Thursday, October 28, 2010

Am I a Serial Killer?

It's probably shocking to the readers of this blog, I know, but I've been accused of being uptight more than once in my life.  At one point, I could walk into my bedroom and immediately discern if my hairbrush was out of place by less than 1/4 of an inch on my dresser.  Certain words, topics, and situations left me in a wretched knot.  Bodily functions disgusted me beyond belief.  My sister had nicknamed me "Prudence."  I was a (young) woman who desperately needed to be loosed. 

Though I have improved significantly, I still feel bummed out when certain things aren't just so.  Take, for instance, my pantry.  I insist that all of the cans and the few boxes in my pantry are in order.  I rotate the older stock to the front every single time that I go shopping.  All labels must face front.  I throw away anything that is at it's expiration date.  Heck, I have tossed milk that makes me suspicious even if it hasn't reached it's expiration date.  If these conditions aren't met, I'm terribly upset. 

Unbelievably, I became unreasonably bothered by a spice container that is on the "wrong" shelf.  Indeed, a lemon-pepper shaker actually inspired this post - it was on my coffee & ranch powder shelf.  Take what you will from that admission. 

Okay, I don't kidnap the daughters of Senators or take the skins off my "humps" (a la Jame Gumm or Hanibal Lecter) so I'm not going to be a serial killer, but I do get totally mental if my cupboards are not right.

I don't know when I loosened up, but I really did.  I'm pretty mellow these days.  I somewhat take the stance that the house can manage itself and I don't waste a lot of time screwing around with making sure that everything has it's place.  It takes a lot to surprise me, let alone embarrass me.  I'm almost uncomfortably comfortable with bodily functions at this point in my life. . .as those who read my blog regularly can attest!

But, damn, I get freaking nuts if my cupboards aren't in order!  Yeah.  I'm like the abusive whack-a-doodle husband from the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy."  Just don't get out of line and I won't have to lay a smack-down on you!  Or, more accurately, don't screw with my cabinets. . .

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