doesn't want to do "baby" things anymore? I don't know the reason, but I thought I'd share the info in case your little one has a lot of night time accidents and is still in a crib. Moving him to a toddler bed sure did end bed wetting for my son.
- If you cloth diaper (or even if you don't), I wonder if a fleece or wool pull-up style cover would help with night time accidents? Has anyone tried this theory? If so, please let me know. I'm a PUL kinda gal and I never used either fleece or wool.
IN PUBLIC
- You will probably need to leave your house at some point and you'll have to have a plan to deal with toileting, and possible accidents, while away from home. It's helpful to plan this in advance.
- I liked having the Kalencom Potette Plus 2 in 1 because it is both a travel toilet ring, but also a stand-alone travel potty. It uses plastic bags with an absorbent thing at the bottom so that urine doesn't splash around in the bag. I keep it set up in the back of my car (for emergencies) and he had to use it a few times in the early weeks.
- I began telling him to squeeze his muscles like he was stopping his pee so he could hold it when we were out. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not, but these days he can keep his muscles squeezed long enough that we can always make it to a toilet.
- I have found that I must let him know that each place we visit has a toilet that he can use whenever he has to go potty. Doing this has stopped all accidents when we're in public.
- I keep a fresh change of clothes in both my handbag and in my car. Nothing fancy, just underpants and shorts in case they are needed.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I liked the all-or-nothing approach and it clearly worked well for us. It's true that my primary objective was to get my son out of diapers, but it was very important to me that I not injure his psyche in the pursuit of a diaper-free household. I know it's Freudian and all, but I did not want to cause him long-term damage because I was zealously pursuing my objective. With that in mind, had my son been fearful (fear that I couldn't soothe) or tearful (tears that I couldn't soothe), I would have held off for another few weeks.
Other than my one breakdown (which I detailed in one of the previous potty training posts), I was impossibly upbeat, encouraging, and enthusiastic during the entire process. I never once raised my voice or was critical in the least. This is a very foreign concept to a child and they may stubbornly cling to their diaper. Losing their diaper might feel like a loss of security to a young child. The longer they've had the diaper, I suspect the longer they want to keep it - up to a certain age anyway.
Lora Jensen gives a specific age that she says is idea for PTing - 22 months. I don't know about that, but I do think that young toddlers are certainly more pliable than an older child. Possibly even more eager to please their parents too. My son needed a fourth day at home and he was a little older (just shy of 24 months) than the age she specifies, so maybe she is right after all. I'll also add that I needed the fourth day to boost my confidence in his ability to hold his potty until he was on a toilet.
My personal parenting philosophy is that I don't turn everyday events into battlegrounds. This means that I don't fight with my son to eat meals, go to bed, use the toilet, and stuff like that. I don't think that my way is the only way, but it worked wonderfully for us and I hope that this post has been helpful to potty training (or wanting to potty train) parents in my readership.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
One Month Down!
My son is two-years old and it has been exactly four weeks since he has worn a diaper. Though he still has overnight accidents every now and then, he nearly never has accidents during the day. He has a little trouble pulling down his pants, but I think I can say that he is potty trained.
He will tell us when he has to go potty whether we're at home or out & about. He knows to squeeze his muscles if he has to go potty and we aren't near a toilet. Yucky-looking public toilets don't bother him - it must be nice to be a guy! - and he will go potty on any toilet that he's seen so far. I never found a satisfactory travel toilet ring, so I just hold him up by supporting him under the arms while he sits on the toilet to do his business.
He loves wearing his big boy underpants and his Elmo drawers are his favorite. He absolutely beams after he makes his business on the toilet and he immediately runs to the sink to wash his hands afterward. My husband and I are so proud of his progress and I think he's proud of himself too.
It may not be every parent's cup of tea, but I swear by much of Lora Jensen's 3-day potty training method. I liked that it was a clean (so to speak) break away from diapers and the transition to underpants was immediate. I do have some issues with the method though. My biggest problem is that she says to make negative comments about stool in the diaper or in the underpants. I feel that doing so sends the wrong message to the child. It's not "wrong" to soil yourself if you don't know any better. . .and a new toilet learner just doesn't know any better. So I skipped that entire part and focused on the rest of the method.
Was it difficult? Not particularly. Was it exhausting? Oh my, yes it was! It was also a positive experience for my son and I think he has been built up by his success on the toilet. Overall, I think it has been worth the effort.
