The last couple of weeks have been quite the emotional and physical roller coaster. I haven't come right out and written what it is that I'm so happy about, but I trust that the readers can accurately guess. Several friends who read this blog contacted me for confirmation a week or so ago so I guess it's pretty obvious. I wrote about joy & fear the day after I found out and I've been trying to reign in both emotions. Well, the fear is here now in full force.
I've been excessively concerned about a certain something that I've been experiencing and my doctor suggested that we should investigate a little further to see what's going on so he ordered a couple of tests for me. I had some lab work done this morning and the results are interesting. I hesitate to say they look great, but they certainly don't look bad at this point. Indeed, the numbers look better now than they have looked for me previously. Unfortunately, these results don't offer a complete picture and I'll return for more labs on Friday or Saturday. I know from painful experience that the worst can still happen even if those second labs come back looking fantastic.
I heard the CSN song "Helplessly Hoping" while I was driving to the medical office this morning and the title sums up how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm praying that my great fear will not come to pass and that my greatest hope will. All I can do is hope and pray for the desired outcome sometime around the end of this year.