Sunday, November 28, 2010

Preparing an Only to Become an Older

This pregnancy has been 19-months in the making.  I would have never expected it to take this long to conceive our second child, but it did.  If all had gone according to my plan, I would have delivered our second child before our son turned two.  As it stands, our son will be 3 1/4-years old when this baby is born.

My son, for the most part, is not excited at the prospect of a new member joining our family.  He specifically says, "No" when asked if he'd like a little brother/sister or if he wants mama to have another baby.   He tentatively likes the idea of having a playmate to live with us.  Of course, it will be 36-weeks before this child shows up and baby won't be able to play for quite some time after arriving.

Months upon months ago, I purchased a few books about becoming a big brother.  I kept them set aside and I think I'll give them to him now that I'm pregnant.  I sure hope that these books are a hit with him and become a part of our regular reading rotation.

I'm very concerned about the impact that a new baby might have on my son.  He is my sweet, darling boy and I'd prefer that becoming an older brother makes him happy rather than sad, angry, or insecure.  As I've often done in the past, I'm asking my readership for advice and suggestions to help my family make this a smooth transition.

Do you have more than one child?  What is the age difference between children?  Have your children experienced a lot of sibling rivalry or jealousy?  How did you prepare your "only" to become an "older?"  Do you have any other advice that you can share?


  1. I think the key is involvement. Let Nicholas feel involved, let him help by bringing you diapers and getting little things. If he feels that he isn't being forgotten then he should be fine. There will always be a bit of jealousy as each child struggles for attention when the other is receiving it, but I think that is just part of the cycle. Even Lynn as my youngest gets jealous when I am playing, holding or talking to my other children. lol I am so excited for you & will pray for a happy, healthy & calm 9 months (((HUGS)))

  2. I have 3 kmids. The first two are 14 months apart so there was no preping. The 3rd one is 4 1/2 years younger than the oldest and almost 3 1/2 years younger than the middle. My oldest and youngest r both girls and they r the ones I hAve problems with. Not so much when my youngest was a baby but now that she is older.

    I agree with ur comment above. Involve him. Diaper changings, bath time maybe, maybe even the sonograms so he can see it is another person. It will be hard to show them all the attention u do with one but u just have to explain. It will be easier if the new baby is a girl cause then he won't feel like he has to share everything.

  3. Thanks for your input and suggestions! He loves reading his new books about being a big brother and he's really been enjoying "his" baby (putting the doll to bed, etc). Sometimes he even tells me that his baby is crying and gives it to me to soothe. So cute!