Friday, September 24, 2010

A Kiss is Still a Kiss

At risk of sounding like the hooker from the movie Pretty Woman, I have a confession to make:  I don't like to kiss on the mouth.

There.  I said it and I'm not ashamed.  But I am perplexed by my feelings on something as simple, sometimes sweet and sometimes sexy, as kissing.

Kissing is a damn strange thing.  It can be innocent; like kissing your little baby or your grandmother.  It can be wildly passionate; say when you're making out with that handsome stranger who shared your elevator down to the lobby.  It can be confusing and possibly hot; as it was with the person who used to give me a soft, lingering kiss on the side of the neck while giving me a friendly hug.  Actually, that was pretty hot if a little confusing.

I don't care for a chaste peck on the lips, and I usually feel skeeved out by playing tonsil-hockey, but I'm okay with kisses on the cheek.  I've never kissed my son on the mouth.  I won't kiss my family members on the mouth.  Heck, I generally won't even kiss my own husband on the mouth.  I used to, in the early days, but it's not my favorite way to show affection.  Heh, I guess he's lucky that kissing on the mouth was the one thing I stopped doing after we got married! 

I have no problem with kissing in general; I just don't like kissing on the mouth.  I didn't always have this weirdness about kissing and it was common to kiss family members on the lips when I was growing up.  I can't quite put my finger on when I developed a distaste for smooching, but I definitely don't care for it most of the time. 

Note that I said "most of the time."  Sure, I'll still mouth-kiss if I'm horny enough or if I've had enough wine or vodka.  Otherwise, I'm not of a fan of exploring someone's mouth.  I mean, I'm not a whack-a-doodle about germs or anything, but mouths are pretty freaking gross.  Just thinking about the bacteria level found in a healthy mouth totally creeps me out. 

Hm, you know, I might be a whack-a-doodle about germs because I'm not fond of shaking hands and it makes me mental to hear someone incessantly coughing.  I promise that I won't go all Howard Hughes though.  Unless I was as wealthy as HH, I'd be called crazy instead of eccentric.

What's your opinion about kissing?  Is it Hot or Not?  Am I the only person who doesn't really like it all that much?

Funny side note:  I was looking at yesterday and came across a pic of a watermelon that had been carved to look like a mouth, complete with tongue and teeth.  Yes, it grossed me out. 

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