He will tell us when he has to go potty whether we're at home or out & about. He knows to squeeze his muscles if he has to go potty and we aren't near a toilet. Yucky-looking public toilets don't bother him - it must be nice to be a guy! - and he will go potty on any toilet that he's seen so far. I never found a satisfactory travel toilet ring, so I just hold him up by supporting him under the arms while he sits on the toilet to do his business.
He loves wearing his big boy underpants and his Elmo drawers are his favorite. He absolutely beams after he makes his business on the toilet and he immediately runs to the sink to wash his hands afterward. My husband and I are so proud of his progress and I think he's proud of himself too.
It may not be every parent's cup of tea, but I swear by much of Lora Jensen's 3-day potty training method. I liked that it was a clean (so to speak) break away from diapers and the transition to underpants was immediate. I do have some issues with the method though. My biggest problem is that she says to make negative comments about stool in the diaper or in the underpants. I feel that doing so sends the wrong message to the child. It's not "wrong" to soil yourself if you don't know any better. . .and a new toilet learner just doesn't know any better. So I skipped that entire part and focused on the rest of the method.
Was it difficult? Not particularly. Was it exhausting? Oh my, yes it was! It was also a positive experience for my son and I think he has been built up by his success on the toilet. Overall, I think it has been worth the effort.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Day 4 of the 3-Day Potty Training
I stayed home one more day and spent a fourth day on the 3-day potty training. I didn't want to - indeed, I'm dying to get out of this house, - but the kiddo woke up with a runny nose.
He rose fairly early this morning and was a little damp when I took him out of the crib. I figure that it's not that big of a deal. I mean, I wet the bed until I was kinda old (by my standards anyway) and he's not yet two years old. He immediately sat on his potty chair and made a lot of pee, so I think he stopped himself from voiding once he realized he was in his bed.
We played quietly and snuggled on my bed for about two hours after he woke up. He did not wet my bed. We finally moved to the front room and, within minutes, he peed on the floor. ARGH! I thought we were in for a repeat of yesterday morning. I'm relieved (heh!) that I was wrong.
He was still in diapers on Monday. He began wearing underpants around mid-morning on Tuesday. He always wears underpants now - even at naptime and bedtime. And he only had three total accidents today!
Four days ago he was still wearing diapers and he only had three accidents today! I am very impressed with this progress. I am totally exhausted, but impressed nonetheless.
We have a very busy weekend: funeral, family plans, church, family plans. I am undecided about how I should handle toileting away from home. I didn't realize that travel toilet rings exist so I don't have one. I have the toddler urinal, a potty chair, and a regular toilet ring. I'm considering bringing his own potty chair to the family gatherings and bringing the regular toilet ring to the funeral and church.
I'm sure that he will have accidents at least a couple of times while we're out, but I have resolved not to send him a mixed message by putting him back in a diaper. You have no idea how tough this is going to be for me. I don't relish the thought of dealing with potty messes, but accidents are valuable learning experiences and I want him to continue learning.
In order to deal with messy situations, I'll be packing his bag (guess I can't call it a diaper bag anymore!) with several pair of underpants, pants/shorts, and socks. I'll also bring several waterproof pads and my two travel-sized wetbags to hold soiled items. I've noted that he doesn't go potty when he's being held, so I've decided to pack my ring sling and my pouch to keep him close. I chose those two carriers instead of any others because they seem like they'd be the easiest to clean if he happens to have an accident.
Wish us luck! And, to all Mamas who are reading this post, Happy Mother's Day!!
***
One nice thing about the last four days is that I have finally started to use my ring sling. I could not stand it when I first received it because I felt the rings were soooo heavy and I couldn't get the positioning correct. No more. I've worn my son for hours in the ring sling over the last four days and, though I still have trouble adjusting the rails when the kiddo is in it (does anyone reading this have a special technique they can share?), I am very comfortable using it now. Wearing him often has made this stressful potty learning time so much more enjoyable!
He rose fairly early this morning and was a little damp when I took him out of the crib. I figure that it's not that big of a deal. I mean, I wet the bed until I was kinda old (by my standards anyway) and he's not yet two years old. He immediately sat on his potty chair and made a lot of pee, so I think he stopped himself from voiding once he realized he was in his bed.
We played quietly and snuggled on my bed for about two hours after he woke up. He did not wet my bed. We finally moved to the front room and, within minutes, he peed on the floor. ARGH! I thought we were in for a repeat of yesterday morning. I'm relieved (heh!) that I was wrong.
