Dear Coffee, Diet Coke, Ketel One, Query Sauvignon Blanc, Raw Sushi, and any other friends I've missed:
You've been favorite friends and I've appreciated the fun times we've had together. However, my present circumstances dictate that our association must end. It's been nearly five weeks without vodka or wine, three weeks without sushi, and four days without any caffeine. I miss you all terribly, but my love for this teeny-tiny babe already exceeds my affection for you. I'll see you in around 18-months or so.
Love,
Me
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