Monday, January 3, 2011

My Beef with Pork

Apparently I'm something of a freak because it seems like almost everyone I know loves ham.  It's not that I hate ham, I just would rather not eat anything than eat ham.    I realize that sounds like I hate it because I'd rather starve than eat it, but I really don't feel all that strongly about it. 

Oddly enough, I'm okay with ham and most pork products while I'm pregnant.  You should have seen the shock on my husband's face the first time I asked for a little bacon when I was pregnant with our son. . .ha!  I'd only eaten bacon maybe ten times in my entire life up to that point so it was surprising to me too.  This time around, I'm put off by foods that I normally like very much (like turkey) and I'm gobbling up foods that I normally would never even think of eating or drinking (like orange juice and, well, pork).

I've been asked why I normally don't like ham and I thought I'd explore that a little bit tonight.

1.  Ham is a pink meat.  Humans look a little "pink" on the inside.  In my mind, this means that ham tastes like a human would taste.  Not logical, I know, but I'm not a Vulcan (I am a massive nerd though, right?) and I don't always deal with life logically.
2.  I like salty snacks best, but I don't like really salty food and ham almost always tastes too salty.  Sweat is salty and ham is salty and that returns me back to my sentiments on point 1 above.  :::shudder:::
3.  I don't like sweet food all that much and, if ham isn't too salty, it's too sweet and covered in sticky and disgusting honey.  I know, I know; too sweet, too salty.  Who do I think I am, Goldilocks?
4.  I'm not fond of pork in general and, well, ham is pork.  Why don't I like pork?  Because it's usually cooked to death and I freaking hate dry & tough meat.  This is why I prefer steaks medium-rare and why I don't like most people's non-brined turkeys.  I realize that fear of trichinosis is what drives most people to serve overdone pork, but it is only necessary to cook pork to around 140 degrees.  You don't want to consume undercooked pork, but it absolutely doesn't have to be cooked to 180 degrees either.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a big ol' pot of beans (pintos & great northerns) and ham that is calling my name! 


  1. I have small white beans soaking as we speak to make ham and beans for tomorrow nights dinner. A good, non canned ham is NOT too salty, I get mine from Costco. They are the only ones I care to eat. Honey baked ham stores are too sweet because they put on way too much honey glaze on them.
    And well if ham tastes like humas, then I am sure I will be the last one to die if we crashed in the Andes mountains and there was no civiliAtion for miles. Lol.

    Also, weird things to eagt while prego is normal, ur body craves nutrients that r in the things u crave. I craved ice cubes with my first two. Would eat a 7lb bag everyday from the gas station. Also never ate salads before I was prego and craved them and fettuccini alfredo.

  2. I laughed so loud at the Andes mountains comment that my son jumped! I think I'd be the first one down in that case. . .nothing like having someone eat me, eh? haha

    I must have always been served cheap hams or Honey Baked Ham Store hams. Since I'm cool with ham these days, I'll have to check out Costco the next time I'm there. I made our ham in the crock pot the other night and it was so moist and tender that it was impossible not to like it.

    Funny you mentioned fettucini alfredo. . .I haven't eaten that dish in at least ten years and I actually ordered it the other night. I also never order pasta when dining out so I guess that's another weird thing too.

  3. I could not eat pork, specifically pock chops for years after having been served them by my mother in law, back when Eric and I were first dating. What she did to those things I do not know, they were as tough as shoe leather and had a very strange metallic taste, almost like she cooked then so long they started to take on the taste of the pan. Since it was his mom I HAD to sit there and eat the wretched things *belch* I still shudder at the memory. Pork chops are pretty low on my list of desired food still. Other kinds of pork are all good though, a nice pork loin -yum, ham -yum, bacon -I can take it or leave it.

  4. Hahahaha, the secret word I had to enter for that reply was "melike"

  5. Ooooh! I could write an entire post about dry, tough, tasteless, and overdone pork chops. I've never had them with a metallic taste (probably because I've only had them in a glass casserole dish), but I'm not a fan either. Seriously, covering it with all the mustard in the world (my preferred way of choking down pork) can't hide how horribly wrong some pork ends up.