He was still in diapers on Monday. He began wearing underpants around mid-morning on Tuesday. He always wears underpants now - even at naptime and bedtime. And he only had three total accidents today!
Four days ago he was still wearing diapers and he only had three accidents today! I am very impressed with this progress. I am totally exhausted, but impressed nonetheless.
We have a very busy weekend: funeral, family plans, church, family plans. I am undecided about how I should handle toileting away from home. I didn't realize that travel toilet rings exist so I don't have one. I have the toddler urinal, a potty chair, and a regular toilet ring. I'm considering bringing his own potty chair to the family gatherings and bringing the regular toilet ring to the funeral and church.
I'm sure that he will have accidents at least a couple of times while we're out, but I have resolved not to send him a mixed message by putting him back in a diaper. You have no idea how tough this is going to be for me. I don't relish the thought of dealing with potty messes, but accidents are valuable learning experiences and I want him to continue learning.
In order to deal with messy situations, I'll be packing his bag (guess I can't call it a diaper bag anymore!) with several pair of underpants, pants/shorts, and socks. I'll also bring several waterproof pads and my two travel-sized wetbags to hold soiled items. I've noted that he doesn't go potty when he's being held, so I've decided to pack my ring sling and my pouch to keep him close. I chose those two carriers instead of any others because they seem like they'd be the easiest to clean if he happens to have an accident.
Wish us luck! And, to all Mamas who are reading this post, Happy Mother's Day!!
***
One nice thing about the last four days is that I have finally started to use my ring sling. I could not stand it when I first received it because I felt the rings were soooo heavy and I couldn't get the positioning correct. No more. I've worn my son for hours in the ring sling over the last four days and, though I still have trouble adjusting the rails when the kiddo is in it (does anyone reading this have a special technique they can share?), I am very comfortable using it now. Wearing him often has made this stressful potty learning time so much more enjoyable!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Day 2 of 3-Day Potty Training
I'm happy to report that I'm two-thirds of the way finished with the 3-Day Potty Training. Heh, that kind of sounds like I'm an inmate, counting down the time until I get paroled! I am exhausted from shadowing an impossibly active toddler all day. It probably doesn't sound all that tough, but it sure is when you are completely focused on whether or not there is anything leaking from your toddler's crotch. I'm tired of repeating myself all day and I am particularly sick of the following four sentences: Do you have to go potty? + You need to let Mama know when you need to go potty. + Run, run to the potty so you can go pee. + Are you sure you don't have to go poo-poo?
I don't think it's going to be completely finished (which, to me, means always using the potty) by tomorrow evening, but I'm sticking with the plan because I'm seeing solid progress. However, depending on tomorrow's progress, I may completely change my mind.
The day didn't begin very well and, in some ways, this morning was worse than the entire day yesterday. I heard him say, "Mama," this morning and hustled to his room so I could put him on the potty. By the time I reached him, around five seconds later, he had already peed so much that his sheet, blanket, and waterproof mattress cover (thank goodness such things exist!) were SOAKED! I don't mean they were simply wet, I mean that I could have wrung the pee out - they were that drenched. And he didn't pee at all on the potty. I gave him a hug and told him bed-wetting sometimes happens.
Not ten minutes later, he walked out of my reach and began to pee on the floor. I grabbed him and ran to the bathroom, pulled down his underpants, and sat him on the potty chair. He wouldn't go. I cleaned up the mess and helped him put on a new pair of underpants. I gave him a cuddle while telling him that we all have accidents sometimes.
As we were eating breakfast together, I kept asking him if he had to go potty because I was sure he was holding a little more pee in that bladder of his. He kept eating his egg and shaking his head that he did not have to go potty. I was suspicious, but I decided to let him decide when he has to go rather than arbitrarily putting him on the toilet. We finished breakfast so I let him down and he ran off. He ran off and peed on the floor. Once again, I ran him to the bathroom, pulled down his underpants, and sat him on the potty chair.
He. Would. Not. Go. GAH!
Right about now I was feeling a bit discouraged. I wanted to scream and cry and put my head through a wall. Rather than do any of that, I chose to say a quick prayer while he sat on the potty. My son, bless his little heart, clasped his hands together as though he was joining me in prayer. I didn't ask for my baby to just grow up already. I didn't ask for him to at least squeeze out one little pee-tear. I just asked for patience and understanding. My frustration was not showing him love or giving him encouragement. So I took a step back and figured that it would be a really messy day.
