Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Baby, Don't Grow Too Fast

Life passes altogether too fast. I've spent so much of my life wishing that I was in another stage of growth. No, no, I didn't spend that time, I wasted it. I wasted it because I didn't allow myself to fully appreciate my life in that moment. I wish that I could relax and enjoy, but I just can't. No matter how content I am, I'm always seeking and looking forward.

My desire to move forward has often meant that I've passed up wonderfully valuable opportunities. In my haste to "grow up," I've made poor decisions that yielded negative consequences. In my youthful arrogance, I used to believe that having regrets was a waste of time. As I've matured, I can definitely admit that I have plenty of regrets.

Suddenly it seems like my son wants to grow up so fast and I don't like it. He's not sneaking out of the house or talking back (that I can tell!), but he's clearly trying to move forward. He refuses to allow me to feed him and insists on feeding himself, however messy it may be. And it is very, very messy. He's talking a little (or a lot!) more each day. He's stretching his physical limits and can easily accomplish tasks that he couldn't just a few short weeks ago.

Why is he trying to grow up so quickly? Perhaps it's a genetic condition, passed on from mother to son, or perhaps it's just part of the human condition. I wish that I could tell him that this is the best time in his life and it will never be so easy again. I know that he won't be my sweet little baby forever, but he will always remain my darling son.

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