Funny Search Phrases

This site (Blogger) allows the blogger to check many different stats.  I frequently raise my eyebrows or get a chuckle out of the Google search phrases/words that drive people to this blog.  Here's a baker's dozen of  my latest faves (in no particular order) and the posts that they directed web traffic toward:

"me so hooooorny"  this blog post
"epiphany vibrator massager"  this blog post
"mosque at ground zero robot chicken" this blog post
"my midlife crisis is killing me" this blog post
"why do thin mints suck now" this blog post
"guitarists chicks dig" this blog post
"blogger has a baby" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"dildo sculpture" this blog post
"sapphic love blog" was a busy day and I couldn't tell which post was found by Google
"fuck shopping!" this blog post
"quotes about selfies" this blog post
"jerking off blog" this blog post
"grey pubes pluck out" this blog post

I can see how my blog might show up on a Google search with some of those, but others are leave me thinking, "Uh, what?" 

Do I ever come across as someone who is even remotely interested in sapphic love?  I think it's pretty obvious that I like the c*ck so why did Google grab my blog with that search?  I don't know, but it did and I was read by someone who wanted to know about getting a little chick on chick action.  I'm afraid that I may have disappointed them. . .

I must say that the "dildo sculpture" search left me in stitches.  Who in the world was looking for dildo sculptures?  I know the blog post that showed up and was read, but really - what the heck??  Did they want a sculpture of dildos?  Or were they as retarded as me wanted to molest some sculptures with dildos?  I'm still chuckling over their motivation in doing the search.

The jerking off search made me initially wonder which post would show up and I quickly realized that it was one in which I mocked a commercial about a dumbbell that vibrates.  It totally looks like manual masturbation of a man when you use said piece of exercise equipment.  I had a good laugh about it and I hope that the reader on another continent got my sense of humor.

Anyway, I was amused by the searches that lead readers to my blog and hope that you are as well.