You know what? Once I got my head straight, the rest of the day was fairly pleasant. Yeah, it was somewhat messy. Yeah, he went through a lot of underpants today. But we had a really fun day together. We made up a foot-stampin' & hand clappin' dance to the 1 through 10 song. We colored some more on his Elmo stickers & puzzle. We played Peek-a-Boo with this silly little plastic horse. We two-stepped around the living room. We cuddled and talked about learning new things and growing up. We put stickers on ourselves and took stickers off ourselves. I put him in the ring sling and held him close while I prepared dinner.
My son only peed on the floor a few times today and he peed in the potty chair around ten times. He caught himself having an accident and ran to the bathroom on his own at least four times. I feel so encouraged and am tentatively looking forward to seeing what tomorrow holds.
****
I'm concerned that he still has not gone poo-poo. This kid is normally so regular that I could set my watch by his bowels, but it has been two days with no activity. I've been giving him juice, fruit, and vegetables in effort to move things along. He tooted as I was putting him to bed tonight and I asked if he had to go poo-poo and he said he did. I put him on the potty and he pushed out some more toots, but nothing else. I'm very tempted to put him in a diaper just so he'll poop. . .I'll give it another day and see what happens.
I don't think it's going to be completely finished (which, to me, means always using the potty) by tomorrow evening, but I'm sticking with the plan because I'm seeing solid progress. However, depending on tomorrow's progress, I may completely change my mind.
The day didn't begin very well and, in some ways, this morning was worse than the entire day yesterday. I heard him say, "Mama," this morning and hustled to his room so I could put him on the potty. By the time I reached him, around five seconds later, he had already peed so much that his sheet, blanket, and waterproof mattress cover (thank goodness such things exist!) were SOAKED! I don't mean they were simply wet, I mean that I could have wrung the pee out - they were that drenched. And he didn't pee at all on the potty. I gave him a hug and told him bed-wetting sometimes happens.
Not ten minutes later, he walked out of my reach and began to pee on the floor. I grabbed him and ran to the bathroom, pulled down his underpants, and sat him on the potty chair. He wouldn't go. I cleaned up the mess and helped him put on a new pair of underpants. I gave him a cuddle while telling him that we all have accidents sometimes.
As we were eating breakfast together, I kept asking him if he had to go potty because I was sure he was holding a little more pee in that bladder of his. He kept eating his egg and shaking his head that he did not have to go potty. I was suspicious, but I decided to let him decide when he has to go rather than arbitrarily putting him on the toilet. We finished breakfast so I let him down and he ran off. He ran off and peed on the floor. Once again, I ran him to the bathroom, pulled down his underpants, and sat him on the potty chair.
He. Would. Not. Go. GAH!
Right about now I was feeling a bit discouraged. I wanted to scream and cry and put my head through a wall. Rather than do any of that, I chose to say a quick prayer while he sat on the potty. My son, bless his little heart, clasped his hands together as though he was joining me in prayer. I didn't ask for my baby to just grow up already. I didn't ask for him to at least squeeze out one little pee-tear. I just asked for patience and understanding. My frustration was not showing him love or giving him encouragement. So I took a step back and figured that it would be a really messy day.
You know what? Once I got my head straight, the rest of the day was fairly pleasant. Yeah, it was somewhat messy. Yeah, he went through a lot of underpants today. But we had a really fun day together. We made up a foot-stampin' & hand clappin' dance to the 1 through 10 song. We colored some more on his Elmo stickers & puzzle. We played Peek-a-Boo with this silly little plastic horse. We two-stepped around the living room. We cuddled and talked about learning new things and growing up. We put stickers on ourselves and took stickers off ourselves. I put him in the ring sling and held him close while I prepared dinner.
My son only peed on the floor a few times today and he peed in the potty chair around ten times. He caught himself having an accident and ran to the bathroom on his own at least four times. I feel so encouraged and am tentatively looking forward to seeing what tomorrow holds.
****
I'm concerned that he still has not gone poo-poo. This kid is normally so regular that I could set my watch by his bowels, but it has been two days with no activity. I've been giving him juice, fruit, and vegetables in effort to move things along. He tooted as I was putting him to bed tonight and I asked if he had to go poo-poo and he said he did. I put him on the potty and he pushed out some more toots, but nothing else. I'm very tempted to put him in a diaper just so he'll poop. . .I'll give it another day and see what happens.
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