Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Panty Post

I was going to write a post about a d-bag who I'll never have to see again, but a friend's Facebook status totally hijacked my thought process.  I give you this instead:  The Panty Post.

My friend was curious about panty preferences.  Specifically thong or booty shorts.  As you would expect, I weighed in with my opinion.  I always thought I was pretty mainstream in the underpants department, but I guess not.

I hate booty shorts.  Hate, hate, hate them.  My friend, being a smart mouth, said that they figured I'd love booty shorts.  Yeah, yeah, I have a big ass.  My friend has known me since high school and can attest that I have always had a big butt.  An unfair fact is that I sported an uncommonly small waist, no boobs, and a ginormous ass.  Funny side story, I had another friend from high school who used to swear that I was the inspiration for Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back. 

I think my large posterior is the reason why I don't like booty shorts.  See, all that extra material on my buttcheeks inevitably travels when I walk or sit.  This results in a huge wad of fabric up my crack.  My butt is big, but my buttcrack is normal sized (I think???) so all that material is really uncomfortable and I end up picking my seat all the time if I wear this type of underpants.

I prefer thongs, bikinis, the occasional pair of granny panties, and going commando.  None of these seem all that out of the norm, but my granny panty admission stimulated quite a bit of conversation.  I thought that every chick wears granny panties at some point, but I guess I'm the Lone Ranger.  Except, perhaps, for actual Grannies.  I mean, I don't wear them every day or anything, but I don't see anything wrong with wearing them at certain times.  You know, like at that time of the month.

I actually figured that my commando admission would have been more scandalous.  My mother was definitely scandalized by it when we were talking about panties several years ago.  I told her that it wasn't bad because I never go bare when wearing pants.  Her jaw dropped and she said it was way worse to go out sans panties when wearing a dress or skirt.  I guess I hadn't thought of it in an easy-access sort of way.  It's not like I do it all the time or anything, but I kinda think the airflow downstairs is refreshing.  To each her own, right?

Thongs & bikinis are so mainstream that they really don't need any explanation.  I will say one thing, though.  I think that fat chick thongs suck.  And I say this as a fat chick.  Seriously, it becomes a looong thong.  Think of the sex scene in the movie Shallow Hal and you'll know exactly what I mean.

I don't imagine that anyone will give their opinions on underpants, but I thought I'd toss out this post anyway.  Let's face it, ladies, our men don't generally give a crap about what panties we're wearing. . .they just want what's underneath.  Feel sexy and act sexy and you'll be sexy - no matter what you're wearing.  ;-)


  1. okay... I'll admit, I wear grannies every night to bed and bikinis in the day. Thongs are only for tight or light colored pants. Never gone without.

  2. hehehe...I knew you would post about this. I was one of those peeps in that conversation and have to say that I loved the laugh. hehe

  3. Thanks for the input, Anonymous & Stacey. Who knew that panties would be so controversial?! haha

  4. I go without more than I go WITH. And, your mother is right, unless your viewing for a lift-the-skirt public pounding, you don't go commando in a dress.

  5. Heh! I know who you are and I know that your typo turned you on. . .LOL!