Express Your Love

As most of you know, my cat died this week.  My cat was 15 1/2-years old and she was simply delightful.  I found her shortly after I left home.  She was a weak alley-cat kitten who was kicked out of her mother's nest - or whatever they call it.  When I first caught her, her eyes were horribly infected and she could barely see.  A trip to the vet took care of the infection.  She suffered a dog attack when I was at work because I didn't have the sense to make her solely an indoor animal.  That surgery, to reattach her arm to her body, cost more money than my first car!  I was only making $6.00 per hour, so it was a huge sacrifice to keep this sickly little darling.  But I had adopted her and so I cared for her.  In return, she was a faithful friend and companion.  She fit in the palm of my hand and, though she cost me a fortune in vet bills during her first year, I was wildly in love with my first pet.

It's always a bad time to say goodbye, but the timing here seems particularly cruel.  My brother has been gone for just over a month, my husband's grandmother has been gone for less than two weeks, and now my first pet has died.  I can deal with it I guess, but my poor parents have had custody of that little puddin' cat for over ten years.  My first husband was majorly allergic and I left her in the care of my folks.  So in the span of six weeks, my parents have suffered the loss of their only son and their only pet.  Damn it all!  Life can be so hard, so freaking cruel, sometimes.

I had a bad dream last night.  It was very vivid and it was about a loss that would be completely devastating to my family.  Unfortunately, I can totally see it happening.  But I hope and I pray that it does not.  I can't bring myself to write exactly what it was about, but I just want to say that you should tell your loved ones that you love them whenever you get the chance.  You don't know when you might never have the chance to do so again.

I know that it seems like my family has been under constant attack since the year began.  I feel it and I know that it's been happening.  Rather than serve to push me away from God, it has drawn me closer to Him.  I am leaning more heavily on God now than I have in years.  I know that He is the only reason that I can still stand on my feet.  He was here before time began and He will be here for all eternity.  I'm asking Him to carry me through yet another day. . .