Monday, April 5, 2010

Is It Rock-Bottom Yet?

Apparently not.

How do you save someone who doesn't even recognize that they need salvation? I'm not talking about religion here, I literally mean that their life is in danger because of their actions. Yet they still can't admit that they have a problem. Even worse, they blame their family for the situation that they have found themselves in. A situation that they have entirely brought upon themselves.

I realize that rock-bottom is different for everyone, but I would think that most people would have stopped fighting by now. Actually, just fighting the current circumstances would be preferable. This individual is making their situation far, far worse than it has to be. And it doesn't appear that they're going to straighten up anytime soon.

At this point, this individual seems content to terrorize their own family. Making serious threats and accusations. Directing the most evil vitriol toward the family who they had always loved and cherished. The family who still, even with all the pain and havoc that addiction has wrought, the family who still loves and cares about this individual.

Dammit all so much! It's like we don't even know who this person is anymore! Who has this person become? No one who I would ever recognize in a million years.

I've had an incredibly difficult day. The last several weeks, months actually, have been emotionally draining. Yesterday was pretty damn bad, but I think today takes the taco.

I am angry, appalled, bewildered, frightened, frustrated, scared, stunned, and upset by this most recent turn of events. I think I'm mostly angry and frightened. Maybe stunned too.

I have so many emotions warring inside myself that I can hardly get my thoughts together. Goodness knows that I'm having trouble writing my thoughts. I'm sure I'll read this post at another time and think it's a jumbled mess of words. Typing through tears has never been my forte.

My heart is just breaking for this person and their family. I'm afraid that I don't see a happy outcome. Even the best case scenario in my mind can't really be called a happy outcome because an entire family has been so completely wounded.

I've witnessed an absolute tragedy. It took several years to unfold, but it is tragic nonetheless. And I hate that I didn't do something, couldn't do anything, to stop it from happening. It's a true nightmare.

One person's addiction. It's hurting so many people. More than anything, it's so damn sad.


  1. Heather - I'm so sorry you are going through this. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

  2. Thank you Shannon. I appreciate your support.