My Thoughts On Wine

Like any alcoholic (kidding-ish), I have strong opinions on my liquor.  Here are my 7 Points on Wine:

1.  Wine drinkers are often pretentious douches.  That's not to say that they aren't fun, but they usually are pretty full of themselves. . .and guy wine aficionados are the worst!  Seriously, guys, stick to hard liquor like whiskey or gin because you often sound like asses when you pontificate about wine to the ladies.  If you're going to drink wine, just enjoy it and don't try to show off.
2.  Wine coolers ARE NOT WINE!!!!!  End of story!
3.  White Zinfandel is what high school girls drink.  Seriously, it's exactly like boozy punch and it's friggin' awful!  And, I should add, the hangovers are dreadful on this sweet dreck.
4.  Chardonnay is a nice wine-y transition to adulthood.  I actually liked Chardonnay for almost ten years, but now I'm put off by it and I find that most Chardonnays rely too heavily on oak-y tastes to make a positive impact.  Indeed, oak-y tastes turn me off completely these days.  I feel that the oak taste tries to mask that it's an inferior wine.  Yes, my hubs hails from OK and he's an okey, but I don't mind his kind of taste!  haha
5.  Pinot Grigio/Pinot Gris is a nice and light white wine that often has fruity undertones without being too terribly sweet.  It's fun for a lazy afternoon with friends or with dinner.  I liked this varietal for quite a long time too.
6.  Sauvignon Blanc is frequently a grassy or minerally wine and it has a crisp finish.  This is my current favorite for a wine to relax with and enjoy.  I would not have liked it even five years ago, but I tremendously enjoy it now!
7.  Reds aren't for children!  Honestly, reds are great and there was a time that I was all about the Cab and the occasional glass of Merlot or Pinot Noir, but understand that you can easily end up feeling way more tipsy on reds than whites.  At least, that's my personal experience.  I'm totally gauche, so I usually put an ice cube or two in my wine, but I still found myself struggling to find a way to straddle the red wine line without falling over to the drunky side.

Do you like wine?  Have your varietal preferences changed over the years?  What are your current favorites?  Cheers!