Sex Isn't Very Important. . .

if you don't have a good sex life. 

Come on, you didn't really think I'd say sex wasn't important without tacking on that last part, did you?!

I've been told that sex isn't very important by several people over the years.  I initially bought the line because I'm a romantic at heart, but I've come to form the opposite opinion.  I think it is very important because, well, I like sex and I don't care if that makes me sound whorish or not.

I mean, I like sex so much that I can't understand why someone just doesn't care about it.  I can not wrap my head around such a thought.  It feels great and it makes you feel connected (literally and figuratively) to another person!  Why wouldn't you like it? 

I've only heard the "sex isn't all that important" line from women and I wonder why.  Is it that sex is such a charged issue to women that they can't just go for it even if that means denying an immense amount of pleasure?  Is it that so many women were sexually abused or mistreated in some fashion so they have a hard time accepting sexual desire because it caused such hurt?  Is it that somewhere inside we think that fish really don't need bicycles?  Or is it an entirely different reason?

I'm not exactly a shrinking virgin and I lost my cherry at a shockingly young age, though it wasn't so shocking to me at the time.  I have sometimes wondered why I let someone pluck my sweet peach when it was barely ripening.  I don't really have an answer other than it seemed to be the thing to do back in those days.  I guess I didn't buy the "nice girls don't put out" line, eh?  And I've always thought that a fish would really appreciate a good bicycle!

So I have a rather lengthy sexual history, relative to my age, and I know myself pretty well in the bedroom.  If I'm in a relationship and we go any length of time without sex, I start to pick apart and question the entire relationship.  It doesn't take long before I'm wondering if there's an unspoken reason for the lack of lovemaking; some resentment, infidelity, or just plain ol' boredom.  If I go any long length of time without an orgasm (whether anyone else is involved or not), I start feeling dissatisfied with my entire life and I become somewhat confrontational without that release.  Orgasms are a joyous thing and I miss them terribly when they are gone.  I'm aware that I probably sound like a guy right about now, but I can assure you that I'm all-woman.

Perhaps you're thinking that I must have been sexualized at a young age or that I suffer some deep-seated psychological damage.  Perhaps you'd be right or perhaps not.  I have noted that women who were sexually abused tend to go only one of two ways:  they either need sex to feel any value & self-worth or they detest sex & hate penis. 

I need sex to feel connected with my husband, not to feel my own value.  There's no way I can describe how it feels to have all of your love inside. . .and I mean that in the most literal way possible.  It's a thing of beauty and a gift.

Look, I'm not saying sex is the most important thing in a relationship because it's not - not by a long shot.  Fidelity, forgiveness, honesty, friendship, kindness, respect and stuff like that are more important than sex, but sex is still pretty damn important in my book.  Speak anonymously if you'd like, but what do you say on the matter?


Hm, looks like I've uncovered yet another reason why my husband nabbed me and took me for his own as soon as I was back on the market.