Bitter Old B*tches

My husband is just shy of twenty-years older than me.  That might seem weird to some (and society in general), but we get along very well and it's really not an issue with us.  I asked him once why he was interested in dating me instead of someone his own age and he replied that most of the women over 40-years of age were bitter old b*ches.  I thought that was a rather harsh assessment, but nodded and filed that information away in my brain's filing system.

He may have been correct!

I can't count the number of times that we've been out to dinner or out with our son and some menopausal old bag is glaring daggers in our direction.  I'll ask him if he knows the witch in question and he inevitably does not.  So he does not know this woman and she feels the need to be so up in our business that she can feel offended by our very relationship?  What a bitter old b*tch!

Seriously, what gets up in some women's twats that they get so pissy and b*tchy as they age?  Sure young women aren't exempt from the bitchiness, but they don't have the stink of bitterness on them and that bitterness is so unappealing and unattractive.  And, damn, some woman are just bitter old b*tches!

My hubs and I were at the grocery store last night.  I spotted a woman who looked remarkably like his ex-wife (well, as she looked when I saw her last - around five years ago or so) as we walked in and I mentioned it as I was feeling up the produce.  I say feeling up because he asked if I was planning to mouth the zucchini that I was inspecting prior to bagging it.  Whatever - some of us don't want to purchase sub-par produce and we thoroughly inspect every single vegetable and fruit that we purchase.  (I note that this could be the reason why the produce boys pop boners whenever I show up in their department!  haha)

Anyway, I said that I thought I'd seen his ex-wife.  He replied that I must have been mistaken because we don't exactly live around the corner from her and her husband.  I laughed and agreed that it would have been hella weird if it had been his ex-wife since we were so far from where they live.  That's pretty much it. 

I didn't talk any sh*t.  I didn't carry on about me being twenty-years younger than her.  I didn't say that I stole my husband from his first wife (I did not, by the way!)  I really don't have anything negative to say about her at all because she was somewhat hospitable toward me when we visited her home (it was a weird visit to make, BTW) and her mother is simply delightful!  Actually, I rather like my husband's former mother-in-law and my son likes her very much too!  We really are a weird family, right?

And this was it.  I wasn't an arrogant younger woman, lording her youth over an older woman.  I wasn't being a jerk.  I wasn't doing or saying anything that I'd be ashamed to say in front of my entire church congregation.

But for some reason, for some freaking bullsh*t reason, a woman gave me the stink eye over this convo. . .this convo that she was eavesdropping on.  I didn't realize at first that this cow was glaring daggers at us, but I did eventually become aware that the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up so I turned around.  I turned around to see a middle-aged (not middle aged like me, but like really middle aged) old bag with her eyes narrowed to slits and pointed in my direction.  She looked at hubs, looked at me, noted our son, and huffed off with her sack of walnuts. 

Whiskey.  Tango.  Foxtrot.

Seriously.  What the f*ck was her problem?  We are a happy family and I'm guessing that our happiness is evident even to strangers.  Who in the heck would have a problem with a happy family? 

Bitter old b*tches, I guess.

My husband told me that it's to be expected. . .that women of a certain age don't like or trust me because I'm obviously okay with mating with men of a certain age and that makes them (the women) feel insecure.  Add in that men of a certain age find me irresistible and I'm in a real pickle. 

You know what?  I call bullsh*t on the entire situation!  F*ck them if they have a problem because it's not my f*cking problem!

I am not a homewrecker.  I would have never, never, never broke up a marriage.  My husband's ex-wife left nearly ten years before I showed up on the scene.  Get that?  He was unmarried for nearly a decade before I came along to light up his life. 

Nonetheless, how dare this old bag judge me and cast her baleful glare at me?  She doesn't know jack sh*t about our relationship and my guess is that she was projecting.  I didn't sex up her husband - yeah, I'm assuming her hubs left her.  I am not the reason that she is alone and buying sh*tty meals for one in a grocery market.  I am not to blame here. . .and yet she projected all of her negativity toward me and it makes me regard her as a bitter old b*tch.

Hubs tells me that I should calmly walk up to those women (we see & note them fairly frequently) and proclaim all sorts of silliness.  Basically, to give them something to actually get worked up over.  Things like, "He never told me he was married, but I just had to have him so he divorced her for me," or "Your husband never really meant anything to me. . .but this guy (my hubs) made me give up all those middle-aged married men."  My hubs has a sicker sense of humor than me at times and that's really saying something!

I love my husband because he gets me as no other person on the planet can possible understand me; we are truly two peas in a pod - well, three peas now and hopefully four eventually!  Anyone who comes up with some snarky reason behind our relationship can EABOD and DIAF!  Seriously, just F-off!

I know we are May-December. . .but it doesn't matter to us.  Why does it matter to anyone else??