Thursday, May 5, 2011

Where Did It Go? - Part II

This is gross and graphic so skip it if you're squeamish.

It's not that I particularly like or want to see blood when I wipe myself after using the restroom, but I've somewhat grown used to it because I've had spotting every single day since April 17th - the day after I began using the progesterone suppositories.  I suspect that the suppositories are irritating the heck out of my cervix, but acknowledge that I have no definitive proof that is the source of this seemingly nonstop bloody mess.  I had two clots this last weekend (both were small and kinda mucousy) and I've had intermittent episodes of thin & watery blood just dripping out of me when I pee in the toilet.  These developments are why my doctor is having me do some lab work to check out a specific hormone level and try to gauge what's going on up inside.

So I find it interesting that I had just the slightest amount of pink staining on the toilet tissue this morning and that's been it for the entire day.  I fear that my body is storing it up only to unleash it when I least expect it and, for some reason, I assume it will be while I'm wearing white pants.  I can't help but wonder if writing this post isn't going to curse me to a miserably bloody day tomorrow.  Please, no!

I began thinking about what has changed to try and determine why I didn't really experience any bleeding today.  My family has been staying with my in-laws since Monday so that's different.  My insomnia is back since I have a difficult time sleeping in a bed other than my own.  It's been hotter than ten shades of Hell here and I've been pounding the water all day and all night.  I've been unable to lie down after using my morning suppository since I can't let my son run loose in his grandparent's house. 

That last one got me to thinking. . .even though I learned early on to take great care to not insert these darn things too high, maybe the suppository's puddle of melty mess can find it's way up there and it's enough to still irritate my cervix enough to cause bleeding?  Perhaps gravity is helping me out when I simply recline with it in place instead of lying down flat?  It's entirely possible that I will never know for certain why the bleeding has been happening or why it suddenly stopped today.  Whatever the reason, I'm hoping and praying that it won't return!

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