I was going to write a post about a d-bag who I'll never have to see again, but a friend's Facebook status totally hijacked my thought process. I give you this instead: The Panty Post.
My friend was curious about panty preferences. Specifically thong or booty shorts. As you would expect, I weighed in with my opinion. I always thought I was pretty mainstream in the underpants department, but I guess not.
I hate booty shorts. Hate, hate, hate them. My friend, being a smart mouth, said that they figured I'd love booty shorts. Yeah, yeah, I have a big ass. My friend has known me since high school and can attest that I have always had a big butt. An unfair fact is that I sported an uncommonly small waist, no boobs, and a ginormous ass. Funny side story, I had another friend from high school who used to swear that I was the inspiration for Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back.
I think my large posterior is the reason why I don't like booty shorts. See, all that extra material on my buttcheeks inevitably travels when I walk or sit. This results in a huge wad of fabric up my crack. My butt is big, but my buttcrack is normal sized (I think???) so all that material is really uncomfortable and I end up picking my seat all the time if I wear this type of underpants.
I prefer thongs, bikinis, the occasional pair of granny panties, and going commando. None of these seem all that out of the norm, but my granny panty admission stimulated quite a bit of conversation. I thought that every chick wears granny panties at some point, but I guess I'm the Lone Ranger. Except, perhaps, for actual Grannies. I mean, I don't wear them every day or anything, but I don't see anything wrong with wearing them at certain times. You know, like at that time of the month.
I actually figured that my commando admission would have been more scandalous. My mother was definitely scandalized by it when we were talking about panties several years ago. I told her that it wasn't bad because I never go bare when wearing pants. Her jaw dropped and she said it was way worse to go out sans panties when wearing a dress or skirt. I guess I hadn't thought of it in an easy-access sort of way. It's not like I do it all the time or anything, but I kinda think the airflow downstairs is refreshing. To each her own, right?
Thongs & bikinis are so mainstream that they really don't need any explanation. I will say one thing, though. I think that fat chick thongs suck. And I say this as a fat chick. Seriously, it becomes a looong thong. Think of the sex scene in the movie Shallow Hal and you'll know exactly what I mean.
I don't imagine that anyone will give their opinions on underpants, but I thought I'd toss out this post anyway. Let's face it, ladies, our men don't generally give a crap about what panties we're wearing. . .they just want what's underneath. Feel sexy and act sexy and you'll be sexy - no matter what you're wearing. ;-)