Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm Kinda Close to My Son

My son will turn two in one month. The longest amount of time that I have been apart from my son at any time is four hours. In two years, I have had four hours of time to myself around five times, maybe six. I guess you can say that my son and I are kinda attached to each other.

It's logical to assume that this prolonged closeness means that my son is a spazz when he's apart from me. Quite the opposite. When my husband or I drop him off in the church nursery on Sunday mornings, he shrugs off our kisses goodbye and starts playing. When I leave a room, he doesn't freak out. He's happy to explore his environment, even in new surroundings.

He does get bashful, coy, and even fearful from time to time, but his general mood is confident and sweet. I don't know why he has such a great personality. Is it because my husband has personality plus? Is it because I'm no slouch in the personality department? Is it because I nursed him so long? Is it because I wore him so often? Is it because he's always had me whenever he's needed me? Or is it just how his personality was from the start?

I'm not terribly comfortable leaving my son with strangers. Frankly, I don't like leaving my son with very many people. The thought of leaving him for a few hours makes my heart thump wildly.

I'm so thankful that I have the privilege to stay home with my son. As much as I loved work, and I loved it very much, I don't want to return at this point. The last thing I want to do is leave my son with a babysitter in a daycare while I work for wages outside my home.

All that said, if our fortunes turned and we needed my earning power, I'd return to work. It would be with a heavy heart, but I'd do whatever was necessary for the good of my family. I can't imagine how difficult it is for moms who want to stay home with their little ones, but who are financially unable to do so. Motherhood is tough enough when you're doing exactly what you want, so big hugs to you mamas who are working out of necessity.


  1. Just wait till he starts school. Then maybe you can work during the hours that he is there and go back to loving the workforce and also being able to be home when he is out of school.

  2. That's the ideal plan, I hope it works out that way! :)