Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Pregnancy Brings Out the Stupid

Pregnancy really did a number on my self-esteem. I gained 27 pounds, my feet were so swollen that I could only fit in "fat shoes," and I hated maternity clothes so I desperately tried to avoid them. I spent months feeling fat, clumsy, and unattractive. I did go from maybe an A-cup to a little more than a D, but I discovered that big boobs are one of those things that I think are better in theory than in reality.

Seeing a pregnant women seems to bring out the stupid in a lot of people and I heard a lot of lousy things while I was pregnant with my son. For some reason, other mothers feel compelled to scare you with their labor & delivery horror stories. I was told that I was being a silly martyr for wanting a drug-free vaginal birth and "no one" does that anymore because the epidural is so wonderful. Well, I had a spinal with my c-section and I think it totally freaking sucks to be paralyzed from the waist down. Unless I require another c-section, I will never again submit to another regional nerve block.

Nothing freaks out a pregnant woman quite as much as the idea that her baby will die. While I was in my sixth month, a woman felt the need to tell me that she had delivered a stillborn child at 6-months gestation. Thanks for sharing, that really made my day and I didn't worry about suffering the same. Nooo, I didn't worry one little bit.

At work one afternoon, I was asked when I was due and I replied that I had eight weeks to go. B*tch of the Century (bet you didn't know there was a title!) responded with a surprised, "Are you sure? You look like you're due right now." Thank you for that, it was just the boost I needed as the pregnancy began winding down and the aches & pains increased. She wasn't exactly a waif, if you know what I mean, and I kinda hope that people badger her all the time with questions about her "pregnancy."

I can't be the only one who looks for something positive or encouraging to say to people. No one wants to hear anything that can be remotely negative about themselves and pregnant women in particular are sensitive about such things. Pregnancy is a tough time and, like I said, it can be rough on someone's self-esteem.

Pregnant women have the most lovely nails, glossy hair, and, though I didn't see it in myself at all, I do see the special glow that pregnant women get as the pregnancy progresses. They may be tired, exhausted really, but they do emanate a special kind of expectant joy. They also tend to have great boobs, but I don't really recommend that you mention it!

Pregnant women don't often receive sincere compliments and, all too often, they get the opposite. You lose nothing by sharing kind and loving words and it will really brighten another person's day. Whose day will you brighten today?


  1. Just to let you know...I had three, count that..1, 2, 3 natural no drug no epidural vaginal births. Would NEVER take a spinal or epidural unless absolutely necessary. I was blessed with 5 hours of labor/delivery stuff with all 3. I guess I was one of the lucky ones.

    I agree that many people do say the wrong things. Like we dont know the risks and if it is not your first kid, you know the pain factor. Agreed that I did not see the "glow" that I was supposed to have. Maybe in the first 3 months if you dont have morning sickness because you are still excited about being a mom and dont need fat people clothes yet. My hair was never great, my nails never long and strong.

    Hated it when people felt like they had the right to rub my belly when I was pregnant. It is my damn belly, leave it alone unless I say you can touch it.

    Just my thoughts. =)

  2. Oooh! I can't believe that I forgot about the "belly touchers!" Seriously, since when is it acceptable to invade personal space and grope someone?

    And if I ever get pregnant again, I want your advice on coping with labor & delivery! :)

  3. No problem Heather. I just took a small shot of numorphine about 3 hours before my kids were born. It did not make the pain go away by any means but it did relax me a bit so it was easier to deal with. =)