I Scalped My Son

I graduated from cosmetology school around 15-years ago. Though I received and still maintain my state license, I never worked in the industry. The simple reason is that I don't like doing hair. No, that doesn't adequately convey my feelings. I freaking hate doing hair and I freaking hate standing on my feet all day.

Now that I'm a SAHM and I'm always looking for ways to save a few bucks, I decided that I should start to cut my son's hair. His haircuts cost just under $17. That doesn't sound like much, but it does add up when he gets a haircut every eight-weeks. I bought a clipper set for a little less than $25, took a deep breath, and decided to try to cut his hair myself.

I must mention that it has been nearly 15-years since I've even touched clippers. Even back then I was never good with them and I always preferred scissor cuts. However, my son does not sit still. I didn't want to pull a Van Gogh on him, so I figured that I'll have to give the clippers a chance.

My son wouldn't let me use the clippers in the back of his head, so I started with the front, top, and sides. From there I tapered around his ears. I had my husband hold our son's head and hands while I quickly took care of the back. I even had time to trim up his fuzzy neck before he freaked out. I was feeling pretty proud of my handiwork.

And then it happened. He moved and I didn't. I gouged a hole in his hair. I tried to feather it out, but he was furiously screaming and crying at this point. I trimmed his sideburns and called it a day. Of course, mistakes stand out the most and I cringe a little when I see that low spot. And that long spot. And that spot that needed to be blended a little more.

His hair was a bit shorter than I would have liked, but it looked okay to me last night. I did a double take when I went to get him this morning. My baby looked scalped! His hair is soooo short. It's so short that there is absolutely nothing to do to it. He looks like a little soldier (or Marine, or sailor, or airman) or something.

Don't get me wrong, I think my son is the most adorable thing on two legs. But damn his hair is short!