Saturday, September 25, 2010

Bright Pink Dildo Art

I think my brother just cringed in Heaven at the title of this post, but I swear that this is not pervy.

A city next to mine has a requirement that all new construction must include some sort of art.  As a result, all new construction has some sort of lame sculpture out front.  Off the top of my head, I can think of quite a few different pieces:  ballerinas, eagles, a group of kids running, abstract shapes, and some sort of free-form sculpture that looks like three turds clustered tightly together.

I have a goofy sense of humor so accept my apologies if the following doesn't tickle your funnybone.

I've told my husband for several years that it would be hilarious to attach a bright pink dildo to each sculpture.  Imagine the dainty ballerinas en pointe. . .with a huge pink dong hanging out of their tutus.  The eagle. . .with a fake penis hanging out of it's mouth.  The kid in the rear "chasing" the other kids. . .with a dildo in his hand.  I chuckle at the thought of the townsfolk being outraged - outraged - by the plethora of bright pink dildos on their lame-ass sculptures.  Art is subjective, right?  Who's to say that my vision isn't also art?

Why dildos?  I don't know, but maybe it's because dick jokes are funny.  Why bright pink?  I guess because pink is my favorite color.  Why do I want to molest these sculptures?  I don't know, but I think it would be an epic prank. 

I actually asked my husband once if we could purchase a gross of bright pink dildos to make my dream come true.  He said no and added that he wouldn't want to bail me out of jail if I get caught sexually harassing the sculptures.  I then inquired about purchasing just one bright pink dildo and spending the night driving around town (attaching said dildo to sculptures) and taking a photograph so I know it happened once.  He looked at me like I suggested something really crazy and said he didn't think it was a good idea.  Killjoy.

What silly pranks have you pulled?  Were you caught?  I'd love to hear about them - whether or not they involve bright pink dildos!

4 comments:

  1. Dude, this sounds like the BEST girls' night out EVER! When shall we go harass some statues?

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  2. I'm in for some inappropriate statue modification!

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  3. I am there.....it would be freakin funny.

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  4. Ha! Can you imagine if we got busted? Three 20-something (it's my lie & I'm sticking to it!) mothers arrested for committing sex crimes against statues!

    September 27, 2010 9:47 AM

    and

    My oldest friend (not age-wise, of course!) is up for this prank?! I guess all that's left is to set the date to sexually harrass statues in Brea! haha

    September 28, 2010 12:04 AM

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