Saturday, January 30, 2010

Having a Child Was a Great Choice

We just returned home from our 3-year old nephew's birthday party. My son just went to bed - three hours past his bedtime. He had a blast the entire time we were there. His cousin and his cousin's BFF are quite a bit older and my boy enjoyed running around like one of the big kids.

Seeing those three children playing together really warmed my heart. I sometimes can't believe just how much joy children add to life. Sure, they are ungrateful, demanding, and expensive. But they are also so sweet and loving. Just when you wonder why you ever thought it was a good idea to start a family, your little one will run up, throw their grubby paws around you, and give you a kiss. I cherish those moments and always wish that they happen more frequently.

Once upon a time, I didn't want any kids. I was in a terribly unhappy marriage and it was very dark, loveless. I wanted out of my life and certainly didn't want to bring another life into my personal nightmare. I'm glad I didn't have children with my ex-husband. Not having a child at that time was a great choice.

My husband was 50-years old when we decided that we wanted to start a family. Yes, I am aware just how old we will both be when our son graduates high school. I'm not particularly worried though because I'm sure that the stadium will be wheelchair accessible. My husband didn't have any children, I didn't have any children, but we both wanted children with each other.

When I was pregnant, I would fret that this little newcomer would somehow drive a wedge between us. I worried that I couldn't possibly have enough love in my heart for both my husband and my baby. I was convinced that I would short-change one or both of them. My fears were so unnecessary. Now I believe that the heart has an endless capacity for love.

I'm so thankful for my husband and my son. I could never deserve such joy and happiness and yet I've been so blessed with this family that I love. I know that having a child was a great choice.

I like to think that I hold the hearts of my husband and my son, but they really hold mine.

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