Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Co-Sleeping Conundrum

Our son is still sleeping in our bed and, though I love him dearly, I'm really getting sick of our sleeping arrangements.  One wouldn't think that a three-foot toddler would be all that troublesome, right?  Wrong!

For starters, he will not actually fall asleep until the entire family is in the bed.  I might add that I do not sleep early - ever.  That means that he does not go to bed early enough - ever.  A toddler who doesn't get enough sleep is probably the most unpleasant person on the planet.

He also doesn't stay put when he sleeps and he is prone to moving around.  That might not sound so bad, but his arms and legs flail about all night long.  All.  Night.  Long.  Getting kicked in the head by an errant foot is a joy that I never expected to come with motherhood.

Worst of all, he sleeps right between his parents.  This means that snuggling with my husband is impossible because we have a 25-pound toddler hogging prime snuggle space on our bed.  And, well, anything that snuggling leads to is out the window for obvious reasons.

I know it sounds like we're totally inept, but we have tried EVERYTHING to get him to go to sleep in his own bed.  Sometimes we even move him from our bed to his bed and that works. . .until he wakes and crawls up in our bed.  Sadly, that is what we've had the most success doing.  At this rate, I'll never conceive that second child we've been trying for these last 18-months!

So, co-sleeping parents, I need a little advice.  How did you transition your co-sleeping child to their own bed and how long did it take?  I don't want to traumatize my son, so also let me know how your child felt about the change.  Also, um, how did you manage to do it while co-sleeping?  As in it.  Did you just do it on the couch?  The car?  The floor? 

I know that his clingy-ness is surely a temporary phase, but it's really getting old fast.


  1. Well all of my kids at one point co-slept with me and my hubby. When the kids were 2 or less, we would just move to the floor or the bathroom in our bedroom, luckily all my kids slept sound so they never woke up during.

    when it comes time to get him to sleep in his own bed you could pick one day during the week that he could co-sleep with you(a night that it wont make your hubby to tired for work) and put it on the calendar. make it nice and bright and every night tell him if he did not sleep in his bed tonight that he would not get to sleep with you on his assigned night. After while I am usre he would be used to sleeping in his bed that you could start to be a little deciteful without trama because he could not really tell what day it really was or was not or you could start making it every other week and gradually move it to less and less. He will see it as a reward for him sleeping in his own bed.

    Or you can just be the stern parent, which probably is best in my opinion and tell him NO you are not sleeping in my bed. you have yours and that is where you are going to sleep. DONT give into the crying or tantrums cause then they have won. You are not going to tramatize your son. He was sleeping on his own just fine in the crib but he is trying is limits and he is winning.

  2. Great advice, Stacey! I ended up taking it this evening while my hubby went back to work. And, after 45 freaking minutes of battling, he went to sleep in his own room! He didn't sleep in his bed (he went to sleep on the twin bed in his room), but he did fall asleep in his room at a little after 9:00 pm. True, I was in the rocking chair in his room and told him, "Shhh, it's bedtime," whenever he popped up and asked for me, but still. We've been doing other stuff to facilitate an easy bedtime transition and my fingers are crossed that he'll be consistently sleeping in his own room by the end of the week!

    September 28, 2010 12:01 AM